This story comes from a concerned mother of a baby girl who is wondering whether she has crossed the line. The woman who goes by the handle RealisticEnd465 shared that her daughter has a very thick unibrow. And although she finds her beautiful, other people don’t.
“I am SO tired of the comments from other people. Literally on a daily basis, people tell me I should dress her up as Frida Kahlo for Halloween, jokingly ask if she has a caterpillar on her face, tell me dad must be really hairy, etc.,” the mom explained.
Fed up with all the comments about her daughter’s appearance, RealisticEnd465 decided to it was the best decision to shave “a little separation into her brow.” This didn’t sit well with her husband, and now the two are torn apart.
A mother is wondering if she went too far by shaving her baby daughter’s unibrow after her husband got mad at her
Image credits: Ran Kyu Park (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk (not the actual photo)
Image credits: gorodenkoff (not the actual photo)
Most people have two distinct eyebrows, with a more faint patch of hair between two. However, on some people, this brow hair is much thicker, which results in the appearance of one long eyebrow known as a unibrow or monobrow.
Scientists have identified a gene that appears to influence whether or not your eyebrows meet in the middle: the PAX3 gene on chromosome 2. There is a difference in the DNA that seems to correspond with varying degrees of unibrow.
According to them, the PAX3 is the monobrow gene, which has previously been shown to control where in the face “nasion” is located – the point at the middle of two eyebrows.
Many people sided with the mother and said that she did nothing wrong
One of the authors of this research, Kaustubh Adhikari, who is a researcher in Cell and Developmental Biology, UCL, argues that “it is reasonable to see it associated with monobrow, too, which is hair covering that part.” He added that “rare mutations of PAX3 have been shown to cause Waardenburg syndrome type 1 (85% of patients with this condition have monobrow).”
“We also found that the gene PRSS53, which has also evolved to be different in East Asians, is involved in making hair either curly or straight, as verified through our extensive labwork,” Adhikari explained.
Others called the dad out for not noticing the change in his daughter for a whole month
Some people tend to be more judgmental about other people’s looks than others. In some cases, they even become bullies. To find out what exactly happens in the mind of critics, we spoke with Dr. Lise Deguire, clinical psychologist and author of a multiple award-winning book “Flashback Girl: Lessons on Resilience From a Burn Survivor.”
“In my clinical experience, the people who are most judgmental towards others are secretly the most harshly judgemental towards themselves. Inside, these people are highly self-critical. It is no wonder then that they treat others the same way they treat themselves, critically and harshly. Frequently, when these people learn to be more loving and accepting towards themselves, they also become more tolerant and sympathetic towards others,” Dr. Lise explained.
The clinical psychologist explained that people’s judgment and criticism of us feel terrible, sometimes even devastating. “When this happens, the first thing to do is to notice your own pain and distress and to treat yourself kindly. It hurts, plain and simple. Having compassion for your pain will help you bear it.”
“Once you have recovered from the hurt of being judged, it is good to remember that anyone judging you that harshly is probably in a lot of pain themselves,” Lise said and added that awareness may help you to move beyond the hurt of the moment.
Some, however, claimed that mom was in the wrong, and she may potentially harm the baby’s confidence in the future
Wtf, stand up for jerks who shame people and babies and tell them your baby is Beautiful no matter what and that they should be ashamed for even saying anything about how someone look!
I get the mother's perspective, but in the big picture, this is projecting your own insecurities on to your child. My daughter has had a large freckle on the white of her eye since she was 2. It is harmless and can be easily removed. Since it was a cosmetic feature and not a health concern, we opted to leave it alone and if she expresses that she would like it to be removed, then we will support her. We give her teachers a heads up as to what it is because it can be easily mistaken for an eye injury, as it is large and red. Kids have certainly commented, but she just tells them what it is and that's it. She is now 12 and still has not expressed any insecurities or desire to remove it. Should she later on, we will support her. But that desire will not come from any encouragement or comments from us. We don't care, as she is beautiful with or without it.
You have to understand that kids don't always tell you about their insecurities, because they are too sensitive about them to even share with their parents. I know I was. My parents had no idea how cruel kids were about a birthmark I had and only got to know about all of it when I had it removed when I started dating my husband and didn't want him to see it. Please directly ask your kids if they are happy about their birthmarks or if they rather had them removed. Might save them decades of insecurities.
