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30 Important But Hard-To-Swallow Life Truths, As Shared By Women In This Online Group
Life is full of surprises, and nobody can guarantee you that these surprises will only be positive. There are nearly 8 billion folks on this planet, living with their own quirks and personalities, and chances are someone on your way will end up disappointing you. It's safe to say that one of the most crucial reasons why everything is, more or less, emotionally tiring is because we attach our happiness to others.
We struggle to accept our importance, and we only pay attention to how we can satisfy everyone else around us. We put ourselves aside, forgetting that we're supposed to thrive and not survive – though, for most of us, this sort of epiphany comes with age when you finally understand that there's no more room for negativity.
An online user wondered and took it to one of Reddit's communities to ask women to share their own versions of hard-to-swallow pills they've managed to learn over the years. The post received nearly 4K upvotes and 1.5K worth of emotional yet encouraging stories.
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You can do everything right and still get f**ked. You can’t control that.
"It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life." - Jean-Luc Picard
That no one cares. This sounds pessimistic but I really don’t mean it that way. When it comes to medical issues, boundaries with friends, or relationships, no one cares about you the way you do, and no one will advocate for you the way you can. You need to value yourself and take action as if no one else will, because in all likelihood, they won’t.
I tell my daughter this bc I want her to be prepared when I'm not here anymore. I will fight for her tooth and nail but I still don't know exactly what she's going through only she does and she needs to learn how to advocate for herself even if it means a raging angry fight.
Don’t assume people will treat you with the same kindness you treated them with.
You can be every thing they want- and they will want something else.
I am never going to be thin and that’s perfectly fine. Turns out it’s a lot easier to live your life when you’re not constantly consumed with hating your own body!
You can do everything right in college and have honors, connections, and experience, and still not find a career when you graduate
If a man is pushy about small things he will probably be pushy in other ways too.
I wish this was talked about more. I've been married to a "pushy" guy for 20 years. The implication in this post is that it veers towards sexual or physical abuse, but it doesn't always. My husband is neither, but his pushiness has destroyed parts of our life that we can never fully repair. Pushy people aren't all motivated by the same things, but the end result will be horrifying regardless, if unchecked. Rule #1 in life, set clear boundaries. Rule #2, maintain those boundaries at all costs.
Not everyone who comes into your life is meant to stay. Regardless of how much it hurts, sometimes you just have to let people go.
“That’s life And as funny as it may seem Some people get their kicks Stomping on a dream But I don't let it, let it get me down Cause this fine old world, it keeps spinnin' around” -Frank Sinatra
That sometimes you can be the toxic one, even if you have the best intentions. Accountability is important
Your parents are people too with their own issues.
My parent's issues were each other. One night when I was 15, they got into a huge fight. I had had enough of this in my life. I got up, took my mother's car and left. I came back the next morning to get some clothes, and my mom shows up. I told her I was leaving and would not come back until they divorced, and I didn't. She gave me $200 and the car to use. I left town, and they divorced. We were all happier. Parents should never stay together " for the kids." All you end up with is mentally disabled children. I speak from experience.
That misogyny is so deeply ingrained in most cultures that most people don't recognize it when they look it in the eyes.
And that women, acting from internalized misogyny, can be as dangerous to you in non-sexual ways as men.
From Emma Watson’s HeForShe gender equality speech: “Feminism should not be man-hate” I might get downvoted for this but I think it is important to remember. Double standards exist. The feminism I support is seeking gender equality, not a power shift from men to women
feminism never was about hating men. that's just terrible framing
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Calling people a pussy is the one that comes to mind for me. Even women use it as a description of weakness in others. A part of the female body= weakness because being any part of a woman is the worst thing you can be to a man. Meanwhile, it's actually an incredibly strong part of the body. It can take a beating. Testicles on the other hand...
Pussy is derived from pussy cat. Cats are easily frightened. It doesn't come from the female body part, that's a myth.
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I was raised by a misogynistic single mother. I was the 2nd of 4 kids. My older brother got many privileges and freedoms that I never did, while I had the majority of the household responsibilities. She would say things like "well he can go to that party because he can't get pregnant". I also took care of my 2 younger siblings, while my brother got to leave for extracurricular activities and his job, whenever he wanted. I made sure to not follow that model of parenting for my own daughter. And now that my mother is raising 3 of my sister's kids, I tell her when she is being unreasonable and antiquated. She's not perfect but she listens to me now.
I'm often horrified at work, seeing how brutal and backstabbing women can be with each other... I mean, isn't it hard enough that society is structured this way? Civilization it turns out, is not at all civlized.
