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Dating, and first dates in particular, come with a sort of acrobatic-like juggling performance. One has to put their own best foot forward, while being engaging, funny and interesting with, ostensibly, a stranger. At the same time, they also need to actually pay attention if this person is giving off weird vibes. So, naturally, some folks have developed their own strategies.
Someone asked women “what’s the best litmus test you can give to someone to tell if they’re a red flag?” and people detailed their best strategies. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to share your own thoughts and experiences in the comments down below.
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#1
When I was online dating I had a rule that I didn’t give out my number until I met you in person and liked you. I was pretty up front about it bc guys would want to switch over to snap or endless texting but It weeded out d**k pics and it got the ball rolling on getting to know someone in person.
Let me tell you, I could tell a metric f**k ton about a person from the way they responded to being told no and having an easy boundary put in place. It wasn’t an intentional test, but it provided great insight about how people deal with being told no in a zero stakes environment.
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#2
Pay attention to how they talk about their exes and past relationships. If somehow their exes were all "crazy" or they seem to lack any accountability, run. They're probably the problem.
Salvador Figueroa 2 months ago
This can go either way, they're either embellishing who was the problem or they're drawn to unstable people.
#3
Not online dating at the moment, but something that clicked for me as a red flag (and honestly applies in so many other circumstances) - if you explain that you do or don’t want to do something out of safety or precaution and the man’s very first instinct is to go AGGRESSIVELY try to convince you they’re safe - run.
I’m not talking a normal reassurance along with an understanding of the boundary you put in place.
Ie - If the man offers to pick you up and you were to say, “I’ve had some fairly jarring experiences with dating (or men in general) so it’s important to me that initially we meet in a public space to get to know each other, but I sincerely appreciate the offer”
And they’re response is anything adjacent to “Okay but I’m safe you don’t have to worry about that seriously it’ll be okay” or “I’m a gentleman and I have sisters, I’d really like to pick you up, chivalry isn’t dead you know?” or “Well you can’t let one bad apple ruin the crop, seriously it’ll be fine. I’ve always picked up my dates and never had issues, just trust me” - RUN
To seasoned daters this might sound obvious and to others I might sound absurd but it’s such a “people show you exactly who they are - listen to them” moment.
They’re breaking down a perfectly reasonable boundary or limitation because they take issue with that limit. This shows not only a lack of empathy and understanding, but is also a huge indicator of other major issues.
Best case scenario it hurt their ego and they care more about convincing you to bend to their will than they do your feelings, your safety, or getting to know you. Worst case scenario - well there’s a lot of them.
Stay safe! ❤️❤️.
#4
Do they throw their trash away when the theater movie is over? Do they move their plates, dirty silverware and other trash to the end of the table in the restaurant so cleanup is easier for the service worker?
#5
How they treat service workers
Where they put a shopping cart when they’re done with it
What happens with a minor inconvenience or they don’t get their way
How much attention do they pay to their phone vs you
What happens if you don’t immediately text or call back
Their opinions about people’s role in society or relationship based on their gender.
#6
Say "no" to something small.
Red flag is a person who tries to argue you out of it or gets mad. Those people don't respect consent.
#7
Lack of general courtesy is a good place to start.
- Looking at alerts on your phone when you're on a first date and doing the "so, tell me about yourself" stuff. Unless you need to be "on call" or you are someone's primary caretaker, put the d**n phone away.
- Rude to people in the service industry
- Cuts you off when you are speaking and changes the conversation topic.
- Makes rude comments about a group of people ... good chance those comments become slurs and hate speech later.
- Tries to change your mind on something ...
not ideologically (though that is a whole separate thing) ... e.g. "No, thank you, I don't like seafood." "Come on, have you ever had seabass like this, I *insist* you try some."
#8
If they don't like or have no regard for animals. Also if my pet/s don't like a person.
Emilu 2 months ago
I'm with most of these, but I think people should be able to not like pets. As long as you don't go around harming them, you can like what you like. Admittedly, it probably means we wouldn't be compatible, but I don't think it's a red flag in itself. No regard, however... that's far different.
#9
This works for friendships as well as romantic relationships. But sometimes you will meet somebody and you'll get along super great and everything is wonderful, but then just as you're moving from acquaintances to friends or seeing each other to going steady, still very early in the relationship, all of a sudden they do something dramatic and weird. Like maybe they blow up with anger at you, or they show up at your house sobbing and asking for your immediate support. And you're there for them in the moment because they have some logical reason for why they exploded like that. Their boss said something absolutely criminal and they're spiraling about quitting their job, or their uncle had a heart attack and they found him just in time.