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I was all set to go YTA, but Mom has a point. All these comments about the baby's unibrow will 100% be said to her on the school yard when she's older. As far back as I can remember, my super thick hair has always been what most people comment on and kids were cruel to me back then. For context, I'm white and I have never met anyone with hair thicker than mine. It sticks out, literally. "Fro-ey, Jr." "She's rough and tough with her afro puff" and comments about my race as a result of my very thick hair have always been there. I SO wished there was something I could do to make it so people would notice ME and not just my unusual hair. A unibrow is a much easier solution. Like OP said, when her daughter's old enough to decide on her unibrow, she can. That's the thing: she CAN decide about shaving her unibrow. I wish I could have decided to have normal hair, that way my self esteem would be MUCH better than it is now. I say NTA.
This one is hard for me. My niece has a unibrow and as far as I'm concerned it doesn't make her any less beautiful. None of the family does. But she is picked on at school for it. We've done our best to teach her there's nothing wrong with her and other kids are just cruel. We try and teach her that everyone is built different and that doesn't make her any less gorgeous. But it isn't as effective as we would hope. And I have no doubt that very minute she's 13 (like her mom compromised) shes going to shave it. Sometimes confidence building isn't enough. Kids can be cruel and there's nothing a little girl wants more than to fit in with her peers.
If y'all think this poor little girl won't be bullied to tears when she starts school for having a massive unibrow you're unfortunately mistaken. Kids are brutal. They will come for any flaw or insecurity you have with no remorse because they dont know better yet. Even if they do know better, it won't always stop them. I feel bad the poor woman even felt she needed to do this.
I can understand both. To me it's a lot of fuzz about some hair. It's not like she pierced the ears or anything invasive. The kid probably does not register it eitherway. If the kid knows about appearance I would not interfer but as long as they don't I see no issue.
Maybe instead of shaving her unibrow, tell anyone who comments "My baby is healthy, accepted, and loved. She's also just a baby/toddler/little girl. Why do think it's appropriate to judge her based on artificial standards of beauty, and why do you find it necessary to comment about it in a way that is hurtful?" Address the problem, which is other people, not a baby having a unibrow. When she's old enough that her peers notice and someone bullies her about it, that's the time to talk to her about the fact that she is beautiful just the way she is, and that some people look for things they can be mean about. Offer her some strategies for dealing with it. "Frieda Kahlo had a unibrow, and she's a style icon!" "My unibrow is less ugly than your ugly soul, and I can shave it." "So what? You have a green shirt! Are we done stating the obvious now? Do you want to play on the swings?" Ask if she wants to shave it then, or if she wants to keep it.
Or, instead of all this, you could just make a little hair go away, the way the vast majority of women do when we shave our legs before wearing shorts. You're so proud up there on your high horse, but as someone who has been badly bullied in the past, if you don't have to set the child up for that on day one of meeting other children, don't. Bullying doesn't build people up. It breaks people. There's no guarantee that a bullied person will ever actually recover, much less be stronger for it.
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NTA. Frida Kahlo was beautiful and so is your baby. Hair grows back.
Honestly, shaving your baby's /anything/ because /you're/ sick of comments, seems like logic faliure to me. At this point in time there is no need for that, baby won't care. If anything, you need yo educate the people that make comments that everyone comments on it, and it's inappropriate to do so, baby is born the way she is, and babies do not need to improve their looks.
It's a BABY. Yta. That's weird. Anybody who makes comments on a babies physical appearance that aren't saying that they're the cutest darn thing in the world (even if they look like a prune) is ALSO weird
My baby girl didn't have much hair when she was born; it was wispy and blonde. People would constantly mistake her for a boy. Should I have bought her a wig? Shaving the baby to conform with your idea of beauty standards is mental, tbh. Why don't you stand up for your child instead by reacting appropriately to others' stupid comments?
Agreed. My daughter also has bright blonde hair. Now at 2,5 years old it's long enough to tie it in a short ponytail. But it literally started growing when she was over one. That, plus lots of boys clothes from older cousins, she was mistaken for a boy quite a lot. Once even a stranger yelled at me that I'm forcing my child to be trans, lol.
