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Guy Asks Internet For Some Relationship Advice After Falling In Love With His Ex-Wife’s Sister, Goes Viral
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Guy Asks Internet For Some Relationship Advice After Falling In Love With His Ex-Wife’s Sister, Goes Viral

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Your heart doesn’t take orders and if you fall in love with someone, it’s not on purpose to hurt someone. Your brain and body just react positively to that person and even if you try to fight it or ignore it, sometimes it’s hard to resist.

This one man got himself into an awkward situation when he realized that he really likes his ex-wife’s sister to the point that he would like to date her, but was afraid of how her family would react as he still wanted to maintain a friendly relationship with them for his kids.

He came to the internet for advice and then took action, sharing everything that has been happening between him and his sister-in-law. It’s a long one this time, but worth dedicating time as it fills the heart with warm emotions.

More info: Reddit

Image credits: David Shankbone (not the actual photo)

The Original Poster (OP) created a family when he was still young and by 26, he already had 2 kids and was married. Sadly, only a few months into the marriage, his wife cheated on him, so he got a divorce in absentia.

Divorce Knowledge Base explains that “this type of divorce occurs when one spouse files and the other doesn’t respond – usually because he or she cannot be found. The divorce is granted ‘by default’ and without the need for the non-responsive spouse to appear before the court at all.”

Man can’t hide his love for his ex-wife’s sister anymore and wants someone to tell him what to do

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Image credits: ThrowRA0727

The man had to do it because his ex-wife ran away with her lover, who made her a heroin addict. But being cheated on wasn’t the worst part. The OP was more angry at his ex-wife for getting verbally abusive towards their son, who was 5 or 6 at the time. He didn’t even want her back.

Thankfully, the man’s in-laws were quite understanding, they still treated him like a son and he was always welcome at their home together with his children. They invited him to Christmas parties and babysat the children whenever he needed.

The man started his story from the beginning when he married his now former wife and was cheated on a few months into their marriage

Image credits: ThrowRA0727

The OP’s sister-in-law, later called Silvia, enjoyed taking care of his children in particular as she and her boyfriend and later husband saw it as practice before having their own children. The kids also loved spending time with them and the dad allowed the aunt to spoil her niblings.

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Unfortunately, the sister-in-law’s husband was killed in an accident at his work not too long after his daughter was born, so now it was the OP’s turn to support her. The woman was devastated as she loved her husband and later, the family even came to terms with her decision that she would never date again. Four years after the incident, OP’s sister-in-law was still wearing her wedding ring and can’t forget about her late husband.

The man she was cheating on her husband with got her into drugs and she ran away

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Image credits: ThrowRA0727

However, Silvia was getting better and she was involved in the family. Actually, that is how the OP and Silvia bonded–they were spending family time together, their kids got along together and they would have dinner all together a couple of times a week.

Slowly, the man started to feel attracted to his sister-in-law and felt that it was wrong. He felt guilty because her husband was a good friend of his and the woman was still grieving, so he suppressed his emotions, considering them inappropriate.

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The husband got a divorce in absentia, forgiving the woman for hurting his feelings, but he couldn’t forgive her for being abusive towards their son

Image credits: Caleb Oquendo (not the actual photo)

Image credits: ThrowRA0727

It didn’t help that his son wished Silvia was his mom because she treated him so well. However, the dad was afraid of what kind of reaction the family would have. He even tried to joke around about it with them, but it didn’t land, so his worries just grew.

To sum up, on one hand, the OP was in love with his ex-wife’s sister because she was so sweet, had a great sense of humor and was kind with his kids. He already felt they are one big happy family because of how much time they spent together.

On the other hand, Silvia was still grieving and she very clearly stated that she didn’t think she could ever date again. Also, there was her family and the late husband’s family who may find this kind of relationship disrespectful.

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Thankfully, the ex-wife’s family was very supportive and helped him in numerous ways, especially his sister-in-law

Image credits: ThrowRA0727

However, people in the comments didn’t see the problem and believed that everything would be solved if the OP would just sit down with Silvia and talk about it. Maybe the man was already thinking about it, but needed a bit of encouragement and ideas of how to do it.

Unlike many posts on Reddit, this one has a continuation and a happy one too. After a few days passed since posting the first story, the Redditor came back with an update saying that he found an opportunity to ask Silvia out for dinner and she accepted the offer.

