35 People Who Asked Such Uncomfortable Questions About Pregnancy, Women Just Had To Share Them In This Thread
Pregnancy can be, and often is, one of the most exciting and demanding periods in a woman’s life. It’s an incredibly puzzling time when they are regularly bombarded by morning sickness, mood swings, and hormonal cravings for pickles and ice cream at 3 AM in the morning. On top of that, they witness firsthand how quickly their relatives, coworkers, and even complete strangers forget how to treat them as ordinary human beings.
You see, the bigger the belly bump gets, the more insulting questions, body commentary, and unsolicited advice come their way. So user Kbasa12 decided to reach out to the women of Ask Reddit and find out about the most inappropriate things people have ever asked about their pregnancy.
Many expectant moms were quick to air their grievances and share how many times they've heard "I bet it’s twins" or "you couldn't possibly get any bigger!" So get ready to read how out-of-touch people can be because we at Bored Panda have collected some of the most surprising stories from the thread. Continue scrolling and if you have anything similar to share, be sure to tell us about it in the comments!
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At 7 months pregnant, my wife was in a grocery store, when a woman we do not know walked up, placed her hand on my wife's baby bump and said, "How precious, you feel like about 7 months pregnant."
My wife cannot stand being touched, unbidden, by strangers.
So she smiled, grabbed the woman's boob and replied, "You feel like about a B cup."
And they parted ways without another word, "B Cup" standing there aghast and stammering. I love my wife.
I have some disabilities (I can't walk without a stick or crutch), but lead as normal a life as possible. I'm currently 36 weeks pregnant, so it's pretty obvious, but as soon as I started to show I have been asked more than once whether someone 'like me' should be having a baby (None of my issues are hereditary, we made sure of that before conceiving).
I've been questioned about if I'm taking any medication, then told I'm going to give birth to a crippled/deformed monster as I'm still on some (as soon as I conceived I saw my doctor and stopped any meds that would cause issues).
I've also had people express surprise that I'm capable of sex, or that my husband wanted it with me.
This is awful. I'm so sad for this woman that people tried to turn something beautiful into something horrible for her. So rude and inconsiderate.
Most people would never ask someone intrusive questions about their health situation or touch them without permission. But pregnancy seems to be an exception because fielding invasive remarks and uninvited opinions is almost inevitable when you're expecting. While raising nosy questions could be understandable due to our curious nature as human beings, they sometimes cross the line from being pleasant to downright judgmental.
To find out why some people feel the right to announce inappropriate remarks and how best to handle them, we reached out to Melinda Delisle, a clinical nutritionist, researcher, and healthy pregnancy coach for pregnant people who want to feel confident in their decisions. She is also the founder of the Confident Pregnancy website where she guides expectant parents on the best actions for their pregnancy.
My SIL texted my husband out of the blue asking if I was pregnant. I was only 8 weeks and my husband and I agreed that we weren’t going to tell anybody until I was out of my first trimester, so this put him in an awkward position. He decided to go ahead and tell her the truth because he didn’t want to lie to her. Meanwhile, I was furious because now this was no longer just between my husband and I, and I was angry because she was so incredibly nosy.
This all happened while I was at work. When I get home, my husband tells me the rest of the story. Now, my SIL works at a local bank, which I happened to have an account at. While she was at work, she decided to look up my account to see if I had changed my last name to my husband’s yet (we were recently married). While she was on my account she looked at what I had recently purchased and saw a bunch of baby related purchases. THIS is why she asked him out of nowhere. I. AM. FURIOUS.
My husband and I were both incredibly angry with her, and she didn’t understand why because she “didn’t do it on purpose.” Are you kidding me? Needless to say, I stopped using the account closed it immediately.
She also felt the need to ask him if we knew I was pregnant before we got married, and if that was why we got married.
Seriously. The AUDACITY of this woman to invade my privacy like that and think she did nothing wrong!
I'm the father, but my wife had two miscarriages in a row. In the mean time, many friends had babies. We would always get comments like "when are you going to have kids?" Or, "it's so easy, we got pregnant the first month we stopped birth control". Thankfully we now have a healthy baby boy, but I learned never to question young couples (or anyone for that matter). You never know if people are having difficulties or what they are going through.
I'd question what kind of 'friends' they are, if they knew you'd miscarried two pregnancies and continued to ask you about having future children....Insensitive would be an understatement.