They get exactly one of those. Everybody has weird outlier stuff happen from time to time.
The second time it happens, if it isn't years later, you walk away immediately. Immediately.
Even if it's the edgiest of the edge cases, they had two enormous life altering wildcard events in a month purely by chance, the fact that they are bringing them to you, a person they knew for 2 months, means that they can't keep a friend for long enough to find somebody closer than you to bring this to. They have burned out everybody close to them on this c**p.
Walk away now. It will only get harder.
#10
When I was on Tinder, if a guy was picking me up I would say hello and then take a photo of his license plate right in front of him and send it to someone in my family. Almost every single time, the guy would laugh about it and it would be a topic of conversation. There was only one time the guy got super upset and took it personally - red flag.
Rika 2 months ago
I would take it as a red flag if someone took a photo of my license plate. Sure, you say it's because it makes you feel safe, but it makes *me* feel unsafe. You're worried I might harm you, I'm worried you might use the plate info to find my address and stalk me or you might frame me for a crime. Paranoia can go both ways.
Daria 2 months ago
Agreed. I wouldn't like someone taking pictures of me or mine without at least asking me first. I think common courtesy should go both ways.
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LouLou Bella 2 months ago
In no way should a girl allow a tinder date to pick her up. How has this become normal? you find your own way there and back, No ifs, ands, or buts.
Salvador Figueroa 2 months ago
To be fair that alone is a red flag but I wouldn't make an issue of it. You suspect I'm a danger yet still are continuing on the date?
KatSaidWhat 2 months ago (edited)
You know the #notallmen? Try #wedon'tknowhichmen. ETA - your immediate reaction colours your flag.
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Uncle Panda 2 months ago (edited)
I think I'd end the date right there. "If you're that worried about me, I don't think we should go out at all. Best wishes for you. Can I call you an Uber." And then drive away slowly so all the cameras caught me leaving alone.
Papa 2 months ago
That is not an American thing. Even police officers can be charged with a crime in the US if they look up a license plate for personal reasons.
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#11
I have been "lucky" to have my car break down in early dating situations. This was a real eye opener for me. You can tell a lot about a person when they are put in difficult situations, but only an inconvenience.
- did they get angry at the flat tire or fix it.
- did the rage at missing the show
- did they blame you, call you names.
T.M.P Janssen 2 months ago
I can also angrily change a tire. I can be angry at the tire without being angry at another human.
#12
A man told me I have "Trump derrangement syndrome" because I'm worried about our rights being taken away. That was a pretty good indicator.
Blue Bunny of Happiness 2 months ago
Kind of him to put up a full bunting worth of red flags there.
#13
Match their energy with your energy.
People who give you their all are worth your all in return. People who give you nothing and expect everything need to know they aren’t going to get it from you.
I had a friend for years who was notorious for blowing me off when we made plans, or making promises and never keeping them, or being late to everything. I communicated to her multiple times that I didn’t like being treated like that, that I thought it was disrespectful, and she didn’t change.
So I started treating her the same way. She’d ask me to hang out and I would be super vague about confirming, then just not show up. It only took her two months to completely blow up and burn down the whole friendship. I think she regretted her actions in the end, but I’ve blocked her on everything. I’m not interested in being friends with people who treat others so poorly.
#14
I’ve had several red flag relationships. My husband was completely different and I realized what red flags actually were after meeting him. These weren’t things that I could see right away, but within 3-4 months. Some things I picked up on:
- How does he respond to information or advice from women versus men? Does he value their opinion or consistently argue or dismiss? Does he treat women the same in conversation (facing, engaging, listening) as men? How does he respond to women when the GROUP is primarily men? Is he only talking to women because they could provide status or some direct benefit to him? Does he have close women friends at all that he hasn’t dated?? Super telling about intentions and how he sees women.
- 100% check relationship with mom and grandma, possible sisters. My worst relationships were men who had bad and neglectful relationships with their mothers. I didn’t pick up on it because I had a bad relationship with my mom and thought it was normal. Most men should have a healthy relationship with their (relatively stable) mom simply because moms tend to favor sons. The exes that loathed their hardworking, supportive moms were very a*****e in my case.
