Woman Perfectly Explains ‘Not All Men’ With One Powerful Analogy So They Can Finally Understand It Interview
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After Sarah Everard’s tragic disappearance in the United Kingdom, women have been tackling important topics such as safety on the streets and putting a stop to harassment. Naturally, some men have come out in support while some others have pointed out that it’s ‘not all men’ who are putting them at risk.
However, Prithika Chowdhury gave some illustrative analogies in her viral TikTok video about how it’s not about ‘not all men’; the debate is about how there’s ‘enough’ or ‘too many men’ who are putting women at risk. Have a scroll down to watch her full video and be sure to let us know what you think in the comment section.
In an interview with Bored Panda, Prithika opened up how she has been sexually assaulted before, just like many other women. She wanted to draw attention to this in her video, as well as to show men why women have to be cautious around them. “I created those analogies in hopes that the boys would understand. Of course, the analogy wasn’t meant for all men and men only, it was to spread awareness and to say we can’t trust anybody 100%.”
The woman pointed out that not all men are bad, but enough of them are to make some women afraid of walking alone at night. You can watch her full video here
@prithika.chowdhuryword of the day: ENOUGH ##fyp ##foryou ##foryoupage♬ original sound – rin
Part-time influencer Prithika’s video was viewed a whopping 1.1 million times. It also got over 433.4k likes, was reshared over 21.5k times, and got people talking, with over 8.8k comments having been left underneath the video.
The TikToker told Bored Panda that she is a big believer in communication and dialogue as ways to make the world a better place. “In my opinion, I believe if we listen to both perspectives—see both sides—we can most likely resolve most of the world’s problems. However, we all know the world can never be perfect. All we can do is cope.”
Prithika said that as a TikTok creator, most of her videos are comedic. She aims to make her audience laugh. However, she uses her platform to raise awareness, too. “Hopefully, I can change the perspectives of my audience as well, to talk about many problems surrounding the world.”
Meanwhile, Bored Panda also spoke about what men can do to help make women feel safer, less anxious, and to show that they’re their allies with Jorge Arteaga, the deputy director of ‘Hollaback!’, an organization dedicated to eradicating harassment in all of its forms.
The influencer used several creative examples to get her point across
Arteaga was upfront that men have to be true allies. That means putting the needs of those at risk or in danger above your own desire to save the day.
“When you see violence or harassment remember to focus on safety and on helping the person who is experiencing the harm, or harassment. Don’t escalate the situation, you want to be clear and concise about what they’re doing, why it’s wrong, and what you want them to do to stop,” the deputy director of ‘Hollaback!’ explained to us.
Arteaga gave us an example of what men could say to the person harassing someone: “‘You are being inappropriate and are making them feel uncomfortable, please step away from them,’ and then turn to the person to make sure they are ok.”
He suggested that they don’t engage with the person doing the harassing or harm. “Now, for some men, they may feel wary approaching the situation or being direct because they may not want the woman to perceive them as also trying to harm them. That is understandable, and that is why you should always assess the scenario to find out what the best way to support is. Don’t get caught up in saving the day and focus on supporting the person being harmed,” Arteaga warned.
Living is in and of itself a risky business. You’re never ever completely safe wherever you might be or whoever you might be: there’s always a metaphorical crocodile around while you’re fishing. There will never come a time when everyone’s a saint. Accepting the reality that the world can be a dangerous place and that there are lots of bad people out there (not just good ones), as well as taking the necessary precautions to live it to the fullest seems preferable to waiting for the entire world to change on its own.
That’s not to say that we shouldn’t try and change things for the better (we absolutely should!), but we also can’t cling to the belief that there will be a ‘perfect’ time when there are no villains whatsoever, no matter their gender. The risk will always be there; the question is, what are we prepared to do to reduce it so that everyone feels safer? And are we prepared to support those in need of it?