So when his sister-in-law’s husband died in a tragic accident not too long after their daughter’s birth, the man returned the favor

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Image credits: ThrowRA0727

The OP took Silvia to a nicer restaurant and was surprised to see her all done up, as usually she didn’t do that, and at the end of the night, Silvia was the one to make the first move. The man was feeling nervous all night, not wanting to ruin everything, but it was all for nothing, as his ex-wife’s sister felt the same way.

They had a lot to talk about and think of what they would do if OP’s ex came back, as she still is his children’s mother and how they would explain their relationship to their children. It seemed that the positive emotions outweighed the possible negative ones and there was another update after a week describing the big reveal to the family.

The two families spent a lot of time together and bonded, but the man felt that he is actually attracted to his sister-in-law

Image credits: ThrowRA0727

For the most part everyone seemed happy for the couple: “I don’t know how we expected it to go but several of her aunts were very pleased with this. We got some hugs. At first nobody even mentioned my ex-wife. They were just happy because they had all settled on Silvia just never dating again.”

However, Silvia’s mom didn’t seem to be happy about the news and it seemed like she knew more than she was telling. His ex-wife’s parents confessed that they’ve been in touch with their daughter for almost a year and she was doing much better. Although that didn’t change anything regarding OP’s feelings towards Silvia.

After asking for help online, he was determined to confess his love and take the advice he was given in the comments

Image credits: ThrowRA0727

The dad also had to talk with his children. His daughter and niece who were younger were pretty happy as their parents’ relationship meant that they could spend more time together. What concerned the OP was his son’s reaction.

He has expressed previously that he would like his aunt to be his mom, and he really resented his real mom because of how she treated him and how she disappeared. The news sparked a lot of questions and the dad tried to answer all of them as honestly as he could, but in general, the boy was happier and became a more active kid after OP officially announced that he and Silvia are a couple.

In later updates, he revealed that his feelings were reciprocated and that the family took the news quite calmly

Image credits: ThrowRA0727

The last update in the story is a year after the last events. “A year later and we are living together and I couldn’t be happier. We’re currently living together and are in the market for a new home. Our children are really benefiting from having two parents around to care for them. Our daughters have begun to call each other sisters and my son is accepted in the same way. They’re basically just normal siblings.”

Other family members accepted the formation of this new family and even the late husband’s parents were happy that Silvia chose a person they were already familiar with. Speaking of Silvia’s late husband, she hasn’t forgotten him and still wears her wedding ring, but as a necklace. The OP understands that he will forever be a part of her and it doesn’t bother him.

The biggest worry in this story was always the ex-wife. The OP wasn’t particularly fond of the thought that she could come back to their lives and was dreading the inevitable conversation with her. As far as he knows, the woman is doing well, she is keeping clean, has a job and a boyfriend. The dad doesn’t want her reintroduced to the kids but doesn’t reject the idea completely either.

In the last update, the man said that they are planning to get married and are looking for a new home

Image credits: Adrian Scottow (not the actual photo)

There are no further updates, but as the OP mentioned that he was engaged to Silvia, someone wanted to know when the wedding was supposed to take place and at that time they hadn’t picked out a time, but they were thinking of doing it in 2022. Hopefully, they found a dream house and are enjoying their marriage.

This was quite an epic story and the best part is that love conquered all, so now two people who went through a lot of pain in their lives can enjoy their lives with one another. Let us know your thoughts and reactions about this story in the comments!

That means the internet helped a new very loving and happy family to be created

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arianwen001 avatar
Deborah Harris2
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is the first time one of these postings has made me cry when reading it. After realising it was over 2 years ago since it appeared on Reddit and curious to see if the posters story had ended the way I hoped it would, i'm happy to say that things worked out for him and they have become a family and hoping to marry this year ( if they haven't already done so) .. lovely, finally a Happy Ever After x

cali-tabby-katz avatar
Lakota Wolf
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank you for finding the update for us, Deborah! I was already dying inside (in a good way) as I read it here on BP. I am SO happy that both OP and his new love are both happy, AND I bet the kids are too!

Load More Replies...
rhodabike6 avatar
Seabeast
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"You're a man, even if she doesn't have feelings for you, you can help her develop them!" _ 🤦🏻‍♀️ _ No, just... no. That isn't how it works. I guess this explains those guys that won't take no for an answer.

yvonnedauwalderbalsiger avatar
Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And then the "That's what leaders do." at the end 🤮 Surprised he didn't write "alpha" instead and I would bet anything, that he thinks of himself as a catch and a nice man instead of a walking red flag with a fedora on top.

