30 Behaviors That People In This Online Group Find Hard To Tolerate So They Judge Others For It
Humans evolved to be compassionate and understand other people’s pain, unfortunate circumstances or irrational behavior. It might be because they have gone through it themselves, they can imagine how it might feel or just believe the person when they share how hard it is for them.
Even though we are compassionate, we can’t help but be judgemental as well. There are things that annoy us and we can’t find an excuse or meaning behind certain behaviors, although we often keep it to ourselves.
People were given the opportunity to vent about it on Reddit when nosovietspyhere asked, “What is something you silently judge people for?” In a week, more than 15k people joined the thread and over 19k people upvoted it confessing what behaviors they simply don’t understand and make them dislike the people conducting them.
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According to Emma Seppälä, a Yale lecturer and a best-selling author, “Science shows that we are actually wired for compassion, not self-interest.” Dacher Keltner at the University of California, Berkeley also suggests that we don’t learn compassion, but it’s an innate instinct.
But that doesn’t stop us from judging other people. Bored Panda reached out to motivational speaker, mindset expert and co-founder of Super Connector Media Jen Gottlieb and she revealed that even the most compassionate people can be quick to judge.
Supporting Trump.
Yes I judge people for this. Same way I would judge someone who bullies and lies constantly then tries to claim a moral high ground for doing so. Trump is a liar, a bully and most of all an absolutely transparent con artist, how does anyone support that?
If I could upvote this a few hundred times, I would.
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100%. If someone supports Cheeto Voldemort, it tells me all I need to know about their intelligence, their character, everything.
This is so true, but your description made me laugh out loud !!
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Clearly, if you support him you are deaf, blind, ignorant and in denial.
Or as evil as he is. Let's not let them hide behind the relatively few who are actually deaf, blind, ignorant, and in denial. (Those are merely failings of the mind, not the soul.) Donald Trump represents the dark side of the American spirit and so do the fascists who support him because they believe in him and those politicians who support him out of cowardice.
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At this point, I'd go further and say "being a Republican." The entire Republican party created the conditions that made Trump possible, and supported him while he was in office, knowing he was a dangerous, willfully stupid buffoon. They propped up the most unhinged, right wing, certifiably insane candidates like Boebert and Greene. The entire party is the problem.
Agree wholeheartedly. If you didn't turn your back on Republicans after they tried to overthrow a legal election and stage a coup, you are a treasonous shitstain. I love that the people who scream about others who "don't love America!!1!" are a-okay with the GOP destroying democracy. If the GOP openly identified as Nazi at this point, 30% of Americans would decide that this means Nazis are the good guys.
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Yes, I will silently judge you if you still support an angry Oompa Loompa that spewed vitriol against immigrants, women, LGBTQIA+ people, scientists, and anyone who didn't support his hate-filled rhetoric.
Pre-trump era, I respected republicans/conservatives. I didn’t agree with them and I was unlikely to vote for one based on my own values. But Trump and his supporters I judge. I judge people based on their actions, their behavior and lack of morals. And supporting a human that is rotten to his core shows me EXACTLY who you are.
Literally the only thing I need to know about a person. If they're still good with him after all this, they're dead to me.
I have had a few frenemiesin my circle of life experiences. Always wondered why they were so awful towards others. Trump came along and every last one of them supported or worshipped him. Their awful became utterly self explanatory after that. Saved me a lot of wondering if I could have tried harder or if I had misjudged them in the past.
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hadn't really thought about it but, yes, i do judge others who support traitor tot. i find it hard to believe that grown people with what i hope is a semblance of intelligence believe what he spews. the lies, the bullying, and their willingness to embrace and copy his behavior. and, here i was thinking that i didn't judge others. just goes to show that everyone can be pushed to a point in which they will make judgments even when they don't want to.
I am still in shock that a man who said "And when you're a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab 'em by the p***y. You can do anything." Managed to still get voted in as our President.. When the world was ready to castrate one who got a blow job from someone not his wife while in office... I was just dumbstruck..
Mocked a disabled reporter. Multiple lawsuits. Paid a porn star he f****d -- cheating on his postpartum third wife -- hush money from his campaign funds. Anyone who supported this is morally bankrupt.