- 100% analyze relationship and responsibility with pets. My exes would treat and talk about pets like roommates. Cheap food and not much play. But my husband with his senile dog: I watched him hand feeding premium dog food, cooing, holding him with so much patience and love in his eyes like he was still a puppy. I literally almost cried watching him pour pure love into his dog. I wanted to be the dog 😭
- This is related to the dog thing, but how does he respond to inconvenience, people with illnesses or disabilities, or transient/cyclical conditions (including PMS and PMDD)? The way he was always inclusive and cared with urgency and no complaints, no matter what… versus my exes who would say I was being “lazy” or “dramatic” or “you need to figure that out, it’s not normal, but it’s not my problem” or couldn’t be bothered to QUICKLY get me an ice pack when I had a severe burn on my arm…
After seeing how my husband took care of me and others, I felt safe… EXAMPLE: a year into our relationship (already engaged), I choked on a fishbone for 20 hours (literally 19.5). He took me to the ER straight from the airport (I was solo traveling for most of the day). I was scared and helpless. I remember I was crying on the ER bed, drooling from late stage choking, scared, completely exhausted... The way he held me tightly and rubbed my back with pure love - even when he couldn’t do anything else - it was everything I needed and I relaxed enough to swallow the bone myself.
Deep down, I knew he could and WOULD take care of me always. He loves with his whole heart, and those signs showed me from the beginning. Been together for 3.5 years now, and every day feels like a blessing.
(Edits to take out extra words).
#15
Talk about consent and boundaries and see how they respond. If it bothers them that’s not good and also if they don’t keep their promises that’s a really bad sign. Does this person respect things that are important to you? How do they relate to your friends and family or even pets? Do they treat your property with care and respect?
#16
Yes – for the first date, reject his first suggestion regardless of what it is, and propose an alternate that is as similar as possible in terms of cost, convenience, etc.
"I'm not keen on that coffee shop, how about this one a block away?"
You're looking at how he responds when you assume equality. His reaction can show you whether he feels threatened by that: does he demand justification or even flat out refuse your alteration? does he complain about the venue when you get there, as if for the sake of it? Or on the other hand, does he bring it up in a positive way?
"These tables are too narrow; we should have gone somewhere else; I'm an expert on coffee you know; you shouldn't order that."
"I haven't been here before; those pastries look great; I'll try the house hazelnut syrup; what made you choose this café in particular?"
Which guy gets the second date?
#17
Rude to service workers or the opposite-being overly nice in order to curry favor. Being loud or obnoxious. Rude to elderly people and children.
#19
Watch how they deal with an inconvenience.
For instance, they badly need a specific item, and they call a store that's an hour away, and this store says they have it. They drive to the store, and the store does not actually have it. Are they able to roll with the punches, or do they throw a tantrum at the minimum wage store clerk?
#20
Ask them how their past relationships ended. If there is a lot of one-sided blame and no sense of learning/accountability of one’s own actions, that’s pretty much a no go from me. All of us make mistakes in relationships, sometimes we’re the problem. If they can’t cop to a least one thing they did and now do differently its easy to assume I will be the next victim of blame regardless.
I remember I was in a date with a guy and asked him about his exes and he proceeded to tell me how each and every one was crazy. After his monologue I said “Wow, you must really like crazy then.” He didn’t like that, lol.
Grumpy old man 2 months ago
My last real gf and I broke up because she got covid twice and I didnt know Type O is immune. This was before the vax/jab. The next two just wanted cash, so I walked away from that.
#22
Pay attention to the fact if everyone else in their life is the issue, not them.
Exes are crazy, coworkers are incompetent, their brother is an idiot, dad can’t do anything right, neighbors are rude. It may even be said in a backhanded complimentary way.
A guy I went out with once said on the second date that his brother didn’t appreciate all the nice stuff he did for him, I thought it was odd to share with a new date, but I let it go. That turned out to bite me later. Turned out he thought that about everyone in his life. If you see that pattern, run.
Maria Maria 2 months ago
I had this experience with a friend. Her exes were crazy and awful, her parents weren't doing enough for her, several former friends were bad, coworkers crazy and unfair, etc. When it's like that, you can be sure you are going to be next on that list. Also, if a person has no other friends than you, there is usually a reason.
#23
I can certainly echo watch how they react to minor inconveniences or frustrations.
Also how they react when you put up a boundary. I’m someone who needs alone time, and a lot of men/potential partners take that very personally rather than understanding that you have needs that have nothing to do with your feelings towards them.