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The mother should have left the unibrow. I think the mom has her own insecurities thats why she did it. It starts with a unibrow and where does it end? The girl will have body issues her whole life
She's a girl. She's gonna have body issues her whole life anyway, it's part of being a girl. Leaving the obvious physical difference in place so she can get picked on for it before she even starts school-by adults-isn't going to improve anything.
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The beauty of babies is, well, debatable. But 'enhancing' the beauty by shaving whatever on babies is downright ridiculous. If one feels the need to beautify a baby with a razor maybe one is not ready to have babies
I see your point, but I have to respectfully disagree. Mom wasn't worried about the unibrow until literally everyone pointed it out. She just wants people to see her child, not her child's unibrow like everyone seems to. Plus, it's not like she's piercing her daughter's ears as an infant or anything else like that. Chances are, she doesn't want to feel like she has to shave her daughter's unibrow, but the unrelenting comments have made her feel compelled to do so. She IS trying to look out for her daughter and is probably tired of defending the unibrow and I don't really blame her.
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I would agree with the father. It could give many issues to the girl. Frida Kahlo is beautiful with her unibrow. Why shaving a baby? Just put stupid commenters in place instead. I feel the mother projects her own insecurities on the baby.
that in fact is a matter of opinion. I for example don't agree and obviously so doesn't the mother.
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I feel like if you don't have a parent like this you will not understand, so it makes sense that some people aren't seeing this, but the dad is right about the image issues. Even if the mom doesn't try to actively shame the kid, if she doesn't like the unibrow it will come out if shes not being extremely careful. Also keep in mind that telling kids about things that are "wrong" with them even just to protect then from other people is still harmful. For example I love my mom and I think she did an great job raising me, but when I was a kid I definitely gained some insecurities because of the things she said. It was never like "I think that thing about you weird/bad/whatever" it was like "oh! are you planning on changing that thing soon?" and I would be like ??? I didnt consider that something I needed to change but now I am thinking about it. And enough of that and now you have a solid insecurity. Just keep in mind those little comments aren't going anywhere when this kid gets older.
My mother told me my back was fat and I wasn't attractive. Shave the brow.
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I face a similar issue with my baby girl who has a birthmark right beside her eye. It’s small, but large enough to be noticeable. Many people have asked me about it or made comments that it makes her unique, special…whatever. I just usually just shut them down by saying “well she was born that way and it’s up to her if she wants to keep it or not.” Unfortunately I can’t control all the new people asking about it, but when I remind them it isn’t in either of our control they shut up
the person arguing about brushing hair & putting on clothes is an idiot. clothes protect us from the elements, whether it's sunburn in the summer, water when it's raining, or cold in the winter. clothes aren't just an aesthetic choice, they're necessary to keep a baby happy, healthy, & safe in different kinds of weather. as for brushing hair, that isn't just about appearance either. it gets rid of dirt & insects such as fleas, ticks, or lice that haven't made their way to the scalp yet, so it's important to keep hair brushed to make sure these pests don't make a baby sick. shaving a baby's unibrow, however, is a 100% cosmetic decision that just isn't necessary. the mother is incredibly selfish for changing her daughter's appearance for her own convenience. if your own mother chose to "fix" how you looked instead of setting a good example by not letting rude comments bother her, wouldn't you feel insecure in your body once you found out?
Wow, so basically the mother prefers shaving her baby’s brows than calling people out for their BS and setting boundaries? Is she really people pleasing instead of protecting her daughter for real?? This is so upsetting!! Makes me mad!! She’s the AH period
I don’t think she should be shaving a baby’s anything. Leave the kid alone.
When she's a baby it doesn't matter at all, it's iffy when she's older. The mom wanted to make sure people saw *the baby* instead of a unibrow. It's not like she's waxing her lil face. Bullying from other children will be worse for her, as a small child. It takes two seconds to shave it, and when she's older she can decide what to do with her face and body.
NTA! I have a uni brow that people always comment on and I pluck excessively. One of my biggest insecurities and it's good of you to prevent your child from having to feel that.
