Woman Livid Her Nephew Refused To Accept Guardianship Of Orphaned Half-Siblings, Goes Ballistic On His Wife
It’s a sad, but true fact of life that one of the few ways to truly shield yourself from the emotional impact of a loss is to not have a relationship with the lost person to begin with. Being estranged, disowned or otherwise disconnected from people leads to that.
But sometimes being disconnected can lead to some surprises. Like being included in the parents’ will as a guardian of their kids—half-siblings to the son or daughter—despite the family ties only being a formality at this point.
A Redditor recently turned to the AITA community to get some perspective on such a situation. The story drew quite a bit of attention, leading to a discussion.
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Turns out, you can grant someone legal guardianship of your kids in your will… you just have to tell the guardian about it beforehand
Image credits: Sunny Lapin (not the actual image)
A Redditor by the nickname of u/Flaky_Sink3268 recently shared a story that’s actually of her husband, but she got involved really quickly. Thanks, Aunt [insert annoying extended family member name here].
You see, her husband did not keep in touch with his dad—his mother had passed away when he was 17, and even on her deathbed, his dad was already with another woman. He could not forgive that, so he left and did not talk to him ever since.
But you can get away with it without telling them, which will surely come as a surprise to some guy when a call comes in about 2 kids in his custody
Image credits: u/Flaky_Sink3268
Image credits: Chiara Coetzee (not the actual image)
Well, surprise, surprise, one day he gets a call. Turns out, the dad and his wife got into a fatal accident, and the will formalized that OP’s husband receives guardianship of the two kids they had. The husband never knew the will said this until now. He also never agreed to it. He still does not.
After he told the administrator calling him that he did not accept, the kids ended up in the custody of the aunt, the dad’s sister. And all would have been fine and dandy, if not for the aunt having a short-circuit and making it into a sort of a personal vendetta trying to make things right by making sure the kids stay within the family by forcing them onto OP and her husband.
So, she started borderline terrorizing the couple. Relentless calling led to them both blocking the aunt on their phones (work phones included), but they could not block her from showing up at their doorstep. Which she did.
What is even worse, once the guy refused, the aunt, who took the kids in, decided to terrorize the couple for refusing
Image credits: u/Flaky_Sink3268
OP was confronted about the whole issue on the spot. The aunt claimed OP and her husband were as much responsible for the now-orphaned kids as their parents, her in-laws, were, and no family history should get in the way of doing the right thing.
After OP refused, arguing that they are not, in fact, responsible for anything, and the answer remains a no, this was when the aunt went ballistic and started calling her heartless and saying that she, as a woman, should be ashamed to have married someone who “would discard flesh and blood children over the actions of adults.”
She had to leave.
After being blocked on multiple channels, she showed up at their door and had to leave, but not without giving a piece of her mind
Image credits: u/Flaky_Sink3268
Image credits: Sascha Kohlmann (not the actual image)
The question of who’s the a-hole was passed on to the r/AITA community, which voted on OP being in the right. Folks were in slight shock that the dad decided that his son, with whom he had zero contact and with whom he was never on good terms, would be entrusted with his kids from another marriage. He might as well give the kids up to complete strangers.
Others asked the question: why can’t the aunt take care of them if she’s so concerned? Let alone, they saw the irony in the aunt’s words—the woman who claimed it’s their flesh and blood, yet she is doing her best to discard them. And, in the end of it all, it’s the kids who have to live through this.
Folks sided with OP, saying they were neither legally, nor emotionally responsible in any way
Now, if you thought I never knew you can do that in a will! then be surprised, as it’s a thing. And it’s considered by many a wise step forward. According to LegalZoom, including guardianship in a will almost guarantees that your kids will be assigned the guardian you want as opposed to going through the default court procedures. This does not eliminate the court per se, as they might still need to verify this, but if your reasoning is justified, then it’s very likely they will bless the decision.