This is how some TikTok users have been reacting to the viral video after it was posted
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Okay to the guys who are having issues with this post. You are right the majority of guys are good, but I can guarantee you would be hard pressed to find a woman who has not had an encounter with one of the bad ones or thought she was about to. Remember this is the 21st century and we as women can decide for ourselves if we think guys are not treating us right. You do not get to make that choice for us.
Yep, my experiences (being grabbed in a shop at age 12, having my top looked down, being catcalled etc etc) have made me wary of all males from about the age of 16 and over. You can earn my trust and I will not brand you as one of the bad men unless you give me reason to but I will still be wary of you until you prove by actions that I can trust you.
And if you weren't 'sufficiently' wary and something happened it could be called your own fault for not being careful enough/choosing to hang out with a wrong guy (as if they have their intentions written on their forheads). Damn if you do, damn if you don't.
I don't see what people have against alligators.
“The majority” is even a stretch. Many guys are great. Many guys are creeps and predators.
@Mewton's Third Paw Seriously? "The majority" is a stretch? I have a feeling you might need to change the crowds you hang out with if less than the majority of men you know are good guys!!
If someone said "most black people are good, but enough are bad to be wary of them", I'm betting you'd call that racist. Why can't you understand that saying the same thing about men is sexist?
A dominant majority could still be great guys but that does not disqualify the point. Here is one oversimplified thought exercise: A random group of people is walking a street south and other is walking north. In both groups there are 99 great to normal persons and one really creepy a-hole. There are still only 1% of creeps in the street and 99% of rest are basically ok but still, everyone have seen and met a creep on that day.
So if someone has a bad experience with a black person, should they fear all black people? If not, why do you hold men to a different standard?
I've been assaulted by women and still I'm not saying "Women bad".
You would be hard pressed to find a man who did not have some sort of drama with a female version of the men the girl is describing in her post. What is your point?
Talk about focus on the negative...
Does your point include also the bad women who destroy lives? Here's a factoid that puts things back in perspective: most infanticide happens at the hands of women. Should children feel about women as NOT ALL WOMEN claim to feel about men?
Hard pressed to find a man who has not had an encounter with one of the bad ones. What's your point?
I agree with you. You can make the choice. You can be the judge of if something about a guy feels off. I as a Male will not assault women, will not, approach them in a way that is inappropriate. I will not push myself on them in anyway. I sont think any man will ever say all men are good or disagree that there are bad men and women out there that do wish harm on others. The need to constantly tell men that women are afraid of men is just overkill though. People are bad be discerning with who you interact with man or woman.
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Let's put it another way so you can see how sexist her analogies are: You know that all blacks are not dangerous, but there is a higher statistical likelihood of crime in a black neighborhood that than a white neighborhood. Do you buy a house in a black neighborhood or a white neighborhood? She would tell you 'no' and then defend it by saying there is enough extra danger that you are perfectly justified to say that out loud. So, we going to be honest about what she is saying is sexist or not?
What kind of stupid are you???
My GOODNESS. This post is not about race. It's about the fact that women being afraid of men is valid.
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I'm sure I'll get downvoted for this, but then how the heck is a woman supposed to find a boyfriend, husband, or male friend if she is following this logic that you should treat every man as if they are bad? Wouldn't that teach you that your first instinct should be to always avoid men?
You're missing the point. Women aren't treating all men as if they are bad, but there is such a high statistical risk of being assaulted or harassed that women are living in constant and persistent anxiety that they could be victimized. It doesn't stop them from living their lives and pursuing relationships with men (for those who want), but it means they're knowingly putting themselves at risk to do so. We men should feel horribly sad and rightfully upset that the women in our lives and around us are enduring this anxiety every damn day all the damn time. We should demand better from other men and teach ourselves and other guys and our sons to be better Humans.