Delisle told Bored Panda there could be multiple reasons people raise these uncomfortable and even rude questions. First, some genuinely believe they could help with their beneficial knowledge but lack the understanding that pregnant people deserve just as much respect and autonomy as anyone else, she argued.
"I am rather ashamed to admit that I used to be in that camp. When I was a young childbirth educator and doula in my 20s, I thought that every pregnant belly was an invitation to share — or at least offer to share — my expertise. Fortunately, I eventually realized that I was very out of line," Delisle revealed.
Not the pregnant one, but when my sister was pregnant with my niece someone asked her what position she had sex in and then said that the position would decide the gender of the child. When my sister refused to answer them they decided to get angry and shout that they hoped it was stillborn. Before this my sister had had 4 miscarriages. She was heartbroken and so angry.
Some people are seriously f****d in the head. Hoping for someone to have a stillborn is just sick and twisted.
Not me, nor anyone I’ve known, but I was listening to the radio one day and the hosts were talking about how they overheard these old ladies talking about a pregnant woman behind her back. They were saying sh*t like, “Ugh, look at how big she is. Back in our day, we would try to hide it, not show it to the world.”
These old ladies were fat shaming a pregnant woman. How f*cked up is that.
Well back in "their day" women were still probably wearing pregnancy corsets. Horrific as it sounds, they really were a thing, like the training corsets for prepubescent girls.
The clinical nutritionist explained that curiosity also plays a role simply because pregnancy is a different experience for some individuals out there, "and many people just don’t know how to deal with it and want to know more."
Another reason could be feelings of discomfort and fear. "Depending on someone’s own beliefs about pregnancy, they may be uncomfortable or have negative associations or even personal trauma that gets triggered around the idea of pregnancy and birth," she said and mentioned this could lead to saying things we would usually not say.
Not while I was pregnant, but our son was only a few months old when I started getting asked, "so when are you having baby number two?" People would react so strangely when either my husband or I would say we weren't having anymore kids... Either we'd get, "but you have to give him [our son] a little brother!" or they'd be dismissive, "oh you'll have another one eventually, just give it time." The worst was when people I didn't even know that well (or at all) would demand to know why not. It's not a conversation I really wanted to have with complete strangers, I didn't want to have to tell them I almost died to have the child we do have, and would be putting my life at a huge risk if we tried to have a second. Besides, that's not something you should go around asking people anyways... for all they know I could have had multiple miscarriages and our son was a miracle IVF baby (that's not what happened, but for all they knew, it could have been.) A conversation like that could have been very upsetting for a couple struggling with fertility issues, and it's definitely too personal to discuss with someone you barely know.
Meet someone, when are you getting married? Get married, when are you having children? Have a child, when are you having a sibling for the first? Years pass, when are they going to make you a granny? Please for the love of sanity MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!
I was talking about morning sickness with someone at work and I mentioned that I hadn't had any yet. Well, that person said, 'My sister's doctor said morning sickness is a good sign. Since you haven't had it, your baby will probably be deformed
My husband moaning at me because pregnancy hormones made my skin breakout in acne. He told me to see a doctor who said "This is caused by pregnancy. He's your husband, it's his baby and he should be more understanding." Honestly, he showed his true colours once I was married to him and pregnant.
Aw, did diddums have to look at a spotty face? Boo-hoo. What about the poor woman having acne? It can hurt you twatnozzle. Though the doctor is right about the husband you can still get topical treatments to ease things, so I hope she didn't come away empty handed. Acne can scar.
As you’re reading through these stories, it may be hard to believe how entitled some people are about blatantly sharing their unsolicited opinions. "I honestly believe that most people either don’t realize the questions or comments are inappropriate, are acting out of their own emotional triggers or discomfort, or think that they are being helpful," Delisle said and added this still does not change the fact that it is disrespectful and puts the pregnant person in a very uncomfortable situation.
"No matter what the reason is for people asking these kinds of questions (or even the dreaded question/action of touching someone’s pregnant belly), it can evoke … anxiety, nervousness, fear, frustration, irritation, and even anger," she added. So even when the things people voice aloud might be helpful, it can make pregnant people feel uneasy or even obliged to listen to their observations.
