“She Is Insane”: Man Gives “Stay-At-Home GF” An Ultimatum After Being Told To Get A Second Job
Everyone wants something different in a relationship, so the couples that last are the ones where goals and beliefs align well and people are willing to compromise on the right things. But a healthy relationship also requires some boundaries and perhaps a “line in the sand” for one partner to not take advantage of the other.
A man gave his partner an ultimatum after she wanted to be a “stay-at-home GF” and refused to get a job. She had already refused to get any job she disliked while encouraging him to get a second job, so he was at his last straw.
Being in a relationship means sometimes making sacrifices for your partner
Image credits: LightFieldStudios (not the actual image)
But one man was at his wits end when his GF refused to find herself a job
Image credits: Pressmaster (not the actual image)
Image credits: Significant_Bench571
“Who does what” is often a difficult conversation to have in many relationships
As so many commenters have already noted, OP’s GF is delusional. This is not to say that a “stay-at-home GF” doesn’t exist, but generally, this is only the case when one partner is very wealthy and can afford it. Given the fact that OP can only just make ends meet alone, it’s pretty clear that he gets nothing out of “homemaker” if he has to work two jobs.
Unfortunately, money is often enough a pitfall for many couples, as it can be uncomfortable to talk about. This is often a make-or-break topic, because the world, for better or worse, does revolve around making ends meet. A relationship does require both parties to be able to rely on each other. This story even provides a good example of that, with Op’s job allowing his GF to leave a toxic working environment.
However, it’s not actually sustainable in the long run, if OP has to completely burn himself out to make any money. A homemaker is great, but only when the bills are actually paid. How exactly is this woman going to cook for OP (if she is even willing to go that far) if they might struggle to afford groceries?
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual image)
Putting all their eggs in one basket is risky
There are all sorts of practical reasons to have more than one source of income anyway. What if OP gets injured or sick for a prolonged period? A homemaker can help very little in that case. What if he gets fired or laid off? What if she gets sick and they need to cover hospital bills. It doesn’t seem like they can actually develop any savings without OP ending up so burnt out it stunts his physical and mental health.
It’s also particularly toxic to, in one breath, state that there are no good jobs, and then, in another, tell your partner that he should find a second job. If there truly were no employment opportunities, this would be more acceptable. Indeed, being a “stay-at-home GF” would be the least she could do. Instead, she is arguing that it’s somehow more desirable than real and normal financial stability.
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual image)
The GF’s entitlement doesn’t match up to her own refusal to work
The truth is that most adults are already their own housekeepers. Most people, particularly if they are single, can and do cook something for themselves. Laundry gets done, dishes get washed and so on. The GF “offering” to do these tasks seems superfluous when neither of them have kids nor live in a mansion.
She would only put the “stay” in “stay-at-home GF” because she is asking OP to do hours more work, while only “saving” him a few hours a week on household chores. The degree of entitlement is simply too much, particularly when she refuses to do what she is asking him to do. After all, OP could be a homemaker if he really had to, but his GF is refusing the, often much more simple, task of just getting a job.
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual image)
Many readers sided with OP
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If you want to be a kept woman, you need to find someone making more than just enough to cover the bills.
Indeed, and to be fair there are quite a few men who actually like the idea of a stay at home girlfriend. She should also be aware that most of them also want a stay at home wife and mother. So she'd be expected to start popping out kids too...
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You know what? This is your real girlfriend, the one who tells you to get another job on top of overtime and who refuses to look for a job so that she can spend time a home while you are working yourself to a burn-out or more. She doesn't have your best interests at heart and she doesn't see the both of you as a team. For your own mental sanity you have to break up.
Thats right. Would it really be so painful to work a part time job?
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If you don't dump her you're a massive simp and an idiot. You're delusional for even asking this question. Kick her out immediately lmfao
Dude, don't count on any birth control she handles on her own working well.
The answer to “there’s no good jobs that are hiring” is “Then you’ll have to get a bad job”. But just break up with her now.
Being a stay at home girlfriend/boyfriend is a very stupid idea. It will so screw you over economically, not just in the short term but in the long term. No saving for pension, no work experience for if you need a job later etc. No saving money and no legal protection if anything happens.
