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Sometimes a new relationship feels less like a slow burn and more like a video game speedrun. You skip the early levels of “getting to know you” and jump straight to the “planning a vacation together” boss battle. Zero to 100 before a first kiss. It’s a thrilling, high-octane ride that can make you feel like you’ve found the one
But what happens when you hit one tiny speed bump, or just a gentle tap on the brakes? For one man, a simple question about the pace of their week-long relationship caused the entire thing to explode on the launchpad, derailing her whole gold-digging plan.
He gently tapped the brakes, asking if things were moving “objectively a bit fast,” but she immediately “lost it,” called him offensive, and hung up on him
Text excerpt about questioning the pace of a relationship after a lady sends lovey-dovey texts and expects payment.
Text message saying losing over $500 on a first date and questioning if he's the problem in the dating situation.
Text on a white background asking if dodging a bullet or messing up after sending lovey-dovey texts and ditching guy over money.
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Text update about a lady sending lovey-dovey texts then ditching a guy who won’t pay thousands on two dates.
Text message conversation about dating pace clarification, no requests for paying thousands on two dates discussed.
Text message expressing surprise about how quickly things ended after emotional communication in a dating context.
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Text message discussing feeling a strong connection and disappointment after dates where payment was expected.
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Text message asking if a response is good or if it should be left alone, related to dating and money issues.
The next morning, she sent a gaslighting breakup text, accusing him of wanting her to pay for everything
A man’s Instagram flirtation with a stunning 24YO finally paid off when she came to L.A. and agreed to a date. Her idea for the date was a Lakers game, which cost him over $400. After she almost had him Uber her to the meetup, she arrived in an Uber Black, a bright red flag he chose to ignore. The date itself was incredible, a perfect rom-com montage of hand-holding, cheek kisses, and a singalong to “A Thousand Miles.”
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The night ended with a $100 dinner he paid for, her planning his visit to Arizona, and a polite refusal of a goodnight kiss because she wanted to “take it slow.” But “slow” was not on the agenda. The next five days were a “relationship speedrun” of constant texting and FaceTiming, culminating in her demanding he ask her to be his girlfriend. He did, she screamed “YESSSSSS,” and they were official, a whole six days after their first date.
The first official act of their new relationship was planning his birthday visit to her, which she quickly morphed into a one-night stay at a nice resort in Sedona. A quick search revealed this “nice resort” cost $650 a night. He gently pumped the brakes, asking if maybe, just maybe, things were moving “objectively a bit fast.” This rational question was a catastrophic mistake.
She “lost it.” She called him offensive, insisted she could pay for it herself, and hung up. The next morning, she sent a breakup text that was a gaslighting onslaught, accusing him of expecting her to pay for everything and declaring him not “independent” enough for her. He was left single, out over $500, and completely baffled, wondering if he’d dodged a bullet or somehow massively screwed up.
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Man confused and frustrated looking at phone, representing guy ditched after refusing to pay thousands on two dates.
This relationship was a bullet train heading straight for a cliff. The whiplash pace, from first date to planning a lavish, $650-a-night vacation in under a week, is a classic sign of a relationship moving “too fast,” as described by experts at Boundless. Rushing past the “getting to know you” phase is a huge red flag, as it often masks a lack of genuine connection with a flurry of intense, but ultimately shallow, experiences.
Now, we’re not here to call anyone a gold digger, but that breakup text was gaslighting 101. AIA explains that gaslighting is a manipulation tactic where someone twists reality to make you question your own perceptions. Her text, which completely fabricated a scenario where he was asking her to pay, is a classic move. She flipped the entire script to make him the villain and herself the victim.
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The poor OP did more than just dodge a bullet. He dodged a speeding, gold-plated, gaslighting missile. The breakneck pace, the high financial expectations, and the immediate resort to manipulative tactics when questioned are all signs of a deeply unhealthy dynamic.
Even Marriage.com warns that she ticks several boxes of their “gold digger” criteria. They mention tell-tale signs like lacking emotional attachment, valuing expensive gifts and rejecting inexpensive ones, using charm to gain financial benefits, and never offering to split a bill. This OP can consider himself lucky he ONLY lost $500 and a week of emotional effort in this toxic relationship!
Was he right in suspecting her motives, or should he have sucked it up and paid for the resort? Share your thoughts in the comments!
The internet unanimously agreed that he can thank his lucky stars all he lost was $500 and a week of his life
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Comment warning to stay away from girls after sending lovey-dovey texts and ditching a guy who won’t pay thousands on dates
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Text message warning about no chemistry and advice to block lady who sends lovey-dovey texts then ditches man over money.
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Hi! Here at Panda's I'm responsible for Photo Editing and all of the things surrounding it. I love finding great, moody or even dramatic photos to fit the story. Besides that, I'm a proud owner of 3 cats with the silliest names and a bazillion plants<3You can find me at a makeup counter with headphones swatching all of the sparkly eyeshadows
Hi! Here at Panda's I'm responsible for Photo Editing and all of the things surrounding it. I love finding great, moody or even dramatic photos to fit the story. Besides that, I'm a proud owner of 3 cats with the silliest names and a bazillion plants<3You can find me at a makeup counter with headphones swatching all of the sparkly eyeshadows
What is with women these days? When I was dating and it looked like a dude had a lotta money, I did the opposite of trying to grab some because in my experience (I grew up surrounded by boys’ prep schools, one of which was considered the best in the world for roughly 50 years), the more a man spends on you, the more he feels he’s entitled to from you, so every chance I got, I made sure he wasn’t entitled to more than holding my hand. Was there some sorta “expert” along the line who advised girls to get all they possibly can out of men they date? I’m getting goosebumps if men haven’t also changed during the same period. I’d be terrified their expectations would be crazy!
What is with women these days? When I was dating and it looked like a dude had a lotta money, I did the opposite of trying to grab some because in my experience (I grew up surrounded by boys’ prep schools, one of which was considered the best in the world for roughly 50 years), the more a man spends on you, the more he feels he’s entitled to from you, so every chance I got, I made sure he wasn’t entitled to more than holding my hand. Was there some sorta “expert” along the line who advised girls to get all they possibly can out of men they date? I’m getting goosebumps if men haven’t also changed during the same period. I’d be terrified their expectations would be crazy!
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