Men Suspect Women Don’t Know These 30 Things About Them, So They Shared Them In This Online Group
There’s hidden depths to every person. There’s a reason why the “never judge a book by its cover” saying is a thing. Same goes for guys.
Sure, some fellas may be nose-picking, public-transport-burping, people-disrespecting weirdos, but that’s not really exclusive to guys, is it now?
In this post, men went out of their way to share and discuss the more sensitive things about their lives and experiences with the internet.
From funny urinal etiquette to the downright sad lack of compliments, here’s some men with no hang-ups about saying how it really is.
More info: Reddit
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Well, every Tuesday night we have a secret meeting where we decide how to best maintain the patriarchy, other than that, not much.
Some of these come up pretty frequently, but it's still helpful for women to be aware of them I guess. Here's a non-exhaustive list (on mobile so sorry if i screw up the formatting) :
When I say I'm thinking about "nothing", I'm serious. My brain was off, it's just static up there or random scenes from movies.
Most of us are acutely aware of how scared women are of men, and we all do our best to minimize that fear for you. My run yesterday around the loop in my park? Gotta be going the opposite direction as the women who were rollerblading so they can see me coming the whole way, don't make eye contact so I don't come off as creepy, etc.
I actually like interacting with kids. They're insane and goofy, say crazy things, and are fun to interact with. No, I'm not a p**o, I'm just treating them like the tiny humans they are and they deserve attention.
Fruity drinks taste awesome and I want to order them. Those little umbrellas and cool straws are the s**t.
Yes, we are all mentally 16 and will giggle about any number of stupid things.
Compliments live rent free in our heads forever. My favorite shirt is my favorite because a cute girl told me she loved the color and it looks good on me...4 years ago.
Saying "she's cute" does NOT mean I am actively trying to get with her, it's just an observation.
We like specifics. "The trash is full" is an observation, and we will agree with you. Our brain did not hear "please take out the trash" like you intended us to.
My last point can be changed with thorough training and a lot of patience and clarifying expectations.
Dear God, just tell us where you want to eat or what you want as a Christmas present. Most of us suck at those guessing games, even if we really try, and we just want to get you what is actually going to make you happy.
Not a dude, but I have a husband. I feel like the best thing he needs when he comes home is a big a*s hug. Doesn't matter if it was a rough day or long day or neither. He needs a hug. I like cooking dinner for my husband so something warm or comforting is waiting for him too. Even if it's left overs. He loves his back scratched, so I'll do that for him or scratch his head. We will sit in silence sometimes while he scrolls on his phone to decompress, than we chat and we put on the TV or go for a walk. I feel like it's the simple things that matter a lot to him. I was very intent on knowing who my husband was and what he wanted when we were dating. I try to encompass those things naturally. I will tell him I love him randomly. I tell him he looks good when he goes to work and when he is just lounging. It melts his heart and I can tell.
Its a lot of fun living with a man and seeing the natural differences that are their norms. Breaks my heart when I see perfectly good men treated like garbage. I mean if he is trash, it's different but most people are just trying their best and I think the small things I do for my husband mean a lot to him.
I think we all want a woman who is as interested in us as we are in her.
Although hearing how men try to avoid choosing the middle urinal if the surrounding ones are occupied may be a funny surprise or super relatable, other guy “secrets” aren’t nearly as funny.
They may be written with a comedic tone, but their true message isn’t humorous in the least.
Some examples of this are how men treasure their one decade-old compliment or how they have to fake their confidence and hide significant insecurities.
These comments, while being veiled as jokes, are indicative of something much more serious. It’s a sign that there are, as there have always been, certain toxic misconceptions about men and how they should be treated - even between men themselves!
LEGO Isn't just for kids
Here's a "woman secret"....some of us like Legos, too. I have 4 HUGE totes(the ones that look like a storage chest) FULL and that's not including my builds in progress.
We really have no control over what we do in your dreams.
We're kinda like dogs. Things in front of me get attention, if I don't burn enough energy I get zoomies, my behavior piques when I am offered food, use brief and explicit instructions or I will look at you funny trying to figure what you really want, and I love naps on the couch
Before you ask...this does not include licking parts of oneself that should not be licked by oneself (normally).
To help us unravel this issue, Bored Panda reached out to Mac Scotty McGregor, Founder and President of Positive Masculinity, regularly striving to empower people to examine how they were conditioned by certain gender expectations. He believes that we, as conscious adults, can understand which of those beliefs are no longer serving us and how they can be replaced with healthier options.
Currently Mac educates and trains corporations and large groups on diversity and sensitivity. He’s a dedicated activist and educator whose main focus is to help create a world where people can feel free to be themselves.
You'll find communicating with guys is a lot easier if you just are direct and open about what you want.
We NEVER know when you like us.
