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Muslim Woman Claims Coworker’s Name Insults Her Religion, Demands She Change It
The workplace is no place for racism or any kind of discrimination. Yet, according a 2023 global report by Catalyst, 66% of employees say they’ve experienced racism during their careers, and 52% claimed to experience it in their current jobs.
This Korean woman faced drama because of her non-English name. When a Muslim coworker complained to a manager that her Korean name means something offensive in her religion, the woman was asked to either use an English version of her name or choose a nickname while at work. Feeling that this isn’t a reasonable ask, the woman decided to check with people on the internet.
RELATED:
A Korean woman was asked to change her name at work because it meant something offensive to her Muslim colleague
Image credits: unsplash (not the actual photo)
Not sure whether this is appropriate, the woman decided to seek advice online
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: throwawayrella
Having a non-white-sounding name diminishes one’s chances to get employed
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
“What’s in a name?”, Shakespeare asked in Romeo & Juliet. Turns out, a lot. We might think that a name is just a sound and word we use to call others. But, in reality, names come with a lot of bias, and it’s most frequently racial.
Many children of immigrants can attest to that. Whether they live in the U.S., the UK, Canada, Australia, or any other English-speaking country, people with non-English names often have to anglicize them in order to fit in with the general public.
In 2004, a study found that job applicants with “white-sounding” names would get 50% more callbacks than African-American ones. Recent research from 2024 reiterated that by finding that employers favor white applicants over black ones by 24% even for entry-level positions.
A 2011 study tested this theory in Canada with Chinese, Indian, Pakistani, and even Greek names. The researchers noticed a similar trend: employer contact falls by 4.4% when the applicant’s name doesn’t sound English, even if they have the same education and experience that applicants with English-sounding names have.
Many U.S. immigrants would anglicize their names to assimilate
Image credits: pexels (not the actual photo)
Immigrants and foreigners adopting an English name has become so normalized that people often even expect it. And while I myself have many times ordered coffee under the guise of “Jenny” or a “Katy” so the barista doesn’t botch my name, being asked to do so in a professional environment can feel discriminatory.
Historically, those who immigrated to the U.S. often changed their names to the most English-sounding names to accommodate English-speakers who couldn’t pronounce them properly. They would also have a better chance at economic success: many felt that an angliziced name would appeal better to customers.
This was true to immigrants from many different countries: Eastern Europe, Italy, Asia, and even Ireland. Some research suggests that 33% of U.S. immigrants changed their names within the 10 years of their arrival.
Nowadays, people are reclaiming the power in their non-English sounding names
Image credits: unsplash (not the actual photo)
Asian immigrants often bore the brunt of the discrimination. The Chinese who immigrated into the U.S. early often faced lynching by mobs, racist ideologies like the “Yellow Peril”, and immigration bans. The Japanese were targeted also, as approximately 120k Japanese Americans were sent to concentration camps during WWII.
Catherine Ceniza Choy, a professor of Asian American and Asian diaspora studies at the University of California, Berkeley, explained to CNN that, in the 19th and the 20th century, Asians were perceived as “strange, but also inferior, dirty, uncivilized.”
“(Back then) the desire to fit in is also about surviving an overtly racist, hostile society,” she pointed out.
And, just as for immigrants from other countries, newcomers from Asia would choose to assimilate by Americanizing their names. From 1900 to 1930, 86% of boys and 93% of girls had “an American name”, according to the U.S. Census.
However, today, people recognize that demands and pressure to change one’s name are about power and control.
“When you have to disown a major aspect of your identity such as your name as a means to fit into American society, it can feel like you’re cutting off a part of yourself to the world,” a therapist who specializes in multicultural issues, Sam Louie, MA, LMHC, CSAT, writes.
“It isn’t a swear word or anything,” she clarified the meaning of her name
People thought the coworker’s demand was pretty racist and unreasonable
The support from netizens validated the woman’s feelings: “I definitely do NOT wanna cave at this point”
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Trillian 5 months ago
Your religion is your problem. I will respect your right to it but don't expect me to change anything about myself to accomodate your beliefs (excluding of course deliberately offensive behavior). I will not dress differently because your religion might take issue, I will eat whatever I want and I will certainly not change my d**n name.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 5 months ago
Not to mention that Emma and Jen are both disrespecting OP's entire culture and ethnicity by demanding she change her name or go by an "English name". And I'm sure OP used a fake name for "Emma", but I would chortle so hard if OP also responded to them by demanding that "Emma" change HER name to something more in-line with her own religion, since she's so devout. If Emma's name is "English", isn't she offending her religion by NOT having a super-Muslim name like Khadijah or Maryam? >:D
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Auntriarch 5 months ago (edited)
The reason why "loads of Asians use European names" is thoroughly racist anyway, so not a brilliant excuse. I do love the "Ms Surname" solution though.