This isn't really about my pregnancy but I thought it was relevant. I was like 8 months pregnant and wearing a old t shirt that said "today is a good day to leave me alone". Some old bitty came up to me and told me I shouldn't be allowed to wear that shirt while in my condition. Besides that I didn't have any weird experiences
I think that is a perfectly good time to wear that shirt lol. Especially at 8 months when your sore, tired, uncomfortable etc and just want to be left alone.
After we lost our first baby in the first trimester we ended up having a d&c done. The procedure failed and I was left bleeding badly for almost 3 months. My doctor either didn't believe me or thought that things would get better on their own. I don't know why I didn't just go find another doctor. I was depressed and already so defeated but I did keep calling their office and complaining. Finally they sent me in for an ultrasound. The tech just says, "Wow. There's a lot of stuff in there!" Like ya, it used to be my baby. Now it's just stuff. Okay. Doc has me back in for an quick in-office procedure to try to remove all the "stuff." She didn't get everything. I end up passing the rest of our baby/placenta myself about a month later. Healed up fine with time and lots of support from my amazing husband. We now have a feisty/joyful toddler and another baby on the way. We see a different doctor and I'm a bit more savvy about sticking up for myself.
Omg that's seriously questionable on the Docs part. Like malpractice questionable
At swimming lessons a guy was asking me about when the baby was due and whether I had other children and then asked me whether they were all by the same father. Wtf how is that relevant and how is it any of your business?!
I got asked when my wife was pregnant if I felt like the son would be mine (same sex couple) and if I would be the dad so to speak. Some people are just so rude. I'm currently going through the adoption process to legally adopt him
The fact is, most expectant moms hear ridiculous and insulting remarks way more often than you'd think and it can be hard for them to know how to respond. Fortunately, there are ways to set healthy boundaries to curb some of the unwanted opinions. Delisle told us it is ultimately up to the pregnant person to decide if they want to engage, and how much: "Sometimes, ignoring the comment or question may feel best and be easiest. Sometimes that is impossible, though, either because someone is insistent or because the conversation is already in process."
She suggested some ways to express boundaries: "Stand up straight, using a strong posture. Look the other person in the eye when you respond. Having a strong presence helps cut the conversation shorter." Moreover, you can think of a few razor-sharp comebacks in advance, such as "I prefer to keep that private," "I have my information sources all set, thanks," or "would you ask your mother that?"
i'm not a pregnant woman, but my mom told me that after she had me, she had people telling her that she "took the easy way" out by having a c-section, despite the fact that my heart rate was going down and i would've died if she had given birth to me the natural way.
A C-section is NOT an easy way out. It's major surgery with far more risks, recovery time and restrictions.
It honestly baffles me that people think having an operation, which takes more time to recover from than natural birth, is "taking the easy way out". Why is it even a competition anyway?
My wife had to have a emergency c section as our sons heartbeat dropped dramatically. He spent 2.5 months in special baby unit. She is the most brave woman I know as she had complications afterwards. C section is definitely not a easy way out
My grandmother had c-section when having my mother because my mother’s heart rate was going down and she couldv’e died. Why do people even bother about how someone gave birth? So what if somebody had a c-section instead of vaginal birth? No need to shame someone for giving birth in a different way than you did
Easy way my a$$! I spent 14hrs in labor only to have my stomach torn open, get a bunch of staples to close it. Then i had to have visitors all day, get up & walk around within hours. Oh yeah, & i had to care for a newborn too
Would never trade the natural way for CS in a milion years. Although both Times givingg birth it was painful as hell, 2 hours afterwards I was able to stand up, have a shower, pick up my baby, etc. The women I know who went through CS could not do most of that for at least a few days, some were in pain even after months. It is not the easy way out.
Sometimes a C section is the only viable way, and trying to give birth naturally is just not gonna cut it. Thank god for the option of C sections exists, especially the emergency version, since it has saved countless lives. Natural strain puts a womans body under a lot of stress, that can be so massive that childbirth was a major riskfactor in the past, and many women died trying. In cases with complications chosing a C section could be the best option, and hence you should make the trade if nessesary, instead of putting your own or the child's life at stake.
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After 2 vaginal births, my third was an emergency c-section….it was not easy?
People just love the drama of things , had to throw that in there w/o knowing medical facts
I had to be born by c-section 2 months early, because my mother's heart-rate was going up, and the medication they gave her to bring it back down was stopping mine. It was either then or risk losing one or both of us.