Load More Replies... Judgment is the core of all morality, and disapprobation of anyone who supports a pathological liar, criminal, con man, and sex offender is a moral obligation some 30% of Americans have failed.
Not so secret. Whether you are a trumpite or not, everyone judges people who support trump.
At best, he can be described as the poster boy for the Dunning-Kruger effect (those who are so dumb they don't know how dumb they are}. For instance, he thought going to a military boarding school in his teen years gave him more knowledge about military affairs than his generals. And at worst? All the bad words in all the languages globally.
Its concerning to see so much hate on this issue and what comes out of peoples mouth.
Every time I see a person wearing a MAGA hat, I honestly wanted to take it from them and burn it.
This!!! ❤❤ Trump is a scary man, because of the length he'll go to get his way, but honestly, his supporters are even scarier for thinking his behavior is absolutely fine and defending his atrocious actions. I can handle one maniac, but all his maniac-supporters is just too much "crazy" even for me.
This is why I abandoned my Facebook account. Didn't need to see family members and gaming community friends supporting this obvious piece of s**t. Proud that my dad, who has some conservative values and who I'm estranged from, didnt vote for this clown. He made a post about it before I left FB. I know it's a small thing, but it mattered to me.
Me too. My mother and grandmother were hardcore Republicans all the way until Bush 2.0. Both voted Obama. Grandma was gone by 2016, but my mother was so sickened by Trump that she actually cut off several family members for supporting him, too. As soon as you start gay-bashing, you're done.
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Everyone is entitled to support whom they think serves their interests best. No need to insult Trump supporters. You won't win them over with your insults.
Who wants to win them over? They want to murder us. F**k them.
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So many of these points describe Trump or how I would imaging him to be in the associated section.
I don't judge anyone for their political beliefs, affiliation, or who they voted for because I'm not a judgemental piece of s**t 🙃
To be fair - the other candidate is often a piece of **** too I looked up the list of possible candidates at the beginning of the last election - there were a few qualified, nice people out there - but why in the end you only can choose the lesser evil out of 2 And why only 2 parties??? Why not trying out a bit democracy some time??
When people say "lets leave politics out of it" or "lets agree to disagree", my first instinct is to "no". Your political beliefs are ultimately based on your sense of right and wrong; they are at your core. That is why I cannot be friends with a Trump supporter. He is a vile, evil man.
Hey, I don’t like Trump but let’s not get people banned because of their view points. Remember, -10 or more banns someone. Disagreeing is healthy and we should walk the walk and not just talk the talk of listening to and respecting others. Hate only breeds hate.
Too bad. Trump is hateable, and at this point, I'm wondering what's wrong with you if you look at this s**t and go "Eh, both sides." F**k Trump, f**k his supporters, and f**k Trump apologists. They tried to overthrow the f*****g government. How do you not hate that? How do you twirl your hair and go "Well, both-"?
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I don't give two shits about American politics. But it looks a lot like (liberals) "we should let people make their own choices." - proceeds to belittle and shame people for making choices that don't align with theirs.
When that choice aligns with, oh, open crime, espionage, treason, not to mention homophobia, transphobia, and misogyny, that's more than "choices that don't align." That's realizing that someone lacks even the most basic human values. Donald Trump built his entire brand on mocking, belittling, and shaming others. We tried "going high." We tried "reaching across the aisle." They went from calling us "unAmerican" to threatening to murder us in cold blood in a civil war because they "hate liberals." Now we're gonna treat the treasonous m***********g shitstains like how they treat the rest of us. In their words, cry harder.
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You literally described the Trumps, you f*****g idiot. For someone concerned with facts, you don't seem to understand what they actually are and how they work.
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Jen Gottlieb explained the reasons behind such feelings: “It’s usually because [people] feel threatened, insecure or competitive towards the person they are judging. People also tend to make negative judgments towards others when someone does something that reflects an aspect about themselves that they don't like.”