Assigning guardianship yourself is a smart decision because you get to decide, all within context, who’s best to care for your kids, if the laws of the universe decide you need to fulfill that sense of impending doom. This means that you get to decide who gets to ensure your kids get the best guardianship based on your spiritual beliefs, financial situation, and the kids’ needs, whether basic or special, among other factors.
But, back to the topic at hand. The post got some love from Reddit in the form of 11,300 upvotes and one beautiful feel-good Reddit award (probably one that the Redditor got for free, but hey, who cares, it’s all about karma!). You can read through it all in context here.
Oh, and don’t you think you can leave in the middle of everything without sharing your thoughts on this in the comment section below. Do it, now, DO IT!
Usually I'm all about balance in these cases. But in this one, I think OP and her partner ARE doing what's best for both the kids and themselves. Obviously sending orphaned children to live with someone they've never met who literally left the family because of their mother and probably has (completely understandable) s**t to work through as a result, is a great thing to do to children /s. Can't help but wonder if OP and husband are wealthy and people are trying to get them to take financial responsibility or if he was the most responsible one in the family (funny estranged dad would recognize that). Anyway, definitely better for everyone if the kids f8nd a home with someone they know who cares about them
NTA, NTA, NTA!!! And OP had better report "Auntie Dearest" for harassment. Let's just put it this way: immediate family aka husband gave a resounding NO, auntie has no case to force the issue on them anymore. Further action should just be considered harassment and authorities should be involved, moreso Child Protective Services or whichever they have.
NTA, the kids have lost both their parents and ideally should be going to the person closest to them, but closest doesn't necessarily mean closest blood relation. The kids have no relationship with their closest blood relation (their half-brother) due to the family history which OP's hubby is clearly not over. I'm not sure why the aunt seems to think that OP's hubby, who never forgave his father, never met his half-siblings should take them in. I just hope that the aunt can offer the kids the loving home they need after their loss.
Pretty simple. He doesn't want to meet the fruit of the loins that were being seeded while he watched his mother die. To say OP's entitled to resenting the step family is an understatement.
Your husband is being victimized again. He chose the healthiest reaction, to his father's betrayal of his mother, by leaving as a minor. The aunt that took the children in, needs to focus on their trauma. She needs to make sure they have therapy and she needs to stop harassing you and your husband.
The worst thing you can ever do for a child is force them to live in a home where they are both unwanted and unloved. Shame on the aunt for being a hypocrite and trying to force her burden (the children) onto someone else. If she "cared so much," she would keep those kids and raise them herself. The nerve of some people!
My wife and I agreed to be godparents to her cousin's daughter and raise her if anything happened to the cousin and her husband. Thankfully they are both well and she is in her senior year in college. We have a reciprocal agreement for our daughter (15) if anything should happen to my wife and I. Beyond that, we have three additional back up family members who could/would step up if need be... not to speak too ill of the dead, but not making multiple contingencies for your children is irresponsible. Most people don't think about death, but when you have kids you have to plan for stuff like that. And a child who left your life before they even turned 18 is not a plan!
Nta, but maybe daddy dearest put him down because he felt that his son was more responsible as an adult, regardless of issues. It's a sad situation all around. Daddy dearest was irresponsible in the sense that he put his son down without warning or notification. Personally, I'm more worried about the children being raised by what sounds like an aunt from hell. Son may not want them, but maybe he and his wife know of mature, loving families who want kids? Just a thought. Regardless of not wanting them, they are family. Best to have an amicable (sp?) Relationship in case of some sort of tragedy.
The thing that got me, was how OP was saying that part of the reason she didn't want her husband forced to take the kids, was that she didn't want the kids forced into a situation where they were unwanted and unloved. But the sad thing is, it seems to me the kids already ARE in just such a situation, with the nasty aunt. Not saying OP should take them. Just saying it's sad all around, and I hope those babies find their way into a better life.
This. All the people saying how horrible it would be for the children to be somewhere they're unwanted and unloved are ignoring the fact that is *exactly* where they are. I feel so bad for those poor children because you just know the aunt is going to hold it over their heads forever that no one wanted them.