C-section is absolutely not something easy. My mother did a C-section for me and my siblings. When she was giving birth to me, the anesthesia stopped working and she had to wait for the other dose to work. A C-section is NOT. less. Risky. Than. Natural. Birth.
My witch grandma said it to my SIL after she had 2 C-sections: 1st was an emergency due to low heart beat, 2nd was because the child had been diagnosed with a heart condition. My grandma was so proud of herself that she had her children the natural way, as if this was a reason to boast...
C-sections are a gift, a lot of babies and moms have been saved by C-sections. Also it can be easier or harder depending on the person
EASY way? Are you kidding me? I've had a basic c-section to remove a very large ovarian cyst. They cut me from 1 inch above my navel all the way down. And I didn't even have a baby to lift and care for.
"My doctor avoided my baby's death. You're right, that would have been a LOT harder."
I've had both a C-section and a vaginal birth and I can promise you having a C-section is definitely not the East way out and anyone who believes that is
as ignorant as one can be. Giving birth either way is painful and a C-section is a major surgery which means you now have to recover from a full scale operation AND care for a newborn! All mothers are warriors no matter which way they brought life into the world <3
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I had midwives taking care of me during my pregnancy, gave birth in the hospital with a midwife attending. My midwife told me that "natural childbirth" is getting the baby from the inside of the mother to the outside of the mother. She said a C-section is just as natural as a vaginal birth. I share that wisdom with any parents who need to hear it. It's sickening the crazy shite people will say to parents.
After I had a C-section, I got an infection in my uterus and nearly died. C-section is definitely NOT the easy" way!
I've had emergency surgery when I had an organ decide to try and strangle itself to death. So the surgery was similar to C-section without the pregnancy issues involved. I was having trouble even walking without pain meds for a couple of weeks after and the doc wrote me one whole month of sick leave and told me to definitely use the disabled seating in the bus so I wouldn't rupture something. My stomach muscles never recovered fully. So.... yeah, that's not the easy way.
A C-section being the easy way out? What the heck! Who are these people. A C-section can make it nearly impossible to hold your own baby. You can't lift anything, you having a longer healing time. Geez. Slash your stomach with a fricken sword and see if you think it's just a scratch. Are people really this dumb?
My mom had two c sections, twas traumatic but I'm sure it was the easy way out, with me dying because I would be premature. Totally the easy way out.
I had an 80YR old MAN tell me a csection was the easy way. I told him that because he has a penis, he doesn't get to have an opinion on that. I cut his hair for almost 5 yrs. Never again after that.
Screw those people. My aunt on the other hand, wanted a C-section because she didn't want to "experience childbirth and all that pain." My mom (2 Cs) tried explaining that the pain and recovery is longer. My aunt refused to listen. She went for a C and paid the nurses to keep her partially sedated for the next 3-4 days (India and bribes go hand in hand.) Her baby was born almost dead and was in the NICU for 2 whole days while my aunt rested in her sedated state and had no idea her baby was fighting to live. So I'm going to assume that the people in the story above are people like my stupid aunt.
This is complete s**t. I had a c-section because my son's head was too big and he was facing the wrong way. Three days after the surgery I had staph infection rage in my body and I almost didn't make it. A week and a half in the hospital being pumped full of so many antibiotics that I could taste it in my mouth and smell it in my tears. Followed by a drainage tube being inserted in my incision to drain the infection and an additional month of antibiotics when I left the hospital say that I would have much rather delivered vaginally. This is a wrong way to look at caesarean section births and people need to stop. It is not the easy way.
Someone asked me exactly how we conceived twins, since they don't run in either of our families. They said we must have done IVF. So I replied, 'Nope, we had sex. A lot.
Not me, as im a man, but i once overheard a conversation that was kind of crazy.
So one guy was talking to a couple, i dont know if they knew each other but i assumed they just met and just started talking, because they didnt seem to be friends.
Anyway, single guy procceeds to ask if they were swingers, because he likes to f*ck pregnant woman.
The boyfriend got pissed and the single guy tried to explain himself:
"but you can f*ck my wife while i f*ck yours! Please i didnt have sex with a preggo since we had our first child!".
I guess hes lucky he didnt get punched in thr face for it.