But you ARE missing the point. Analogies are just used to illustrate, they're not to be taken 100% literally, and it's obviously also not a black and white thing, but all shades of gray in between. Yes, the cheesecakes may be poisoned, but the poison isn't lethal in small doses, and also you really like cheesecake. So you take a calculated risk and try bits and pieces, while being cautious and looking for any sign of feeling unwell. If you still feel fine after eating enough cheesecake, you start to trust this particular cheesecake more and begin to enjoy it without fear. But THE NEXT TIME you try to eat a cheesecake, you' re again very cautious and guarded, until the cheesecake is proven to be safe. By the same token, women don't stop dating men or interacting with them altogether, but they are cautious in every single interaction with a man, until he proves that he is not a threat.
Treating every man like he is going to harm you, being mentally or physically, doesn't mean a man can't prove you wrong. Harm against women has been so normalized that this is how women are forced to date now. Hollywood has turned the "emergency text/call" into a joke to get out of a bad date or a date you aren't interested in, when really it is a life line so you can get out of a situation that doesn't feel safe. Women now are taught to share their geo-location tracking (be it find my friend or via google location services) with a friend anytime they go out. Not just a date. ANY TIME. Young girls are taught how to defend themselves with house keys and a backpack. Women have learned to adapt in a world that has normalized violence against us, to the point that we are often victim blamed. This isn't new, many men are just finally hearing it.
What makes you think, Bobert, that we all want to find a boyfriend, husband, or male friend? For the record, btw, you watch their behavior to others, from safety; you ask about them, of people you trust; you go on a first date or outing with a sense of anxiety and with a lot of witnesses around, preferably in a group with at least two or more trusted friends. Just sayin'.
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Simon Kwan - I'm not missing the point, the point of this woman's message is that enough men are bad so treat them as if they are bad. That's exactly what she said... if I treat every cheesecake as if it was poison, I'd never eat cheesecake. She must never date then. I get there is an issue with society, but her logic is flawed.
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But al her comparisons are off. Most doors are see through when it comes to assholes and it's not one in three men that fits that category. Also they are not deadly. The one with the alligator is just stupid. This is just plain stupid and it's not how it works. It's fear mongering, victimizing and many more things other than realistic.
I think all the women murdered by men might disagree men aren't deadly
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I have changed my comment to be what everyone expects. I am a man and therefore a threat. As such I must now go out of my way to constantly prove I am not a threat.
I was raped by my (now ex) HUSBAND, whilst we were together. Do I trust men?
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This crowd does not understand individualism, I think. If they do, they don't understand how it applies to Liberalism and how what they are doing with group discrimination is antithetical to it.
As an older, unattractive, middle-aged man it is extremely lonely and humiliating to constantly be treated like a potential creep and rapist. To have to cross the road to get away from women so that I'm not intimidating them. To have to move and look pointedly away from strange women so they don't assume I'm creeping on them. But I'm pretty sure it's even less fun for women to have to fear getting molested, raped or murdered by some entitled, sociopathic piece of garbage.
OMG THANK YOU for actually understanding!!!!!!! Some of you “men” need to read this!
Tara, I'm curious how you would react if a black person said that they "understand why white people are afraid of black people. Even if it isn't the majority, enough of them are bad to avoid them". If you are willing to call that argument racist, why aren't you willing to call the same argument against men sexist?
Two people hate children. And counting.
Infanticide occurs mainly at the hands of women - particularly mothers. Keep women and particularly mothers away from children! Make sense? That's what you mob sound like.
News for you Tara, disagreeing with you doesn't make someone not a man, no matter how badly you want it to be true.
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You get that he should individually be shamed because of the actions of others he has no control over. That's bullsh-t. Maybe women should be forced not to wear revealing clothes because that bothers some men. See how stupid that logic is?
Feel loved, you seem like an awesome person!
You. Get. IT.
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Well, if you were to stay on the same side of the road she'd be safer, wouldn't she. Stop feeding the trolls.
@Paul Davis, thank you. yes, it is less fun. I knew my hubby for 2 years before we went on a date, and I *still* felt nervous about it, just in case, b/c, y'know, what if....