Load More Replies... Why do some people think that forcing someone to take in someone else's children will suddenly turn everyone's lives into a Disney Production, complete with animated animals and singing? Did the Aunt, or anyone else, ASK THE KIDS whom *they* would feel comfortable living with? People have to get over treating children like puppies they want to foist on the nearest stranger.
The only people I see as TAH here are: The dad and his wife for the affair, and the aunt. The OP and husband ANTA here... Kids born are in the middle of this disaster. I firmly believe forcing anyone to take on a child or other person they dont know, estranged from, etc under diress is more harmful than not... I.E. you can not force care of anyone on any person if they choose not to. DNA does not mean jack in a situation like this one. THE AUNT is lucky she has not been slammed with stalking and harrassment charges here. The kicker here is the kiddos are seeing all of this as they are not wanted. Again, they didnt do this or ask for it. HOWEVER, the dude said NO. If this aunt cant see why he has an issue, she needs help and those kiddos need to get away from her insane frame of thinking... Forcing things like this on people never works, and it will end in alot more hate and/or abuse. CPS needs to step in and help this situation ASAP
Nta, the couple is not obligated to take in kids just because they are the husband's siblings. If they don't want them, then they won't take them. Yeah, the kids had nothing to do with the father's actions and they are innocent, but so what? And why would sone if y'all want these kids in the couple's home, KNOWING they're unwanted? I just don't understand. But anyway, nta, the kids can go find a loving home somewhere else.
NTA. OP's husband put his foot down, the moment he said no that was it. The Aunt had no reason to go behind his back to speak to OP. Trying to push children onto someone who doesn't want them is not okay. If fact it would be a toxic environment for the children to grow up in a home where they weren't wanted in the first place.
NTA. The aunt is for trying to guilt your husband into raising her brothers children from the woman he was having and affair with while still married. Someone should be trying to find maternal relatives of the children. Their grandmother maybe happy to have them with her. Did anyone try locating their mothers ex-husband. He may know some of her family and where they are. if they are located and are willing to take the children make sure they look into what financial benefits were left for them. BTW tell the aunt to get a life and stay out of yours.
Sounds like a "rules are more important than common sense" thing to me, guy is made guardian without agreeing or knowing about it, his idiot aunt wants them to go along with the decison he had no part in. OP is NTA.
it's hilarious how other relatives want you to be responsible for the kids because he is their brother, but she is the aunt and doesn't want the responsibility either but wants to cast you as the bad one
I can't help but wonder, though, if the guy's father was with this other woman with the full knowledge and permission/support of his dying mother. Yes, there are many cases where spouses cheat because they also need the emotional release due to taking care of a sick and dying loved one, but there are also a considerable number of cases where the dying spouse encourages the surviving spouse to get a head start on finding new love for emotional support, companionship, and to help ease the pain of watching them slowly die and the inevitable loss. I wouldn't be surprised if his father had such an arrangement and chose to keep it to himself, or that the son knew of the arrangement but it still pissed him off. I also wouldn't be surprised if it was behind his mom's back, just saying that we don't know the whole story. Either way, the aunt is a POS.
Looking at my family, if they were my niece and nephews I would definitely take them in. I have always had a problem with the way they were/are being raised. Also, it's always been my biggest dream to have kids and my oldest nephew looks like me when I was a kid so I think it works by miracle.
OP husband is an heir to both his mother and father, maybe his mother inheritance was not distributed by his father. Now he is entitled to his father inheritance. The aunt inherits nothing, maybe that is why she does no longer wants to keep them.
If I could AFFORD it, and they were my half-siblings, I might "look into" taking them, because I don’t know that Auntie is stable. If the children are already "brats" in & of themselves, then Definitely NO. To clarify, I wouldn't agree w/o consulting partner -- duh! To emphasize, the Aunt concerns me.
