“AITA For Banning My SIL From Babysitting After She Put Breastmilk In My Child’s Ears”
Interview With AuthorA mom normally can trust another mom to babysit for a short period. Indeed, there is probably no one better than a fellow mother to look after your kids. Unfortunately, some folks have rather unorthodox ideas about everything from bedtime to “natural” remedies.
A mother wondered if she was wrong for banning her SIL from the house after she put her breast milk in OP’s kids’ ear in an attempt to help with an infection. You read that right. Readers were in disagreement about everything from the severity to the SIL’s “medicine” and to OP’s reaction when she learned what happened. We also got in touch with SILbabysit to learn a bit more.
A trusted family member who is also a mother might be the dream scenario for babysitting
Image credits: Towfiqu barbhuiya (not the actual photo)
But one woman was shocked to find out her SIL was putting her breast milk in her kid’s ears
Image credits: Burst (not the actual photo)
Image credits: SILbabysit
There is no evidence to suggest that breast milk helps in any way when poured into an ear
Bored Panda got in touch with SILbabysit who made the post and she was kind enough to answer a few of our questions. We wanted to know if there was any follow-up to this situation. “My SIL started an argument with me over this at Thanksgiving. Rose and I ended up leaving early because of her,” she shared with Bored Panda. “I agree with the NTA vote,” she added, indicating that she still wasn’t convinced by this “remedy.” At the same time, the SIL wasn’t the only person who believed in this method. “My mom recommended it when Rose started getting ear infections,” SILbabysit added when we asked about the concept in general.
To get the elephant in the room out of the way first, there is no evidence to support the idea that breast milk directly in the ear can and will help treat an infection. While breast milk has some antibodies that do help the baby deal with infections, we don’t normally apply these sorts of things directly to the area in question.
Furthermore, if this folk remedy worked as well as some people seem to believe it does, why would we not use it on adults? This is a purely academic question, seeing as just this idea might make some folks deeply uncomfortable. However, medical treatments tend to be worth their weight in gold, so the lack of a mass market for breast milk-as-ear-treatment is enough of an indicator that it simply does not work.
If anything, the effects will be the exact opposite. Breast milk has a lot of fat and sugar, a fantastic diet for bacteria, and is the last thing you want to be stuck in one’s ear. For this reason, OP was perhaps justified in her anger since her SIL’s idea wasn’t just misguided, it was potentially harmful.
Image credits: Jaye Haych (not the actual photo)
Ear infections are common among children and can be serious in some situations
While we don’t know the age of OP’s children, ear infections in kids can be serious enough to warrant antibiotics. While this isn’t commonly needed, children are more susceptible to ear infections in general, so creating an ear buffet for bacteria is the last thing any reasonable adult should do.
It is, of course, possible that the SIL has gotten mixed up along the way. Doctors do recommend breastfeeding sick children (when feasible) and perhaps the SIL got this part of the instructions mixed up. That being said, even with good intentions, she should have still asked OP about it. In the age of messenger apps, phones, and texting, it’s easier than ever to get a hold of someone quickly.
In fact, breast milk in certain parts of the body is already risky enough. One study found that even breastfeeding a child who is lying down carries risks, for example, the milk can get into the eustachian tube, which connects the nose to the, surprise surprise, ear. This has a measurable increase in the risk of infection for the child. SO ultimately, OP’s anger is justified, as the SIL was putting the child through an unnecessary risk.
Image credits: Towfiqu barbhuiya (not the actual photo)
Naturally, some readers really needed more details
Most thought OP was NTA
Some medical professionals also chimed in
A few thought OP’s reaction was too much
A few readers thought both parties were wrong, the SIL for her “help” and OP for her reaction
Explore more of these tags
NTA that is f*****g gross and best and dangerous at worst. Breast milk like all milk spoils and goes bad, which is the act of bacteria growing in the milk. If you put milk into someones 98 degree ear bacteria is going to grow and fester and GIVE YOU AN EAR INFECTION. This person absolutely is not the a*****e. You morons just don't know what is and isn't healthy.
When I was a child in the 80's my father would soak a swab of cotton in moonshine and put it in my ear. Worked like a charm.