George Costanza 5 months ago
It's not necessarily racism, it's just people trying to fit into the new country and culture they live in. If I moved to Japan or something I would probably give my kids a Japanese name so they fit in better. I moved to that culture for a reason - to join that culture. Not to try and make that culture fit me, the outsider.
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Glasofruix 5 months ago
"This means something bad/whatever in my religion" => Automatic that's a you problem, not a me problem.
Antihaarbalsnoepje 5 months ago
I guess Dutch people called Joke, Sicco, Fokke and Dik face similar issues.
nm 5 months ago
The way the Spanish surname Mun(i)oz is spelled means female genital in my language. Should we ask all Muñoz of the world to change their surnames?
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Emilu 5 months ago
This is absolutely a hill worth dying on. Emma can abide to her religion, certainly, but she can’t/shouldn’t try to get others to abide to *her* religion. That’s her problem. And lots of Asians use Euro names for their own sakes of not having to deal with “actually, it’s pronounced X…” etc, not primarily for the comfort of English-speaking people (though, sadly, Anglo names are still more likely to get a resumé looked at than not).
Lazy Panda 2 5 months ago
Calling people a name other than the one they wish to be called by is bullying and a form of power control. Doesn't matter what that name means to another person, it's the name someone wants to be known by.
Dread Pirate Roberts 5 months ago
Emma is being a major Karen and needs to get over herself. Live and let live; stop trying to control other people.
Toika Gao 5 months ago
Religious bigots are some of the most entitled people in the world. That obsession with "defending" god, or a prophet, or any other divine entity from insult or harm, as if they weren't divine enough to defend themselves. I guess this makes their worshippers feel they have a purpose in life. Poor people. Poor utterly stupid people.
Daniela Lavanza 5 months ago
Being married to a Muslim modern thinking guy, I totally agree. He often says that faith doesn’t rely on being a****oles to others even though that’s what he sadly sees far too often among his own community. Not to mention those who promote and annoy the world with non religious things they think are important because of their ignorance. This woman doesn’t know that the hijab is a backward tradition not linked to Islam, neither does she know that her religions asks her to respect others which she clearly doesn’t do. But hey, she thinks she’s a good believer so nothing you can tell her will changer her mind…people like her are the plague of the world.
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T'Mar of Vulcan 5 months ago
My boss, who's black (Tswana; we use a small letter for colour and a capital for ethnic group/tribe), feels very uncomfortable calling me by my first name because I'm 25 years older than her. She either calls me "MissB" or just "guurrrrrl" (we both say it like that because calling a black woman a 'girl' is considered a slur). Or, I call her by the diminutive of her first name which she goes by. I would NEVER call her by her English name, which she hates and calls her "apartheid name".
Auntriarch 5 months ago (edited)
I went to secondary school (eSwatini) with a boy called Peter. I only found out years later that it was given to him by his primary school, which apparently couldn't deal with Monwabisi. This was late 60s early 70s, which probably tells you all you need to know. Might be why I feel so strongly about it.
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Me. Just Me. 5 months ago
So it’s ok for someone of one culture to have to make an unwanted change to accommodate someone of a different culture?
arthbach 5 months ago
Out of the comments above, the one I like the most is for the writer and Emma to call each other by their surnames, and an honorific, eg Mr/Ms Kim and Ms Amir. Everything is on an even footing. People are behaving courteously to each other, and people are called by their own, actual names.
Sarah Belt 5 months ago
I agree that it sounds like a fair compromise that is respectful to all parties, but the way Emma and the boss handled the situation should be addressed before OP makes concessions.
Load More Replies... Beth Wheeler 5 months ago
That chick is crazy and they have a crappy manager cornering her and asking her to use a nickname. This is racist and illegal. Keep your name. I personally have always hated my real name and would have it legally changed if I could afford it.
