“Let Me Tell You How It’s Gonna Go, Little Missy”: Man Has The Audacity To Harass This Mother Breastfeeding In Her Car
Breastfeeding in public tends to spark fiery discussions online. But even though most of us would agree that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with moms providing life-sustaining nutrition to tiny babies wherever they happen to be, everyone still seems to have an opinion about it. Especially those who will never have to experience it themselves.
For Texas mom Gelsey Maree, a recent outing — which, let’s face it, is a huge undertaking in the first weeks of life with a newborn — turned into an especially stressful experience. In her now-viral video, she recorded an interaction with a stranger who spotted her breastfeeding her child inside her car in a parking garage and felt uncomfortable. In fact, he believed it was so inappropriate that he decided to knock on her window and harass her.
The man was obviously unaware that in Texas — as in all 50 states — breastfeeding mothers are protected by the law and are allowed to breastfeed in any public or private location. Yes, even if they do it a few steps from your own car. Scroll down to read about the disturbing encounter in full, as well as the reaction it received from viewers, and be sure to weigh in on the discussion in the comments.
Gelsey Maree recently went viral for sharing how a stranger harassed her and her baby for breastfeeding in her own car
Image credits: gelseymaree
The footage begins mid-confrontation, with the mom recording the man’s outburst
Image credits: gelseymaree
Image credits: gelseymaree
You can watch the full video, which amassed more than 2.4 million views, right here
@gelseymaree I just ❤️ people #breastfeedingprobz ♬ original sound – Gelsey Maree
While doctors, experts, parenting book authors, family members, and even complete strangers tell women that breastfeeding rather than using formula is best for the baby, women are still being constantly subjected to unsolicited comments and criticism while feeding their babies in public and — heaven forbid! — uncovered.
Unfortunately, incidents like the one you see in the video are far more common than you’d think. According to an online survey conducted by Milx.Mom, 31% of respondents reported they had been shamed for breastfeeding in public. The same study found that only half of the women who took part in the survey felt comfortable doing it whenever they choose.
To find out more about the motivation behind the stranger’s actions and the best ways to respond in these stressful situations, we reached out to Joshua Klapow, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist, performance coach, and creator of Mental Drive.
Being the founder of a psychological well-being initiative that helps people access the best-in-class psychological tools to live healthier, more fulfilled, and successful lives, he was more than happy to share his insights on the matter.
“Some people have very strong views about their perceptions of morality, appropriateness, and sexual norms,” Klapow told Bored Panda. “These views often drive equally strong emotional reactions to anything that they perceive violates their view.”
But the bottom line is that no one has a right to shame another person for doing something they’re allowed to do. “When situations like this happen, individuals doing the confronting are thinking primarily about their moral views, they are not in most cases thinking about the woman breastfeeding,” Klapow added. “For them, it is all about a violation of ‘decency’ and very little about context.”
As any woman who has lived through such an experience can tell you, it’s frightening to be confronted by a complete stranger when you’re at your most vulnerable. To handle these encounters, Klapow said that de-escalating the situation is key. “It is critical for safety as a first priority.” Even when you know you’re in the right, “your physical well-being must outweigh at that moment your desire to stand for what you believe.”
“When someone becomes agitated or irate, matching their level of emotional intensity will not reduce the conflict,” the psychologist said. “And again, because you do not know this person, there is a great risk of escalation.”
“Be calm, state your view, and more than anything, ask them to leave you alone, to allow you to go on with your business and to step away. The key is to do this in a non-argumentative manner.”
If you start to fear for your safety, “this is where law enforcement must be called in. Do not do this on your own. It’s better to back off and be safe for you and your baby than to put the two of you at risk,” Klapow advised.
But even after the conflict has ended, emotions run high long after the conversation. It’s easy to feel scared and literally shake from the full-on, adrenaline-pumping, fight-or-flight response that kicked in the minute you felt a threat to yourself and your child. These experiences can be extremely traumatic, but thankfully, psychologist Klapow offered several coping strategies that may help.