I'm 48. Looking back. I f****d up so much
I either am clueless if someone likes me, or make everything they do seem like there dropping hints that they like me.
That big sigh my wife just asked about while we’re watching the 10 o’clock news? Nothing profound, nothing bugging me, I just remembered to breathe.
This happens SO often. "What's the matter?" "Nothing. Genuinely nothing."
According to Mac there certainly are some “hidden” things that men deal with on a regular basis.
A big one is that the world we are in teaches young and older men alike that they must always be strong, independent, self-sufficient, and in control.
“That includes being in control of our emotions. There are only three emotions that are acceptable for men to show, and those are: assertiveness, anger, or high-fiving our buddies when our team wins.”
Middle-aged men have the biggest rate for ending their own lives prematurely and Mac believes that this traditional masculine model and messaging is part of the bigger cause.
Guys have to deal with other guys policing them and limiting how they should express themselves by ridiculing others that don’t fit into the old model.
Please for the love of god let us know if you’re into us. Don’t wait for us to tell you first because we won’t because we don’t want to be called creeps.
This is also precisely why women are afraid to let on about their feelings occasionally. If we do let on how we feel about someone, sometimes we’re told we should let men lead, and we’re emasculating them. If we don’t let on, we’re told we’re being frigid or making too much of the situation. Honest and respectful communication benefits everyone involved, in my experience!
Dudes can be friends for years and not know each others real name
No. I'm not going to the gym to hit on "b*****s" or get into shape to be attractive to other women.
I'm just tired of almost passing out every time I bend over to tie my shoes.
If I see someone improving their looks or health, I always assume that they’re doing it for themselves first instead of for others
Since we are still in the middle of a huge change, there are “so many things” that could be improved in our society, Mac says.
The epidemic of loneliness and the lack of depth in male friendships because of it being “weak” to talk about feelings and what’s happening with us is one.
Another thing is that lots of men still don’t get mental or physical help or check-ups as, again, if something is wrong it’s a sign of weakness.
“Between the masculine messaging and the capitalist mentality in our Western culture, most also carry the message that we are playing a lifelong game of 'king of the hill'.”
In other words, we’re always competing with each other, instead of collaborating more. Mac says we could achieve much more if we collaborated and didn’t worry about sharing credit as much.
We like compliments. If you compliment a guy he might remember it for years.
… and then he might think you’re into him because we never receive compliments but that is an entirely new issue
If you let me lie in your lap and you run your fingers through my hair and stroke my face, I’ll say “yes” to whatever you propose
The day before a very close girl (friend) of mine gave me a flower.
I can barely explain how amazing that made me feel. I almost cried.
Needless to say that memeory has a golden spot in my brain.
just remember girls that we are humans as well, and EVERY, i mean it EVERY man seeks this feeling.
I like being childish and if I trust you enough I will be childish around you.
I always forget things but I really try to remember them.
We have days where we want to be left alone with peace and quiet
This applies to women as well. We are absolutely into men with a sense of humor and levity!
“I also think that in intimate relationships men want to have more depth but they are at a loss for where to begin and how to navigate that.”
The messaging of never showing vulnerability has become so ingrained in us, yet we must embrace vulnerability to get most of the things we want. Falling in love requires vulnerability, putting ourselves in the line in front of others to achieve things requires vulnerability too.
We could fail, be embarrassed or even hurt deeply, but we are taught that we should hide all of this - never talk about it, pretend we don’t fear, regret, and grieve.
All of this and more hinders men from being fully human, embodied and present in relationships, limiting us in ways some may never understand, which leaves them with an empty feeling.
“We need to reframe this toxic messaging. Embracing vulnerability is the way of the warrior, as is the ability to admit mistakes and be accountable for our actions in order to grow and evolve,” Mac Scotty McGregor finishes.
When you ask us a question, often times we'll quickly respond with "huh?".
It's not that we didn't hear you, cause we did. We're just buffering to give you an adequate answer.
I usually respond like that because I have a hard time paying attention so I have to double check to see if I heard a question correctly
Sometimes, that male confidence that you find attractive is us totally faking it while shaking on the inside, insecure AF.
That's true of every type of confidence. And real confidence is not knowing that things will go your way. It's knowing you'll be ok even if they don't.
If it looks like im ignoring you im probably just so deep in thought that i forgot i actually exist
We're not necessarily watching p**n when we're in the bathroom for an hour. We may just be on Reddit and lose track of the time.
I have 2 adult sons. My youngest has been known to sit on the "throne" for AGES reading a book. The first time it was "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone", most recently it was "Lord of the Rings".
Those memes that are like
Women: I wonder what he's thinking about
Man: *dumbest s**t ever to be thought about*
Are far more true than you think BUT it could also be the complete opposite, they could be thinking the deepest most philisophical s**t ever too.