She should have discussed it with her partner first, he has a right to every decision made regarding THEIR child. I'm just picturing the child grown up and looking at her baby pictures and wondering why her mother didn't think she was beautiful in her natural state. I side with the father. Strongly.
I mean, she's technically saving her child from being bullied, but I see the YTA's argument reasonable as well. And OP is going to let her daughter make her own choice to keep her uni or shave it once she gets older, so everyone has nothing to worry about. But OP's daughter will always be beautiful with or without uni.
My personal opinion: this is a baby, she cares about food, entertainment, sleeping, and bodily functions. You are projecting your insecurities on your own child. Yes it may be something she chooses to deal with on her own later or leave it as is. The biggest issue here Mrs. Mom is that shaving hair on the body only encourages it to grow back thicker, fuller, and longer. You are making the situation worse for your daughter not better. Later on when the middle hair may have just turned to peach fuzz or just faint. So yes you are making the future situation worse with every stroak of that razor. Please stop fighting over this situation. You are both being a h's to each other and your own baby. If you keep shaving it 100% garunteed to make the situation worse for your daughter later in life. Mr. Dad, try to be more involved with your home life. Do not turn into that guy who supports his family but stays in the background. Reconcile and admit you are both on the wrong path. 😞
Except you aren't giving her much of a choice. By shaving it you may cause it to come back even thicker. What are you going to do when she is a toddler. It's hard enough trying to brush their teeth, leaving out shaving their faces.
Shaving does not cause hair to grow back thicker. There have been multiple studies done on this. It might look a little thicker because the fine end has been taken off, but that's it.
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Wtf, stand up for jerks who shame people and babies and tell them your baby is Beautiful no matter what and that they should be ashamed for even saying anything about how someone look!
I get the mother's perspective, but in the big picture, this is projecting your own insecurities on to your child. My daughter has had a large freckle on the white of her eye since she was 2. It is harmless and can be easily removed. Since it was a cosmetic feature and not a health concern, we opted to leave it alone and if she expresses that she would like it to be removed, then we will support her. We give her teachers a heads up as to what it is because it can be easily mistaken for an eye injury, as it is large and red. Kids have certainly commented, but she just tells them what it is and that's it. She is now 12 and still has not expressed any insecurities or desire to remove it. Should she later on, we will support her. But that desire will not come from any encouragement or comments from us. We don't care, as she is beautiful with or without it.
You have to understand that kids don't always tell you about their insecurities, because they are too sensitive about them to even share with their parents. I know I was. My parents had no idea how cruel kids were about a birthmark I had and only got to know about all of it when I had it removed when I started dating my husband and didn't want him to see it. Please directly ask your kids if they are happy about their birthmarks or if they rather had them removed. Might save them decades of insecurities.
Load More Replies... I was all set to go YTA, but Mom has a point. All these comments about the baby's unibrow will 100% be said to her on the school yard when she's older. As far back as I can remember, my super thick hair has always been what most people comment on and kids were cruel to me back then. For context, I'm white and I have never met anyone with hair thicker than mine. It sticks out, literally. "Fro-ey, Jr." "She's rough and tough with her afro puff" and comments about my race as a result of my very thick hair have always been there. I SO wished there was something I could do to make it so people would notice ME and not just my unusual hair. A unibrow is a much easier solution. Like OP said, when her daughter's old enough to decide on her unibrow, she can. That's the thing: she CAN decide about shaving her unibrow. I wish I could have decided to have normal hair, that way my self esteem would be MUCH better than it is now. I say NTA.
This one is hard for me. My niece has a unibrow and as far as I'm concerned it doesn't make her any less beautiful. None of the family does. But she is picked on at school for it. We've done our best to teach her there's nothing wrong with her and other kids are just cruel. We try and teach her that everyone is built different and that doesn't make her any less gorgeous. But it isn't as effective as we would hope. And I have no doubt that very minute she's 13 (like her mom compromised) shes going to shave it. Sometimes confidence building isn't enough. Kids can be cruel and there's nothing a little girl wants more than to fit in with her peers.
If y'all think this poor little girl won't be bullied to tears when she starts school for having a massive unibrow you're unfortunately mistaken. Kids are brutal. They will come for any flaw or insecurity you have with no remorse because they dont know better yet. Even if they do know better, it won't always stop them. I feel bad the poor woman even felt she needed to do this.