- “Give yourself time to reset physiologically. Breathe slowly, don’t drive, or make hasty decisions or actions. Take a minute to re-group.
- Return to a place of safety once you have calmed down. Home is usually the best place. A place where you feel completely safe.
- Share your experience with close friends and/or family. Let them know what happened, how you are feeling, and what you need from them.
- In most cases, this will become an unwanted bad memory that will fade with time. However, if you continue to feel anxious, nervous or triggered by being back in a similar setting or if you are having difficulties with nightmares or sleeping after about 2 weeks, seek help from a mental health professional.”
Viewers were appalled by the man’s behavior and expressed overwhelming support for Gelsey
1. His kids were fine. 2. He saw her breasts, got horny, and wanted to be physically near for a closer look. 3. With typical male rage, he got aggressive with her, because she's in a physically confined space she can't escape. So he took advantage of that. 4. Men like this always bring up God. Not because he's actually afraid of God, but he sort of identifies as God. 5. Ladies, don't roll down your window and talk to these men. Just immediately get out your phones and call the police. They are getting up in your space to frighten you on purpose. You don't know how far they'll take it. 6. Men- leave women alone, please. If breastfeeding upsets you, take your a*s somewhere else. Babies need to be fed.
It is the Puritan religious society. I have seen women freak out about breast feeding as well. I will never understand why people are so fearful of womens breasts.
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Here's an article with a nice painting of Mary breastfeeding Jesus. How did this "God-fearing" chump think baby Jesus was nourished? https://www.huffpost.com/entry/mary-breastfeeding-jesus_n_2274119
Her point about being able to do what she wants in her car is wrong (eg it would be an offence to have sex in your car in a public parking lot) but the real issue is that breast feeding isn't offensive and should be allowed. He should have taken the opportunity to explain to his kids about women's bodies and reinforce the fact that they're not created just for sexualisation!
The kids would be below eye level. HE saw her breastfeeding and was triggered. He also wanted a closer look under the pretext of confrontational, righteous indignation. He was getting off on scaring her.
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The mom was completely in the right to do what she wanted in HER car so that man can f**k off! Tbh I find breastfeeding a bit weird to see, but that's because my family bottle fed only and other than my little sister over 20 years ago I'm not around kids especially babies because they annoy me. However that's my personal problem. That man is horrible.
Another thought- in the car, this woman would be above the eyeline of the kids in the other car. HE saw her breastfeeding. HE got triggered. He also wanted a closer look, which is why he approached her under the pretext of confrontational indignation. He was perving on her. Men- DO NOT APPROACH WOMEN LIKE THAT. Leave them alone. Looming over a woman and yelling at her is a threat of violence and you know it. You are doing it to make her wonder if you're going to punch her. That's what this guy was going. He was horny and angry.
If his kids saw nipples big deal. Everyone has nipples. He must have seen them and went over there with an excuse. Breastfeeding is normal
I wish we got to hear what happened. Did the man walk away after giving her his two cents. Did the police get called? Did she pepper spray him for harassing her? Did she run him over in front of his kids? Too many unanswered questions. Lol
Breast feeding has been happening since Adam and Eve, whether that was hundreds and thousands of years ago or six thousand, still relevant for all and sundry from religious to atheist . And yet there are people who can't deal with it? Seriously GET OVER IT ALREADY, every baby needs this, every single mammal baby ever has needed this ffs.
Dear offended Christian: stop staring at her breasts and let her use them AS GOD INTENDED.
"I fear God"....I would have said "Well, who do you think gave me the ability to feed my child? If you are against me breastfeeding, you are against God. Take it up with Him."
This is horrible, for 2 reasons: He made her feel bad, and he makes women in general scared to breastfeed in public, which will make some women choose to not breastfeed. As a society we have to make sure that all women feel comfortable to breastfeed if they can, wherever and wherever they choose, because breastfeeding is in most cases the healthiest thing for the baby. If you discourage breastfeeding by intimidating women, you are making babies less healthy, and that is not acceptable. (Just to be clear: there should be absolutely no shame if you can't breastfeed, some women just can't, unfortunately our bodies don't always do what we want them to, and sometimes the circumstances just don't allow it, absolutely no shame in that. But we have to make sure we as a society are as supportive about breastfeeding as possible, so no women feel discouraged to do it.)