When was their last dentist appointment that they set up themselves? Can they take care of themself? Can they remember details?
#24
When I online dated I would leave them on read for a day. Open the message, and not answer untill late evening or next day. I would of course apologize and say it slipped my mind/was busy all day. Just to see if they would bombard me with text and if so if they were angry.
So many did. From the "Helloooo, are you there?" to downright threats.
Edit: I would do this within the first week when it was still very casual.
#25
How do you feel about female body hair?
The answer tells me a ton about a man.
#26
When you first meet, do they listen and respond or wait for their turn to talk about (usually) themselves?
#27
Travel with them for a weekend.
Sandy Jones 2 months ago
I agree, Traveling with someone can be stressful & has a way of bringing out the worst in some people
#28
Just watch how they behave
- with someone that they have nothing to expect from. --> this is a huge red flag if they are all honey with someone they want something from, then are rude to a random person without valid reason
- when they are frustrated at someone/something --> This is a huge red flag if they start to blame violently anyone else around instead of acknowleding their responsibility, that is a huge red flag if they drive dangerousely to 'revenge' against someone one the road, ...
- do they respeect your boundaries ? or do they need to push it (even 'with kindness') ?
#30
Calmly and kindly express your authentic disagreement with something - an ethical principle, a date idea, an opinion - and see how they react.
#31
Do they listen when you talk?
Luke Branwen 2 months ago
I'll never understand men who complain about talkative women... I literally know nothing more attractive than a woman enthusiastically talking about something she's passionate about. I'll listen for hours if needed.
#32
If someone puts the trolley back at the supermarket. It doesn’t benefit them but is so telling of their overall character.
#33
Love bombing is quite an obvious sign. Wanting to spend every second with you. Being the exact person you need in that moment, if you’re going through a tough time they will be everything and more that u need. Financial problems, no problem, here’s the money. Showering you with gifts and compliments. Making you feel the most important special person in their lives. It’s not normal it’s not being kind or cute it’s manipulation and if done properly and successfully it always turns into an a*****e relationship that’s very hard to escape from.
I suppose while dating the test could be rearranging plans you had together and seeing how desperately they try to get you to change your mind/manipulate you into seeing them. A respectful person who is genuinely into you can accept a change of plans and rearrange. A red flag will go into overdrive trying to control the situation.
meeeeeeeeeeee 2 months ago
Tbf, aspies also don't like the plans being changed. It's not just abusers. If someone changed plans on me, I'd be very unimpressed because it physically pains me.
#35
Ask for their celebrity crush. I wrote a paper in college about attraction and found a few studies stating people were attracted to people they thought they shared characteristics with. Every guy who says Zoey Deschanel seems to be seeking a manic pixie dream girl, every guy who says Sydney Sweeney may not necessarily be looking beyond the surface, etc. Obviously the theory isn’t perfect, but my now husband said Hayley Williams. I hadn’t heard someone say that before and it opened a door into his music tastes. The best answer I ever heard was the cast of The Mummy, lol.
Luke Branwen 2 months ago
I don't have celebrity crushes... can I list my fictional crushes instead? 😅
#36
Be 6'1, agree to a date with a guy who says he's 6 ft tall. See how he reacts to being 4 to 5 inches shorter than you.
#37
Honestly impossible bc the worst red flags don't show that they're red. They will be green, make you get attached to them and then slowly shift into red when you're already deeply emotionally involved...
katiekat0214 2 months ago
Wrong. Learn how to spot red flags early because the tells are always there. However, I will say that yes, sometimes it takes a while for the mask to slip, the more successful a sociopath is. Lundy Bancroft says that around 18 months is when most masks come off. If someone is truly playing a long game, that's a whole other level of evil and manipulation.
#38
I ask what they think about the terms "reverse racism" and "reverse sexism.".
#39
Tbh I don't know if this is a litmus test, but I would ask them how they feel about animals. Unless they're allergic to dogs or cats, they should like one or the other (and if not, maybe a different kind of pet like a bird). Animals are very innocent, so if someone doesn't like them I think that says a lot about them. Maybe try sending them funny cat or dog videos and see their reaction. Do they laugh or are they unamused?
Mabelbabel 2 months ago
Maybe I'm old and boring, but I really would not want my phone clogged up with funny animal videos and pointless memes etc. I'd be a bit annoyed if someone continually spammed me with those.
#41
I see myself as a litmus test. With how people treat me I can gauge what kind of person they are.