Load More Replies...
newbookscast avatar
ginny weasley
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Update from reddit "It has nearly been a year since my former sister-inlaw, Silvia, decided to begin dating. For anyone not familiar with the story a quick TLDR. I have two children and had been married to her sister, my ex-wife. A combination of cheating, drug abuse, and child abuse ended that relationship. The ex ran off to another state with her lover. I remained on good terms with her family as they all took my side. Silvia and her late husband became very close to me, but we tragically lost him to a workplace accident. Silvia in the years following that became close as our daughter's are best friends and eventually she and I both developed romantic feelings for each other. A year later and we are living together and I couldn't be happier. We're currently living together and are in the market for a new home. Our children are really benefiting from having two parents around to care for them. Our daughters have begun to call each other sisters and my son is accepted in the same way.

newbookscast avatar
ginny weasley
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They're basically just normal siblings. It is interesting with my son. When he is talking to his friends or teacher he refers to Silvia as his Mom, but when calling her or talking to her he still calls her aunty, and our daughters are the same as I am uncle. It confuses some people we meet, but it's always an interesting story to tell. We haven't had much contact with my ex-wife since my last post, though from what we hear she's doing much better. Has a halfway decent job, a boyfriend, and is keeping clean. I don't like to think about her being reintroduced into my children's lives, but if she continues to be a clean and well-rounded person, it will make it much harder for me to deny her visitation should she seek it. Not just from a legal standpoint, but from a moral one as well. Neither Silvia and I look forward to that day, but the worries seem way off.

Load More Replies...
Load More Comments
arianwen001 avatar
Deborah Harris2
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is the first time one of these postings has made me cry when reading it. After realising it was over 2 years ago since it appeared on Reddit and curious to see if the posters story had ended the way I hoped it would, i'm happy to say that things worked out for him and they have become a family and hoping to marry this year ( if they haven't already done so) .. lovely, finally a Happy Ever After x

cali-tabby-katz avatar
Lakota Wolf
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank you for finding the update for us, Deborah! I was already dying inside (in a good way) as I read it here on BP. I am SO happy that both OP and his new love are both happy, AND I bet the kids are too!

Load More Replies...
rhodabike6 avatar
Seabeast
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"You're a man, even if she doesn't have feelings for you, you can help her develop them!" _ 🤦🏻‍♀️ _ No, just... no. That isn't how it works. I guess this explains those guys that won't take no for an answer.

yvonnedauwalderbalsiger avatar
Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And then the "That's what leaders do." at the end 🤮 Surprised he didn't write "alpha" instead and I would bet anything, that he thinks of himself as a catch and a nice man instead of a walking red flag with a fedora on top.

Load More Replies...
newbookscast avatar
ginny weasley
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Update from reddit "It has nearly been a year since my former sister-inlaw, Silvia, decided to begin dating. For anyone not familiar with the story a quick TLDR. I have two children and had been married to her sister, my ex-wife. A combination of cheating, drug abuse, and child abuse ended that relationship. The ex ran off to another state with her lover. I remained on good terms with her family as they all took my side. Silvia and her late husband became very close to me, but we tragically lost him to a workplace accident. Silvia in the years following that became close as our daughter's are best friends and eventually she and I both developed romantic feelings for each other. A year later and we are living together and I couldn't be happier. We're currently living together and are in the market for a new home. Our children are really benefiting from having two parents around to care for them. Our daughters have begun to call each other sisters and my son is accepted in the same way.

newbookscast avatar
ginny weasley
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They're basically just normal siblings. It is interesting with my son. When he is talking to his friends or teacher he refers to Silvia as his Mom, but when calling her or talking to her he still calls her aunty, and our daughters are the same as I am uncle. It confuses some people we meet, but it's always an interesting story to tell. We haven't had much contact with my ex-wife since my last post, though from what we hear she's doing much better. Has a halfway decent job, a boyfriend, and is keeping clean. I don't like to think about her being reintroduced into my children's lives, but if she continues to be a clean and well-rounded person, it will make it much harder for me to deny her visitation should she seek it. Not just from a legal standpoint, but from a moral one as well. Neither Silvia and I look forward to that day, but the worries seem way off.

Load More Replies...
Load More Comments
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