“Rules Don’t Apply To Grandma”: Parents Keep Baby Away From Grandma After Custard Incident
As kids, we love going to our grandparents since we know the rules are way more lax there than at home. As parents, grandparents ignoring our rules and practices often gives us a headache. Indeed, 37% of parents admit having at least minor disagreements with grandparents about their parenting choices.
But the drama that ensued after this grandma fed a baby custard is one for the books. The parents got so mad at her saying “Rules don’t apply to grandma” that now they’re threatening to ban visits altogether. The story had people arguing over what’s a boundary and what’s just a personal preference when it comes to parenting.
A grandma feeding a baby custard snowballed into wild family drama
Image credits: Anastasia Zhenina/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The parents started threatening to ban visits if the grandparents didn’t keep up with their rules
Image credits: Hans Isaacson/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Mysterious-File9406
Nutritional experts say that babies best not have sugar
Image credits: Daniel Thomas/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Parenting today is hard. With so many resources available, moms and dads might feel bombarded with information and unsure of what to include in their parenting strategy.
In fact, aside from exhaustion (61%), overwhelm (48%) and anxiety (32%) are the most common emotions parents experience in the first year of their baby’s life.
A baby’s diet can be a real minefield for first-time parents. These parents worry about their son consuming sugar. But is sugar really that bad for babies?
Most experts say “yes.” The NHS warns: “Your baby does not need sugar.” They claim that consuming sugary drinks and foods would only result in early tooth decay.
Pediatric dietician Lucy Upton adds that adding sugar to a baby’s diet may rob them of consuming other vital vitamins and nutrients.
“It’s recommended that babies and young children six months to two years of age generally avoid any added or free sugars for multiple reasons, from a health and development perspective,” she explains.
“There’s potential for increased energy intake, and crucially for children this risks displacement of other nutrients they require for health and development.”
Giving babies too much sugar can backfire later in life
Image credits: Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Other experts even advise not giving babies added sugar until they’re 12 months old. Lisa Bodnar, one of the researchers behind the guidelines on feeding infants and children, advocates for limiting or eliminating added sugars from babies’ diets.
She argues that sugar overconsumption at an early age might have negative health repercussions later, such as:
- Childhood obesity;
- Cardiovascular disease;
- And tooth decay.
It’s also very important to encourage a baby to eat healthy foods early on. Studies suggest that what we eat at an early age can shape our food preferences for life.
Therefore, nutritionists encourage parents to give babies as many different-tasting foods as possible, rather than just sweet ones. “Sweet food will always be easily and well accepted, so it’s important children have a variety of other tastes and food experiences,” Lucy Upton said.
If babies are having custard, the best choice is homemade and sugar-free
Image credits: Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Custard in itself isn’t a bad food for babies. If it’s store-bought and contains added sugars, then it’s possibly a no-no. Yet feeding custard to a baby has benefits:
- If made with milk, it contains calcium, which babies need for strong bones and teeth.
- Due to its smooth texture, it’s easily digestible for babies who are transitioning to solid foods.
- The carbohydrates in custard are a quick source of energy.
- If the custard contains eggs, it’s an excellent source of protein.
At the same time, there are some risks of feeding your baby custard:
- Dairy and eggs can be allergens for some babies, especially if they are lactose intolerant;
- Some babies may experience constipation because of the rich and creamy texture;
- If the custard contains sugar, it may cause tooth decay and unhealthy weight gain.
Blogger Nicola from Mummy to Dex writes that custard can be a great food for baby-led weaning. She advocates for making the custard at home. Instead of adding sugar or chocolate, she suggests using fruit since it contains natural sugars.
People thought both sides were acting like jerks, and some details in the story made people think the parents are “over the top ridiculous” with their rules and expectations
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OP and his wife sound exhausting. You know who will l WILL go no-contact with his parents? OP's son in 17 years. He'll prolly go live with Grandma Custard who's been secretly communicating with him.
Upvote for saying what I was thinking and for the name Grandma Custard
Load More Replies...Absolutely gobsmacked .... Both sides are in the wrong but SERIOUSLY these new parents need to breathe, exhale, re evaluate their perspective and make sane decisions
Yeah! Blackmailing someone into going to therapy is such a great idea..
Load More Replies...Can we please require a permit to reproduce so that lunatics like OP and his wife won't birth some kid with the sole purpose of traumatizing him before he can even speak a word ? "No sugar before 1 year old" - Are they feeding that kid only water ? I mean, breastmilk contains a bunch of sugar because guess what, humans do need sugar. "No spoon-feeding (we're doing BLW)" - How are the two even related ? Spoon-feeding is a common thing for babies because they're still struggling with fine motor skills like holding the spoon by themselves. I guess that you could chew the food and throw it up in their mouth, you're bound to raise a happy little bird! "No photo requests before 10AM" - And 9AM isn't okay because ? Ah, yeah, you're neurotic. Seriously, I wonder what other kind of ab*se they have in store for that poor kid after cutting him off from his grandmother over... a spoon of custard.