#42
I used to ask them the following question on the first date:
*“What does it mean to you to be a good man?”*
It was a good conversation topic becasue we can talk about what makes a good person in general, they can talk about good male role models in their life, I can talk about mine, we can see if we are aligned on what it means to be a good man.
Then followed by:
*“What does masculinity mean to you?”*
If they get defensive or make it immediately about politics, done and done. I think it a great conversation topic.
If you use this make sure to explore the opposite yourself too! What does it mean to be a good woman and what femininity means to you!
#43
See how quickly / enthusiastically they respond when you need them to do something for you.
WindySwede 2 months ago
But also leave them on 'read'? But a quick respond from them for this? 🤷♂️
#44
When the soap dispenser pump in the bathroom is out of soap, how long does it take for them to replace it?
#45
How many long time friends they have.
Maria Maria 2 months ago
Nonsense. They may have moved around a lot because of family or work. That is the case with me.
#46
How they feel about skylar in breaking bad.
#47
This is very specific, but if you mention Beyoncé and they react with disproportionate negativity, there’s probably a problem. If it’s anything more than a “Not my type of music,” I know this person is likely not someone I want to spend time with. Beyoncé inhabits a very specific place in pop culture as a successful Black woman, and people who dislike her usually do so due to unchecked misogyny and/or racism. That’s not to say people can’t dislike her—but if they do so without nuance, they probably are just going along with everything they’ve ever heard about her unquestioningly. And I just don’t vibe with that, in friendship or romance.
Rafael 2 months ago (edited)
To repeat my comment about Taylor Swift in another entry (right now it is the previous one), which I think applies more or less the same: By coincidence had a similar talk about this with my wife. I don't hate her (Taylor Swift), I even like some of her music, and think she is pretty awesome by how she handled her scúmmy former record label. However, I'm tired of all the hype and adulation, and non stop media exposure. And some people can't separate this from "hating" the person. For Beyonce there's the additional racial layer that is very fúcked up right now in the US, and I kind of sidestep on account of being brown (so my "meh" dismissal of her music isn't normally taken as racial)
#48
I ask them how they feel about Taylor Swift. I don’t care if they like her music, that’s not what’s important. The red flags almost immediately show themselves if the guy says “oh I hate her” like dude, you don’t know her. I think you just hate women.
Rafael 2 months ago
By coincidence had a similar talk about this with my wife. I don't hate her (Taylor Swift), I even like some of her music, and think she is pretty awesome by how she handled her scúmmy former record label. However, I'm tired of all the hype and adulation, and non stop media exposure. And some people can't separate this from "hating" the person.
What do you think ?
Nils Skirnir 2 months ago
Many of these are red flags themselves. Glad I never had to date via on-line apps.
Uncle Panda 2 months ago
Playing games like this would constitute starting the relationship on dishonesty in my mind. I'd quit as soon as I realized that.
Uncle Panda 2 months ago
None of the items nor the title needed to be gendered. That was just a sleazy easy move to get clicks. That's pretty common here but Justin usually does better.
Emilu 2 months ago
So many of these could be gender-reversed, except I feel (perhaps unfairly, I'm not sure) that fewer men would be willing to play the games that some of these women are. I say this as a woman that's dated both men and women, so it's not like I detest women or anything like that, but I personally have never dated/heard of any acquaintance or friend, etc, dating a guy who would message a girl and then ghost her for a day or so just to see how she reacted to it, for example. Obviously I haven't dated everyone in the world and I'm sure there are people like this out there of both genders, but toxic behaviour is toxic, whether from man or woman.
Ol' Stevie 2 months ago
Wholeheartedly agree, none of this is gender specific.
Load More Replies... Papa 2 months ago
Is anyone else seeing ads that take up a third of your screen, won't go away, and clicking anywhere on the screen, even off the ad, goes to the site for the product being advertised? It's happened to me twice today, and the only way to make it go away is to close the browser window.
nottheactualphoto 2 months ago
Ublock Origin saved my sanity. It's a browser plugin. 100% worth having.
Load More Replies... L.V 2 months ago
Not a test, but a personal preference. I'm married, but back when I was dating, I didn't want to have s*x right away, I wanted to wait until I was confortable too do so. At least 4 ghosted me because I didn't want to do it after a couple dates, even though they said they originally wanted to date. Even had one saying it showed a "lack of commitment", because we hadn't done it after 2 weeks...