Plus, you can always have an excuse ready: "You can say something like, 'What time is it? Sorry – I need to get going.' Or look at your phone and pretend that you got a text that you have to go take care of or call someone back. Or use the easiest (and probably accurate) pregnancy excuse: 'Please excuse me – I need to go to the restroom.'"
I told a coworker I was pregnant, and he said, 'Great — just what we need! Another woman in your department going out on maternity leave!'
Well, you definitely don't need another a**hole in your department. One d*ick is enough.
Are you having twins?
Made me want to high five them. In the face. With a chair.
Yeah I got this a lot - especially with my first, but nope, she was just a 10lbs 10oz baby
This lady I worked with figured out when I conceived from my expected due date. It was within a week of my birthday.
She then told everyone in our office that I got pregnant for my birthday. It was super awkward.
I was also asked repeatedly if we were going to circumcise our son. Like why are you f*cking asking me about our son’s genitals? Why is that anyone’s business?
Circumcising a newborn in every case besides medical intervention should be charged as assault everywhere.
Needless to say, confronting people and things that make you uncomfortable can create even more discomfort. But we hope you can find a way that works for you to address unwanted comments about your pregnancy. The more you do it, the more at ease you will be in informing people about your boundaries.
To those encountering someone pregnant, you might now feel anxious about saying anything to an expectant mom at all. "If you want to say or ask something, first ask yourself how you would feel if a stranger said that to you. If you are not sure, don’t say it. Understand that not everyone has the same comfort level around sharing that you might," Delisle advised.
My boobs grew from a 32C to a 34EE during my pregnancy, and someone at work said, 'I bet your hubby loves your boobs now!' As if there was something wrong with my boobs before.
When I was 7 months pregnant sitting at my desk at work, my male colleague came to me, leaned over me from behind and made a similar comments about 'you preggos and your perky boobs'. I was shocked and did not even respond. Now I know better - should have punched the d*ckhead in the face on my way to report him for sexual harassment
I had to see a maternal fetal medicine specialist who told me he'd recommend this be my last pregnancy, but to get an IUD not a tubal ligation because when I get divorced, I'll want to have a baby with my new man. Never met me before.... I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt and started to say something like "God forbid, but i suppose something could happen to my husband," he cut me off to say "divorce is more likely". I was more than a little upset with that assessment..... More because, either there is a medical necessity to only have 2 pregnancies or there isn't, than his divorce comments, but still....
Wait up, the specialist recommended this be your last pregnancy but is also concerned about a future pregnancy after a divorce that hasn't even happened. What b******t.
I had difficulty gaining weight when I was pregnant due to severe morning sickness. I had an acquaintance tell me that my baby was going to be malnourished and sickly since I didn’t gain enough weight. That really upset me since I was already worried about that possibility. The baby ended up being average weight and healthy.
Seriously, people need to shut their traps about this stuff. It should only be between the woman and the Dr/midwife etc. Mind your business.
However, you probably can’t go wrong with a genuine "congratulations" followed by “how are you feeling?”, with emphasis on you. After all, it always works to listen, respond accordingly, and let the pregnant person steer the conversation. And if you see a stranger out in public who looks pregnant and feel this overwhelming urge to ask them something, "I would suggest giving them a nice, genuine smile. That is almost always appropriate," Delisle concluded.
Not asked but a friend of mine who was a nurse went on to list the gazillions of things that could be wrong with my baby. Anyone who's been pregnant could tell you that when you're not sleeping anymore and hormonal that's the last thing you need to hear to add to your anxiety.
The best part is I posted this a few months ago in response to a similar question and was told to "grow up" by some ignorant Reddit troll lol.
I was asked several times what sex position I conceived in. Someone even asked me that in front of my mother!
"See, that's the weird part. I was on the roof and my husband was on the lawn."
Towards the end of my pregnancy, my male boss asked me exactly how dilated I was. Please don't ask a woman how many centimeters her vagina has stretched since the last time you saw her
"Was this planned?" no because we were both sure we weren't able to reproduce.
We wanted our baby so badly and fought like f*cking hell to get her here at full term completely healthy. She's so beautiful
We love her so much
A guy once catcalled my wife, and when she turned around and he saw she was pregnant, he said, 'Well, I guess it's safe to say you put out'
Not pregnant but work for an OBGYN. My patient told me an older woman said “you must be having a girl because you are HIDEOUS!” Apparently it’s an old wives tale that boys make you glow and girls suck the life out of you. She was having her third boy after expensive IVF treatments to have a girl.