I had to look up BLW: baby-led weaning. Seriously?! Why are people always trying to fix problems that don't exist. Billions of people have raised their kids without this bullshìt, so I think we doing okay.
Load More Replies...Yeah, sounds like it. My ex-wife had a similar confrontation with my mother. Fortunately, it didn't escalate like this, but I was stuck in the middle because I understood both sides. My ex had a plan to introduce only one new food per week so that we could keep track of potential allergies. We left my child with my mother so that we could attend an event in another state. My mother gave our child baby food that was a mixture of two fruits to which he hadn't been introduced, such as strawberry banana. My ex was livid because if he had an allergic reaction, we wouldn't know which one it was. While I agreed that my mother made a mistake, I didn't think she did it out of any sort of play for control. She raised me in the 80s when people didn't put that much thought into baby food, so she prolly just forgot about my ex's process. I think my mother did apologize, and my ex decided to let it go, so thankfully, we avoided a shìt storm of drama. For our second, we had no such process.
Load More Replies...I am a grandma who had those rules too, and has learned things from my daughter. “Older wisdom does not mean better wisdom.” My daughter has learned things from me. “The internet is not always correct.” The thing is… IT IS NOT MY CHILD. If I raised MY child to be a smart caring person, with the ability to make informed decisions, about their child, I need to trust, that I did my job. My grand children did not suffer following those rules. Neither did I. They do not crave sugar (as I do). Their food ranges are expanding. As they get older I am encouraged to OCCASIONALLY offer sweets or food not strictly on the “please don’t” list. The kids and grand kids are all happy to see us when we arrive. Surprisingly! WE did not die, from following THEIR RULES, about THEIR, children. WE do get to stretch bedtimes…. Have special event sweets, that the kids may or may not want! The proof is in the pudding. My grand children are doing just fine. We learned things. My kids can trust us,with her children. Our daughter learned things! We can trust her with our grand children.Everyone is joyful to see each other, for visits.
So, granny repeatedly went against the rules just because she wants to, lies about it, plays the victim - but the parents are the bad guys, according to a lot of replies? It's their child, the rules aren't too wild, what's the problem for the grandmother just to follow them? Nah, I would step away from that, too. Before the kid develops a coconut allergy and granny tries to straighten its hair...
Nobody is saying the grandmother was right. The problem is that they're "over"-reacting. This is an issue that needs to be worked out, but weird instructional lessons (from an inexperienced mother to a mother that successfully raised a functioning adult) and possibly no contact are nuclear options for a slap on the wrist offense.
Load More Replies...So besides everything else, mother clearly lied - kept changing her story, justified herself in each iteration etc. If you can't rely on someone being truthful about their time watching your child, you don't let them see the child unsupervised. Imagine having a babysitter that not just broke the rules but lied about it. You'd never have them babysit again because if they'd lie about small things, why wouldn't they lie about something more serious which is harder to talk about? The mother shows no remorse or comprehension that she's being demanding to the parents. I wouldn't deal with her until she can be an adult. That said bullying someone into being on camera is petty AH behaviour. So the wife clearly just loves drama and fighting.
Imagine you child putting you in such a position that you feel like you have to lie about custard. Sometimes lying is caused by the other party’s crazy over reaction.
Load More Replies...Not granny's kid so she needs to respect the parents' rules. The parents may be a little "out there" right now but it's their 1st kid, so cut them some slack.
These rules are ridiculous. The baby is fine. Do you know how important and lucky it is for this kid to have loving grandparents? That going to help this child be more resilient. But no. Instead we’re not only taking the baby away, we’re demanding gma go to therapy. Bc she fed the baby custard! F that. These parents suck.
Load More Replies...I understand not trusting Grandma alone with the baby after the whole "I didn't ask cuz you'd say no" what's she's going to do next let the baby have tea with honey because he seemed interested? I've seen way to many of these where they give allergic children food with allergen because they didn't think it was that bad, or the child really wanted it. And "rules don't apply to grandma" is awful. But I do think they're taking it too far with canceling a birthday because someone didn't want to be on camera, like come on. At this point it'd probably be best if they all took a break until his wife no longer has PPD, and then see if they can sit down and talk. Maybe record the conversation to make sure no-one lies.