Debbie 2 months ago
This is still the case. I'm not sure how to explain "take it slow and get to know each other first" translates to let's get handy and kiss then on the second/, third date.
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Eileen Heath 2 months ago
Big red flag: "Hahaha kidding" after every comment, whether said or sent. And I do mean nearly every comment.
Maikai 2 months ago
Instead of going for a contrived predictable meet up, I wouldn’t waste any time. I’d shoot for getting to draw out their true colors by finding conditions that bring out critical thinking: e.g. bouldering, surfing, other basic active pursuits where interacting with others will be necessary & basic problem-solving skills will show up. This would also be an opportune set up for testing how one reacts to teamwork, agreeing to disagree, negotiating and being told no.
nottheactualphoto 2 months ago
"Bouldering?" Is that like "grey rocking?"
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FranSinclair 2 months ago (edited)
One thing ive done when interested in someone is ask their opinion on something "silly" like aliens or bigfoot and then playfully disagree, like "are you serious? You dont think...?!" Then i see how they handle that diffence of opinion. Did they get super defensive or argumentative, maybe call me dumb? Did they change their opinion to match mine? Or were we able to joke and "debate" and maybe even be able to understand that persons thought process. Thatll let me know their mentality. Are they dogmatic? Are they pretentious? Are they good communicators?
Nils Skirnir 2 months ago
Many of these are red flags themselves. Glad I never had to date via on-line apps.
Uncle Panda 2 months ago
Playing games like this would constitute starting the relationship on dishonesty in my mind. I'd quit as soon as I realized that.
Uncle Panda 2 months ago
None of the items nor the title needed to be gendered. That was just a sleazy easy move to get clicks. That's pretty common here but Justin usually does better.
Emilu 2 months ago
So many of these could be gender-reversed, except I feel (perhaps unfairly, I'm not sure) that fewer men would be willing to play the games that some of these women are. I say this as a woman that's dated both men and women, so it's not like I detest women or anything like that, but I personally have never dated/heard of any acquaintance or friend, etc, dating a guy who would message a girl and then ghost her for a day or so just to see how she reacted to it, for example. Obviously I haven't dated everyone in the world and I'm sure there are people like this out there of both genders, but toxic behaviour is toxic, whether from man or woman.
Ol' Stevie 2 months ago
Wholeheartedly agree, none of this is gender specific.
Load More Replies... Papa 2 months ago
Is anyone else seeing ads that take up a third of your screen, won't go away, and clicking anywhere on the screen, even off the ad, goes to the site for the product being advertised? It's happened to me twice today, and the only way to make it go away is to close the browser window.
nottheactualphoto 2 months ago
Ublock Origin saved my sanity. It's a browser plugin. 100% worth having.
Load More Replies... L.V 2 months ago
Not a test, but a personal preference. I'm married, but back when I was dating, I didn't want to have s*x right away, I wanted to wait until I was confortable too do so. At least 4 ghosted me because I didn't want to do it after a couple dates, even though they said they originally wanted to date. Even had one saying it showed a "lack of commitment", because we hadn't done it after 2 weeks...
Debbie 2 months ago
This is still the case. I'm not sure how to explain "take it slow and get to know each other first" translates to let's get handy and kiss then on the second/, third date.
Load More Replies... Eileen Heath 2 months ago
Big red flag: "Hahaha kidding" after every comment, whether said or sent. And I do mean nearly every comment.
Maikai 2 months ago
Instead of going for a contrived predictable meet up, I wouldn’t waste any time. I’d shoot for getting to draw out their true colors by finding conditions that bring out critical thinking: e.g. bouldering, surfing, other basic active pursuits where interacting with others will be necessary & basic problem-solving skills will show up. This would also be an opportune set up for testing how one reacts to teamwork, agreeing to disagree, negotiating and being told no.
nottheactualphoto 2 months ago
"Bouldering?" Is that like "grey rocking?"
Load More Replies... FranSinclair 2 months ago (edited)
One thing ive done when interested in someone is ask their opinion on something "silly" like aliens or bigfoot and then playfully disagree, like "are you serious? You dont think...?!" Then i see how they handle that diffence of opinion. Did they get super defensive or argumentative, maybe call me dumb? Did they change their opinion to match mine? Or were we able to joke and "debate" and maybe even be able to understand that persons thought process. Thatll let me know their mentality. Are they dogmatic? Are they pretentious? Are they good communicators?
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