Civilization is merely people saying “Look, I farm and build fancy things!” Being the most “civilized” people are tribes in Africa, the Amazon and south east Asia. They are pretty chill and not rapey-murdery unlike the cultures who called them uncivilized.
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I have had my share of meeting really horrible women physicians. It’s bad enough having a male physician be a POS, it’s worse when it’s a woman. Women can be absolutely vicious to each other
isn't that Misogynie too? saying that the same behavior is worse in women than in men?
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"How can I be sexist? I'm a woman!" Guess what, you still can if you set expectations and limitations on other women. Including the ones you might raise.
*on a post about misogyny* "but look, men suffer too!" And yes, I know you're referring to the damage to the sign, but... But not the time or place, dude.
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Too many times seeing women pulling each other down or buying into the idea they can't do things they can do perfectly well.
Again, with this sh*t. **Misandry** Look it up, it's the female side of misogyny. They're both severely dangerous mentalities and both are mentally abusive.
Women who experience sexism: afraid to walk at night because they might get raped, 60%+ of female homicide victims are the cause of a family member or partner, 90%+ of porn depicts women being degraded and abused, cultures foot binded, chest pressed, and put little girls into menstruation huts, some cultures still don't allow little girls access to education, 9 year olds are being sold of like cattle to 40 year old men as wives and forced to carry their children at 12 Men who experience sexism: men can't cry :(
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Misogyny and misandry. Both are horrible. But misogyny is socially recognized and abhorred. Misandry is not even recognized as a word by auto correct, let alone society.
Misogyny is real, but so is misandry disguised as feminism. If it benefits one, but hurts another then it's not equality.
Do you say black lives matter is racist because it only benifts black people?
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What BS. Misandry is just as prevalent as misogyny, just more ignored. Just like the sexist post about pushy men.
Perhaps I am misunderstanding, but women can be dangerous sexually too
To fully eradicate the mysogeny ingrained in our culture would mean a total overhaul to our language. For example, Calling women “girls” or “ladies” or referring to a group of people as “guys” is a small sampling of how we are both infantilized and disregarded by our own f’ing language. Change will only come with a total upheaval of the current systems and cultural mores. I’m talking a reverse hand maids tale type situation.
This is so true. We always have that inclination to negative self talk, because we are girls, we are taught to care about our weight to the point that gaining 5 lbs makes us feel fat. That's only one example. There are so many more ways we internalize mysogeny.
Lol i got taught school same becouse i dont have muscles. Feel bad about fat and obsess about muscle. Face it many issues faced by women have male variant too.
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Also, just because you think something is misogyny, it doesn't mean it is.
Some people wear victimhood like a pair of comfy pajamas on cold winter's night.
"I wear makeup for me. Because I like how I feel when I wear it." Or whatever reason you use. Imagine what it feels like to know you don't need to paint your face to be seen as attractive. To feel pretty. To be good enough.
Men shave their beards or trim them. Are they not good enough if they just let it go? They can go to the gym and run or not and look different. Sacrafice to move up the ladder. Do people tend to look better when they enhance nature and age more gracefully?
Load More Replies... That word gets thrown around way to easily these days though. Not every slight or insult has it basis in misogyny. When you act like it does your just subscribing to pathetic victim mentality so rampant today. And basically make women look weaker because of it. This BS "toxic masculinity" mantra is so pervasive it's now embarassing
Tell us you don't know what you're talking about without telling us.
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I doubt it. Don't confuse personally unacceptable aspects (the results of evolutionary development) of reality with intentional (or unintentional) "hatred".
Not believing someone when they’ve been abused…even when everyone knows he’s nasty and disrespectful…oh but he’s popular so you know, we’ll dismiss it. Shame on you for bringing it up.
Cutthroat competition for male attentuon, cattiness, "the devil wears Prada"...as a prodycr of a girls boarding school I have no illusions.
Just a little info for women, men do get an menopause but it was scretched intro several decades of problems. And yes men menopause is directly connected to mid life crysis in men.
That misandry is so deeply ingrained in most cultures that most people don't recognize it when they look it in the eyes. And that men, acting from internalized misandry, can be as dangerous to you in non-sexual ways as women.
Also, just because you think something is misogyny, doesn't mean it is.
I did, worked with them voth young and old did not have same problems as you. You most likely been victim of it and started obsesively looking for it, so hard that you started to see it where it isnt. Also many women are calling personal issues aa misigony.
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It's actually not tho... Maybe in the US, I dunno but the US isn't "the world". The rest of the world don't hate women. Considering the laws you have in America, I find it hard to believe there is any wide spread or "ingrained" misogyny there either, but I don't live in America so how would I know.