It would be nice if everyone stepped back a bit, drew breath, and stated the other people's side so the debate had a bit more sympathy on both sides. It does not harm a child to feed it sugar on occasion, but grandma knew the rules and ignored them. I think we've all read any number of posts where grandma ignored parental rules and endangered the child, but that doesn't obtain here. That being said, the parents need to unclench, nobody was hurt and life happens.
Can someone explain the no spoon thing? I'm still trying to work it out. What's the advantages to baby not having a spoon?
They want to do baby led weaning. You give the baby big chunks of food. Then the baby bites off too much and gags and chokes until it learns how to chew and swallow correctly. Guess the spoon with the soft easy to eat food may have confused the child. Who was used to a certain amount of t*****e at feeding time.
Load More Replies...Maybe I misread it, but the GPs are huge AHs. The moment grandma said "I knew you would say no". All bets are off. It isn't something fun or silly. It is a child less than a year old and eating. That isn't a joke. Grandma is an immature child and I would have acted similarly. What if the child had an allergy? It is horribly reckless behavior from a generation that had huge families in case kids died. After that initial problem, the GP's double down when they didn't have to and didn't take responsibility and made excuses. Strike 2. Too immature to admit they made a mistake. After that it is on the Grandparents to bridge the gap. The GPs got huffy over being scolded and kept escalating. No one forced them to escalate.
You realize the method the parents are using to feed this baby is to let it bite off huge chunks of food and actually gag and choke until it learns to swallow correctly, right? That’s what baby led weaning is.
Load More Replies...Why make parenting any harder than it already is? I thought maybe your child was lactose intolerant or something, but no......
From experience I can tell you Grandma will eventually have enough of the parents behavior and them using the child to be controlling and will go low contact.
I think the opposite. I had enough of a lying childish Grandparent and don't want my kids to learn that.
Load More Replies...OP and his wife sound exhausting. You know who will l WILL go no-contact with his parents? OP's son in 17 years. He'll prolly go live with Grandma Custard who's been secretly communicating with him.
Upvote for saying what I was thinking and for the name Grandma Custard
Load More Replies...Absolutely gobsmacked .... Both sides are in the wrong but SERIOUSLY these new parents need to breathe, exhale, re evaluate their perspective and make sane decisions
Yeah! Blackmailing someone into going to therapy is such a great idea..
Load More Replies...Can we please require a permit to reproduce so that lunatics like OP and his wife won't birth some kid with the sole purpose of traumatizing him before he can even speak a word ? "No sugar before 1 year old" - Are they feeding that kid only water ? I mean, breastmilk contains a bunch of sugar because guess what, humans do need sugar. "No spoon-feeding (we're doing BLW)" - How are the two even related ? Spoon-feeding is a common thing for babies because they're still struggling with fine motor skills like holding the spoon by themselves. I guess that you could chew the food and throw it up in their mouth, you're bound to raise a happy little bird! "No photo requests before 10AM" - And 9AM isn't okay because ? Ah, yeah, you're neurotic. Seriously, I wonder what other kind of ab*se they have in store for that poor kid after cutting him off from his grandmother over... a spoon of custard.
I had to look up BLW: baby-led weaning. Seriously?! Why are people always trying to fix problems that don't exist. Billions of people have raised their kids without this bullshìt, so I think we doing okay.
Load More Replies...Yeah, sounds like it. My ex-wife had a similar confrontation with my mother. Fortunately, it didn't escalate like this, but I was stuck in the middle because I understood both sides. My ex had a plan to introduce only one new food per week so that we could keep track of potential allergies. We left my child with my mother so that we could attend an event in another state. My mother gave our child baby food that was a mixture of two fruits to which he hadn't been introduced, such as strawberry banana. My ex was livid because if he had an allergic reaction, we wouldn't know which one it was. While I agreed that my mother made a mistake, I didn't think she did it out of any sort of play for control. She raised me in the 80s when people didn't put that much thought into baby food, so she prolly just forgot about my ex's process. I think my mother did apologize, and my ex decided to let it go, so thankfully, we avoided a shìt storm of drama. For our second, we had no such process.
Load More Replies...I am a grandma who had those rules too, and has learned things from my daughter. “Older wisdom does not mean better wisdom.” My daughter has learned things from me. “The internet is not always correct.” The thing is… IT IS NOT MY CHILD. If I raised MY child to be a smart caring person, with the ability to make informed decisions, about their child, I need to trust, that I did my job. My grand children did not suffer following those rules. Neither did I. They do not crave sugar (as I do). Their food ranges are expanding. As they get older I am encouraged to OCCASIONALLY offer sweets or food not strictly on the “please don’t” list. The kids and grand kids are all happy to see us when we arrive. Surprisingly! WE did not die, from following THEIR RULES, about THEIR, children. WE do get to stretch bedtimes…. Have special event sweets, that the kids may or may not want! The proof is in the pudding. My grand children are doing just fine. We learned things. My kids can trust us,with her children. Our daughter learned things! We can trust her with our grand children.Everyone is joyful to see each other, for visits.