There’s a lot of fake old tales like that. My mother used to say good eaters had pretty babies. But at least it was wholesome, because she then said that she was a great eater her entire life :)
One night, I told my pregnant wife she was looking rather plump. Do not recommend.
My favorite was when a customer came into my store, saw that I was pregnant, and said, 'I hope you're married'
When my wife was pregnant, an ex-colleague of mine told us she really liked to hug pregnant women from behind, stroke their bump, and pretend it was hers.
If I was having triplets... no, I am just fat with twins.
Oh wow, you’re huge! Thanks assh*le
It's totally out of line to say that but I do think in some people's minds they think it's a compliment, like you're doing a great job of pregnanting or something. Kind of funny in an 'Oh dear' sort of way.
I’ve been asked four times where I conceived. I'm like, 'How in depth do you really want that answer?'
i was pregnant as a teen, so i guess people thought basic rules of etiquette don't matter with "the youngins" and i got a lot of really over the line comments, including two separate people who questioned me about my condom usage during my previous "encounters" that led to the pregnancy and what my birth control usage would be in the future to avoid further irresponsible "accidents".
I got pregnant aged 16 irresponsibly (I was very immature and took my oral contraceptive sporadically). The first thing the gp (male) asked me was if I had a bf. When I replied he said 'you'd better get married then'. You know, clearly I was emotionally ready to marry and raise a child.
Someone asked my boyfriend in front of me if my vagina felt different during pregnancy sex
Well, for many it does. Mostly for the one being pregnant though. The pressure and hormones can make your nerves more sensitive. But it's a very inappropriate question and not something you should ask - ever. If you are so curious - google is your friend.
Someone actually asked me if my vagina was shaved
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Why do people feel the need to ask invasive questions to pregnant women? Once again, NOBODY ASKED, let them be please!
Agreed. Pregnant women shouldn't be treated as public property by strangers.
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Ok, I'm haunted by something I said to a pregnant woman almost 10 years ago. I found out really quickly it was inappropriate and hasn't happened since then. A coworker told everyone she was pregnant and the due date, and I responded by guessing the conception date. I get that was inappropriate and creepy. From what I remember, she said something like "that's a weird thing to say" and I responded with "oh yeah, I guess so" and shut the hell up because I was extremely embarrassed. Thanks for letting me get it out.
It's disgusting how society feels entitled to pregnant women's bodies, and women's bodies in general. I'm childfree, but even if I wasn't, I'd rather keep my pregnancy private.
I had a really dumb moment when a friend told me she was having her second girl. I knew she was hoping for a boy, so I blurted out "oh, well, you can always have another" without thinking. Yikes. Worst thing is she later told me I wasn't the only one who made such a comment.
I under stand your reaction but... I came to the comments section to add this one. Expecting my second boy, the number of people reacting the way you did (eventhough they did not know anything about my hopes) was enormous. And when I said I've actually always dreamed of having two boys, they looked shocked and did not believe me. "third time's the charm" yeah, kiss my ass.
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"Oh, you are pregnant! What is it going to be?" "Well, fingers crossed, we are hoping for a human being."
1) I knew when I got pregnant because I was tracking my cycle precisely. The next two weeks were impossible, waiting to confirm. I went to buy an early pregnancy test and the pharmacist was full of compassion, but not for my impatience, but my pregnancy. I was 32 at the time and really wanted the baby. 2) I come from a culture where boys are valued. When we found out we were having a girl, I was shocked by the number of people expressing their condolences, literally condolences, seriously, not as a joke, and wishing me better luck next time or saying that, well, at least "it" is hopefully healthy. We really didn't care about the boy/girl stuff, thrilled either way, but it was infuriating.
I was having severe pains in my stomach and feeling very weak when I was about 5 1/2 months pregnant. I was out buying groceries so I hurried and checked out and went home. I barely walk in the door and tell my husband and his friend he had over that I was in pain. His friend tells me to lie down and put my feet up and gives me a glass of Gator-Aide. My husband just looks at his friend and tells him, "She's just pregnant she's not dying!" His friend couldn't believe what he said. I left him a few days after that and went to my mother's in Tennessee. I ended up having my son at 29 weeks and he had to be resuscitated and I almost died. It's terrible what some guys think.