There are reverse problem s in the world, i was not hired several times becouse inwas not an woman. Ps i live in czech republic and there are real problems near here like an ukraine situation.
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I suffered from internalized misogyny so bad and for so long that I wanted to be a boy. While being a FtM is a very real thing, there are still many cases of females like me that think they're trans when in reality they're just victims of internalized misogyny.
Sorry to hear that, you were wery unlucky to get intro such toxic enviroment.
Load More Replies... Misogyny is a catch all term for anything women don't like. I don't see women lining up to run into burning buildings or stand at the front lines of war.
Misogyny is what happens when women break ranks or roles and disrupt the patriarchal order: they tend to be perceived as uppity, unruly, out of line, or insubordinate. Misogyny is not an undifferentiated hatred of women—which, in light of women’s social roles, would make little sense on men’s part. Why would a man disparage the women looking up at him admiringly, or bite the hands that soothe and serve him? Misogyny isn’t simply hateful; it imposes social costs on noncompliant women, who are liable to be labeled witches, bitches, sluts, and “feminazis,” among other things.
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Yep. My ex's mom, believing it was her fault if her husband yelled and degraded her....I disclosed that my ex had gotten physical and she asked, "What did you do to provoke him?" Really knocked me down in one of the darkest most desperate times in my life and convinced me that maybe it was my fault. So I stayed.
Princess is a good example of how you'll run the world into the ground because most women here in the states are so f*****g spoiled, they could never survive a day in an actual third world misogyny. Try telling a a Muslim to stop beating women and see where that gets you, spoiled rotten little brats. Go live in Afghanistan for a week, see if you're still alive.
What you're really saying is, "misogyny isn't misogyny unless you're in a 3rd world country getting beaten". Which is 1) wildly inaccurate and 2) proves your lack of understanding on the topic. Just because Bob is beating Tina in that country doesn't mean Shelly in that country isn't allowed to feel the discrimination she faces nor should she be shamed for having those feelings.
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….. it’s because misandry isn’t as bad Obviously it’s not good to be prejudiced against other people, but a) often times “misandry” is just women taking precautions and b) even if someone truly hates men for no reason, that hate simply will not cause as much damage as misogyny will. A few women hating men will not cause rape culture against men, will not cause prejudiced laws, will not cause men to be genuinely afraid of every woman they see, will not cause almost every man to be catcalled.
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That there is often little to no correlation between effort and outcome. I've been successful at some things with little effort and a lot of luck. I've poured my entire soul into other things and still utterly failed.
Just because you’re not good at something you love, doesn’t mean you should stop doing it ❤️ you don’t have to be a master at everything you do, if ur a bad singer, sing your heart out, if you’re a bad drawer, draw everyday:) be kind to yourself, you deserve it
There’s going to come a point where the right thing to do won’t feel good at all. There are some things in life that you have to do, and they will break you down and hurt more than anything. But they’re still the right thing. And you will have to live with that.
Your parents don’t actually always know or want what’s best for you, sometimes it is what’s best for them and/or the society they lived in.
After about the age of 25 I realized I had to work to stay healthy - physically and otherwise. Did not see that coming and it felt really unfair at first, then I realized that if that's my bar for unfair then I've had a pretty f**king good life so far and I should count my blessings and go run.
I'm a runner and it gets harder every year to keep going. Got a peloton to see if that's easier. It's not. Exercise and watching your calorie intake is the only thing that keeps you feeling good at every age. You will still go through middle age and gain weight and have pain and have some issues w your health but taking care of yourself is all you really have that helps ease aging
I overthink too much. Don't overthink everything or you will make yourself miserable.
People still dont owe you anything even if you're willing to risk your life for them. It's still their decision if they're gonna lift a finger for you and you shouldn't feel entitled for anyone's time and attention.
Very few people care about you. Like at all. Even most of your acquaintances and relatives; often even so-called friends.
Exceptions exist for a select small group of "special" people.
It always baffles me at how much love and respect I feel for friends or distant family, and how little I get back. It hurts me to know that they don’t care about me like I care about them and it confuses me, like am I a bad person? Is that why they don’t return my respect. You would think it’s just common courtesy
People will think the worst of you no matter how good you try to be.
You can wait until circumstance motivates you out of your bad habits, but banking on future motivation risks you wasting most of your life.
You can count on both, just don’t let yourself wait too long to get motivation.
That seeing someone's potential means nothing unless they try to fulfill it on their own
Yeah, and just because someone is good at something doesnt' mean they have an interest in pursuing a career out of it or will do anything for you for free. If you really value someone's craft, then put value in it in return by paying them.
