“AITA For Not Paying For My Daughter’s Honeymoon After She Canceled Her Wedding?”
Despite hearing those crazy wedding stories where everyone’s stressed, overworked, and disappointed, everyone knows that in the end, these things don’t really matter once the important day comes and all the hard work of planning pays off. But what if that day doesn’t come? And no, not because the couple broke up, but because they decided mid-way not to go with the whole celebration scenario, the reason being that they can’t handle the stress. Sounds complicated? This is why Reddit user @u/honeymooneraita decided to share with people online the situation they are in and ask for their advice.
More Info: Reddit
Couples that decide to go with a wedding celebration know how much time and pressure preparing for this special day requires
Image credits: Ryan Polei (not the actual image)
The author of the post shared that he and his wife have 3 grown-up children. Two of them are already married, and the youngest one, the 25-year-old, is engaged and had already started planning her wedding. The father revealed that their family had an agreement that the parents would give their children each $10K to be spent on the wedding or a down payment on their first home. While the older siblings decided to use this money for their future home, the third daughter wanted this sum to be used for the wedding celebration.
Reddit user wanted to ask others online if he was wrong for not wanting to pay for his daughter’s honeymoon after she spent thousands of dollars on her canceled wedding
Image credits: u/honeymooneraita
Everything would’ve gone according to plan, but in the middle of the whole wedding planning, the woman decided that she didn’t want to go with the whole big celebration thing and decided that she wanted to get married in a courthouse and have a 2-3 month long honeymoon that she and her husband would spend traveling around the world. Even though this sounds like a great alternative, the parents were quite upset with their daughter spending their $5K on caterers and wedding-related things that they couldn’t get back.
The parents decided to help out their daughter by giving her $10K for her dream wedding that she already spent half of while planning her big day celebration
Image credits: _Bluenose Girl (not the actual image)
A lot of users online agreed with the man, stating that she isn’t entitled to this money, it’s seen more as the parents’ generous offer. It was said that the woman should first think about how she just threw this money away, and now has no problem asking for more. Some users also suggested some ways out of how they could still “save” the paid money, but according to OP, that $5K is already a lost cause. What is your take on this situation? Don’t forget to share your insights in the comments section!
However, halfway through the planning, the bride-to-be decided to cancel the big wedding and instead use the rest of the money for the honeymoon
Image credits: u/honeymooneraita
Bored Panda contacted Wedding Planner, a leading wedding planner platform in the UK that provides a wide range of services for engaged couples, to find out some insightful nuances about wedding planning. We were curious to find out whether situations like this happen often. The specialists revealed that this is not a very common occurrence, adding: “The more common scenario is for couples to completely change their minds before the actual planning starts. So a couple may have originally thought they wanted to have a big wedding with lots of guests but then end up going down the route of eloping. It’s uncommon to go halfway down the road of planning a certain type of wedding and then going in the opposite direction.”
The daughter’s decision wasn’t well met by her parents, who at this point had spent $5K that they won’t get back because of non-refundable agreements
Image credits: u/honeymooneraita
While we all know how much stress and sleepless nights preparation for the wedding might cause, it was shared that oftentimes people like to plan everything themselves. “Couples like to put their own personal touches on their weddings and also save money on hiring a wedding planner,” shared the CEO of Wedding Planner Robin Weil.
The woman wasn’t happy to find out that her dad won’t give her the rest of the money, so family drama ensued
Image credits: u/honeymooneraita
What should couples do when they get overwhelmed with the whole planning process? Especially when backing off is not an option? The creator of the site explained: “We always say to couples that they should try and not put too much pressure on themselves from both a financial and an emotional perspective. All the guests and family are on your side. Try to enjoy the planning process and remember you probably have more time than you think you do.”
Image credits: u/honeymooneraita
For those who are just starting to think about their big day or those who are somehow about to get involved in the whole thing, Weil gives out one important thing that more people should know about: “There are likely to be small disagreements between friends and family, particularly around guest lists. Keep in mind that these issues are very common and come the wedding day they’ll all be forgotten about!”
In the end, OP just wanted to know whether he should stick to his guns or give the rest of the money to his daughter so she and her future husband could travel the world
Image credits: Sean P. Anderson (not the actual image)
People online were quick to provide their own point of view on the situation, a lot of them agreeing with the author of the post
After many years working in the service industry, in many different States, there is one thing a lot of people don't realize. Non refundable deposit, aren't. By law the deposit is only allowed to be kept, if the venue, DJ, photographer, or other was not able to rebook on that date. If they do rebook, they are required to return the deposit.
This sounds like it is months in advance so people like the dj and photographer have plenty of time to find a new gig. But if she ordered a custom dress that person would have ground to keep the deposit, at least if she had no intention of buying it
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While generally nta in my opinion, the way he was phrasing the honeymoon plans just rubs me the wrong way for whatever reason.
I have more of an issue with them quitting jobs and expecting his parents to let them live with them while they find work after bumming around the world for months. Employers don't like that ho~hum attitude, either.
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The parents offered her money under an either/or scenario, so maybe they should say whilst they are disappointed that first 5K has been lost as a result of being non-refundable, they will hold the rest until such time as the couple are ready to put a deposit on a house. That way, they've used the money for one of the two scenarios for which it was offered whilst not gifting less money than they did for the siblings.
Look at the OP's reply to one of the first comments. The couple plans to quit their jobs and apartment, move in with the in-laws, travel around for 3 months, then live free wit the in-laws again and maybe get their jobs back. That's exactly the type of people you do not want to give money to
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After many years working in the service industry, in many different States, there is one thing a lot of people don't realize. Non refundable deposit, aren't. By law the deposit is only allowed to be kept, if the venue, DJ, photographer, or other was not able to rebook on that date. If they do rebook, they are required to return the deposit.
This sounds like it is months in advance so people like the dj and photographer have plenty of time to find a new gig. But if she ordered a custom dress that person would have ground to keep the deposit, at least if she had no intention of buying it
Load More Replies... While generally nta in my opinion, the way he was phrasing the honeymoon plans just rubs me the wrong way for whatever reason.
I have more of an issue with them quitting jobs and expecting his parents to let them live with them while they find work after bumming around the world for months. Employers don't like that ho~hum attitude, either.
Load More Replies... The parents offered her money under an either/or scenario, so maybe they should say whilst they are disappointed that first 5K has been lost as a result of being non-refundable, they will hold the rest until such time as the couple are ready to put a deposit on a house. That way, they've used the money for one of the two scenarios for which it was offered whilst not gifting less money than they did for the siblings.
Look at the OP's reply to one of the first comments. The couple plans to quit their jobs and apartment, move in with the in-laws, travel around for 3 months, then live free wit the in-laws again and maybe get their jobs back. That's exactly the type of people you do not want to give money to
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