I named my brother as guardian of my two boys in my will. I talked it over with him first. It gives me peace of mind to know they'll be cared for by some one I know loves them. I feel bad for these children. No one wants them. No they're half brother doesn't have to raise them. But he better think about why he won't, and he's not punishing them for their father's actions, since they aren't responsible for their parents bad behavior
I agree with other comments. If there are other friends they were close to that would like to be guardians to these children that would be best. I believe there are Social Security survivor benefits the kids will be entitled to. All family connections could be looked into too. The Aunt is so wrong in what she is doing. OP and husband are right to recognize their limits in this situation. Once guardianship is worked out and OP and husband choose to develop a relationship with his siblings that should happen by choice not by being forced. Aunt is doing the very thing she is accusing them of doing and she knows the kids. OP and husband definitely need legal counsel to protect themselves from her. Maybe even look into the rights of the kids when a guardian is found.
Nope not at all! Couldn't be me because I would only tell you once and after that I would make you regret knowing me
ETA. I'm sorry if that seems callous, but I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if I didn't care for my two siblings, no matter how much I despised our mutual relations. I wouldn't want them going into the system, and I definitely wouldn't want them growing up around my apartment psychotic aunt who just showed up and tried to foist all the responsibility on me. It's a bad situation, but both parties are awful in this case.
But what would happen if the siblings are different sexes M and F. OP only reside in a 2 bedroom apartment. Are you saying they should uproot to a bigger place at their own expense?
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I think that in the end, both parties were AHS. But that's just my perspective from a person who grew up as a child as a ward of the state and didn't even graduate elementary, middle school or high school. It also comes from years of walking with God and processing the trauma in my life so that I can at least do some good for someone else in my life. But the biggest AH is the aunt. She should have let the kids go to adoption but she wanted that money. Reminds me of someone...
You realise the situation is you're having an affair and signed up your oldest child YOU betrayed as your other kids' legal guardian without the old kid's consent, right? How can a CHILD in this family be responsible for the actual ADULT'S behaviour?
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Yeah they are family, so what? Why do y'all want the kids to live with people that obviously don't want them? Y'all are disgusting.
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That's you, not the couple. NOBODY is obligated to take in kids they don't want. It's not unacceptable but you know what is? Forcing kids into a home where they are not loved and forcing kids on a couple that di not want them.
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🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️. Blood in no way shape or form means you HAVE to considered them family. He doesnt know them they are two strangers on the street. He has no emotional accountability for those kids. I know it's sounds harsh but this is reality we in.
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Willing the kids to someone DOESNT automatically mean they have a LEGAL obligation. Neither does your son so please don't tell him that. U would be best to contact and attorney for them to tell him because not sure where you got the information that he HAS to against his will. He nor they ever signed any legal guardianship papers. And if people can give THEIR OWN kids up freely you think someone can force someone else to take someone elses??? Thats just not the way that works.
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I dont see how you can compare not wanting someone else's children (who clearly wanted them) from a relationship that started as cheating on your mother to be equivalent to being pro-choice. OP would not have allowed his father to cheat if he had control and there would be no half-siblings because there would have been no other relationship. And there was no relationship between the father and the older son because he chose to cheat and picked his new fling over his ill wife and her children over his oldest. I am not prochoice but there is no way I would take in the illegitimate children if my father had ever thought to do that to my mother if they had had a similar situation. If they had met AFTER the mother had died and father had remarried and had more kids I bet OP's husband would have been ok taking them in, but as the situation stands, nope.
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Yes, so much better for these kids to go live with a half-brother who has been forced/coerced to take them in, and who is still harboring resentment, hurt, feelings of betrayal, anger, and disappointment towards their father who callously cheated on his dying mother, marrying and having these kids with his mistress very shortly after his mother's death. Living with a complete stranger who greatly resents their existence and hates their now-deceased parents seems like a fantastic choice for their emotional needs. I'm sure they will be able to work through their grief with the icy, distant support of a half-brother who never met them and doesn't want them. The relationship will certainly improve over time as the brother has to face the constant reminders (kids) of his father's betrayal every day. Forcing him to take them will most likely result in them growing up to be well-adjusted, happy adults with no emotional trauma whatsoever. /s. NO, HE SHOULD NOT BE FORCED TO TAKE THEM!