I can understand both. To me it's a lot of fuzz about some hair. It's not like she pierced the ears or anything invasive. The kid probably does not register it eitherway. If the kid knows about appearance I would not interfer but as long as they don't I see no issue.
Maybe instead of shaving her unibrow, tell anyone who comments "My baby is healthy, accepted, and loved. She's also just a baby/toddler/little girl. Why do think it's appropriate to judge her based on artificial standards of beauty, and why do you find it necessary to comment about it in a way that is hurtful?" Address the problem, which is other people, not a baby having a unibrow. When she's old enough that her peers notice and someone bullies her about it, that's the time to talk to her about the fact that she is beautiful just the way she is, and that some people look for things they can be mean about. Offer her some strategies for dealing with it. "Frieda Kahlo had a unibrow, and she's a style icon!" "My unibrow is less ugly than your ugly soul, and I can shave it." "So what? You have a green shirt! Are we done stating the obvious now? Do you want to play on the swings?" Ask if she wants to shave it then, or if she wants to keep it.
Or, instead of all this, you could just make a little hair go away, the way the vast majority of women do when we shave our legs before wearing shorts. You're so proud up there on your high horse, but as someone who has been badly bullied in the past, if you don't have to set the child up for that on day one of meeting other children, don't. Bullying doesn't build people up. It breaks people. There's no guarantee that a bullied person will ever actually recover, much less be stronger for it.
Load More Replies... NTA. Frida Kahlo was beautiful and so is your baby. Hair grows back.
Honestly, shaving your baby's /anything/ because /you're/ sick of comments, seems like logic faliure to me. At this point in time there is no need for that, baby won't care. If anything, you need yo educate the people that make comments that everyone comments on it, and it's inappropriate to do so, baby is born the way she is, and babies do not need to improve their looks.
It's a BABY. Yta. That's weird. Anybody who makes comments on a babies physical appearance that aren't saying that they're the cutest darn thing in the world (even if they look like a prune) is ALSO weird
My baby girl didn't have much hair when she was born; it was wispy and blonde. People would constantly mistake her for a boy. Should I have bought her a wig? Shaving the baby to conform with your idea of beauty standards is mental, tbh. Why don't you stand up for your child instead by reacting appropriately to others' stupid comments?
Agreed. My daughter also has bright blonde hair. Now at 2,5 years old it's long enough to tie it in a short ponytail. But it literally started growing when she was over one. That, plus lots of boys clothes from older cousins, she was mistaken for a boy quite a lot. Once even a stranger yelled at me that I'm forcing my child to be trans, lol.
Load More Replies... The mother should have left the unibrow. I think the mom has her own insecurities thats why she did it. It starts with a unibrow and where does it end? The girl will have body issues her whole life
She's a girl. She's gonna have body issues her whole life anyway, it's part of being a girl. Leaving the obvious physical difference in place so she can get picked on for it before she even starts school-by adults-isn't going to improve anything.
Load More Replies... The beauty of babies is, well, debatable. But 'enhancing' the beauty by shaving whatever on babies is downright ridiculous. If one feels the need to beautify a baby with a razor maybe one is not ready to have babies
I see your point, but I have to respectfully disagree. Mom wasn't worried about the unibrow until literally everyone pointed it out. She just wants people to see her child, not her child's unibrow like everyone seems to. Plus, it's not like she's piercing her daughter's ears as an infant or anything else like that. Chances are, she doesn't want to feel like she has to shave her daughter's unibrow, but the unrelenting comments have made her feel compelled to do so. She IS trying to look out for her daughter and is probably tired of defending the unibrow and I don't really blame her.
Load More Replies... I would agree with the father. It could give many issues to the girl. Frida Kahlo is beautiful with her unibrow. Why shaving a baby? Just put stupid commenters in place instead. I feel the mother projects her own insecurities on the baby.
that in fact is a matter of opinion. I for example don't agree and obviously so doesn't the mother.