Nearly 100% alcohol, it's practically an antiseptic. Still wouldn't do it unless there is no other viable option though aka. 1000 miles from the nearest medical help.
Load More Replies...The fact that ANYONE had the gall to accuse this mother of being the AH is deeply, deeply concerning to me. Some people should not be allowed to reproduce 💀
NTA. Breast milk is still a bodily fluid, still capable of transmitting disease, and you don't go squirting it in somebody ELSE'S kid's ear. Gross. SIL crossed so many lines, I'm surprised OP hasn't cut her off completely.
It was definitely wrong of her SIL to do that. But going off on her that way is still wrong too. She should behave like an adult and just tell her SIL that it's not okay and not to do it ever again. Yes, those old remedies are useless at best and harmful at worst. Food does not go into ears. It's not medicine. Even if it might have useful properties, it still has lots of ingredients that can harm the ear and you would never put in a babies ear. There's sugar in it that can enhance bacterial growth, there's fat in it that can go bad etc. Just don't do it! But still, obviously SIL wasn't aware of this and was taught it's beneficial. So there was no malice or bad intent. This for, screaming at her or treating her like a criminal who'd do it again was unwarranted. OP should have told her never to do it again calmly. Then decide on her reaction to that if she could be trusted again. If she had apologized and said she'll never do it again in a respectful way, then that's okay.
I'm not sure which point you are trying to prove, Debby. This says breastfed babies get less infections by taking in milk internally. It doesn't suggest anywhere in the article to squirt breast milk in ears. Breastfed babies have less infections because they ingest antibodies. Also the physical make up of a breast vs a bottle means that babies that are nursed gulp less air which also helps to prevent infections.
Load More Replies...Oh please. It does not help at all. Think about a cup of breast milk on a table---Google tells me it would take about four hours to go off. Now think about breast milk in a warm ear that is already infected, just sitting in there for several hours. It's disgusting and dangerous.
Load More Replies...NTA that is f*****g gross and best and dangerous at worst. Breast milk like all milk spoils and goes bad, which is the act of bacteria growing in the milk. If you put milk into someones 98 degree ear bacteria is going to grow and fester and GIVE YOU AN EAR INFECTION. This person absolutely is not the a*****e. You morons just don't know what is and isn't healthy.
When I was a child in the 80's my father would soak a swab of cotton in moonshine and put it in my ear. Worked like a charm.
Nearly 100% alcohol, it's practically an antiseptic. Still wouldn't do it unless there is no other viable option though aka. 1000 miles from the nearest medical help.
Load More Replies...The fact that ANYONE had the gall to accuse this mother of being the AH is deeply, deeply concerning to me. Some people should not be allowed to reproduce 💀
NTA. Breast milk is still a bodily fluid, still capable of transmitting disease, and you don't go squirting it in somebody ELSE'S kid's ear. Gross. SIL crossed so many lines, I'm surprised OP hasn't cut her off completely.
It was definitely wrong of her SIL to do that. But going off on her that way is still wrong too. She should behave like an adult and just tell her SIL that it's not okay and not to do it ever again. Yes, those old remedies are useless at best and harmful at worst. Food does not go into ears. It's not medicine. Even if it might have useful properties, it still has lots of ingredients that can harm the ear and you would never put in a babies ear. There's sugar in it that can enhance bacterial growth, there's fat in it that can go bad etc. Just don't do it! But still, obviously SIL wasn't aware of this and was taught it's beneficial. So there was no malice or bad intent. This for, screaming at her or treating her like a criminal who'd do it again was unwarranted. OP should have told her never to do it again calmly. Then decide on her reaction to that if she could be trusted again. If she had apologized and said she'll never do it again in a respectful way, then that's okay.
I'm not sure which point you are trying to prove, Debby. This says breastfed babies get less infections by taking in milk internally. It doesn't suggest anywhere in the article to squirt breast milk in ears. Breastfed babies have less infections because they ingest antibodies. Also the physical make up of a breast vs a bottle means that babies that are nursed gulp less air which also helps to prevent infections.
Load More Replies...Oh please. It does not help at all. Think about a cup of breast milk on a table---Google tells me it would take about four hours to go off. Now think about breast milk in a warm ear that is already infected, just sitting in there for several hours. It's disgusting and dangerous.
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