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Usually I'm all about balance in these cases. But in this one, I think OP and her partner ARE doing what's best for both the kids and themselves. Obviously sending orphaned children to live with someone they've never met who literally left the family because of their mother and probably has (completely understandable) s**t to work through as a result, is a great thing to do to children /s. Can't help but wonder if OP and husband are wealthy and people are trying to get them to take financial responsibility or if he was the most responsible one in the family (funny estranged dad would recognize that). Anyway, definitely better for everyone if the kids f8nd a home with someone they know who cares about them
NTA, NTA, NTA!!! And OP had better report "Auntie Dearest" for harassment. Let's just put it this way: immediate family aka husband gave a resounding NO, auntie has no case to force the issue on them anymore. Further action should just be considered harassment and authorities should be involved, moreso Child Protective Services or whichever they have.
NTA, the kids have lost both their parents and ideally should be going to the person closest to them, but closest doesn't necessarily mean closest blood relation. The kids have no relationship with their closest blood relation (their half-brother) due to the family history which OP's hubby is clearly not over. I'm not sure why the aunt seems to think that OP's hubby, who never forgave his father, never met his half-siblings should take them in. I just hope that the aunt can offer the kids the loving home they need after their loss.
Pretty simple. He doesn't want to meet the fruit of the loins that were being seeded while he watched his mother die. To say OP's entitled to resenting the step family is an understatement.
Your husband is being victimized again. He chose the healthiest reaction, to his father's betrayal of his mother, by leaving as a minor. The aunt that took the children in, needs to focus on their trauma. She needs to make sure they have therapy and she needs to stop harassing you and your husband.
The worst thing you can ever do for a child is force them to live in a home where they are both unwanted and unloved. Shame on the aunt for being a hypocrite and trying to force her burden (the children) onto someone else. If she "cared so much," she would keep those kids and raise them herself. The nerve of some people!
My wife and I agreed to be godparents to her cousin's daughter and raise her if anything happened to the cousin and her husband. Thankfully they are both well and she is in her senior year in college. We have a reciprocal agreement for our daughter (15) if anything should happen to my wife and I. Beyond that, we have three additional back up family members who could/would step up if need be... not to speak too ill of the dead, but not making multiple contingencies for your children is irresponsible. Most people don't think about death, but when you have kids you have to plan for stuff like that. And a child who left your life before they even turned 18 is not a plan!
Nta, but maybe daddy dearest put him down because he felt that his son was more responsible as an adult, regardless of issues. It's a sad situation all around. Daddy dearest was irresponsible in the sense that he put his son down without warning or notification. Personally, I'm more worried about the children being raised by what sounds like an aunt from hell. Son may not want them, but maybe he and his wife know of mature, loving families who want kids? Just a thought. Regardless of not wanting them, they are family. Best to have an amicable (sp?) Relationship in case of some sort of tragedy.
The thing that got me, was how OP was saying that part of the reason she didn't want her husband forced to take the kids, was that she didn't want the kids forced into a situation where they were unwanted and unloved. But the sad thing is, it seems to me the kids already ARE in just such a situation, with the nasty aunt. Not saying OP should take them. Just saying it's sad all around, and I hope those babies find their way into a better life.
This. All the people saying how horrible it would be for the children to be somewhere they're unwanted and unloved are ignoring the fact that is *exactly* where they are. I feel so bad for those poor children because you just know the aunt is going to hold it over their heads forever that no one wanted them.
Load More Replies... Why do some people think that forcing someone to take in someone else's children will suddenly turn everyone's lives into a Disney Production, complete with animated animals and singing? Did the Aunt, or anyone else, ASK THE KIDS whom *they* would feel comfortable living with? People have to get over treating children like puppies they want to foist on the nearest stranger.