Either way their answer will be "nothing"
Asked my Husband what he was thinking about because he was staring off into space... he said the groomer didnt shave around the dogs balls great... never asking that question again 🙈
When you explain or rant my brain is telling me how to fix it....
And yes I'm listening but this is how you fix that problem.
Edit: well, I've dunnit, alot of men are helping me with my problem too, and women aren't too happy about how I didn't really listen.
I sometimes need to vent. I sometimes need advice and for people to agree the person I'm talking about is a b***h. None of my family get it.
We pick the urinal we pee in carefully.
It's an unspoken rule to not use the urinal next to someone. Especially if there are no dividers.
We forgot how to cry at some point early in our lives.
I'm so sorry for every one of you who did. Crying is natural, cathartic and good for the soul. So let's go visit those patriarchy-maintaining dudes, and make them cry
Some people who consider men crying to be 'unmanly' are women.
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I grew up in the "I'll give you something to cry about" era. So I equate crying with getting the s**t kicked out of by the person that was supposed to protect from that. I know it was the same way for way too many of us growing up.
Me too, Justin. When I became a mom, one of my priorities was to create a safe, nurturing environment for my son to feel and express any emotion. I fear there's still way too much stigma around letting boys and men cry when they need to. It really bothers me.
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We don't forget, we're just taught that it's a sign of weakness and we can never appear to be weak. At least that's how it was for me.
For me it was more about being taught not to cry because I was supposed to be the one to be leaned on. Even now, when a friend or family member dies, I'm usually the one who has to step up and give the eulogies while others get to grieve.
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I am saying this as a women, but many men are taught that crying or showing any negative emotion other than anger is a sign of weakness. This is such an antiquated view that really needs to be done away with. Expressing negative emotions in a healthy manner like crying can be healthy. We really need to end this stigma that women are overly emotional and men have to be stoic.
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I'm so sorry. Please find people around u where u can cry, it's so much better
That is just so sad. What a terrible thing we did to little boys to teach them that crying is weak and less manly. A good cry can sometimes relieve a lot of stress. We really don't mind.
I cried when my father died in 2013 at the age of 88. I cried when my mother died in 2020 just two days before her 91st birthday.
I’m married to a man that i have never seen cry. 30 years. We’ve been through more than most. I would give anything to see that something, anything, mattered to him. I know he has feelings… it would change night into day if he could ever just shed one tear. I would melt. Forgive. Just show me someone’s in there.
This can happen to women too. I haven't had a good cry since I was a really young kid. I just don't cry.
Not even when watching sad movies? Or disasters on the news where lotsa ppl are crying in front of dead Ukranian relatives or dead kids under collapsed bldgs in Syria? }{ell, I'm weeping reading some of these BP posts of horrid happenings to ppl & the nasty hurtful ppl they've encountered. Raw deal, sad.
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This is exactly how toxic masculinity and the patriarchy damages everyone, not just women.
Rams defensive tackle Rosie Greer sang “It’s Alright To Cry” on the Free To Be…You & Me album in 1972… and if you are old enough to remember that record in your school media center, then you get an upward head nod from me. ‘Sup!
If I ever need a reminder, I watch the monster's speech near the end of Young Frankenstein, or the last minute of And Maggie Makes Three
i cry a lot and i mean almost everyday, since i can remember. most of the time its when im alone, but especially when i was younger it was more often, when other people where around, i couldnt control my crying at all. i used to be made fun of and called a crybaby a lot. nowadays i bury inside, which just makes it worse when i cry myself to sleep
I'm so glad my husband will still cry. Sometimes even in front of me if its about some stupid sentimental s**t we just saw on TV that gave him the feels, but... he will not EVER cry in front of me about something that matters. I feel so f*****g excluded from his inner life. He will not let me in. It absolutely f*****g sucks. Intimacy is more, so, so much more than just sex.
When women are put in long term situations of being responsible for everything (even though having a partner), they too, forget how to cry. I haven't cried it ten years and, believe me, I have been living a life of "need to cry" ... I am afraid my emotions are withering.
Men's tears are expensive, they only crying when they lose everything and can't fix it anymore.
It's not that we forgot, at least for me, i only get emotional for stuff that truly hits really close to home
I have witnessed dads telling their sons not to cry, to be a 'man', even at a very young age. This is so wrong (in my opinion). Then the fathers will sit and talk and think of something that is bothering them and break out in tears. It is heart wrenching to know they have lived with these hurtful memories for so long.
The year [WWII ended] or the prez [Cadet Bone Spurs]?
Load More Replies... I watched a documentary about the differences that hormones make in male/female. It's impossible to test theories properly unless one person could be both female and male SO they did some basic tests on a woman who was transitioning to male. They found that she improved her spacial awareness but that she 'lost' the ability to cry as she had more male hormones. As a newly trans male he said that he missed being able to cry. I think this goes a long way to explaining the differences. I think men feel it but are simply not able to express it..