Parmeisan 5 months ago
Yeah, in Canada the powers-that-be encourage newcomers to pick more English-y names upon arrival, and most do. I think at one point it was required but I'm told it currently isn't, just encouraged. For the most part I still feel like this is BS and us Canadians just need to learn to be more worldly. But I've spoken to several Chinese-born friends / co-workers about this topic and one of them said he would much prefer to be known by his English name amongst non-Chinese people, the reason being that we just can't pronounce it right. Apparently this is truly a thing, I've heard it from others as well, there are vowel sounds that if you don't grow up pronouncing them, you'll pretty much never learn to get it right. So he doesn't want to hear his name get constantly butchered. That's fair enough. His choice. Some others have been happy to have me try to use their real name. Many don't care either way. It boils down to people are different, and we should do what makes THEM happy.
Paul C 5 months ago
This is ridiculous - different words mean different things in different languages. You just have to cope with that. Are you saying someone can't use the diminutive of Richard because some find it smutty (d i c k)? Or go by Bob, because it sounds like bean in Hungarian (bab is the spelling, the pronunciation is close to bob)? There are a few between English and Spanish I know too. You don't ask someone to change their name because you find it a problem. I have huge trouble with some of my Indian colleagues' names, but that is my problem to figure out how to say them properly. I don't ask them to become Jack to make it easy for me.
Dirk Daring 5 months ago
I used to work with a guy whose name was Sukdiq. Not sure if I had the spelling right, but you know exactly how it was pronounced. It's a big world out there.
RAM31280 5 months ago
NTA, "Emma" trying to force you to go by a different name because it is not respectful of her religion, but them asking you to change your name is not respectful of your heritage/culture. Words from different languages can often sound similar with completely different meanings.
Nadine Debard 5 months ago
So my guess is her name is Aram, which the coworker mixes with Haram, basically not the same word nor pronunciation. And Haram can mean sacred or forbidden, not that bad.
Ahnjunwan 5 months ago (edited)
Could be, if she translates her name in english it would be " ripe fruit" then, i doubt she want to be called that 🫣 Likely areum 아름, wich means beautiful
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BrunoVI 5 months ago (edited)
What cracks me up about the British use of the term, "b*m bag" instead of the American, "f***y pack" is that "F***y" is a formerly not-so-rare women's first name in America. Would you believe that the federally managed home mortgage bank is named Fannie Mae? (Federal National Mortgage Association) Or that Jingle Bells is a children's Christmas song about a sleigh ride with a woman ( a real-life comedienne) named "F***y"?
Emilu 5 months ago (edited)
The original Enid Blighton ‘The Enchanted Faraway tree’ series featured a girl called Fänny, IIRC. And I think the guy was called Dìck? I can only assume that they were named before the connotations with the words became ‘a thing’?
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Crystalwitch60 5 months ago
That is an Emma issue !! I would love to know your name ,x I’m in uk not USA , I’m as far from religious as you can get , religion is the root of all evil imo, I being me , would turn to her n say ,ok so you demand I change my name cos YOU don’t like it , right then how about you remove your hijab cos I DONT like it , then stand back n watch her go nuke !! no they don’t bother me at all they do actually look beautiful, ,but it’s a comeback to Emma’s vile racist demand !! SOME Muslims are like this and I say some !! ,they think the world revolves around their religion,and the rest of us MUST do what they say , here in uk , they have even tried banning Christmas ffs ,plus other things , erm no !! we don’t expect you to do what we do , but the lovely ones ie most of them WOULD NEVER even think what Emma’s doing , she’s got mega mega issues , op please DO NOT give in , this very much is a hill to die on !!! 100% an Emma problem , I’m sure your name is beautiful , x
DC 4 months ago (edited)
... know what? I agree to you at times. No joke, no prep for a comeback or something, I just see this, sorta, identical to how you do. As much as I'm in favour of the freedom to have any religion people want, it's by no means a reason, let alone a valid one, to impose anything on anyone. That throat-slitting barbarianism? - Makes you an Islamist in my book. Forcing female relatives to wear any of these disuises? - Makes you an Islamist in my book. Being tolerant is one thing, and we should expect that of ourselves, but not unlimited, not in a way that overrides actual knowledge. Like the fact that a slit-open throat doesn't qualify as enjoyable, let alone justified by some blabla in an old fairy tale... And Emma ... Emma can change HER name. I had a classmate whose first name was "Negar". She was from Iran or Iraq, somewhere over there ... and some dude from my class demanded she'd have to change her name because "it's insulting to black people". The term "Neger" in german is, about, equal to "Negro" in english, and is, depending on context, either a sligtly outdated, non-judgemental designation, or a heavy insult, in recent times, more often seen as the latter. But ... but, of course, none of that became to be. Because it's stupid. As is Emma. Emma is stupid and Emma can rename whatever she likes, as long as it's not anybody else or theirs. She can rename herself, for that matter, every hour or every prayer or ... not at all ... but demanding stuff from other people needs to be justified. This isn't.