The only people I see as TAH here are: The dad and his wife for the affair, and the aunt. The OP and husband ANTA here... Kids born are in the middle of this disaster. I firmly believe forcing anyone to take on a child or other person they dont know, estranged from, etc under diress is more harmful than not... I.E. you can not force care of anyone on any person if they choose not to. DNA does not mean jack in a situation like this one. THE AUNT is lucky she has not been slammed with stalking and harrassment charges here. The kicker here is the kiddos are seeing all of this as they are not wanted. Again, they didnt do this or ask for it. HOWEVER, the dude said NO. If this aunt cant see why he has an issue, she needs help and those kiddos need to get away from her insane frame of thinking... Forcing things like this on people never works, and it will end in alot more hate and/or abuse. CPS needs to step in and help this situation ASAP
Nta, the couple is not obligated to take in kids just because they are the husband's siblings. If they don't want them, then they won't take them. Yeah, the kids had nothing to do with the father's actions and they are innocent, but so what? And why would sone if y'all want these kids in the couple's home, KNOWING they're unwanted? I just don't understand. But anyway, nta, the kids can go find a loving home somewhere else.
NTA. OP's husband put his foot down, the moment he said no that was it. The Aunt had no reason to go behind his back to speak to OP. Trying to push children onto someone who doesn't want them is not okay. If fact it would be a toxic environment for the children to grow up in a home where they weren't wanted in the first place.
NTA. The aunt is for trying to guilt your husband into raising her brothers children from the woman he was having and affair with while still married. Someone should be trying to find maternal relatives of the children. Their grandmother maybe happy to have them with her. Did anyone try locating their mothers ex-husband. He may know some of her family and where they are. if they are located and are willing to take the children make sure they look into what financial benefits were left for them. BTW tell the aunt to get a life and stay out of yours.
Sounds like a "rules are more important than common sense" thing to me, guy is made guardian without agreeing or knowing about it, his idiot aunt wants them to go along with the decison he had no part in. OP is NTA.
it's hilarious how other relatives want you to be responsible for the kids because he is their brother, but she is the aunt and doesn't want the responsibility either but wants to cast you as the bad one
I can't help but wonder, though, if the guy's father was with this other woman with the full knowledge and permission/support of his dying mother. Yes, there are many cases where spouses cheat because they also need the emotional release due to taking care of a sick and dying loved one, but there are also a considerable number of cases where the dying spouse encourages the surviving spouse to get a head start on finding new love for emotional support, companionship, and to help ease the pain of watching them slowly die and the inevitable loss. I wouldn't be surprised if his father had such an arrangement and chose to keep it to himself, or that the son knew of the arrangement but it still pissed him off. I also wouldn't be surprised if it was behind his mom's back, just saying that we don't know the whole story. Either way, the aunt is a POS.
Looking at my family, if they were my niece and nephews I would definitely take them in. I have always had a problem with the way they were/are being raised. Also, it's always been my biggest dream to have kids and my oldest nephew looks like me when I was a kid so I think it works by miracle.
OP husband is an heir to both his mother and father, maybe his mother inheritance was not distributed by his father. Now he is entitled to his father inheritance. The aunt inherits nothing, maybe that is why she does no longer wants to keep them.
If I could AFFORD it, and they were my half-siblings, I might "look into" taking them, because I don’t know that Auntie is stable. If the children are already "brats" in & of themselves, then Definitely NO. To clarify, I wouldn't agree w/o consulting partner -- duh! To emphasize, the Aunt concerns me.