Load More Replies... I feel like if you don't have a parent like this you will not understand, so it makes sense that some people aren't seeing this, but the dad is right about the image issues. Even if the mom doesn't try to actively shame the kid, if she doesn't like the unibrow it will come out if shes not being extremely careful. Also keep in mind that telling kids about things that are "wrong" with them even just to protect then from other people is still harmful. For example I love my mom and I think she did an great job raising me, but when I was a kid I definitely gained some insecurities because of the things she said. It was never like "I think that thing about you weird/bad/whatever" it was like "oh! are you planning on changing that thing soon?" and I would be like ??? I didnt consider that something I needed to change but now I am thinking about it. And enough of that and now you have a solid insecurity. Just keep in mind those little comments aren't going anywhere when this kid gets older.
My mother told me my back was fat and I wasn't attractive. Shave the brow.
Load More Replies... I face a similar issue with my baby girl who has a birthmark right beside her eye. It’s small, but large enough to be noticeable. Many people have asked me about it or made comments that it makes her unique, special…whatever. I just usually just shut them down by saying “well she was born that way and it’s up to her if she wants to keep it or not.” Unfortunately I can’t control all the new people asking about it, but when I remind them it isn’t in either of our control they shut up
the person arguing about brushing hair & putting on clothes is an idiot. clothes protect us from the elements, whether it's sunburn in the summer, water when it's raining, or cold in the winter. clothes aren't just an aesthetic choice, they're necessary to keep a baby happy, healthy, & safe in different kinds of weather. as for brushing hair, that isn't just about appearance either. it gets rid of dirt & insects such as fleas, ticks, or lice that haven't made their way to the scalp yet, so it's important to keep hair brushed to make sure these pests don't make a baby sick. shaving a baby's unibrow, however, is a 100% cosmetic decision that just isn't necessary. the mother is incredibly selfish for changing her daughter's appearance for her own convenience. if your own mother chose to "fix" how you looked instead of setting a good example by not letting rude comments bother her, wouldn't you feel insecure in your body once you found out?
Wow, so basically the mother prefers shaving her baby’s brows than calling people out for their BS and setting boundaries? Is she really people pleasing instead of protecting her daughter for real?? This is so upsetting!! Makes me mad!! She’s the AH period
I don’t think she should be shaving a baby’s anything. Leave the kid alone.
When she's a baby it doesn't matter at all, it's iffy when she's older. The mom wanted to make sure people saw *the baby* instead of a unibrow. It's not like she's waxing her lil face. Bullying from other children will be worse for her, as a small child. It takes two seconds to shave it, and when she's older she can decide what to do with her face and body.
NTA! I have a uni brow that people always comment on and I pluck excessively. One of my biggest insecurities and it's good of you to prevent your child from having to feel that.
She should have discussed it with her partner first, he has a right to every decision made regarding THEIR child. I'm just picturing the child grown up and looking at her baby pictures and wondering why her mother didn't think she was beautiful in her natural state. I side with the father. Strongly.
I mean, she's technically saving her child from being bullied, but I see the YTA's argument reasonable as well. And OP is going to let her daughter make her own choice to keep her uni or shave it once she gets older, so everyone has nothing to worry about. But OP's daughter will always be beautiful with or without uni.
My personal opinion: this is a baby, she cares about food, entertainment, sleeping, and bodily functions. You are projecting your insecurities on your own child. Yes it may be something she chooses to deal with on her own later or leave it as is. The biggest issue here Mrs. Mom is that shaving hair on the body only encourages it to grow back thicker, fuller, and longer. You are making the situation worse for your daughter not better. Later on when the middle hair may have just turned to peach fuzz or just faint. So yes you are making the future situation worse with every stroak of that razor. Please stop fighting over this situation. You are both being a h's to each other and your own baby. If you keep shaving it 100% garunteed to make the situation worse for your daughter later in life. Mr. Dad, try to be more involved with your home life. Do not turn into that guy who supports his family but stays in the background. Reconcile and admit you are both on the wrong path. 😞
Except you aren't giving her much of a choice. By shaving it you may cause it to come back even thicker. What are you going to do when she is a toddler. It's hard enough trying to brush their teeth, leaving out shaving their faces.
Shaving does not cause hair to grow back thicker. There have been multiple studies done on this. It might look a little thicker because the fine end has been taken off, but that's it.
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