HOLY C**P. Bro, if you ever see this. RUN dont walk. She's freaking delusional
For all these young kids with myths in their head about traditional partner gender roles, in most societies that ever existed, women worked. They gathered food, made many different types of tools and clothing. They usually would build and transport the house. My parents were born in the 1920s. All their friends, family, and neighbors around their age - all the women worked after high school and before marriage (and often until they got pregnant). There is no "stay at home" girlfriend unless you're rich. She's greedy and selfish.
And in the US, the nuclear family with the housewife was really only something you could do if you had decent money. It wasn't a fun time for the housewives either because in many states an abusive husband wasn't grounds for divorce.
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I can understand the appeal of not having to work - for about a month. Then what? I genuinely don’t understand why someone would want to do housework all day, everyday, without pay. It seems both soul crushing and mind numbing. Granted this woman sounds more like she wants to be a kept woman than a SAH partner.
You're assuming she's even doing the housework. She might be, but we don't know (unless I missed something, which is possible).
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Im willing to bet the workplace got much less toxic the moment she quit.
Time to cancel the WIFI and cable TV. Before you leave for work in the morning leave cleaning supplies on the kitchen counter with a list of household chores you expect to be done
First thing first: that girl is s3xist as F*CK! Second: I agree with the comment saying she didn't quit her job but was fired. Her whole attitude screams entitled brat and that's simply not compatible with any workplace. Third and last : when you're jobless you take ANYTHING! I have a good diploma and when I got out of uni, economic crisis yay, I WENT TO FLIP BURGERS.
I'm all for stay-at-home wives, but it entails as much work as a job anyway! Typically there are children involved and maintaining the house and managing the kids and their activities is a full-time position in itself!
How do you feel about stay-at-home girlfriends though? From what it sounds like there's nothing here worth having one person stay at home for.
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Dump her and tell her to get out. If she refuses and you are on a month-to-month lease, give your landlord the required time notice of non-renewal and make sure your last gold-digging GF knows you are not renewing the lease and she will be evicted. This is not the pre-1990s when it was possible for a single income to support two people.
That's.... something. I'm a woman, but if I were her bf I wouldn't have sex with her just in case she gets pregnant.
If she actually cared, she’d be feeling REALLY guilty about her partner driving himself to the point of exhaustion (to save them both from a life on the streets)! She should at least be TRYING to find work. The fact that she isn’t out looking or preparing CVs is solid proof that she isn’t interested in helping to pay the bills. Unless she’s heavily disabled/chronically ill (though I highly doubt it, or OP would’ve said), she’s got zero excuses. 😐🤷♀️
She has some very backwards views about men and women, is a hobo-sexual, and OP should break up with her. If you want to be a kept woman or kept man, find someone who is rich and into that sort of thing. One member of the couple being a like a housewife or househusband only makes sense if the other half makes $$$ or someone is a trust fund baby and/or if there are young children. Maybe her job really was toxic, and she is suffering from legit burn-out, but she is definitely full of sh!t with her idea that she can't work because there are "no good jobs" but her boyfriend should totally get a second not-good toxic job.
Get rid of that deadweight before she geht's pregnant and has you Trapper for life. NTA, but also not too bright, are you?
SAHGF? Seriously???!!! Where do these delusional ding-dums come up with that. OP would do better coming home to an empty but burdenless apartment rather than one with a delusional burden adding to the bills. Asking OP to take a second job? Tell her she's the toxic instead and you don't need her poisoning your life. Seriously, people...!!!
No need to name-call, simply say "I can't afford to keep two people afloat". You shouldn't have to get a second job. Full time job for a full time life.
Am I the only one who thinks the girlfriend needs some professional help and is probably experiencing some level of PTSD, or at least trauma, from her last job?
PTSD from working with difficult people? I certainly hope not because there are difficult people in nearly every work place.
Load More Replies... If you want to be a kept woman, you need to find someone making more than just enough to cover the bills.
Indeed, and to be fair there are quite a few men who actually like the idea of a stay at home girlfriend. She should also be aware that most of them also want a stay at home wife and mother. So she'd be expected to start popping out kids too...
Load More Replies... You know what? This is your real girlfriend, the one who tells you to get another job on top of overtime and who refuses to look for a job so that she can spend time a home while you are working yourself to a burn-out or more. She doesn't have your best interests at heart and she doesn't see the both of you as a team. For your own mental sanity you have to break up.
Thats right. Would it really be so painful to work a part time job?