I named my brother as guardian of my two boys in my will. I talked it over with him first. It gives me peace of mind to know they'll be cared for by some one I know loves them. I feel bad for these children. No one wants them. No they're half brother doesn't have to raise them. But he better think about why he won't, and he's not punishing them for their father's actions, since they aren't responsible for their parents bad behavior
I agree with other comments. If there are other friends they were close to that would like to be guardians to these children that would be best. I believe there are Social Security survivor benefits the kids will be entitled to. All family connections could be looked into too. The Aunt is so wrong in what she is doing. OP and husband are right to recognize their limits in this situation. Once guardianship is worked out and OP and husband choose to develop a relationship with his siblings that should happen by choice not by being forced. Aunt is doing the very thing she is accusing them of doing and she knows the kids. OP and husband definitely need legal counsel to protect themselves from her. Maybe even look into the rights of the kids when a guardian is found.
Nope not at all! Couldn't be me because I would only tell you once and after that I would make you regret knowing me
ETA. I'm sorry if that seems callous, but I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if I didn't care for my two siblings, no matter how much I despised our mutual relations. I wouldn't want them going into the system, and I definitely wouldn't want them growing up around my apartment psychotic aunt who just showed up and tried to foist all the responsibility on me. It's a bad situation, but both parties are awful in this case.
But what would happen if the siblings are different sexes M and F. OP only reside in a 2 bedroom apartment. Are you saying they should uproot to a bigger place at their own expense?
Load More Replies... I think that in the end, both parties were AHS. But that's just my perspective from a person who grew up as a child as a ward of the state and didn't even graduate elementary, middle school or high school. It also comes from years of walking with God and processing the trauma in my life so that I can at least do some good for someone else in my life. But the biggest AH is the aunt. She should have let the kids go to adoption but she wanted that money. Reminds me of someone...
You realise the situation is you're having an affair and signed up your oldest child YOU betrayed as your other kids' legal guardian without the old kid's consent, right? How can a CHILD in this family be responsible for the actual ADULT'S behaviour?
Load More Replies... Yeah they are family, so what? Why do y'all want the kids to live with people that obviously don't want them? Y'all are disgusting.
Load More Replies... That's you, not the couple. NOBODY is obligated to take in kids they don't want. It's not unacceptable but you know what is? Forcing kids into a home where they are not loved and forcing kids on a couple that di not want them.
Load More Replies... 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️. Blood in no way shape or form means you HAVE to considered them family. He doesnt know them they are two strangers on the street. He has no emotional accountability for those kids. I know it's sounds harsh but this is reality we in.
Load More Replies... Willing the kids to someone DOESNT automatically mean they have a LEGAL obligation. Neither does your son so please don't tell him that. U would be best to contact and attorney for them to tell him because not sure where you got the information that he HAS to against his will. He nor they ever signed any legal guardianship papers. And if people can give THEIR OWN kids up freely you think someone can force someone else to take someone elses??? Thats just not the way that works.
Load More Replies... I dont see how you can compare not wanting someone else's children (who clearly wanted them) from a relationship that started as cheating on your mother to be equivalent to being pro-choice. OP would not have allowed his father to cheat if he had control and there would be no half-siblings because there would have been no other relationship. And there was no relationship between the father and the older son because he chose to cheat and picked his new fling over his ill wife and her children over his oldest. I am not prochoice but there is no way I would take in the illegitimate children if my father had ever thought to do that to my mother if they had had a similar situation. If they had met AFTER the mother had died and father had remarried and had more kids I bet OP's husband would have been ok taking them in, but as the situation stands, nope.
Load More Replies... Yes, so much better for these kids to go live with a half-brother who has been forced/coerced to take them in, and who is still harboring resentment, hurt, feelings of betrayal, anger, and disappointment towards their father who callously cheated on his dying mother, marrying and having these kids with his mistress very shortly after his mother's death. Living with a complete stranger who greatly resents their existence and hates their now-deceased parents seems like a fantastic choice for their emotional needs. I'm sure they will be able to work through their grief with the icy, distant support of a half-brother who never met them and doesn't want them. The relationship will certainly improve over time as the brother has to face the constant reminders (kids) of his father's betrayal every day. Forcing him to take them will most likely result in them growing up to be well-adjusted, happy adults with no emotional trauma whatsoever. /s. NO, HE SHOULD NOT BE FORCED TO TAKE THEM!
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