Words being able to affect a person physically is an old, yet effective literary tool solely used in fiction. We all know it doesn’t actually cause physical pain, but drama!
But words can actually cause physical pain to a person, if it’s the right combination of them, of course. And the combination has to be a particular shade of stupid—so stupid, in fact, that it makes you put your hand on your face, which is the universal sign of “please reconsider many things in your life”.
What makes it even worse is not the stupid thing someone said, but a person actually believing the stupid thing that was said. And there is actually now a very appropriate list for that, because entertainment!
Bored Panda collected the best responses to an AskReddit post asking folks to share the dumbest things people actually thought were real, and put them into a neat little list below. And by this point you know what to do, so do it, and enjoy it.
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I was told a great story by a friend who attended a town meeting addressing the locals 5G mast concerns.
In attendance was a representative from the network company.
A selection of people were permitted to take the mic and rant for hours about how they'd all been getting headaches, feeling more low than usual, flowers had been wilting, their dog wasn't himself, all manner of things blamed on 5G.
Several hours later after everyone had their say and the crowd of hundreds had been whipped into a fever the company representative had his turn to speak and simply said "thank you everyone for your comments but we haven't turned it on yet."
There were people near an airport where I lived that constantly complained about the noise. The airport had been closed for several months, the complaints increased.
That everyones opinion has to carry the same weight as the one of someone who is proficient on a field and has dedicated hundreds of hours to obtain it.
AlbionRemainsXIV said:
Trickle-down economics.
Ultima_RatioRegum elaborated:
If you were told this in a vacuum without any knowledge of the outside world, then it may seem to make logical sense. However, I don't think this is one of those beliefs that people have due to stupidity. The reason many people believe this is due to a multi-decade misinformation campaign waged by the owning class against the working class (and by working class, I mean anyone whose primary source of income is wage labor, from tradespeople to rocket scientists).
This should be number 1 on the list. It’s how politicians dupe people into voting for them - just so the can continue to make themselves and the so/called “elite” richer, while driving everyone else into poverty.
TheOvercookedFlyer said:
That the earth is flat.
hard_baroquer explained
Adam Savage did a TED talk that not only did the ancient Greeks (and I'm sure many other societies at the time) realize the earth was spherical, but they also calculated the diameter to a small percentage point. All they needed was shadows at noon at two points, and trigonometry.
So with that much history going so far back, it's so crazy idiotic that people would disregard that knowledge.
That thousands of people coordinated, in several different states, to steal an election and left no evidence.
And a former president who is still, to this day, whining about the loss at every available opportunity. Pathetic.
And yet, his supporters still will do anything to defend him, despite his obvious… flaws, for lack of a more appropriate word.
Load More Replies...Funny part is that the Justice Department actually HAS found evidence of voter fraud and ballot tampering in the 2020 election. Just not by the Dems, but by Trumps cohorts lol
And the russians have been shown to have made a coordinated effort to influence elections but for some reason that is less important than a handfull of people who were proven to have voted when they were not allowed to?
Load More Replies...Trump is like a big baby who has always gotten his way and then when he doesn't he will throw a temper tantrum. Problem is that his whining has put so many people at risk and cost them their lives...capital riot as example. I really wish he would have taken his own advice and injected bleach.
People talk too much to be able to coordinate and keep a conspiracy silent.
Like the fake moon landings claim, this level of conspiracy would require humans to be a lot better at keeping secrets than we clearly are.
Plus, our enemies would have found out and spilled the secret to discredit us.
Load More Replies...THIS! And just because people couldn't believe their boy lost because everybody THEY talked to voted the same way THEY did. There is a simple explanation for that of course - they only talk to people who agree with them.
My favorite explanation was that Obama conspired with a secret Italian Military force to change votes using special spy satellites. Just wow
The idea that 10's of Thousands of people can collude and scheme to do ANYTHING and keep it 'secret' so successfully is preposterous. Two people can keep a secret - if one of them dies.
Interesting that there were 1,182 convictions of voter fraud that came from the 2020 election.
And all conspiracy theories as such...all of them assume enormous number or people perfectly coordinated and keeping complete secrecy, which is literally impossible to achieve even on purpose on much smaller level...
And this is WHY I do not like Democrats nor Republicans! And anyone who places their faith in them is nuts!
Trump went to court 60 times over election disputes and lost every time. And he never produced any of the "evidence" you claim exists. His lawyers never even made those claims. Strange, isn't it? As a judge in Pennsylvania said while throwing out a Trump suit, "To allege election fraud, you must have specifics and evidence. Here we have neither."
Load More Replies... That animals don’t feel emotions.
There are going to be people who reply to this comment that *still* insist animals don’t have emotions.
I used to work as a paralegal and had to fight with Social Security when they accused my clients of fraud. Got on a call with an agent who insisted my client was faking the disability her daughter had. The daughter died of the disability and it says it on the death certificate. The agent told me it wasn't enough proof.
How the f**k is there no proof how can a death certificate be f***ing not enough do you need a body to be exhumed do you need to be slapped with her corpse no you don’t you’re just being a little b***h about it(i’m sorry if that triggered anyone but please don’t downvote me downvote does not equal your lack of appreciation it equals me getting banned)
The BBC Spaghetti-Tree Hoax of April 1, 1957.