Load More Replies... If you don't dump her you're a massive simp and an idiot. You're delusional for even asking this question. Kick her out immediately lmfao
Dude, don't count on any birth control she handles on her own working well.
The answer to “there’s no good jobs that are hiring” is “Then you’ll have to get a bad job”. But just break up with her now.
Being a stay at home girlfriend/boyfriend is a very stupid idea. It will so screw you over economically, not just in the short term but in the long term. No saving for pension, no work experience for if you need a job later etc. No saving money and no legal protection if anything happens.
HOLY C**P. Bro, if you ever see this. RUN dont walk. She's freaking delusional
For all these young kids with myths in their head about traditional partner gender roles, in most societies that ever existed, women worked. They gathered food, made many different types of tools and clothing. They usually would build and transport the house. My parents were born in the 1920s. All their friends, family, and neighbors around their age - all the women worked after high school and before marriage (and often until they got pregnant). There is no "stay at home" girlfriend unless you're rich. She's greedy and selfish.
And in the US, the nuclear family with the housewife was really only something you could do if you had decent money. It wasn't a fun time for the housewives either because in many states an abusive husband wasn't grounds for divorce.
Load More Replies... I can understand the appeal of not having to work - for about a month. Then what? I genuinely don’t understand why someone would want to do housework all day, everyday, without pay. It seems both soul crushing and mind numbing. Granted this woman sounds more like she wants to be a kept woman than a SAH partner.
You're assuming she's even doing the housework. She might be, but we don't know (unless I missed something, which is possible).
Load More Replies... Im willing to bet the workplace got much less toxic the moment she quit.
Time to cancel the WIFI and cable TV. Before you leave for work in the morning leave cleaning supplies on the kitchen counter with a list of household chores you expect to be done
First thing first: that girl is s3xist as F*CK! Second: I agree with the comment saying she didn't quit her job but was fired. Her whole attitude screams entitled brat and that's simply not compatible with any workplace. Third and last : when you're jobless you take ANYTHING! I have a good diploma and when I got out of uni, economic crisis yay, I WENT TO FLIP BURGERS.
I'm all for stay-at-home wives, but it entails as much work as a job anyway! Typically there are children involved and maintaining the house and managing the kids and their activities is a full-time position in itself!
How do you feel about stay-at-home girlfriends though? From what it sounds like there's nothing here worth having one person stay at home for.
Load More Replies... Dump her and tell her to get out. If she refuses and you are on a month-to-month lease, give your landlord the required time notice of non-renewal and make sure your last gold-digging GF knows you are not renewing the lease and she will be evicted. This is not the pre-1990s when it was possible for a single income to support two people.
That's.... something. I'm a woman, but if I were her bf I wouldn't have sex with her just in case she gets pregnant.
If she actually cared, she’d be feeling REALLY guilty about her partner driving himself to the point of exhaustion (to save them both from a life on the streets)! She should at least be TRYING to find work. The fact that she isn’t out looking or preparing CVs is solid proof that she isn’t interested in helping to pay the bills. Unless she’s heavily disabled/chronically ill (though I highly doubt it, or OP would’ve said), she’s got zero excuses. 😐🤷♀️
She has some very backwards views about men and women, is a hobo-sexual, and OP should break up with her. If you want to be a kept woman or kept man, find someone who is rich and into that sort of thing. One member of the couple being a like a housewife or househusband only makes sense if the other half makes $$$ or someone is a trust fund baby and/or if there are young children. Maybe her job really was toxic, and she is suffering from legit burn-out, but she is definitely full of sh!t with her idea that she can't work because there are "no good jobs" but her boyfriend should totally get a second not-good toxic job.
Get rid of that deadweight before she geht's pregnant and has you Trapper for life. NTA, but also not too bright, are you?
SAHGF? Seriously???!!! Where do these delusional ding-dums come up with that. OP would do better coming home to an empty but burdenless apartment rather than one with a delusional burden adding to the bills. Asking OP to take a second job? Tell her she's the toxic instead and you don't need her poisoning your life. Seriously, people...!!!
No need to name-call, simply say "I can't afford to keep two people afloat". You shouldn't have to get a second job. Full time job for a full time life.
Am I the only one who thinks the girlfriend needs some professional help and is probably experiencing some level of PTSD, or at least trauma, from her last job?
PTSD from working with difficult people? I certainly hope not because there are difficult people in nearly every work place.
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