Leo, you do realize that women can assault men as well, right? If you were automatically afraid of your date because he is a male, would you also be okay with him being afraid of you because of you being a female?
The problem with the "not all men" attitude isn't about "how many men" mathematically. The problem is about the reaction. If the story of the villain isn't about you, why are you jumping to the defensive? Someone just confessed something terrible that happened, and instead of showing empathy, learn and spread the knowledge, you go "not all men". THAT was what it's really about, let's not lose focus.
A lot of the "Not all men" folks are the same as the "All lives matter" folks. Instead of compassionately acknowledging the validity and immediacy of the people who are saying they're afraid and need support, they aggressively assert plausible deniability and dilute the impact of the message. They resent the implicit accusation because they know they too closely resemble the problem.
Simon, it seems like a lot of people on here who say "you can never know if a man is a rapist" have the same mentality as the racists who say "you can never know if a black person is a criminal". I wish people would understand why stereotyping is bad, yes, even if it is against men.
lame article: How do you equte initiating a divorce with hurting men? It's literally ending a relationship one no longer wants to be in. Did I misunderstand you or are you implying that women should be in realtionships even though they don't want to be, lest they will negatively impact men?
@Simon Kwan Because women cannot be blamed, they are perfect creatures that only ever leave or cheat on you if you contributed to making them want to do so, right? Thanks for confirming what I suspected about you in the last sentence of my previous post. Your inherent misandry is showing. You're like those people with white guilt except with a penis instead. That post you made wondering if toxic femininity is a thing? You clearly don't have an opinion unless it's spoonfed to you by the majority. You have a lot to learn about women, hopefully you figure it out before passing your delusions onto your children. ------ @Anna Banana You seriously don't understand how a divorce can't be traumatic or not be mutually wanted? You don't think getting to see your children 50% of the time (best case scenario) doesn't hurt? Hopefully you aren't callous enough to just chalk that up to "fee-fees". I'm implying that if you make a forever vow to someone you should keep it, and honestly if you don't agree, it should be a warning sign to anyone who would consider marrying you, especially if it will have an adverse financial impact to them on top of their existing emotional pain. Marriage is clearly an outdated concept in modern society, why bother?
Sounds like you're projecting your own emotions if you feel others who disagree with you "know they resemble the problem", Simon. Maybe they're just tired of hearing what men need to do to make women happy every week. A lot of us recognize that we already teach our sons how to behave properly. Telling men to "do better" isn't going to actually accomplish anything no matter how firmly you clutch your pearls because rapists and physical abusers either react out of emotion or don't actually care what society thinks. But hey, if you insist on making yourself feel horrible about it I'm sure you could contribute money to some group that runs ads about how assault is bad to increase "awareness". If this analogy is so "powerful" and we shouldn't deny and dilute the message, how about all the negative ways women impact men through initiating 70% of divorces? That's an even higher number in college-educated women. How about those poisoned cheesecakes, Simon? Ready to tell women to be better? Somehow I doubt it. You'll probably just hand wave it away as men that didn't communicate or meet their partner's needs drove their spouses away.
Very well said!🥰
@lame article, emphasis on lame, 'clutch your pearls' is misogynistic and a tell that you don't recognize your inherent misogyny. As for who's projecting, it doesn't take a psychologist to figure out you feel you've been done wrong because your wife or partner ended their relationship with you. Sorry if that was painful but figure out what you contributed to that outcome rather than blaming her.
I'm too suspicious of any man that says "not all men" in a context where no one said it's all men. If he wants to convince me (or anyone else) that it's not about him and that he is one of the good ones, saying or writing something like that is acting too defensive
If there was an article talking about white people fear black people and a black person said "not all black people are like that", would you automatically think that he was trying to cover up bad behavior? If not, then why do you react differently when it is men rather than black people?
Because you never say "some men" or even better "some people". It's always "men" without any further qualifier, which means "men in general". So men are getting defensive because of your offensive choice of wording.