Turns out, it’s a form of projecting which allows judgemental people to feel like they are above others: “Instead of looking inward, they use judgment to deflect those insecurities. Judging someone gives people a false sense of hierarchy or superiority so insecure people often skip over compassion and move straight into judgment to make themselves feel better.”
Watching videos at full volume in public. I don’t understand this.
Being obliviously in the way. Like getting to the end of an escalator and just standing there. Or standing with a group of people in a doorway or aisle. Or stopping to stare at your phone in the middle of the sidewalk.
Just move out of the way like 2 steps and everyones life is easier.
I hate when ppl leave their paper coffee cup on a random shelf in Walmart when they're done with it. That's so gross and entitled. Throw away your own garbage.
That drives me insane. Especially when I worked retail...I'd find dirty diapers in the fitting rooms too.
Even though the person who is judging others might feel like they are superior, Jen Gottlieb believes that such behavior reveals that they might not be very happy with themselves and their lives.
The mindset expert goes into more detail about how a happy and unhappy person thinks, which influences their different views: “I would say that unhappy people are quicker to judge others and happy people are quicker to have an open mind and give people the benefit of the doubt. Unhappy people often use judgment as a tool to attempt to feel more secure within themselves. Happy people don’t need to do that because they tend to come from an abundant/collaborative mindset instead of a competitive one. Happy people also tend to look at people with a more positive lens and see the good. My fiance Chris always says ‘hurt people hurt people.’”
Fat people who I see running. I judge them in a good way. I always root for them.
PEOPLE WHO DONT THROW AWAY THEIR TRASH AT FAST FOOD PLACES! Nothing screams disgusting to me more than someone who leaves all their c**p at their table and leaves
I get annoyed when people do this in movie theaters. There's bins at every exit. Pick up your trash!! And no, it's not you "giving them job security".
Not being able to accept other viewpoints and not ever admitting that their wrong on any point.
The action of judging is always seen as negative and as it turns out, is a personality trait that is more common for unhappy people. Truth to be told, Jen Gottlieb doesn’t see any benefits coming from it. “Being judgemental can definitely hold you back from becoming successful because you are subconsciously (or sometimes consciously) blocking opportunities and relationships before you know what they can do for you!”
The motivational speaker reveals that in her own experience, she may not have formed some of the most powerful relationships with her friends if she had been too judgemental and wouldn’t have given them a chance.
If you are decked out in American Flag attire, I am concluding some things about you. Just the way it is.
Hyping themselves up too much. Saying s**t like “that wouldn’t fly with me, everyone knows not to mess with me” or “people look up to me” or “I’ll have your back until you cross me” like bro this isn’t a movie, relax. I don’t think these people understand that the more you have to hype yourself up, the less people actually think that of you.
But critical thinking and evaluation of your actions are still very important. “There is a difference between being judgmental and thoughtful. It is important to be thoughtful and intentional with your interactions and choices, but the second you find yourself making negative preconceived notions about something or someone, you should pause and ask yourself why you are making the judgment. Did that person activate something in you that made you feel less than? It always starts and ends with the hidden ‘why’ behind the judgment.”
Do you feel like you tend to judge others more when you are feeling unhappy? Do you think there are things you would judge others for even if you are in a good mood? Do you think a little bit of judging might be beneficial? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!
loud a*s (tweaked) motor cycles in an urban area. am not alone there though, as apparent by everybody angrily turning in the same direction when those idiots drive by.
Dude have no idea of how many Times i wished i had an RPG7, not even kidding every single f*****g night there was a massive c...t with a quad that would wake up everyone with his s**t fart machine.
Having multiple children they clearly weren't ready for lol
Yes, one of my sisters had four kids and she bitched all the time about them. You would've thought the government allocated the kids to her. You had choices, suck it up!
The only time I feel I judge people like this is when I'm driving. Speed up, pay attention to the road, use your signals, and don't be an idiot. It's not that hard.
Put your gd phone down. Don't tailgate. Get out of the fast lane, slowpoke. Let other people get in during a merge.
People who act victimized when in reality they’ve never been a victim of anything in their lives.
May or may not have some family members that do this and it drives me f*****g insane
When a parent gives a child a "unique" name that's obviously not specific to their culture, but a mispelled or made up name like "Spenser" or "Alivia" or "Mayson".
littering, chewing with their mouth open, drunkenly touching people.