My husband too. Usually at really sad or really happy moments - movies, commercials, random stuff...
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men cry but their tears are expensive. They only cry after they did everything & anything they can do.
We don't forget how to cry. We're told (usually by our fathers) that we're sissies, or weak, or "girlie" if we cry. Suck it up!
I didn't forget I just trained myself not to do it because it's useless and humiliating.
It is not useless and humiliating and I truly wish this stigma around men expressing emotions would end-- it is so damn unhealthy. There is absolutely nothing wrong with crying as a form of release from a negative emotions. Bottling up emotions is truly not healthy in the long run and can lead to depression and angry outburst. Crying doesn't make anyone less masculine. I respect men and people who are able to be open with their emotions.
Load More Replies... That's what alcohol's for. Loosing the bonds of self-restraint. A day spent sober is a day spent in a straitjacket.
hey... that kind of sounds like you/who you're talking about may have a drinking problem...
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When girls come over to a guys place. The guy is usually cleaning up his place like the Tasmanian Devil 1-2hrs before she comes over.
We fear we are loved for our value and not for who we are.
We don’t want to tell you certain things are worrying us because we dont want you to worry also… now there’s just two people worrying, where as before, one was worrying, and the other was happy, which is a reminder to us not to worry so much
Please don't do this. First, people in general would much rather worry with you than be blindsided by bad news. Second, we will wonder what else you're keeping from us, why you're 'protecting us' as if we're children...and whether we can continue to trust you.
Having the feeling everybody hates me. Or is it just me?
“He didn’t scratch his nose. He was smelling his finger.” - Revelations 17:38
I relate to a lot of these. I'm afab. Gender stereotypes r dumb but very gender afferming
I know this is off topic but I JUST REMEMBERED HOW COOL VALSTRAX IS!! Valstrax-6...67984b.jpg 
These are all lame. Would have been nice to run across something original but nope it's just all the things that men have always thought women don't understand about them. Women do understand these things men, they just don't care.
If you dont like it, dont comment on it :(
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There's an old friend I've lost touch with that I always called Paul because he was the spitting image of a young Paul McCartney. Can't for the life of me remember his actual name now.
I love how almost every item had a woman comment "me too" or "Women have this too". Or you know, you could take this opportunity to LISTEN, and maybe ask follow up questions. THIS behavior is a reason men don't open up often. Many times, as soon as they do, the woman in their life immediately equates it to them and their legitimately similar struggles. So, like men think "here's how you fix this" and are accused of never "Just listening", Women, you have your own version, not a "fix", but a "I the same problem, and here's why it's worse for me/women"....we just shut down instead of say "you never just listen". Which is why every day of our lives, our day was "fine, how was yours..." So we can just cut to how bad your day was and move on...
Down south if a man belt tied up , his wife on war path. If tied down he needs help with wife gift. The there the many different hand signals for holding or pulling up pants. Just a heads up if you see it.
I've read this like 5 times now and still have no clue wtf you're trying to say.
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This is really alien to my way of thinking. You actually keep score? You do 'favors' and expect to be 'repaid'? It wouldn't even occur to me to think like this. Personal relationships shouldn't be transactional.
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I relate to a lot of these. I'm afab. Gender stereotypes r dumb but very gender afferming
I know this is off topic but I JUST REMEMBERED HOW COOL VALSTRAX IS!! Valstrax-6...67984b.jpg
These are all lame. Would have been nice to run across something original but nope it's just all the things that men have always thought women don't understand about them. Women do understand these things men, they just don't care.
If you dont like it, dont comment on it :(
Load More Replies... There's an old friend I've lost touch with that I always called Paul because he was the spitting image of a young Paul McCartney. Can't for the life of me remember his actual name now.
I love how almost every item had a woman comment "me too" or "Women have this too". Or you know, you could take this opportunity to LISTEN, and maybe ask follow up questions. THIS behavior is a reason men don't open up often. Many times, as soon as they do, the woman in their life immediately equates it to them and their legitimately similar struggles. So, like men think "here's how you fix this" and are accused of never "Just listening", Women, you have your own version, not a "fix", but a "I the same problem, and here's why it's worse for me/women"....we just shut down instead of say "you never just listen". Which is why every day of our lives, our day was "fine, how was yours..." So we can just cut to how bad your day was and move on...
Down south if a man belt tied up , his wife on war path. If tied down he needs help with wife gift. The there the many different hand signals for holding or pulling up pants. Just a heads up if you see it.
I've read this like 5 times now and still have no clue wtf you're trying to say.
Load More Replies... This is really alien to my way of thinking. You actually keep score? You do 'favors' and expect to be 'repaid'? It wouldn't even occur to me to think like this. Personal relationships shouldn't be transactional.
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