This makes me so mad. She is out of the way and somewhere private. She's in a car, not out in the middle of a shopping center or on a park bench. This jerk sought her out to bother her in HER car. It's not like she was topless on the hood of the car, she was nursing a baby inside the car. Ugh, what a jerk and I feared for her safety with his aggressive demeanor.
I think he doesn’t know what harassment means. He’s the one harassing her, creep.
I know I will get downvotes for this, but I just wanted to say that although I find babies and breastfeeding disgusting, still I simply have basic respect for people and would never stare at that what I don't like or disapprove. If I had kids I would teach them not to stare at people who are obviously don't want to be stared at and always try to respectfully mind their own business. Please do that, if you have kids.
Are you kidding me? When my little dude was a newborn I always BF in my car while waiting for my husband to shop or get things we needed. Luckily no weirdos peeked in or harassed me in my own car
Was really glad to see the comments about breast feeding being protected in all 50 states. It is here in Canada too. To people who think women *should* cover up, it's not always that easy. It could be too hot for baby or they may be struggling with latch or the baby may really respond to lack of eye gaze (an important social emotional part of feeding an infant) or any number of things. Let's assume they are doing what's right for them?
On the one hand, we're pressured to breastfeed our babies because, you know, "breast is best!", and on the other hand, to never confront society with the logical outcome, namely needing to keep our babies with us and occasionally feed them when we *gasp!* leave our homes. It really makes me feel like women can't win in this society. I mean, you can try to use a cover, but not all babies cooperate. Boobs will be exposed. So just look the other way if it bothers you. FFS. It's not like she was walking naked through the parking lot.
i wish i was there. i would have punched that assnozzle right in the throat.
It's unlikely that people this socially/ emotionly obtuse will change- we simply deter their behaviour. OP should've gotten his license # & reported him to police & management. This no doubt sounds awful but, the sooner these F- heads are in the ground the better off the rest of us will be.
If he's right that there is a God, then he's very right in believing that he has much to fear from Him.
Not sure why OP even bothered to engage with him (and it could have been risky) but I think he missed something from his statement in response to her threat to call the police. I think this should probably have read: 'I'm not scared of no man, I fear God and breastfeeding.'
Happens around here a lot. One guy did this to a lady at the park while walking his dog. I said "If she has to hide her breast when she's feeding her kid, your dog has to wear pants so his balls aren't exposed to every child who might see them."
Unfortunately that could legally be defined as assault. Crazy but true: https://amp.theguardian.com/australia-news/2015/mar/25/woman-charged-with-assaulting-police-over-alleged-breast-milk-attack
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So when his children eat they have to be in private? He doesn't take his kids to restaurants then? It's the same thing. Her kid is eating. He needs to get the f**k over it and stop being a peeping tom.
The whole issue is so ridiculous. Before formula was widely available, women breastfed in public and no one saw that as being strange or indecent. It actually is bottle feeding that is strange (although some women have to because they can't produce milk, no shame there). This idea that breastfeeding is indecent is in fact a very new phenomenon. And I bet these same people who shame women like this ( I am thinking specifically of religious conservatives in America) would object to regulations requiring that public business set aside private areas for women to breastfeed as "government overreach." So what are women supposed to do? Never go out anywhere?
What the absolute f**k? 100% this asshat never got to suck his mums boobs and is lashing out. As a husband and father, I want to strap this asshat to the hood of his car and set fire to him
The man lied. He does not fear God. If he did, he would not be harassing a woman using the equipment that God invented and gave to women to feed their children. Next time, have pepper spray handy.
All the comments saying "roll the window up!" One of the reasons this video terrified me so much is that I was raised around males like this: if she'd tried rolling the window up he'd have reached into the car and grabbed her.
Does that mean you breastfeed your baby under the privacy of you troll bridge?