That the only person who’s gonna take care of me, is me.
If they like you, you won’t be confused
I'm always confused. Throwing another human in the mix doesn't make my brain work
Only you can be the hero you needed as a kid.
Ooh, it's called reparenting in some therapy models. Learning to talk to yourself in a nurturing parent voice and learning to advocate for yourself is hard but worth it.
"You let them treat you that way."
-My therapist on the takers in my life of giving endlessly.
And we do. For whatever reason, we go above and beyond to help. Over and over again. I finally had to delete a couple of people from my life, literally. It's hard, but I am better for it.
Looks do matter. To be successful, you need to put effort in your appearance to get the proper respect you deserve. Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg may be able to get away with wearing the same shirt and jeans but if you do it, no one will take you seriously
Be clean and do your job. Nobody notices you as much as you notice yourself.
He's just not into you
Note: this post originally had 36 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
So many 'You can only trust yourself' type of posts. I find it a little sad (in a non-condescending way).
We are social creatures. We need to trust others. So these are just negative views. Instead of being narcissistic jerks we need to be loving and understanding. Yes people have bad days but as a whole we shouldn't be doing things that hurt others. This "me first" mentality is destroying humanity. Continue being kind, hold the door for someone, smile and cut out the sarcasm the world will be better for it.
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You can get used to anything. Don't get used to the thing that makes you complacent.
I had a friend, she was chilling with another person, starting a relationship. One day her buddy came home from work and told my friend that if she was going to use her things, she needed to put them back the way she found them. My friend was upset and hurt. I spent almost a week validating her feelings <——key word.. When the time was right I asked her…”do you want to know how I perceive this issue, having not dog in the fight”, she said yes. I told her she was 100% in the wrong and why, and asked her to put herself in her buddy’s position. She stared at me wide eyed, picked up the phone to immediately start to apologize to her buddy. Some people need those feelings validated and expressed before they can see or accept reality. That’s okay, it was her process. Not good, not bad, not right, not wrong. The process just is, it’s what you do with the knowledge you gain that matters. Some of us can do better, some are doing all they can, some don’t give a s**t.
Some of these are mildly subjective I think. EDIT: lol VERY subjective
You can't make someone love you more by trying to make them love someone else less.
This is a real pessimistic way of looking at life and people. We need to trust others, love one another, dare to be loved and hurt by others (Because this is how we learn)and most of all dream big! Life's to big for this negative pessimistic point of view.
Learn to say "No", professionally and socially. People want your time, money, or emotions. While helping can be what makes you happy, sometimes it's what drains you.
People need to learn they can't change others. They are entitled to their own opinions and to be who they want. You can only change your own actions to become the best person you can. Once we all figure that out, we'll all be in a better place.
I love how it blames men mostly.. How about you guys tell little girls stop being wh#$- or stop idolizing musical woman who are half naked always.. Stop thinking only fans makes you independent.. No showing your body just because it's yours doesn't make it right.. It's no feminism it's stupidity.. Stop blaming men and start looking in the mirror.. sad to see these post... They always blame some race or gender ands it pathetic
Oh. This hit a nerve ehh? Guilty conscience? Been accused of being an ass much? Wondering why women don't like you?
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You are not good thru and thru, and neither are you totally evil. Everyone has both good and bad sides. The trick is to work to strengthen your good sides and make the bad sides smaller.
These people should move to republican land. None of that bad stuff happens in republican land.
These people should move to republican land, none of that bad stuff happens in republican land.
This could have been an article to people, not just women. #31, people will try to divide you into tribes to increase their control over you.
Life wouldn't be that difficult if you ladies would just accept the facts women belong in the home, behind the kitchen. Raising the children and instilling core values and morals. This is a man's world. And you lack the strength to change that. Why did we change what was working for hundreds of years. Capitalism happened. A cheaper work force, means more profits for big businesses. Corporate Capitalist Pigs. Women had a moment, but they squandered that chance. Now it time to rein that s**t in!
if you read all of these and feel like garbage afterwards, you might just not be one of those people who experience these issues every day. we need to accept that people aren’t always going to be there for us and that our issues aren’t going to disappear bc we had a good day. these will lead to more healing than you want to believe. ik i sure need to hear it from time to time. reminds me that i can’t expect the world to heal bc i want it to. i can only do what i can do and that’s okay.
So of this blend in together, or just a tad ignorant, all of this applies to all sexes to not just women. Still fun read on what average people think. =:3
It's not that other people suck. It's just that you can't change anyone but yourself. If you need a situation you're in to change, you need to change yourself. Because you are the only one that you CAN change.