As a nanny (I’m Caucasian) for an African American family (as in it is very obvious that I was not the mother), I was asked by a random flight attendant if the twins were conceived via IVF. Excuse me!? Umm even if I knew, I wouldn’t tell you!! Mind your own business!
Best response to intrusive questions? "Wow. That's an awful personal question." Then nothing more. Sometimes if you want to be a bit more prickly: "What makes you think I would answer such a personal question?"
We adopted a sibling pair when they were 6 and 8. A couple of years later, I got pregnant. I was told by many people, "Once you adopt it's easier to get pregnant because you quit trying so hard (we weren't "trying"; totally unintentional). Also told that now I'd know what it was to be a parent as I'd have a baby around and how much more I'd bond with my bio child. Most of the time this was said in front of my other two.
That’s so sad and disgusting. Sorry you all had to hear this bs…
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Not me, but my sister got pregnant at 19 after being sexually assaulted. Guy went to prison. She was nervous but happy about the baby. She didn't want to tell anyone until after the first trimester, due to a previous miscarriage. She told me and one cousin, though. I understood, the cousin did not. The cousin thought it was her duty to inform our mother. Sister hadn't wanted to tell mom, since she knew mom would tell everybody. When mom found out, sister begged her not to tell people just yet. Sister wanted to make the happy announcement herself. Mom dismissed her and told both sides of our entire, large extended family (on Facebook, I think), including the details of the assault. Mom wanted to make sure nobody would think sister had done anything improper, since she wasn't married. Sister was mortified, as she had wanted to keep that part private. Mom could not be made to understand that announcing someone else's baby was a serious faux pas (even though Ellen's outing of Mariah Carey's pregnancy was literally all over the news at this time). I don't know how my sister ever forgave her.
The worst I ever got was "you still look so skinny for 4 months pregnant" from someone I barely knew. Yeah. I still looked thin because my baby had died a month ago. I had to labor and deliver my baby myself and bury him/her in the backyard. And now I have to talk about it with a perfect stranger. Stop. commenting. on. people's. bodies. Full stop.
I have two sets of twins. My favorites are people telling me the aren’t twins because they’re “paternal.” “Are they natural?” “I’m sorry” “my mother’s friend in the 1960’s was having twins and one died.” Most people don’t even dream of giving me advice though.
I don't have children. My husband and I decided that if it happened, fine, but we were ambivalent about it. Decades ago, we attended a family reunion on my husband's side. A cousin came up to us and demanded to know when we were having children, saying my husband was the "only one" who could carry on the family name, which this woman didn't even have herself. Guess they forgot about his older brother and his nephew. Hus responded loudly, "That is not a subject for discussion." Surprised the hell out of me. I am a troublemaker at heart, so I quietly left the building and stood alone outside. Soon, one of my SsIL (a big busybody) shows up and asks what's wrong. I told her that we were unable to have children, and somehow managed to burst into tears. She looked guilty and shocked and went back into the building without another word. I'm sure she put the cousin up to asking the question. Serves her right.
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Why do people feel the need to ask invasive questions to pregnant women? Once again, NOBODY ASKED, let them be please!
Agreed. Pregnant women shouldn't be treated as public property by strangers.
Load More Replies... Ok, I'm haunted by something I said to a pregnant woman almost 10 years ago. I found out really quickly it was inappropriate and hasn't happened since then. A coworker told everyone she was pregnant and the due date, and I responded by guessing the conception date. I get that was inappropriate and creepy. From what I remember, she said something like "that's a weird thing to say" and I responded with "oh yeah, I guess so" and shut the hell up because I was extremely embarrassed. Thanks for letting me get it out.
It's disgusting how society feels entitled to pregnant women's bodies, and women's bodies in general. I'm childfree, but even if I wasn't, I'd rather keep my pregnancy private.
I had a really dumb moment when a friend told me she was having her second girl. I knew she was hoping for a boy, so I blurted out "oh, well, you can always have another" without thinking. Yikes. Worst thing is she later told me I wasn't the only one who made such a comment.
I under stand your reaction but... I came to the comments section to add this one. Expecting my second boy, the number of people reacting the way you did (eventhough they did not know anything about my hopes) was enormous. And when I said I've actually always dreamed of having two boys, they looked shocked and did not believe me. "third time's the charm" yeah, kiss my ass.