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I hardly think your comment here carries much weight, as you said in another post that you wear your underwear for a week without changing them. I mean, damn.
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Imagine thinking that the person who was minding their own business was the drama queen, instead of the person who decided to actually cause all the drama. Just say you hate women and go.
Load More Replies... 1. His kids were fine. 2. He saw her breasts, got horny, and wanted to be physically near for a closer look. 3. With typical male rage, he got aggressive with her, because she's in a physically confined space she can't escape. So he took advantage of that. 4. Men like this always bring up God. Not because he's actually afraid of God, but he sort of identifies as God. 5. Ladies, don't roll down your window and talk to these men. Just immediately get out your phones and call the police. They are getting up in your space to frighten you on purpose. You don't know how far they'll take it. 6. Men- leave women alone, please. If breastfeeding upsets you, take your a*s somewhere else. Babies need to be fed.
It is the Puritan religious society. I have seen women freak out about breast feeding as well. I will never understand why people are so fearful of womens breasts.
Load More Replies... Here's an article with a nice painting of Mary breastfeeding Jesus. How did this "God-fearing" chump think baby Jesus was nourished? https://www.huffpost.com/entry/mary-breastfeeding-jesus_n_2274119
Her point about being able to do what she wants in her car is wrong (eg it would be an offence to have sex in your car in a public parking lot) but the real issue is that breast feeding isn't offensive and should be allowed. He should have taken the opportunity to explain to his kids about women's bodies and reinforce the fact that they're not created just for sexualisation!
The kids would be below eye level. HE saw her breastfeeding and was triggered. He also wanted a closer look under the pretext of confrontational, righteous indignation. He was getting off on scaring her.
Load More Replies... The mom was completely in the right to do what she wanted in HER car so that man can f**k off! Tbh I find breastfeeding a bit weird to see, but that's because my family bottle fed only and other than my little sister over 20 years ago I'm not around kids especially babies because they annoy me. However that's my personal problem. That man is horrible.
Another thought- in the car, this woman would be above the eyeline of the kids in the other car. HE saw her breastfeeding. HE got triggered. He also wanted a closer look, which is why he approached her under the pretext of confrontational indignation. He was perving on her. Men- DO NOT APPROACH WOMEN LIKE THAT. Leave them alone. Looming over a woman and yelling at her is a threat of violence and you know it. You are doing it to make her wonder if you're going to punch her. That's what this guy was going. He was horny and angry.
If his kids saw nipples big deal. Everyone has nipples. He must have seen them and went over there with an excuse. Breastfeeding is normal
I wish we got to hear what happened. Did the man walk away after giving her his two cents. Did the police get called? Did she pepper spray him for harassing her? Did she run him over in front of his kids? Too many unanswered questions. Lol
Breast feeding has been happening since Adam and Eve, whether that was hundreds and thousands of years ago or six thousand, still relevant for all and sundry from religious to atheist . And yet there are people who can't deal with it? Seriously GET OVER IT ALREADY, every baby needs this, every single mammal baby ever has needed this ffs.
Dear offended Christian: stop staring at her breasts and let her use them AS GOD INTENDED.
"I fear God"....I would have said "Well, who do you think gave me the ability to feed my child? If you are against me breastfeeding, you are against God. Take it up with Him."
This is horrible, for 2 reasons: He made her feel bad, and he makes women in general scared to breastfeed in public, which will make some women choose to not breastfeed. As a society we have to make sure that all women feel comfortable to breastfeed if they can, wherever and wherever they choose, because breastfeeding is in most cases the healthiest thing for the baby. If you discourage breastfeeding by intimidating women, you are making babies less healthy, and that is not acceptable. (Just to be clear: there should be absolutely no shame if you can't breastfeed, some women just can't, unfortunately our bodies don't always do what we want them to, and sometimes the circumstances just don't allow it, absolutely no shame in that. But we have to make sure we as a society are as supportive about breastfeeding as possible, so no women feel discouraged to do it.)