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BookFanatic 5 months ago
Not a religious issue, but I had a senior manager who insisted that she be the only employee with her name. To the point that three other employees (it was a popular name) were told upon hiring that they would need to shorten their given name, or choose a nickname. The best part is, it wasn't even her actual name. It was just the name she chose to go by.
Becca not Becky 5 months ago
The Ms. Surname compromise is acceptable. The offended coworker doesn't have to say a "bad word" and the OP doesn't have to change her name. Too bad manager and coworker weren't mature or decent enough to come up with that first.
Binny Tutera 4 months ago (edited)
I like the idea of demanding she and “Emma” switch names! See how that goes! Also, even if there is no HR, there is a “big boss”. She should be the first one to explain to the boss what’s going on and how it “looks”.
Michael Largey 5 months ago
The OP's name was fine with the company when they hired her and should be fine with them now.
Kevin Hickey 5 months ago
"My religion says that I can't do that."................OK.................."My religion says YOU can't do that."....................F##K You!
El Dee 5 months ago
There are lots of instances of this. A name in one language meaning something very different in another. If it causes problems in the language of the country you are in you would probably make a change. But. likewise, others would be well aware that your name does not actually MEAN the same as the insult..
Jerzy Janeczko 5 months ago
The business out of necessity must operate using one language. Accepting that should be a no brainer. The woman should have just made a joke about the name and went on with her life, or get a different job.
Onan Hag All 5 months ago
Tell her to go get f#cked, her belief in a particular sky fairy doesn't give her any right to demand anything.
Rebecca Donaldson 3 weeks ago
The Bible says to do nothing that may cause your brother to stumble. Even if it is addressing a religion other than yours, this should apply even more so, You can chose the higher ground and do what is right by both religions. Changing something temporarily for another's religion is being a peacemaker. It's the small things in life that catch us up. Remember to be nice about it, and use the moto of "and in your anger, do not sin." You can pooh pooh another's religion but the Bible says to respect it. It just depends on if you want to be a pushy American or whatever you are, or become a stumbling block for her. You might even become friends who knows?
Lola July 5 months ago (edited)
This gave me a chuckle. I didn't know that the name Haysus was actually Jesus! I'd never seen it written.Growing up in the PNW I didn't know any Mexicans in the 50's early 60's.I also knew a couple of Vietnamese co-workers who tried to get their sister to change her name when she was finally able to come to Seattle. In their language it's a beautiful name, in our language it is animal waste. She proudly kept her name through high-school.My point is be respectful of their culture and the name given as it means something to them. We don't get be offended or mock someone.
Laure Miller 5 months ago
I would not respond to "hey, you" or a nickname. If my given name were offensive to Emma and Jen, I would give them both permission to call me Mrs. Miller.
SkippityBoppityBoo 5 months ago
Emma can go do one off a short bridge... 👍😃.......... She's racist and I don't throw that term around easily. It's called "reverse racism". I've had weird comments, towards racist, about my own name. My first name is Hindu, second is "white" and last one is Lancashire/Yorkshire. So hey, I'm a mix 👍🙂 If you ever "demand" that I change my name? How about YOU change your dayum attitude? How's them apples Darling?
Panos Panic 5 months ago
There is a greek sure name: Kontominas (kantom-in-as) and he was a businessman I guess he made lots of people feel weird...
CP 5 months ago
Please then explain. Racism to me is hating someone over race. I don't see race, let alone hatred anywhere in the story. Could you point it out to me since I am so dumb?
Load More Replies... Trillian 5 months ago
Because you are basically saying that your culture (and the meaning the name might have there) is more important and they are the ones needing to change.
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KatSaidWhat 5 months ago
No, one is racist and the other is just trying to go about her day. It really is a hill to die on.
