Mom Wonders If She’s A Jerk For Wearing Jeans To Daughter’s Wedding To Prove A Point, Gets A Reality Check Online
Some days are bigger than us. They demand putting our ego aside and just sucking it up. But when Reddit user BallFinal2037‘s daughter’s wedding came around, the woman couldn’t be happy for her. For whatever reason, she thought of it not as a celebration of love, but rather as an opportunity to get revenge on the bride.
However, it was the woman’s husband who confronted her about it, stirring up doubts in her mind. So she turned to the subreddit r/AITAH (which is a lot like the popular r/AITA) to describe the situation and ask its members for unbiased opinions on the matter. Here’s what she wrote.
Instead of celebrating her daughter’s wedding, this mother wanted to get back at her for all the times she disrespected her with her attire
Image credits: Ayşenur (not the actual photo)
So the woman purposefully put on a pair of jeans
Image credits: Olena Bohovyk (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/BallFinal2037
According to Elaine Swann, lifestyle and etiquette expert and founder of The Swann School of Protocol, it’s usually better to overdress for a wedding than underdress. However, before one makes their final decision, they should read the room. For example, don’t wear a tux or a ballgown to a backyard wedding—in that case, it’s better to keep it a little more low-key.
Swann also thinks the location has a lot to do with what you should wear. If it’s a destination wedding, then you know that you’d be wearing resort-style attire. But if it’s going to take place at a high-end hotel, then that’ll give you another idea of the theme.
The other indicator that helps determine your style is the time of day the ceremony is taking place. Earlier in the day, you’re going to find that the attire is going to be less formal, which means more bright colors and flowy fabrics, while later in the evening is when you’ll get to that formal attire where you have black and gold hues, beads, and sparkles.
Of course, this is all generally speaking, but these are good guidelines to follow, and judging by them, the author of the post really did miss the mark.
Yes, pettiness is part of being human. In fact, the 2019 Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) Pettiness in the Workplace survey found that 97 percent of people report having engaged in petty behavior. However, we should be able to rise above it, especially when we’re talking about the people closest to us.
People thought the woman was acting like a spoiled child
!["Karen Complains To HR About My Body, I Uno-Reverse Her Complaint, [And Now] Everyone Hates Her"](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/coworker-complains-to-hr-about-womans-body-revenge-latest.jpg "\"Karen Complains To HR About My Body, I Uno-Reverse Her Complaint, [And Now] Everyone Hates Her\"")
What I love is the daughter showed that her not dressing up wasn't malicious or personal. It didn't matter to her
Girl's already learned how to deal with her mother's narcissism. I can't imagine trying to punish one of my kids for some minor offense they committed at 17.
That mom sounds a lot like my dad. Who i estranged from at age 17 (I'm 28 now). He was super petty and often wouldn't communicate anything to me.
This comment has been deleted.
Fun fact. About 4 years ago i did try to reach out on Facebook and see if maybe anything had changed (especially the Ambien). And when he saw i had obviously sjw like friends talking about being Jewish etc be started invading all kinds of conversations calling me anti semetic over jokes i made when i was 11-12 and didn't know better (jokes i only ever told because he was telling them. They were south park quotes and we bonded over him watching it with me in secret from my mom who thought Pokemon was too crass and violent and banned from the house). Like i grew out of that when i was 13 and found out that antisemitism is still real and Jewish creators who make those things aren't exempt from perpetuating harm. My friends all understood and called him a petty and hateful d**k. And then were able to trudge up examples of everything he had accused me of just on his public posts alone. (he does have a very edge lord gamer "not bigot" sense of "humor") to just kinda dunk on him. He fully expected to be able to alienate me and make some kind of ac point about how intolerant and grudge holding leftists are. But he only looked like the intolerant grudge holder and complete hypocrite. One who knew why what he was saying was harmful and wrong, but still insisting it's fine when he does it. lol
As a Jew, thank you for growing up and learning from your past mistakes!
I don't think you paid attention or read the entire post! It was not a one-time event. This a perfect example of why children must be taught young and why discipline is so essential. Lack of respect, appreciation, and value for money are certainly reflected in today's society. Youth nowadays feel the world owes them DISGUSTING to say the least as are the responses to her post
I suppose the daughter was just thrilled that her narcissist mother didn’t show up in a wedding dress as she probably expected.
That is an extremely good point!
Why do you need to get all fancy and dressed up to go out to a Birthday dinner? Did you ever think that the reason she never dressed up is because she didn't want to go? YTA and you did it to get back at her for being a typical teen. No wonder your husband was furious.
What I love is the daughter showed that her not dressing up wasn't malicious or personal. It didn't matter to her
Girl's already learned how to deal with her mother's narcissism. I can't imagine trying to punish one of my kids for some minor offense they committed at 17.
That mom sounds a lot like my dad. Who i estranged from at age 17 (I'm 28 now). He was super petty and often wouldn't communicate anything to me.
This comment has been deleted.
Fun fact. About 4 years ago i did try to reach out on Facebook and see if maybe anything had changed (especially the Ambien). And when he saw i had obviously sjw like friends talking about being Jewish etc be started invading all kinds of conversations calling me anti semetic over jokes i made when i was 11-12 and didn't know better (jokes i only ever told because he was telling them. They were south park quotes and we bonded over him watching it with me in secret from my mom who thought Pokemon was too crass and violent and banned from the house). Like i grew out of that when i was 13 and found out that antisemitism is still real and Jewish creators who make those things aren't exempt from perpetuating harm. My friends all understood and called him a petty and hateful d**k. And then were able to trudge up examples of everything he had accused me of just on his public posts alone. (he does have a very edge lord gamer "not bigot" sense of "humor") to just kinda dunk on him. He fully expected to be able to alienate me and make some kind of ac point about how intolerant and grudge holding leftists are. But he only looked like the intolerant grudge holder and complete hypocrite. One who knew why what he was saying was harmful and wrong, but still insisting it's fine when he does it. lol
As a Jew, thank you for growing up and learning from your past mistakes!
I don't think you paid attention or read the entire post! It was not a one-time event. This a perfect example of why children must be taught young and why discipline is so essential. Lack of respect, appreciation, and value for money are certainly reflected in today's society. Youth nowadays feel the world owes them DISGUSTING to say the least as are the responses to her post
I suppose the daughter was just thrilled that her narcissist mother didn’t show up in a wedding dress as she probably expected.
That is an extremely good point!
Why do you need to get all fancy and dressed up to go out to a Birthday dinner? Did you ever think that the reason she never dressed up is because she didn't want to go? YTA and you did it to get back at her for being a typical teen. No wonder your husband was furious.