This makes me so mad. She is out of the way and somewhere private. She's in a car, not out in the middle of a shopping center or on a park bench. This jerk sought her out to bother her in HER car. It's not like she was topless on the hood of the car, she was nursing a baby inside the car. Ugh, what a jerk and I feared for her safety with his aggressive demeanor.
I think he doesn’t know what harassment means. He’s the one harassing her, creep.
I know I will get downvotes for this, but I just wanted to say that although I find babies and breastfeeding disgusting, still I simply have basic respect for people and would never stare at that what I don't like or disapprove. If I had kids I would teach them not to stare at people who are obviously don't want to be stared at and always try to respectfully mind their own business. Please do that, if you have kids.
Are you kidding me? When my little dude was a newborn I always BF in my car while waiting for my husband to shop or get things we needed. Luckily no weirdos peeked in or harassed me in my own car
Was really glad to see the comments about breast feeding being protected in all 50 states. It is here in Canada too. To people who think women *should* cover up, it's not always that easy. It could be too hot for baby or they may be struggling with latch or the baby may really respond to lack of eye gaze (an important social emotional part of feeding an infant) or any number of things. Let's assume they are doing what's right for them?
On the one hand, we're pressured to breastfeed our babies because, you know, "breast is best!", and on the other hand, to never confront society with the logical outcome, namely needing to keep our babies with us and occasionally feed them when we *gasp!* leave our homes. It really makes me feel like women can't win in this society. I mean, you can try to use a cover, but not all babies cooperate. Boobs will be exposed. So just look the other way if it bothers you. FFS. It's not like she was walking naked through the parking lot.
i wish i was there. i would have punched that assnozzle right in the throat.
It's unlikely that people this socially/ emotionly obtuse will change- we simply deter their behaviour. OP should've gotten his license # & reported him to police & management. This no doubt sounds awful but, the sooner these F- heads are in the ground the better off the rest of us will be.
If he's right that there is a God, then he's very right in believing that he has much to fear from Him.
Not sure why OP even bothered to engage with him (and it could have been risky) but I think he missed something from his statement in response to her threat to call the police. I think this should probably have read: 'I'm not scared of no man, I fear God and breastfeeding.'
Happens around here a lot. One guy did this to a lady at the park while walking his dog. I said "If she has to hide her breast when she's feeding her kid, your dog has to wear pants so his balls aren't exposed to every child who might see them."
Unfortunately that could legally be defined as assault. Crazy but true: https://amp.theguardian.com/australia-news/2015/mar/25/woman-charged-with-assaulting-police-over-alleged-breast-milk-attack
Load More Replies... So when his children eat they have to be in private? He doesn't take his kids to restaurants then? It's the same thing. Her kid is eating. He needs to get the f**k over it and stop being a peeping tom.
The whole issue is so ridiculous. Before formula was widely available, women breastfed in public and no one saw that as being strange or indecent. It actually is bottle feeding that is strange (although some women have to because they can't produce milk, no shame there). This idea that breastfeeding is indecent is in fact a very new phenomenon. And I bet these same people who shame women like this ( I am thinking specifically of religious conservatives in America) would object to regulations requiring that public business set aside private areas for women to breastfeed as "government overreach." So what are women supposed to do? Never go out anywhere?
What the absolute f**k? 100% this asshat never got to suck his mums boobs and is lashing out. As a husband and father, I want to strap this asshat to the hood of his car and set fire to him
The man lied. He does not fear God. If he did, he would not be harassing a woman using the equipment that God invented and gave to women to feed their children. Next time, have pepper spray handy.
All the comments saying "roll the window up!" One of the reasons this video terrified me so much is that I was raised around males like this: if she'd tried rolling the window up he'd have reached into the car and grabbed her.
Does that mean you breastfeed your baby under the privacy of you troll bridge?
Load More Replies... I hardly think your comment here carries much weight, as you said in another post that you wear your underwear for a week without changing them. I mean, damn.
Load More Replies... Imagine thinking that the person who was minding their own business was the drama queen, instead of the person who decided to actually cause all the drama. Just say you hate women and go.
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