Daria, if there was a story about how white people feared black people and a black person complained about being negatively stereotyped, and then someone responded "if the story of the villain isn't about you, why are you jumping to the defensive?" do you understand why that response would be racist? If so, do you now understand how your comment was sexist?
I know, right? Like when someone says that black people are criminals, why should I, as a black person, be offended? I personally am not a criminal, so blatant profiling and discrimination is okay. If someone wants to profile me as a criminal and treat me as such, I would be a monster for taking offense and pointing out that bad people in my group are a very very very small minority. And that profiling me can and does lead to systematic discrimination. #notallblacks
Hey Marcellus! 1275881136...8711a1.jpg
Qwerty, have you actually read articles about male suicide? Yes, there will always be at least one woman who says "suicides happen to women too".
She is making it about numbers and comparisons though. It takes away the attention from what is really going on.
I know. I'm not praising her. Neither criticising her. I'm just trying to remind everyone of the real issue.
It's not like life is super safe for men. Most of the victims of violence are men, especially young black men in US and UK for example.
that's absolutely true, but responding "men have problems too!" is the wrong way to empathize. (i don't know if you could call it empathizing anyway). it sounds like you're getting defensive, which is sort of proving Daria B's point. when someone has a problem, you don't tell them how your problems are worse! it's like saying "men get raped too" in response to women talking about their experiences with it. YES they do, YES it is ignored even more frequently than women being raped, and YES it is horrible for ANYONE to get raped, regardless of gender. but to say it in that situation implies you only bring it up to discount those women's experiences.
He Marcellus, just because we say" save the rainforrest" it doesn't mean the other forrests are not also having a hard time. Women are more vulnerable than men. Your reply is like the "But all lives matter"... reply to "Black lives matter".
Group discrimination based on inherent attributes is abhorrent. You are justifying discrimination and hatred based on the actions of some of a group. I highly suggest you rethink your philosophy on this.
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How many times have you been raped? How many times has someone followed you down the street making threats? Get over yourself little boy. You don't know what you're talking about.
Okay to the guys who are having issues with this post. You are right the majority of guys are good, but I can guarantee you would be hard pressed to find a woman who has not had an encounter with one of the bad ones or thought she was about to. Remember this is the 21st century and we as women can decide for ourselves if we think guys are not treating us right. You do not get to make that choice for us.
Yep, my experiences (being grabbed in a shop at age 12, having my top looked down, being catcalled etc etc) have made me wary of all males from about the age of 16 and over. You can earn my trust and I will not brand you as one of the bad men unless you give me reason to but I will still be wary of you until you prove by actions that I can trust you.
And if you weren't 'sufficiently' wary and something happened it could be called your own fault for not being careful enough/choosing to hang out with a wrong guy (as if they have their intentions written on their forheads). Damn if you do, damn if you don't.
I don't see what people have against alligators.
“The majority” is even a stretch. Many guys are great. Many guys are creeps and predators.
@Mewton's Third Paw Seriously? "The majority" is a stretch? I have a feeling you might need to change the crowds you hang out with if less than the majority of men you know are good guys!!
If someone said "most black people are good, but enough are bad to be wary of them", I'm betting you'd call that racist. Why can't you understand that saying the same thing about men is sexist?
A dominant majority could still be great guys but that does not disqualify the point. Here is one oversimplified thought exercise: A random group of people is walking a street south and other is walking north. In both groups there are 99 great to normal persons and one really creepy a-hole. There are still only 1% of creeps in the street and 99% of rest are basically ok but still, everyone have seen and met a creep on that day.
So if someone has a bad experience with a black person, should they fear all black people? If not, why do you hold men to a different standard?
I've been assaulted by women and still I'm not saying "Women bad".
You would be hard pressed to find a man who did not have some sort of drama with a female version of the men the girl is describing in her post. What is your point?
Talk about focus on the negative...
Does your point include also the bad women who destroy lives? Here's a factoid that puts things back in perspective: most infanticide happens at the hands of women. Should children feel about women as NOT ALL WOMEN claim to feel about men?
