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“Kept Drunk Texting His Ex”: Drunk Raccoon Found In Store Bathroom, Sparks Hilarious Reactions
A raccoon in a Virginia liquor store became an unexpected party animal after it was discovered “very intoxicated” and passed out in the bathroom following what officials described as a full-on drunken rampage.
The furry intruder reportedly helped itself to several liquor containers before employees found it sprawled on the bathroom floor like a hungover human.
Highlights
- A raccoon’s liquor store rampage in Virginia earned it the nickname “masked bandit.”
- Animal shelter officials who responded to the scene found the whole incident absolutely “unusual.”
- Meanwhile, the internet exploded with jokes, memes, and even requests for a “tiny mugshot” as users dubbed the raccoon’s antics “iconic behavior.”
The bizarre burglary has sent the internet into a frenzy, sparking wild and hilarious reactions.
One amused user wrote, “Somebody get this raccoon a tiny mugshot and a lawyer. ‘I only went in for one sip, your honor.’”
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The raccoon had broken in at the Ashland ABC store in Virginia on the night of Black Friday, November 28
Image credits: EyeEm / freepik (not the actual photo)
According to multiple reports, the mischievous animal was discovered by the Ashland ABC store employees in Virginia on the morning of Saturday, November 29.
The raccoon had damaged several expensive liquor bottles on multiple shelves, and broken glasses and liquor were discovered on the floor, and it had even drunk multiple types of intoxicating liquor.
Soon after discovering his unconscious body, Hanover County Animal Protection and Shelter were called to the scene.
Officer Samantha Martin was dispatched by the organization in response to what they called a “very unusual call.”
Image credits: pelayonly / unsplash (not the actual photo)
In a cheeky social media post, the shelter narrated the whole ordeal that left everyone laughing at the odd incident.
Shelter authorities who responded to the call even labeled the raccoon a “masked bandit.”
The post shared on December 2 featured a collage of the drunk “bandit” lying face-down between a trash can and a toilet bowl, alongside another image showing the aftermath of his chaotic rampage.
Shelter authorities who responded to the call found the whole incident “very unusual” and even labeled the raccoon a “masked bandit”
Image credits: Hanover County Animal Protection and Shelter
The caption read, “Suspect Apprehended After Liquor-Fueled Rampage.”
“Officer Martin responded to a very unusual call at the Ashland ABC Store. Upon arrival, she discovered the ‘suspect’ had broken in, ransacked several shelves, and then… passed out in the bathroom. The suspect? A very intoxicated raccoon.”
They further shared what happened after taking the intruder into custody.
“Officer Martin safely secured our masked bandit and transported him back to the shelter to sober up before questioning.”
“A big shout-out to Officer Martin for handling this chaotic scene with professionalism and good humor,” the animal protection shelter shared in a social media post
Image credits: Hanover County Animal Protection and Shelter
“After a few hours of sleep and zero signs of injury (other than maybe a hangover and poor life choices), he was safely released back to the wild, hopefully having learned that breaking and entering is not the answer.”
Social media users had hilarious reactions, with many joking that the raccoon had had “enough of 2025 and needed a drink.”
One user wrote, “So THAT’S where my spirit animal went! His name is Scruffles McGee, and he’s not a bad raccoon; he’s just got some issues he’s trying to work through.”
Another commented, “If this ever happens at your store, please call me. I wanna party with the raccoon.”
Image credits: Chris Ensminger / unsplash (not the actual photo)
A third quipped, “Poor little fella was so wasted he kept drunk texting his ex, started 3 fights, presided over the marriage of 2 chipmunks, and started 1 fire.”
Many online users even urged the store to release the actual security footage of the “hysterical” booze-fueled break-in.
“Hysterical! I want to see the security video. Oh, please, room, stop spinning. Passing out in the bathroom is funny.”
The raccoon had reportedly fallen into the Virginia store through the ceiling and helped itself to multiple liquors, including whiskey and scotch
Image credits: kylejwagnr / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Another questioned the furry intruder’s “presence of mind,” wondering how it knew exactly where to stumble off to after drinking.
“My question is, how did a raccoon, drunk or not, have the presence of mind to head for the porcelain God after knowing he had one too many?”
Others drew comparisons between the intoxicated animal and Rocket Raccoon from Guardians of the Galaxy, the genetically modified, weapon-expert mercenary and founding member of the superhero team.
According to the state’s Department of Wildlife Resources, raccoons are extremely common in the area, and interactions with them are a regular occurrence
Image credits: photodiod / freepik (not the actual photo)
Officer Martin, the animal control officer who found the raccoon passed out in the store bathroom, told CBS News, “I personally like raccoons.”
Explaining how the creature ended up inside the liquor store, Samantha shared, “They are funny little creatures. He fell through one of the ceiling tiles and went on a full-blown rampage, drinking everything.”
“Another day in the life of an animal control officer, I guess.”
Image credits: qbounias / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Raccoon sightings are frequent in Virginia due to their abundance in the region.
While they generally avoid humans, their curious nature can lead them to cause property damage as they explore human spaces in search of food or shelter.
“That’s what you call a party animal… That raccoon has a drinking problem,” joked social media users
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What do you think ?
FloC 1 day ago
Long time ago, my father had a friend who was running a little store with an open front on a camping ground. Among other sweets, he was selling some chocolates filled with liquor. He started to find wrappings with some chocolate emptied of the liquor and was blaming kids… Until he found a drunk squirrel snoring at the foot of a tree. :D
Multa Nocte 1 day ago
Poor little creature. I hope it was OK when it woke up. I can't imagine it was feeling very good.
marianne eliza 1 day ago
Give him some credit. At least he made it to the bathroom. My critters always head for the thickest carpet to urp. Probably to prevent splashing on themselves. The carpet absorbs the splat.
Nova Rook 1 day ago
When we first got our home we found a raccoon lying in our trash bin, unmoving. Wife called the city and they told us that "Yeah, he's just lazy, leave him be and he'll leave when he wants." I would later end up making friends with her (she would have babies later) and even hand fed her a few times and one time even pet her!
FloC 1 day ago
Long time ago, my father had a friend who was running a little store with an open front on a camping ground. Among other sweets, he was selling some chocolates filled with liquor. He started to find wrappings with some chocolate emptied of the liquor and was blaming kids… Until he found a drunk squirrel snoring at the foot of a tree. :D
Multa Nocte 1 day ago
Poor little creature. I hope it was OK when it woke up. I can't imagine it was feeling very good.
marianne eliza 1 day ago
Give him some credit. At least he made it to the bathroom. My critters always head for the thickest carpet to urp. Probably to prevent splashing on themselves. The carpet absorbs the splat.
Nova Rook 1 day ago
When we first got our home we found a raccoon lying in our trash bin, unmoving. Wife called the city and they told us that "Yeah, he's just lazy, leave him be and he'll leave when he wants." I would later end up making friends with her (she would have babies later) and even hand fed her a few times and one time even pet her!
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