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Trillian 5 months ago
Your religion is your problem. I will respect your right to it but don't expect me to change anything about myself to accomodate your beliefs (excluding of course deliberately offensive behavior). I will not dress differently because your religion might take issue, I will eat whatever I want and I will certainly not change my d**n name.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 5 months ago
Not to mention that Emma and Jen are both disrespecting OP's entire culture and ethnicity by demanding she change her name or go by an "English name". And I'm sure OP used a fake name for "Emma", but I would chortle so hard if OP also responded to them by demanding that "Emma" change HER name to something more in-line with her own religion, since she's so devout. If Emma's name is "English", isn't she offending her religion by NOT having a super-Muslim name like Khadijah or Maryam? >:D
Load More Replies... Auntriarch 5 months ago (edited)
The reason why "loads of Asians use European names" is thoroughly racist anyway, so not a brilliant excuse. I do love the "Ms Surname" solution though.
George Costanza 5 months ago
It's not necessarily racism, it's just people trying to fit into the new country and culture they live in. If I moved to Japan or something I would probably give my kids a Japanese name so they fit in better. I moved to that culture for a reason - to join that culture. Not to try and make that culture fit me, the outsider.
Load More Replies... Glasofruix 5 months ago
"This means something bad/whatever in my religion" => Automatic that's a you problem, not a me problem.
Antihaarbalsnoepje 5 months ago
I guess Dutch people called Joke, Sicco, Fokke and Dik face similar issues.
nm 5 months ago
The way the Spanish surname Mun(i)oz is spelled means female genital in my language. Should we ask all Muñoz of the world to change their surnames?
Load More Replies... Emilu 5 months ago
This is absolutely a hill worth dying on. Emma can abide to her religion, certainly, but she can’t/shouldn’t try to get others to abide to *her* religion. That’s her problem. And lots of Asians use Euro names for their own sakes of not having to deal with “actually, it’s pronounced X…” etc, not primarily for the comfort of English-speaking people (though, sadly, Anglo names are still more likely to get a resumé looked at than not).
Lazy Panda 2 5 months ago
Calling people a name other than the one they wish to be called by is bullying and a form of power control. Doesn't matter what that name means to another person, it's the name someone wants to be known by.
Dread Pirate Roberts 5 months ago
Emma is being a major Karen and needs to get over herself. Live and let live; stop trying to control other people.
Toika Gao 5 months ago
Religious bigots are some of the most entitled people in the world. That obsession with "defending" god, or a prophet, or any other divine entity from insult or harm, as if they weren't divine enough to defend themselves. I guess this makes their worshippers feel they have a purpose in life. Poor people. Poor utterly stupid people.
Daniela Lavanza 5 months ago
Being married to a Muslim modern thinking guy, I totally agree. He often says that faith doesn’t rely on being a****oles to others even though that’s what he sadly sees far too often among his own community. Not to mention those who promote and annoy the world with non religious things they think are important because of their ignorance. This woman doesn’t know that the hijab is a backward tradition not linked to Islam, neither does she know that her religions asks her to respect others which she clearly doesn’t do. But hey, she thinks she’s a good believer so nothing you can tell her will changer her mind…people like her are the plague of the world.
Load More Replies... T'Mar of Vulcan 5 months ago
My boss, who's black (Tswana; we use a small letter for colour and a capital for ethnic group/tribe), feels very uncomfortable calling me by my first name because I'm 25 years older than her. She either calls me "MissB" or just "guurrrrrl" (we both say it like that because calling a black woman a 'girl' is considered a slur). Or, I call her by the diminutive of her first name which she goes by. I would NEVER call her by her English name, which she hates and calls her "apartheid name".
Auntriarch 5 months ago (edited)
I went to secondary school (eSwatini) with a boy called Peter. I only found out years later that it was given to him by his primary school, which apparently couldn't deal with Monwabisi. This was late 60s early 70s, which probably tells you all you need to know. Might be why I feel so strongly about it.
Load More Replies... Me. Just Me. 5 months ago
So it’s ok for someone of one culture to have to make an unwanted change to accommodate someone of a different culture?
arthbach 5 months ago
Out of the comments above, the one I like the most is for the writer and Emma to call each other by their surnames, and an honorific, eg Mr/Ms Kim and Ms Amir. Everything is on an even footing. People are behaving courteously to each other, and people are called by their own, actual names.
Sarah Belt 5 months ago
I agree that it sounds like a fair compromise that is respectful to all parties, but the way Emma and the boss handled the situation should be addressed before OP makes concessions.
Load More Replies... Beth Wheeler 5 months ago
That chick is crazy and they have a crappy manager cornering her and asking her to use a nickname. This is racist and illegal. Keep your name. I personally have always hated my real name and would have it legally changed if I could afford it.