Hard pressed to find a man who has not had an encounter with one of the bad ones. What's your point?
I agree with you. You can make the choice. You can be the judge of if something about a guy feels off. I as a Male will not assault women, will not, approach them in a way that is inappropriate. I will not push myself on them in anyway. I sont think any man will ever say all men are good or disagree that there are bad men and women out there that do wish harm on others. The need to constantly tell men that women are afraid of men is just overkill though. People are bad be discerning with who you interact with man or woman.
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Let's put it another way so you can see how sexist her analogies are: You know that all blacks are not dangerous, but there is a higher statistical likelihood of crime in a black neighborhood that than a white neighborhood. Do you buy a house in a black neighborhood or a white neighborhood? She would tell you 'no' and then defend it by saying there is enough extra danger that you are perfectly justified to say that out loud. So, we going to be honest about what she is saying is sexist or not?
What kind of stupid are you???
My GOODNESS. This post is not about race. It's about the fact that women being afraid of men is valid.
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I'm sure I'll get downvoted for this, but then how the heck is a woman supposed to find a boyfriend, husband, or male friend if she is following this logic that you should treat every man as if they are bad? Wouldn't that teach you that your first instinct should be to always avoid men?
You're missing the point. Women aren't treating all men as if they are bad, but there is such a high statistical risk of being assaulted or harassed that women are living in constant and persistent anxiety that they could be victimized. It doesn't stop them from living their lives and pursuing relationships with men (for those who want), but it means they're knowingly putting themselves at risk to do so. We men should feel horribly sad and rightfully upset that the women in our lives and around us are enduring this anxiety every damn day all the damn time. We should demand better from other men and teach ourselves and other guys and our sons to be better Humans.
But you ARE missing the point. Analogies are just used to illustrate, they're not to be taken 100% literally, and it's obviously also not a black and white thing, but all shades of gray in between. Yes, the cheesecakes may be poisoned, but the poison isn't lethal in small doses, and also you really like cheesecake. So you take a calculated risk and try bits and pieces, while being cautious and looking for any sign of feeling unwell. If you still feel fine after eating enough cheesecake, you start to trust this particular cheesecake more and begin to enjoy it without fear. But THE NEXT TIME you try to eat a cheesecake, you' re again very cautious and guarded, until the cheesecake is proven to be safe. By the same token, women don't stop dating men or interacting with them altogether, but they are cautious in every single interaction with a man, until he proves that he is not a threat.
Treating every man like he is going to harm you, being mentally or physically, doesn't mean a man can't prove you wrong. Harm against women has been so normalized that this is how women are forced to date now. Hollywood has turned the "emergency text/call" into a joke to get out of a bad date or a date you aren't interested in, when really it is a life line so you can get out of a situation that doesn't feel safe. Women now are taught to share their geo-location tracking (be it find my friend or via google location services) with a friend anytime they go out. Not just a date. ANY TIME. Young girls are taught how to defend themselves with house keys and a backpack. Women have learned to adapt in a world that has normalized violence against us, to the point that we are often victim blamed. This isn't new, many men are just finally hearing it.
What makes you think, Bobert, that we all want to find a boyfriend, husband, or male friend? For the record, btw, you watch their behavior to others, from safety; you ask about them, of people you trust; you go on a first date or outing with a sense of anxiety and with a lot of witnesses around, preferably in a group with at least two or more trusted friends. Just sayin'.
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Simon Kwan - I'm not missing the point, the point of this woman's message is that enough men are bad so treat them as if they are bad. That's exactly what she said... if I treat every cheesecake as if it was poison, I'd never eat cheesecake. She must never date then. I get there is an issue with society, but her logic is flawed.
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But al her comparisons are off. Most doors are see through when it comes to assholes and it's not one in three men that fits that category. Also they are not deadly. The one with the alligator is just stupid. This is just plain stupid and it's not how it works. It's fear mongering, victimizing and many more things other than realistic.