Writer's Note:
This was a BBC broadcast for April Fools' showing a family in Switzerland harvesting spaghetti from a tree. Back then, spaghetti as a product was not all that known in the UK, hence all the calls the station got for advice on growing spaghetti, completely oblivious to the fact that it's actually made from wheat flour and water.
spagbetti said:
Scientology
MorticiaLaMourante replied:
I said "religion" in general, but Scientology has to be one of the worst.
People that thought a 1/3 pound burger was smaller than a quarter pounder
That MLMs are a “small business” and not a pyramid scheme where there’s little to no chance of making/not losing money.
That if you ask an undercover cop if they’re a cop they’re required to answer honestly.
Babies feel no pain and they believed that until the 1970's so they would experiment on babies up until then because they didnt feel pain. Scary.
5G phone masts were spreading COVID. People actually burned them down because of that belief.
Babyfart_McGeezacks said:
Beanie babies as an investment strategy.
TemporalTickTock replied:
One of my all time favorite photos on the internet is that picture of that couple separating their beanie babies on the floor of a courtroom during their divorce.
As a dog owner, this would have been an investment that would have been eaten. I would be lucky if I had one survive.
RilohKeen said:
“I need to buy these iTunes gift cards in order to pay off the IRS!”
wap2005 replied:
My grandma fell for this scam, I think it was Safeway Gift Cards or something. They said if she didn't take care of it right away they would have to send the police to her house and she couldn't get ahold of me or my mother to ask so she just went and did it. Was like $4000 or something like that, was a few years ago now.
It really is a bummer that people take advantage of elderly people.
Got a PHYSICAL LETTER in the mail once that stated, we were to be arrested for some fraudulent activity yada yada, the best part was where the person wrote “The police are at this time driving to your house to arrest you. We can talk to the police officer and tell him to stop driving to your address to arrest you, if you send the gift cards” We laughed and had this mental image of some random police officer waiting by a post box to see if he can keep driving to arrest us.
In my feed, this post is right above the post quoting Berlusconi saying "Putin invaded Ukraine to put decent people in Kiev". So I'm gonna with that.
FantasticWriting502 said:
Horoscopes and anything astrology.
PLTuck replied:
I was doing a degree in Astronomy.
You wouldn't believe the number of people that started asking me about the meaning of their dreams and which rags horoscopes were the best. Even my DWP work coach thought I was doing a hokey pseudo degree, and then asked me to spell it!
I never understood why they call the study of something "logy" but for the study of space they use "nomy". Like is it because astro"logy" had already been used?
Valuable-Raccoon-734 said:
Those wrist bands that “give you energy”. 🙄
superwetpajamas replied:
Almost as good as the wristbands that keep you balanced.
Independent-Bike8810 explained:
I wanted to see what the scam was once in a mall where they were selling these. They first yank on your arm throwing you off balance easily. Then they put on the bracelet an yank on your arm again and you are magically steady as a rock. The impression is strong until you realize all that happened was that you were not caught off guard and were able to anticipate the force that was about to be applied and unconsciously braced for the yank.
When we went to see the Martian in theaters, at the end some woman behind us told her friend, “I can’t believe I missed this. When did this happen?”
Credit to the team who made the film, it felt like a real life experience.
That fake ad for apple phones getting the capability to charge via microwaving. Buncha people put their iPhones in their microwaves and fried em.
Kittypie75 said:
That posting "I will not allow Facebook to sell my photos" yada yada ON Facebook somehow makes their terms of service invalid.
G8kpr replied:
As bad as “if you forward this email, bill gates will pay you $1 for every person it gets forwarded to.”
My friend sent me that, and I said “why... why would Bill Gates care if you forwarded that email, how would he track how it got forwarded, he would have to pay out millions if not more. But what does it gain him?”
He said “I dunno, but it can’t hurt.”
I said "yeah, you’re sending me s#$t. Don’t do it."
Sheriff___Bart said:
Ripping the tag off of the mattress. I accidentally ripped one while moving, the movers said I'd go to jail, so I hid in my room. I was about 5.
CouncilmanRickPrime replied:
Why is that even a thing people said?
Murgatroyd314 explained:
“UNDER PENALTY OF LAW THIS TAG NOT TO BE REMOVED EXCEPT BY THE CONSUMER”
What it actually means is that stores aren’t allowed to sell a mattress without that tag detailing what it’s made of. When the tags first appeared, some big name comedian came up with a bit speculating about why the tag was there and what the penalty would be, conveniently leaving off the last four words.
In prison, it's the height of rudeness to ask another inmate why they're there. I would tell people I had ripped the tag off a mattress. There were people stupid enough to believe me.
Bad luck associated with the number "13."
I could say any superstition is dumb, but this one is so engrained that hotels won't even have a floor called the 13th. In the elevator, the numbers go from 12 to 14.
Cow tipping
Cows don't sleep standing up. That's not a thing!