I understand being in a toxic or s**tty relationship and that some people can't leave. I understand that. But I've met some girls who are balls deep obsessed with their s***ty a*s boyfriends and think that they can change them or think they're in love when the guys an a*****e and a bum. My neighbor for example cares more about her druggy boyfriend than her own child. Stuff like that I will judge you for.
I think there are some cases, but a co-worker in a very abusive relationship had been brainwashed to think it was her fault. She refused to hear any criticism of her spouse. I ended up giving her a book on self-esteem, nothing derogatory about abusive SOs'. Ran into her months later in another job, free of that POS. She told me she'd read the book in the bathroom (hiding) and slowly realized she was worth more than him. I was thrilled for her. I'll never forget that.
When I hear people s**t talking someone due to their appearance/ clothes. So f*****g shallow but its not worth calling people like that out.
Kinda niche but...
I silently judge people who do extremely hard hikes/dangerous hikes woefully unprepared or wearing sandals/sneakers/inappropriate footwear.
I live in Colorado and too often we get headlines related to these kinds of people. There is no excuse with all the resources available to research the hike you're doing. Ultimately, S&R is going to have to use THEIR resources to save your a*s from something that was of your own doing. But I judge silently because I believe that sometimes, you do need to learn the hard way.
Last spring, a mother & daughter went hiking on a local trail at 5 PM. Guess what? They ended up stranded at the top of a mountain in pitch darkness and below-freezing temperatures. Research the trail before you hike it, people!
Being s**t parents.
I feel like some parents have bad days, slip up, make mistakes or perhaps got some bad/skewed advice. It's the ones that aren't even trying that I smdh at.
Gossiping, like people who only gossip. Because you know that if they gossip to you about everyone else theyre gossiping about you to other people too.
In-laws gossiped about my dying mother speculating whether it was cancer or AIDS. All over Facebook. And they wonder why I don’t talk to them
If they're disagreeable and never grateful for anything or anyone.
When people type “loose” instead of “lose”
I know exactly how you feel and I felt exactly the same. Until one particularly wise panda suggested that there may be an alternative reason than pure ignorance. Perhaps the person writes English as a second language, or maybe they have trouble with words, maybe even dyslexia. I thought that was a good point and these days I just let those mistakes pass and give the author the benefit of the doubt. After all, they are contributing to the discussion and I would hate to scare someone off because of less than perfect English.
Lack of self awareness.
Parents who's kids have pacifiers while being 4 years and older
I used to feel this 100% but have come to realise, a lot of children with developmental issues or on autism spectrum, need these as soothing aids and a lot of them take a lot longer to give up these items
when im at work, on register and someone handing me crumpled up bills, like really you couldnt straighten this out?
As long as they're not pulling them out of body crevices and don't stink, then who cares if they're straightened or crumpled.
Parents who can't be arsed what their children do, the ones that let them run riot in restaurants or in stores and the children are pulling items off shelves, playing with toys and leaving them on the floor, allowing them to drop trash/litter all over the place, going in other peoples gardens and causing havoc but then think the whole world should love and adore their children and say "They are only playing".
I judge people who treat employees like trash and who speak to others like they're waste of time. Life wouldn't be so daunting, tedious and stressful if you're not thinking about how you're spending time every second of every day and how much money you're making/spending every second of every day. Sounds exhausting.
When I was dating, I left more than one guy sitting alone in a restaurant because he was rude or condescending to the wait staff. I won't put up with it.
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If I see someone put soda in a baby bottle or sippy cup, I will instantly judge them as bad parents.
I've seen this a lot with other young parents. One daycare worker would always toss out the soda she found in the sippy cup this 9mth old's mom would give her. The mom was always spoken to about it.
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If you treat your server, bartender, customer service rep, or retail worker poorly, I totally judge you.
People who have a phone conversation in public with the phone on speaker. Like seriously I don't want to hear your conversation, get earphones or hold the phone up to your ear like a normal person.