Parmeisan 5 months ago
Yeah, in Canada the powers-that-be encourage newcomers to pick more English-y names upon arrival, and most do. I think at one point it was required but I'm told it currently isn't, just encouraged. For the most part I still feel like this is BS and us Canadians just need to learn to be more worldly. But I've spoken to several Chinese-born friends / co-workers about this topic and one of them said he would much prefer to be known by his English name amongst non-Chinese people, the reason being that we just can't pronounce it right. Apparently this is truly a thing, I've heard it from others as well, there are vowel sounds that if you don't grow up pronouncing them, you'll pretty much never learn to get it right. So he doesn't want to hear his name get constantly butchered. That's fair enough. His choice. Some others have been happy to have me try to use their real name. Many don't care either way. It boils down to people are different, and we should do what makes THEM happy.
Paul C 5 months ago
This is ridiculous - different words mean different things in different languages. You just have to cope with that. Are you saying someone can't use the diminutive of Richard because some find it smutty (d i c k)? Or go by Bob, because it sounds like bean in Hungarian (bab is the spelling, the pronunciation is close to bob)? There are a few between English and Spanish I know too. You don't ask someone to change their name because you find it a problem. I have huge trouble with some of my Indian colleagues' names, but that is my problem to figure out how to say them properly. I don't ask them to become Jack to make it easy for me.
Dirk Daring 5 months ago
I used to work with a guy whose name was Sukdiq. Not sure if I had the spelling right, but you know exactly how it was pronounced. It's a big world out there.
RAM31280 5 months ago
NTA, "Emma" trying to force you to go by a different name because it is not respectful of her religion, but them asking you to change your name is not respectful of your heritage/culture. Words from different languages can often sound similar with completely different meanings.
Nadine Debard 5 months ago
So my guess is her name is Aram, which the coworker mixes with Haram, basically not the same word nor pronunciation. And Haram can mean sacred or forbidden, not that bad.
Ahnjunwan 5 months ago (edited)
Could be, if she translates her name in english it would be " ripe fruit" then, i doubt she want to be called that 🫣 Likely areum 아름, wich means beautiful
Load More Replies... BrunoVI 5 months ago (edited)
What cracks me up about the British use of the term, "b*m bag" instead of the American, "f***y pack" is that "F***y" is a formerly not-so-rare women's first name in America. Would you believe that the federally managed home mortgage bank is named Fannie Mae? (Federal National Mortgage Association) Or that Jingle Bells is a children's Christmas song about a sleigh ride with a woman ( a real-life comedienne) named "F***y"?
Emilu 5 months ago (edited)
The original Enid Blighton ‘The Enchanted Faraway tree’ series featured a girl called Fänny, IIRC. And I think the guy was called Dìck? I can only assume that they were named before the connotations with the words became ‘a thing’?
Load More Replies... Crystalwitch60 5 months ago
That is an Emma issue !! I would love to know your name ,x I’m in uk not USA , I’m as far from religious as you can get , religion is the root of all evil imo, I being me , would turn to her n say ,ok so you demand I change my name cos YOU don’t like it , right then how about you remove your hijab cos I DONT like it , then stand back n watch her go nuke !! no they don’t bother me at all they do actually look beautiful, ,but it’s a comeback to Emma’s vile racist demand !! SOME Muslims are like this and I say some !! ,they think the world revolves around their religion,and the rest of us MUST do what they say , here in uk , they have even tried banning Christmas ffs ,plus other things , erm no !! we don’t expect you to do what we do , but the lovely ones ie most of them WOULD NEVER even think what Emma’s doing , she’s got mega mega issues , op please DO NOT give in , this very much is a hill to die on !!! 100% an Emma problem , I’m sure your name is beautiful , x
DC 4 months ago (edited)
... know what? I agree to you at times. No joke, no prep for a comeback or something, I just see this, sorta, identical to how you do. As much as I'm in favour of the freedom to have any religion people want, it's by no means a reason, let alone a valid one, to impose anything on anyone. That throat-slitting barbarianism? - Makes you an Islamist in my book. Forcing female relatives to wear any of these disuises? - Makes you an Islamist in my book. Being tolerant is one thing, and we should expect that of ourselves, but not unlimited, not in a way that overrides actual knowledge. Like the fact that a slit-open throat doesn't qualify as enjoyable, let alone justified by some blabla in an old fairy tale... And Emma ... Emma can change HER name. I had a classmate whose first name was "Negar". She was from Iran or Iraq, somewhere over there ... and some dude from my class demanded she'd have to change her name because "it's insulting to black people". The term "Neger" in german is, about, equal to "Negro" in english, and is, depending on context, either a sligtly outdated, non-judgemental designation, or a heavy insult, in recent times, more often seen as the latter. But ... but, of course, none of that became to be. Because it's stupid. As is Emma. Emma is stupid and Emma can rename whatever she likes, as long as it's not anybody else or theirs. She can rename herself, for that matter, every hour or every prayer or ... not at all ... but demanding stuff from other people needs to be justified. This isn't.