I think all the women murdered by men might disagree men aren't deadly
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I have changed my comment to be what everyone expects. I am a man and therefore a threat. As such I must now go out of my way to constantly prove I am not a threat.
I was raped by my (now ex) HUSBAND, whilst we were together. Do I trust men?
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This crowd does not understand individualism, I think. If they do, they don't understand how it applies to Liberalism and how what they are doing with group discrimination is antithetical to it.
As an older, unattractive, middle-aged man it is extremely lonely and humiliating to constantly be treated like a potential creep and rapist. To have to cross the road to get away from women so that I'm not intimidating them. To have to move and look pointedly away from strange women so they don't assume I'm creeping on them. But I'm pretty sure it's even less fun for women to have to fear getting molested, raped or murdered by some entitled, sociopathic piece of garbage.
OMG THANK YOU for actually understanding!!!!!!! Some of you “men” need to read this!
Tara, I'm curious how you would react if a black person said that they "understand why white people are afraid of black people. Even if it isn't the majority, enough of them are bad to avoid them". If you are willing to call that argument racist, why aren't you willing to call the same argument against men sexist?
Two people hate children. And counting.
Infanticide occurs mainly at the hands of women - particularly mothers. Keep women and particularly mothers away from children! Make sense? That's what you mob sound like.
News for you Tara, disagreeing with you doesn't make someone not a man, no matter how badly you want it to be true.
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You get that he should individually be shamed because of the actions of others he has no control over. That's bullsh-t. Maybe women should be forced not to wear revealing clothes because that bothers some men. See how stupid that logic is?
Feel loved, you seem like an awesome person!
You. Get. IT.
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Well, if you were to stay on the same side of the road she'd be safer, wouldn't she. Stop feeding the trolls.
@Paul Davis, thank you. yes, it is less fun. I knew my hubby for 2 years before we went on a date, and I *still* felt nervous about it, just in case, b/c, y'know, what if....
Leo, you do realize that women can assault men as well, right? If you were automatically afraid of your date because he is a male, would you also be okay with him being afraid of you because of you being a female?
The problem with the "not all men" attitude isn't about "how many men" mathematically. The problem is about the reaction. If the story of the villain isn't about you, why are you jumping to the defensive? Someone just confessed something terrible that happened, and instead of showing empathy, learn and spread the knowledge, you go "not all men". THAT was what it's really about, let's not lose focus.
A lot of the "Not all men" folks are the same as the "All lives matter" folks. Instead of compassionately acknowledging the validity and immediacy of the people who are saying they're afraid and need support, they aggressively assert plausible deniability and dilute the impact of the message. They resent the implicit accusation because they know they too closely resemble the problem.
Simon, it seems like a lot of people on here who say "you can never know if a man is a rapist" have the same mentality as the racists who say "you can never know if a black person is a criminal". I wish people would understand why stereotyping is bad, yes, even if it is against men.
lame article: How do you equte initiating a divorce with hurting men? It's literally ending a relationship one no longer wants to be in. Did I misunderstand you or are you implying that women should be in realtionships even though they don't want to be, lest they will negatively impact men?
@Simon Kwan Because women cannot be blamed, they are perfect creatures that only ever leave or cheat on you if you contributed to making them want to do so, right? Thanks for confirming what I suspected about you in the last sentence of my previous post. Your inherent misandry is showing. You're like those people with white guilt except with a penis instead. That post you made wondering if toxic femininity is a thing? You clearly don't have an opinion unless it's spoonfed to you by the majority. You have a lot to learn about women, hopefully you figure it out before passing your delusions onto your children. ------ @Anna Banana You seriously don't understand how a divorce can't be traumatic or not be mutually wanted? You don't think getting to see your children 50% of the time (best case scenario) doesn't hurt? Hopefully you aren't callous enough to just chalk that up to "fee-fees". I'm implying that if you make a forever vow to someone you should keep it, and honestly if you don't agree, it should be a warning sign to anyone who would consider marrying you, especially if it will have an adverse financial impact to them on top of their existing emotional pain. Marriage is clearly an outdated concept in modern society, why bother?
