“All Hell Broke Loose”: Guy Bails On Brother’s Wedding Last Minute After They Suggest His Disabled Wife Stay With Babysitter
It is an awful moment when you realize that your family members don’t respect the love of your life. If it were a distant acquaintance or even a friend, it would still sting, but it would be nowhere near as bad as the sense of betrayal you feel when your nearest and dearest stab you in the back.
Redditor u/aitaaccount54156 opened up to the AITA online community in a heartfelt post about how he got into a massive argument with his brother and sister-in-law, just a couple of days before their wedding. The author of the post explained how all of this happened because they thoroughly disrespected his wife. He, in turn, stood up to defend her. Read on for the full story, in the OP’s own words. Bored Panda has reached out to u/aitaaccount54156 via Reddit, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from him.
The sad reality is that even our closest relatives can hurt us emotionally
Image credits: maxbelchenko (not the actual photo)
A man shared how his brother and sister-in-law were incredibly disrespectful toward his wife and what he did next
Image credits: Kyle Nieber (not the actual photo)
The brother and sister-in-law wanted to sideline the man’s spouse
Image credits: puhhha (not the actual photo)
Tensions flared and the whole situation escalated further
Credits: aitaaccount54156
The entire family drama raised some serious questions about ableism
Image credits: charlesdeluvio (not the actual photo)
The redditor was meant to be his brother’s best man, but he dropped out of the wedding once he realized just how little respect they have for his wife.
“My wife has some injuries that make her slow to respond/understand what others are saying, and she needs help sometimes with her food, I’ll cut it up into small pieces. This doesn’t mean she’s nothing and she’s a smart, capable woman,” the man explained to the AITA community.
However, the OP’s brother and sister-in-law suggested that, at the wedding, she should sit in the second venue, with the professional babysitter that was hired to look after the guests’ kids. The man was completely shocked, as pretty much anyone else would be if they were in his shoes. Here was someone close to him trying to keep his wife out of sight, to be nannied, as though she were a burden.
That did not sit right with him. The argument escalated and he decided that he wouldn’t have any part in the wedding. He chose his wife over his brother. A difficult decision for anyone. But one that many (if not most) would make.
The redditor then turned to the AITA subreddit to hear their thoughts on the situation. He was interested in whether he was wrong when he decided to no longer attend the wedding at all. Naturally, the vast majority of redditors sided with the OP. Many were horrified by just how disrespectful and ableist his brother and sister-in-law were being.
One of the signs that someone might be ableist is that they treat people with disabilities as though they’re children
Image credits: alexlucru123 (not the actual photo)
According to disability inclusion training specialist Ashley Eisenmenger, the world “wasn’t built with people with disabilities in mind, and because of that, the world we live in is inherently ‘ableist.’”
Ableism is the discrimination and prejudice against people with disabilities and is rooted in the belief that typical abilities are ‘superior.’ “At its heart, ableism is rooted in the assumption that disabled people require ‘fixing’ and defines people by their disability. Like racism and sexism, ableism classifies entire groups of people as ‘less than,’ and includes harmful stereotypes, misconceptions, and generalizations of people with disabilities,” Eisenmenger explains on ‘Access Living.’
There are many examples of what ableism can look like. One of them includes talking to a person with a disability as though they were a child. Another example would be talking about the person instead of directly to them.
The author shared some more information about what happened in the comments of his post
Many readers were utterly horrified by what happened. Here are some of their thoughts
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This is what I posted. NTA. If you wanted to be the AH you would have attended, then during the best man speech announced to everyone what happened and you were leaving and taking your wife with you. You could have *really* ruined the day and shown everyone what kind of people they are. Kudos for actually taking the high road.
"I hope your marriage is a short one, and you choose a better, less horrible wife next time."
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I'm glad he didn't give in. His parent's suggestion of just this one day is how it starts and next it'll be during other family functions and more. He married his wife in sickness and in health and its pretty sad that two people taking those vows didn't understand what it meant.
My husband’s brother has moderate Down Syndrome. He has the mind of a child, and could often be inappropriate (mooning, showing his bits…he thought it was funny, just like little kids do). But I never ever thought of not inviting him. We were going to make him a groomsman, but MIL said that might be too much for him. He doesn’t have the mental capacity to understand if he’s not invited to something, yet he has never been excluded in the 30+ years I’ve known him.
This is what I posted. NTA. If you wanted to be the AH you would have attended, then during the best man speech announced to everyone what happened and you were leaving and taking your wife with you. You could have *really* ruined the day and shown everyone what kind of people they are. Kudos for actually taking the high road.
"I hope your marriage is a short one, and you choose a better, less horrible wife next time."
Load More Replies... I'm glad he didn't give in. His parent's suggestion of just this one day is how it starts and next it'll be during other family functions and more. He married his wife in sickness and in health and its pretty sad that two people taking those vows didn't understand what it meant.
My husband’s brother has moderate Down Syndrome. He has the mind of a child, and could often be inappropriate (mooning, showing his bits…he thought it was funny, just like little kids do). But I never ever thought of not inviting him. We were going to make him a groomsman, but MIL said that might be too much for him. He doesn’t have the mental capacity to understand if he’s not invited to something, yet he has never been excluded in the 30+ years I’ve known him.
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