The amount of people I have met who have claimed to have knocked over a cow while standing up is crazy!
I don't understand why people claim to do it. I have met tourists who claim to have done it back in their home country all the time. No farming background or nothing. They will confidently tell me I am wrong even though they have never worked around cattle.
Practical_Past1626 said:
I thought it was illegal to keep the lights on in the car until I was like 14.
My parents are liars.
SockaSockaSock replied:
I believed that if you had the air conditioning on and the windows open at the same time in the car or in a house it could create an air pressure imbalance that could suck you out the window. My parents were also liars.
AJray15 said:
JFK Jr being alive is one of the more idiotic things I’ve seen recently.
git replied:
I think this in combination with the various Trumpist/QAnon/pizzagate/Seth Rich/Big Lie conspiracy theories is the right answer to OP.
Like, there are simpler obviously-wrong things out there that might be more egregious than falling into Trumpism, but the combination of all these different things and the confusion of ideas in maintaining belief in them all at once probably takes the crown for 'dumbest'.
Even worse: They claim that JFK & JFK Jr, both committed Democrats, in a family of Democrats, not only magically survived, but also support Trump.
vulpixtwosix said:
That sharing those posts on Facebook means they actually have a chance of winning a 5* luxury getaway.
TotallyNotARobot2 replied:
We have an extra 150k car laying around that we just need to get rid of. All you have to do is share this post.
nucleoli replied:
Our last winner was only 17!!! So he couldn’t accept this Lamborghini
MrsZ- replied:
This actually happened live on Australian TV once on a show called Rove Live. Went to the guys house, presented him with the car then found out he was on 17.
A lot of people fall for the scams around a company selling you a device you plug into an outlet in your home and it "reduces your electricity bill". You'd honestly be surprised how many people have paid money for these and even swear by them even though it's 100% snake oil and incredibly dumb to think it would do anything.
I remember those. I also remember laughing at my MIL when she bought one
LeCriDesFenetres said:
My potential.
Seeker80 replied:
Your potential is unlimited. Just invest in your future, and you'll be on the path to making sure that you'll be all that you can be. It's all about security in the future. If you invest now, you can be confident that everything is taken care of.
And that's how Amway can help you.
FukaseGeiCactus said:
Posts that start with "Science says/ Psychology says... etc." without the actual research study links.
FirstSurvivor replied:
Even with a link, half misunderstand the article or make wildly exaggerated claims (no, curing something in mice doesn't mean it will be possible to do the same with humans, it's not even that likely the research will apply to humans, but we can't do that research to humans so we use mice).
That and research articles whose results cannot be replicated...
[The Fiji Mermaid] was a pretty successful scam
Writer's Note:
It's effectively a torso of a young monkey sewn together with the back of a large fish. Sideshows used to use it as a prop, a mummified one, supposedly pointing out the existence of mermaids (mer-people?).
"The rain follows the plow" In the 1800s American West this was *everywhere*. The idea was that agriculture would bring rain and make farming super easy. Supposedly, when grasslands were turned into cultivated fields, the soil would release moisture into the air. Then human activity like factories or trains would make vibrations that formed rain clouds. Eventually the idea expanded to [straight-up bombing the air with dynamite on kites]
I used to be so confused about the amount of time it would take to make movies because I was convinced they did it all in chronological order and when they did flashbacks to childhood, I was like “wow those actors are so committed” or I would think it must take a long time for their hair to grow or change in anyway and never considered it could be a wig lol
Edit: Yes, I have heard of the movie Boyhood. It came out when I was 22, so well past my perception of movies being made that way, but it definitely reminded me of this when I first heard of it and I thought it was really cool that someone actually did that
We just did the Warner Brothers tour and they told us the scene in Jurassic Park where they're driving away from the T-Rex and Jeff Goldbloom's character says "must drive faster" that whole scene was filmed along a 50 foot stretch of road they have on their back lot. The just kept driving up and down the same stretch. There's a tree on that road that's in that movie over 40 times.
“Dumb people” is me but, when I was a kid, I used to believe that EVERY dad is Santa Claus because of the “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” song.
Well it’s closer to the truth than one old fat guy delivers presents worldwide in one night
Greg0r_Samsa said:
That Michael Jackson's nose fell off.
gramineous replied:
Ooh, I used this back in high school to trick a mate of mine!
I had a long-term issue with constant nosebleeds growing up, and at one point had a nose cauterization done to help. Instead of telling my friend what actually happened at the doctor's, I said I'd been scheduled for surgery to get my nose removed to deal with the issue, and would get a prosthetic nose for afterwards, citing Michael Jackson as an example of a nose removal.
Today she murdered the bathroom rug, and hid one of her mice under it. At least I didn't have to bathe with it.
I used to believe that in my Nana's bathroom, if the lights were off and the vent was on, it would blow ghosts through the vents. No, this was not influenced by anyone or anything, this was all me.
Today she murdered the bathroom rug, and hid one of her mice under it. At least I didn't have to bathe with it.
I used to believe that in my Nana's bathroom, if the lights were off and the vent was on, it would blow ghosts through the vents. No, this was not influenced by anyone or anything, this was all me.