Sounds like you're projecting your own emotions if you feel others who disagree with you "know they resemble the problem", Simon. Maybe they're just tired of hearing what men need to do to make women happy every week. A lot of us recognize that we already teach our sons how to behave properly. Telling men to "do better" isn't going to actually accomplish anything no matter how firmly you clutch your pearls because rapists and physical abusers either react out of emotion or don't actually care what society thinks. But hey, if you insist on making yourself feel horrible about it I'm sure you could contribute money to some group that runs ads about how assault is bad to increase "awareness". If this analogy is so "powerful" and we shouldn't deny and dilute the message, how about all the negative ways women impact men through initiating 70% of divorces? That's an even higher number in college-educated women. How about those poisoned cheesecakes, Simon? Ready to tell women to be better? Somehow I doubt it. You'll probably just hand wave it away as men that didn't communicate or meet their partner's needs drove their spouses away.
Very well said!🥰
@lame article, emphasis on lame, 'clutch your pearls' is misogynistic and a tell that you don't recognize your inherent misogyny. As for who's projecting, it doesn't take a psychologist to figure out you feel you've been done wrong because your wife or partner ended their relationship with you. Sorry if that was painful but figure out what you contributed to that outcome rather than blaming her.
I'm too suspicious of any man that says "not all men" in a context where no one said it's all men. If he wants to convince me (or anyone else) that it's not about him and that he is one of the good ones, saying or writing something like that is acting too defensive
If there was an article talking about white people fear black people and a black person said "not all black people are like that", would you automatically think that he was trying to cover up bad behavior? If not, then why do you react differently when it is men rather than black people?
Because you never say "some men" or even better "some people". It's always "men" without any further qualifier, which means "men in general". So men are getting defensive because of your offensive choice of wording.
Daria, if there was a story about how white people feared black people and a black person complained about being negatively stereotyped, and then someone responded "if the story of the villain isn't about you, why are you jumping to the defensive?" do you understand why that response would be racist? If so, do you now understand how your comment was sexist?
I know, right? Like when someone says that black people are criminals, why should I, as a black person, be offended? I personally am not a criminal, so blatant profiling and discrimination is okay. If someone wants to profile me as a criminal and treat me as such, I would be a monster for taking offense and pointing out that bad people in my group are a very very very small minority. And that profiling me can and does lead to systematic discrimination. #notallblacks
Hey Marcellus! 1275881136...8711a1.jpg
Qwerty, have you actually read articles about male suicide? Yes, there will always be at least one woman who says "suicides happen to women too".
She is making it about numbers and comparisons though. It takes away the attention from what is really going on.
I know. I'm not praising her. Neither criticising her. I'm just trying to remind everyone of the real issue.
It's not like life is super safe for men. Most of the victims of violence are men, especially young black men in US and UK for example.
that's absolutely true, but responding "men have problems too!" is the wrong way to empathize. (i don't know if you could call it empathizing anyway). it sounds like you're getting defensive, which is sort of proving Daria B's point. when someone has a problem, you don't tell them how your problems are worse! it's like saying "men get raped too" in response to women talking about their experiences with it. YES they do, YES it is ignored even more frequently than women being raped, and YES it is horrible for ANYONE to get raped, regardless of gender. but to say it in that situation implies you only bring it up to discount those women's experiences.
He Marcellus, just because we say" save the rainforrest" it doesn't mean the other forrests are not also having a hard time. Women are more vulnerable than men. Your reply is like the "But all lives matter"... reply to "Black lives matter".
Group discrimination based on inherent attributes is abhorrent. You are justifying discrimination and hatred based on the actions of some of a group. I highly suggest you rethink your philosophy on this.
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How many times have you been raped? How many times has someone followed you down the street making threats? Get over yourself little boy. You don't know what you're talking about.