“I Wonder How He Gets Through The Day”: Wife Tests Limits Of Husband’s Obliviousness

A curious part of living with your partner over a long period of time is the discovery that some people are truly oblivious to the world around them. This can manifest itself in many ways, from comical to downright annoying, but with the right approach, someone can turn the situation to their advantage.

This is what one wife did when she realized her husband basically did not notice the changes she made around the house. With equal amounts of cunning and guile, she started some personal home renovations to see what she could get away with. Netizens shared their own “oblivious partner” stories in the comments section.

Some folks simply do not notice most things happening around them

Image credits: ketut-subiyanto (not the actual photo)

So a wife decided to take advantage of her husband’s obliviousness to the changes she made around the house

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Absent-mindedness can have a variety of causes

Psychologists have attempted to define absentmindedness as a sort of “zoning out,” where the person goes through lapses in their short-term and sometimes long-term memory. Similarly, these folks often have significant lapses in attention, which is particularly visible in OP’s story. It is important to note that the degree of obliviousness does, obviously, greatly differ from person to person. In extreme cases, the individual seems to hardly function and be a hazard to others, while in most cases it’s simply a bit comical.

Given that there is basically no evolutionary advantage to being obvious, as, say, not noticing the approaching tiger would have doomed our ancestors, scientists have worked hard to figure out the root causes. Interestingly, there are two, very different forces that might cause a person to completely not notice the color of a wall. The first is the aforementioned “zoning out,” where the person’s mind, much like a slow computer, is simply stuck processing previous information. As a result, they don’t really notice anything until it’s “resolved.”

Image credits: Alex Green (not the actual photo)

On the other hand, too much focus isn’t a good thing either

The second, very different explanation is that the person is hyperfocused on something else, with the result that they do not take in any information from anything. While in theory, this seems like a plus in many situations, let’s face it, more often than not, we as human beings absolutely miss the forest for the trees. There is an abundance of information floating around, and leaving it up to our brains to pick and choose what to see can be risky.

We all are inattentive to some degree, at least for specific periods of time. Distractions, tiredness, inebriation, or a particularly strong focus on something else can all make us miss the most obvious information in the world. Accidents happen all the time, very often due to inattentiveness, even if it’s just momentary. It can also lead to a lack of productivity, as a person needs to constantly refresh themselves on information and relearn things.

Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko (not the actual photo)

To an observer, it can be pretty comical at times

However, as OP and the many commenters note, it can truly be sort of funny at times. People love playing games with such individuals, to see just how far they can test their inattentiveness, for example, in the scene from the US version of “The Office“, where character Creed Bratton doesn’t notice that his coworkers have replaced his apple with a potato and take a sizable bite out of it. This also raises a humorous sort of theory crafting around how these folks manage to get through any day successfully.

However, if you happen to be very, very absent-minded, there is good news for you. While OP would perhaps like to have her husband remain somewhat in the dark, there are techniques that can be implemented to help a person be less forgetful. Specialists can help set up specific work schedules that help retain information through frequent, small breaks. Combating boredom also helps, as a bored mind tends to be very resistant to new information. However, OP should probably finish all her projects first before embarking on this path.

Image credits: Anastasia Shuraeva (not the actual photo)

Other readers shared their own stories and OP answered some questions

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