Load More Replies... "Oh, you are pregnant! What is it going to be?" "Well, fingers crossed, we are hoping for a human being."
1) I knew when I got pregnant because I was tracking my cycle precisely. The next two weeks were impossible, waiting to confirm. I went to buy an early pregnancy test and the pharmacist was full of compassion, but not for my impatience, but my pregnancy. I was 32 at the time and really wanted the baby. 2) I come from a culture where boys are valued. When we found out we were having a girl, I was shocked by the number of people expressing their condolences, literally condolences, seriously, not as a joke, and wishing me better luck next time or saying that, well, at least "it" is hopefully healthy. We really didn't care about the boy/girl stuff, thrilled either way, but it was infuriating.
I was having severe pains in my stomach and feeling very weak when I was about 5 1/2 months pregnant. I was out buying groceries so I hurried and checked out and went home. I barely walk in the door and tell my husband and his friend he had over that I was in pain. His friend tells me to lie down and put my feet up and gives me a glass of Gator-Aide. My husband just looks at his friend and tells him, "She's just pregnant she's not dying!" His friend couldn't believe what he said. I left him a few days after that and went to my mother's in Tennessee. I ended up having my son at 29 weeks and he had to be resuscitated and I almost died. It's terrible what some guys think.
As a nanny (I’m Caucasian) for an African American family (as in it is very obvious that I was not the mother), I was asked by a random flight attendant if the twins were conceived via IVF. Excuse me!? Umm even if I knew, I wouldn’t tell you!! Mind your own business!
Best response to intrusive questions? "Wow. That's an awful personal question." Then nothing more. Sometimes if you want to be a bit more prickly: "What makes you think I would answer such a personal question?"
We adopted a sibling pair when they were 6 and 8. A couple of years later, I got pregnant. I was told by many people, "Once you adopt it's easier to get pregnant because you quit trying so hard (we weren't "trying"; totally unintentional). Also told that now I'd know what it was to be a parent as I'd have a baby around and how much more I'd bond with my bio child. Most of the time this was said in front of my other two.
That’s so sad and disgusting. Sorry you all had to hear this bs…
Load More Replies... Not me, but my sister got pregnant at 19 after being sexually assaulted. Guy went to prison. She was nervous but happy about the baby. She didn't want to tell anyone until after the first trimester, due to a previous miscarriage. She told me and one cousin, though. I understood, the cousin did not. The cousin thought it was her duty to inform our mother. Sister hadn't wanted to tell mom, since she knew mom would tell everybody. When mom found out, sister begged her not to tell people just yet. Sister wanted to make the happy announcement herself. Mom dismissed her and told both sides of our entire, large extended family (on Facebook, I think), including the details of the assault. Mom wanted to make sure nobody would think sister had done anything improper, since she wasn't married. Sister was mortified, as she had wanted to keep that part private. Mom could not be made to understand that announcing someone else's baby was a serious faux pas (even though Ellen's outing of Mariah Carey's pregnancy was literally all over the news at this time). I don't know how my sister ever forgave her.
The worst I ever got was "you still look so skinny for 4 months pregnant" from someone I barely knew. Yeah. I still looked thin because my baby had died a month ago. I had to labor and deliver my baby myself and bury him/her in the backyard. And now I have to talk about it with a perfect stranger. Stop. commenting. on. people's. bodies. Full stop.
I have two sets of twins. My favorites are people telling me the aren’t twins because they’re “paternal.” “Are they natural?” “I’m sorry” “my mother’s friend in the 1960’s was having twins and one died.” Most people don’t even dream of giving me advice though.
I don't have children. My husband and I decided that if it happened, fine, but we were ambivalent about it. Decades ago, we attended a family reunion on my husband's side. A cousin came up to us and demanded to know when we were having children, saying my husband was the "only one" who could carry on the family name, which this woman didn't even have herself. Guess they forgot about his older brother and his nephew. Hus responded loudly, "That is not a subject for discussion." Surprised the hell out of me. I am a troublemaker at heart, so I quietly left the building and stood alone outside. Soon, one of my SsIL (a big busybody) shows up and asks what's wrong. I told her that we were unable to have children, and somehow managed to burst into tears. She looked guilty and shocked and went back into the building without another word. I'm sure she put the cousin up to asking the question. Serves her right.
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