The idea that, "There is someone for everyone", is a load of crap. I'm a nice and decent human being with my sh°t together. I don't brag about it, feel entitled, or think I'm owed anything. It's just who I am. Yet, I've been alone most of my life. Women are not attracted to me, even though I'm average looking. I just can't understand why the a**holes of the world are the ones who end up in relationships, and are the ones who women are attracted to. No wonder why some women think that all men are jerks.
So many 'You can only trust yourself' type of posts. I find it a little sad (in a non-condescending way).
We are social creatures. We need to trust others. So these are just negative views. Instead of being narcissistic jerks we need to be loving and understanding. Yes people have bad days but as a whole we shouldn't be doing things that hurt others. This "me first" mentality is destroying humanity. Continue being kind, hold the door for someone, smile and cut out the sarcasm the world will be better for it.
Load More Replies... You can get used to anything. Don't get used to the thing that makes you complacent.
I had a friend, she was chilling with another person, starting a relationship. One day her buddy came home from work and told my friend that if she was going to use her things, she needed to put them back the way she found them. My friend was upset and hurt. I spent almost a week validating her feelings <——key word.. When the time was right I asked her…”do you want to know how I perceive this issue, having not dog in the fight”, she said yes. I told her she was 100% in the wrong and why, and asked her to put herself in her buddy’s position. She stared at me wide eyed, picked up the phone to immediately start to apologize to her buddy. Some people need those feelings validated and expressed before they can see or accept reality. That’s okay, it was her process. Not good, not bad, not right, not wrong. The process just is, it’s what you do with the knowledge you gain that matters. Some of us can do better, some are doing all they can, some don’t give a s**t.
Some of these are mildly subjective I think. EDIT: lol VERY subjective
You can't make someone love you more by trying to make them love someone else less.
This is a real pessimistic way of looking at life and people. We need to trust others, love one another, dare to be loved and hurt by others (Because this is how we learn)and most of all dream big! Life's to big for this negative pessimistic point of view.
Learn to say "No", professionally and socially. People want your time, money, or emotions. While helping can be what makes you happy, sometimes it's what drains you.
People need to learn they can't change others. They are entitled to their own opinions and to be who they want. You can only change your own actions to become the best person you can. Once we all figure that out, we'll all be in a better place.
I love how it blames men mostly.. How about you guys tell little girls stop being wh#$- or stop idolizing musical woman who are half naked always.. Stop thinking only fans makes you independent.. No showing your body just because it's yours doesn't make it right.. It's no feminism it's stupidity.. Stop blaming men and start looking in the mirror.. sad to see these post... They always blame some race or gender ands it pathetic
Oh. This hit a nerve ehh? Guilty conscience? Been accused of being an ass much? Wondering why women don't like you?
Load More Replies... You are not good thru and thru, and neither are you totally evil. Everyone has both good and bad sides. The trick is to work to strengthen your good sides and make the bad sides smaller.
These people should move to republican land. None of that bad stuff happens in republican land.
These people should move to republican land, none of that bad stuff happens in republican land.
This could have been an article to people, not just women. #31, people will try to divide you into tribes to increase their control over you.
Life wouldn't be that difficult if you ladies would just accept the facts women belong in the home, behind the kitchen. Raising the children and instilling core values and morals. This is a man's world. And you lack the strength to change that. Why did we change what was working for hundreds of years. Capitalism happened. A cheaper work force, means more profits for big businesses. Corporate Capitalist Pigs. Women had a moment, but they squandered that chance. Now it time to rein that s**t in!
if you read all of these and feel like garbage afterwards, you might just not be one of those people who experience these issues every day. we need to accept that people aren’t always going to be there for us and that our issues aren’t going to disappear bc we had a good day. these will lead to more healing than you want to believe. ik i sure need to hear it from time to time. reminds me that i can’t expect the world to heal bc i want it to. i can only do what i can do and that’s okay.
So of this blend in together, or just a tad ignorant, all of this applies to all sexes to not just women. Still fun read on what average people think. =:3
It's not that other people suck. It's just that you can't change anyone but yourself. If you need a situation you're in to change, you need to change yourself. Because you are the only one that you CAN change.
The idea that, "There is someone for everyone", is a load of crap. I'm a nice and decent human being with my sh°t together. I don't brag about it, feel entitled, or think I'm owed anything. It's just who I am. Yet, I've been alone most of my life. Women are not attracted to me, even though I'm average looking. I just can't understand why the a**holes of the world are the ones who end up in relationships, and are the ones who women are attracted to. No wonder why some women think that all men are jerks.