Being an adult picky eater. Unless you have food allergies, you're on the autism spectrum and have a hypersensitivity around food textures, or have childhood abuse issues around food, I will judge you as having been a spoiled child if you're an adult picky eater.
I don't care if someone is a picky eater. It's a preference thing, like music or clothing, it's fine. It's when a picky eater asks me to choose where to eat that I get frustrated.
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Stop being so judgy and hating on threads that are judgy and hating. You're being all judgy and hating. /jk
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I'll add people who constantly complain/vent to you. You may feel better afterwards but that s**t brings me down. The constant negativity just makes it unbearable for me and it's not even me being mad. I've learned to make my co-worker who does laugh to defuse things for both of us.
This was a pretty terrible article. Idk why I thought it would be fine, but I was wrong. What especiadissapointes me is all the downvotes people received just by disagreeing. People are now banned just for dissenting from popular opinion. It’s a dangerous path, silencing people just because you disagree with them. Those who choose to are no better than those they judge.
I judge people who use swear words on public transport, if there are children.
People who use actual mental illnesses as though they are adjectives. OCD, Bi-Polar and Narcissism, example, are actual illnesses not the same as saying "orange" cat, "red" car. No one goes around declaring rheumatoid arthritis or cancer to describe the behaviors of others. It's gross and offensive to those actually struggling with such illnesses or for those whom love someone who is struggling. It's ignorant and gross.
people may have gastic problems or need to pee. I have this problem, can't sit still for more than an hour.
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Parents who can't be arsed what their children do, the ones that let them run riot in restaurants or in stores and the children are pulling items off shelves, playing with toys and leaving them on the floor, allowing them to drop trash/litter all over the place, going in other peoples gardens and causing havoc but then think the whole world should love and adore their children and say "They are only playing".
I judge people who treat employees like trash and who speak to others like they're waste of time. Life wouldn't be so daunting, tedious and stressful if you're not thinking about how you're spending time every second of every day and how much money you're making/spending every second of every day. Sounds exhausting.
When I was dating, I left more than one guy sitting alone in a restaurant because he was rude or condescending to the wait staff. I won't put up with it.
Load More Replies... If I see someone put soda in a baby bottle or sippy cup, I will instantly judge them as bad parents.
I've seen this a lot with other young parents. One daycare worker would always toss out the soda she found in the sippy cup this 9mth old's mom would give her. The mom was always spoken to about it.
Load More Replies... If you treat your server, bartender, customer service rep, or retail worker poorly, I totally judge you.
People who have a phone conversation in public with the phone on speaker. Like seriously I don't want to hear your conversation, get earphones or hold the phone up to your ear like a normal person.
Being an adult picky eater. Unless you have food allergies, you're on the autism spectrum and have a hypersensitivity around food textures, or have childhood abuse issues around food, I will judge you as having been a spoiled child if you're an adult picky eater.
I don't care if someone is a picky eater. It's a preference thing, like music or clothing, it's fine. It's when a picky eater asks me to choose where to eat that I get frustrated.
Load More Replies... Stop being so judgy and hating on threads that are judgy and hating. You're being all judgy and hating. /jk
Load More Replies... I'll add people who constantly complain/vent to you. You may feel better afterwards but that s**t brings me down. The constant negativity just makes it unbearable for me and it's not even me being mad. I've learned to make my co-worker who does laugh to defuse things for both of us.
This was a pretty terrible article. Idk why I thought it would be fine, but I was wrong. What especiadissapointes me is all the downvotes people received just by disagreeing. People are now banned just for dissenting from popular opinion. It’s a dangerous path, silencing people just because you disagree with them. Those who choose to are no better than those they judge.
I judge people who use swear words on public transport, if there are children.
People who use actual mental illnesses as though they are adjectives. OCD, Bi-Polar and Narcissism, example, are actual illnesses not the same as saying "orange" cat, "red" car. No one goes around declaring rheumatoid arthritis or cancer to describe the behaviors of others. It's gross and offensive to those actually struggling with such illnesses or for those whom love someone who is struggling. It's ignorant and gross.
people may have gastic problems or need to pee. I have this problem, can't sit still for more than an hour.
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