So, granny repeatedly went against the rules just because she wants to, lies about it, plays the victim - but the parents are the bad guys, according to a lot of replies? It's their child, the rules aren't too wild, what's the problem for the grandmother just to follow them? Nah, I would step away from that, too. Before the kid develops a coconut allergy and granny tries to straighten its hair...
Nobody is saying the grandmother was right. The problem is that they're "over"-reacting. This is an issue that needs to be worked out, but weird instructional lessons (from an inexperienced mother to a mother that successfully raised a functioning adult) and possibly no contact are nuclear options for a slap on the wrist offense.
Load More Replies...So besides everything else, mother clearly lied - kept changing her story, justified herself in each iteration etc. If you can't rely on someone being truthful about their time watching your child, you don't let them see the child unsupervised. Imagine having a babysitter that not just broke the rules but lied about it. You'd never have them babysit again because if they'd lie about small things, why wouldn't they lie about something more serious which is harder to talk about? The mother shows no remorse or comprehension that she's being demanding to the parents. I wouldn't deal with her until she can be an adult. That said bullying someone into being on camera is petty AH behaviour. So the wife clearly just loves drama and fighting.
Imagine you child putting you in such a position that you feel like you have to lie about custard. Sometimes lying is caused by the other party’s crazy over reaction.
Load More Replies...Not granny's kid so she needs to respect the parents' rules. The parents may be a little "out there" right now but it's their 1st kid, so cut them some slack.
These rules are ridiculous. The baby is fine. Do you know how important and lucky it is for this kid to have loving grandparents? That going to help this child be more resilient. But no. Instead we’re not only taking the baby away, we’re demanding gma go to therapy. Bc she fed the baby custard! F that. These parents suck.
Load More Replies...I understand not trusting Grandma alone with the baby after the whole "I didn't ask cuz you'd say no" what's she's going to do next let the baby have tea with honey because he seemed interested? I've seen way to many of these where they give allergic children food with allergen because they didn't think it was that bad, or the child really wanted it. And "rules don't apply to grandma" is awful. But I do think they're taking it too far with canceling a birthday because someone didn't want to be on camera, like come on. At this point it'd probably be best if they all took a break until his wife no longer has PPD, and then see if they can sit down and talk. Maybe record the conversation to make sure no-one lies.
It would be nice if everyone stepped back a bit, drew breath, and stated the other people's side so the debate had a bit more sympathy on both sides. It does not harm a child to feed it sugar on occasion, but grandma knew the rules and ignored them. I think we've all read any number of posts where grandma ignored parental rules and endangered the child, but that doesn't obtain here. That being said, the parents need to unclench, nobody was hurt and life happens.
Can someone explain the no spoon thing? I'm still trying to work it out. What's the advantages to baby not having a spoon?
They want to do baby led weaning. You give the baby big chunks of food. Then the baby bites off too much and gags and chokes until it learns how to chew and swallow correctly. Guess the spoon with the soft easy to eat food may have confused the child. Who was used to a certain amount of t*****e at feeding time.
Load More Replies...Maybe I misread it, but the GPs are huge AHs. The moment grandma said "I knew you would say no". All bets are off. It isn't something fun or silly. It is a child less than a year old and eating. That isn't a joke. Grandma is an immature child and I would have acted similarly. What if the child had an allergy? It is horribly reckless behavior from a generation that had huge families in case kids died. After that initial problem, the GP's double down when they didn't have to and didn't take responsibility and made excuses. Strike 2. Too immature to admit they made a mistake. After that it is on the Grandparents to bridge the gap. The GPs got huffy over being scolded and kept escalating. No one forced them to escalate.
You realize the method the parents are using to feed this baby is to let it bite off huge chunks of food and actually gag and choke until it learns to swallow correctly, right? That’s what baby led weaning is.
Load More Replies...Why make parenting any harder than it already is? I thought maybe your child was lactose intolerant or something, but no......
From experience I can tell you Grandma will eventually have enough of the parents behavior and them using the child to be controlling and will go low contact.
I think the opposite. I had enough of a lying childish Grandparent and don't want my kids to learn that.
Load More Replies...

































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