Load More Replies... BookFanatic 5 months ago
Not a religious issue, but I had a senior manager who insisted that she be the only employee with her name. To the point that three other employees (it was a popular name) were told upon hiring that they would need to shorten their given name, or choose a nickname. The best part is, it wasn't even her actual name. It was just the name she chose to go by.
Becca not Becky 5 months ago
The Ms. Surname compromise is acceptable. The offended coworker doesn't have to say a "bad word" and the OP doesn't have to change her name. Too bad manager and coworker weren't mature or decent enough to come up with that first.
Binny Tutera 4 months ago (edited)
I like the idea of demanding she and “Emma” switch names! See how that goes! Also, even if there is no HR, there is a “big boss”. She should be the first one to explain to the boss what’s going on and how it “looks”.
Michael Largey 5 months ago
The OP's name was fine with the company when they hired her and should be fine with them now.
Kevin Hickey 5 months ago
"My religion says that I can't do that."................OK.................."My religion says YOU can't do that."....................F##K You!
El Dee 5 months ago
There are lots of instances of this. A name in one language meaning something very different in another. If it causes problems in the language of the country you are in you would probably make a change. But. likewise, others would be well aware that your name does not actually MEAN the same as the insult..
Jerzy Janeczko 5 months ago
The business out of necessity must operate using one language. Accepting that should be a no brainer. The woman should have just made a joke about the name and went on with her life, or get a different job.
Onan Hag All 5 months ago
Tell her to go get f#cked, her belief in a particular sky fairy doesn't give her any right to demand anything.
Rebecca Donaldson 3 weeks ago
The Bible says to do nothing that may cause your brother to stumble. Even if it is addressing a religion other than yours, this should apply even more so, You can chose the higher ground and do what is right by both religions. Changing something temporarily for another's religion is being a peacemaker. It's the small things in life that catch us up. Remember to be nice about it, and use the moto of "and in your anger, do not sin." You can pooh pooh another's religion but the Bible says to respect it. It just depends on if you want to be a pushy American or whatever you are, or become a stumbling block for her. You might even become friends who knows?
Lola July 5 months ago (edited)
This gave me a chuckle. I didn't know that the name Haysus was actually Jesus! I'd never seen it written.Growing up in the PNW I didn't know any Mexicans in the 50's early 60's.I also knew a couple of Vietnamese co-workers who tried to get their sister to change her name when she was finally able to come to Seattle. In their language it's a beautiful name, in our language it is animal waste. She proudly kept her name through high-school.My point is be respectful of their culture and the name given as it means something to them. We don't get be offended or mock someone.
Laure Miller 5 months ago
I would not respond to "hey, you" or a nickname. If my given name were offensive to Emma and Jen, I would give them both permission to call me Mrs. Miller.
SkippityBoppityBoo 5 months ago
Emma can go do one off a short bridge... 👍😃.......... She's racist and I don't throw that term around easily. It's called "reverse racism". I've had weird comments, towards racist, about my own name. My first name is Hindu, second is "white" and last one is Lancashire/Yorkshire. So hey, I'm a mix 👍🙂 If you ever "demand" that I change my name? How about YOU change your dayum attitude? How's them apples Darling?
Panos Panic 5 months ago
There is a greek sure name: Kontominas (kantom-in-as) and he was a businessman I guess he made lots of people feel weird...
CP 5 months ago
Please then explain. Racism to me is hating someone over race. I don't see race, let alone hatred anywhere in the story. Could you point it out to me since I am so dumb?
Load More Replies... Trillian 5 months ago
Because you are basically saying that your culture (and the meaning the name might have there) is more important and they are the ones needing to change.
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 5 months ago
No, one is racist and the other is just trying to go about her day. It really is a hill to die on.
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