I have a 14 year old daughter and I have been seeing a lot of my traits in her. She has made comments about how I don't understand how she feels. In reality, I do. I remember it very well. My problem is guiding her the socially correct way to change a few things about her without telling her too much detail of how I went about it the incorrect way. People are always telling me that I am too much of her friend and not a good mother because of it. I like the "friend" thing. She tells me everything. She is open to discuss things that most kids won't tell their parents. This includes experiences with boys. I always advise her to make the correct decisions in life and may be a little too open about the real world when having our discussions. In return she is more mature than all her classmates and therefore has few friends. Those friends have even came to me asking for advice and guidance about stuff they are afraid to speak to their parents. One even asked if I can help her get on birth control! I encouraged her to talk to her mom or aunt due to legal matters.
I have also let my kid know about pedophiles and to search for hidden cameras in restrooms and fitting rooms. That was age 6, age 10 she started to learn about all the drugs in the area and how to spot someone on them.
As far as I know, she isn't interested in any drugs or sex. She says it is because I have been open about it and the thrill of curiosity isn't there.
Am I in the wrong for being so open about life?
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Do you tell your teenager your problems? Do you ask your child for advice? Do you vent to your teenager? If the answer is no, then you aren't actually friends with your daughter. And that is a good thing coz a teenager is not old enough, experienced enough or mentally capable to feel with adult issues, so being a friend to your child is not a good thing. Now Being open with your child and having a close relationship with guidance, advice, support, open dialogue but also boundaries etc is healthy and should be commended. My daughter is 16 and we are very close but we are not friends, we can be friends when she is an adult. She talks to me about all sorts and that includes relationships with boys, birth control etc also, no matter how awkward or embarrassing it is.
Sorry I made a mistake and can't fix it. I was supposed to say "mentally capable to DEAL with adult issues" not feel.
I think there is a common confusion that parents need to be friend OR parent. Why not be both friend AND parent.
Coming from a teen, I think being friends with your teen and a parent they trust are way different. I would rather have a parent that I can confide in, who I knows can help and support me. While it's good to have your mother be a friend, it is more important to have a mom. It's is still good that she can talk to you openly, but for teens, friends and parents are complete different figures. Friends are people who you do dumb stuff with, and spread gossip, and make mistakes that you all learn from. Having a mom is different because she will tell you what to do because she has learned, but I think that it is important that us teens have the chance to learn from mistakes ourselves. Ofcourse you should stop her from danger, but it is good for us to do dumb stuff thaybwe learn from
