Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

BoredPanda Add post form topAdd Post
Tooltip close

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

“She Hasn’t Stopped Crying”: Man Cancels Honeymoon After Wife Edited His Son Out Of Wedding Pics
2.3K

“She Hasn’t Stopped Crying”: Man Cancels Honeymoon After Wife Edited His Son Out Of Wedding Pics

ADVERTISEMENT

A marriage is a union between more than just two people. It binds together their relatives as well. So when Reddit user JeffJeffery02 noticed what he interpreted as a sign of his wife trying to exclude one-of-if-not-the closest person to him, the man was furious.

In a post on the subreddit ‘Am I the [Jerk?]’, he explained that during their honeymoon, he noticed his son (who he had with his previous partner) was cut out from many of the wedding photos. The man shared this with his wife, and she told him that it was her idea.

When this man saw his wedding photos, he couldn’t believe that his son was cut out from many of them

Image credits: Leo Foureaux (not the actual image)

However, when he brought this up with his wife, he learned that it was actually her idea

Image credits: Orhan Pergel (not the actual image)

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT

Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual image)

Image credits: JeffJeffery02

Contemporary stepfamily dynamics can be difficult to navigate

Women died in childbirth and men died working; stepfamilies have been around virtually as long as families have.

Life was brutal and short, and in order to survive, parents tried to find another partner pretty quickly.

According to Lawrence Ganong, an emeritus professor of human development at the University of Missouri who has studied stepfamilies for decades, for most of human history, stepparents functioned as replacement parents—not necessarily in children’s affections, but in assuming the duties of the deceased mother or father.

In the 1970s, however, Ganong says the number of post-divorce stepfamilies began to outnumber post-bereavement stepfamilies, and with both biological parents in the picture, the stepparent role became less cut-and-dried.

ADVERTISEMENT

What that looks like varies from family to family, but typically it means that although the stepparent might offer advice or compassion to their stepkids or spouse as needed, they stay out of big decisions, such as where the child will attend school or whether they are allowed to get a smartphone. The stepparent might help the stepchild with their homework or some other task upon request, but probably won’t nag the child to focus if they get distracted. And while the stepparent always looks out for the child’s physical safety, they usually don’t monitor screen time or hygiene or otherwise manage their well-being—that’s the bio parent’s responsibility.

In reality, the lines are often blurry and while it might be not as drastic as in this Reddit post, building a functioning and healthy stepfamily takes time and effort.

Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual image)

Some people wanted the original poster (OP) to share more details

And while many thought he did nothing wrong here

ADVERTISEMENT

Others believed he overreacted

ADVERTISEMENT
Share on Facebook
You May Like
Related on Bored Panda
What do you think?
Add photo comments
POST
xolitaire avatar
xolitaire
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with the comments, this reeks of "buttering up the son to get to the father". Read it again and pay attention to OP's description of the wife's "love" for her stepson. ALL of the things he lists are connected to money or spending money on the son. She didn't really "do" anything to earn his love, she threw money at him. I'm sorry to say this, but "Natalie" will most likely not care a lot about OP's son now that they are legally married.

ultimatedomesticgoddess avatar
Callie Ge
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But you’re only getting his biased story here, painting himself in a good light & demonising his new wife, I don’t think he’s giving the whole story about the photos, she wasn’t editing his son out of them all , just some, & she kept all the originals with his son still in them . All she wanted was some photos with just the two of them looking at the camera, which can be difficult, out of my 200 wedding photos my husband & I were alone & looking at the same camera at the same time in maybe 10 of them ( the photographer lost the best roll of film.)

Load More Replies...
miriam-renken avatar
MiriPanda
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can't believe those yta comments - did "Natalie" wrote those?

kirbywalker avatar
PotatoNinja5000
Community Member
9 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Going to the original source makes it a bit clearer. It sounds like OP tried to put the kid in every photo when it wouldn't have been appropriate and the wife wanted a few that had the normal separated groups. The details that explain that the wife hasn't removed him from all of them and that some of those instead included certain groups like grandparents is a big clue. It's fair enough that the dad is a bit over the top with the kid, but people shouldn't be so quick to blast the wife as an abuser just because she wanted a few traditional photos.

Load More Replies...
bluehectre avatar
IDGAFabtUrFeelings
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Those who said the father is the AH is blind and have never experienced the ugly side of manipulative spouses. Allowance is nothing. Painting a room is nothing. Did she stay up with him when he was sick? Is she the one providing care? Your son comes as a priority and should always be one. He was already in the photos. Why edit him out....

kirbywalker avatar
PotatoNinja5000
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, but I have been the kid is the situation of manipulative step spouses and I do like to read the full context before branding someone with that strong a term. It's a common thing for people to attach their own experiences to their opinion on outside situations, but that doesn't mean that they can't be wrong. Ultimately no one knows what the answer here is except for the wife. Reading the original post and comments does strongly hint that OP has massively over reacted though, and it sounds like he is very much '100% my kid 100% all the time' with him. That's nice for the parent/child relationship but that's a bit of a red flag itself for the husband/wife relationship.

Load More Replies...
Load More Comments
xolitaire avatar
xolitaire
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with the comments, this reeks of "buttering up the son to get to the father". Read it again and pay attention to OP's description of the wife's "love" for her stepson. ALL of the things he lists are connected to money or spending money on the son. She didn't really "do" anything to earn his love, she threw money at him. I'm sorry to say this, but "Natalie" will most likely not care a lot about OP's son now that they are legally married.

ultimatedomesticgoddess avatar
Callie Ge
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But you’re only getting his biased story here, painting himself in a good light & demonising his new wife, I don’t think he’s giving the whole story about the photos, she wasn’t editing his son out of them all , just some, & she kept all the originals with his son still in them . All she wanted was some photos with just the two of them looking at the camera, which can be difficult, out of my 200 wedding photos my husband & I were alone & looking at the same camera at the same time in maybe 10 of them ( the photographer lost the best roll of film.)

Load More Replies...
miriam-renken avatar
MiriPanda
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can't believe those yta comments - did "Natalie" wrote those?

kirbywalker avatar
PotatoNinja5000
Community Member
9 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Going to the original source makes it a bit clearer. It sounds like OP tried to put the kid in every photo when it wouldn't have been appropriate and the wife wanted a few that had the normal separated groups. The details that explain that the wife hasn't removed him from all of them and that some of those instead included certain groups like grandparents is a big clue. It's fair enough that the dad is a bit over the top with the kid, but people shouldn't be so quick to blast the wife as an abuser just because she wanted a few traditional photos.

Load More Replies...
bluehectre avatar
IDGAFabtUrFeelings
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Those who said the father is the AH is blind and have never experienced the ugly side of manipulative spouses. Allowance is nothing. Painting a room is nothing. Did she stay up with him when he was sick? Is she the one providing care? Your son comes as a priority and should always be one. He was already in the photos. Why edit him out....

kirbywalker avatar
PotatoNinja5000
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, but I have been the kid is the situation of manipulative step spouses and I do like to read the full context before branding someone with that strong a term. It's a common thing for people to attach their own experiences to their opinion on outside situations, but that doesn't mean that they can't be wrong. Ultimately no one knows what the answer here is except for the wife. Reading the original post and comments does strongly hint that OP has massively over reacted though, and it sounds like he is very much '100% my kid 100% all the time' with him. That's nice for the parent/child relationship but that's a bit of a red flag itself for the husband/wife relationship.

Load More Replies...
Load More Comments
Related on Bored Panda
Trending on Bored Panda
Also on Bored Panda