Woman Was About To Check Out In-Laws’ New Pool, Only To Learn Women Are Not Allowed To Use It, Refuses To Ever Come Back
Florida has a mixed reputation, but there is no denying that it’s abundant with sunshine, beaches, swimming, and general outdoor relaxation. The idea of a woman taking a swim isn’t and should not be controversial anywhere and particularly not in Florida.
So one internet user shared her story where precisely the opposite happened. She and her husband were going to a football draft party at his parent’s new house in Florida. Among other features, it had a pool, and naturally, she decided to go for a swim while the sports fans did their thing inside. But a problem arose when her in-laws pulled her aside to tell her about a strange rule they had for their home.
You would think that in the 21st century, people would let their own family members feel comfortable at home
Image credits: Anna Shvets (not the actual photo)
A woman visited her in-law’s new Florida house, equipped with its own pool
She wanted to take a swim while some other family members ran their fantasy football draft
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
Her husband’s parents insisted on the weird and restrictive rule
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Ok-Internet-2420
Overbearing in-laws can even be a mental health hazard
While not as important as the relationship with one’s own parents and spouse, in-laws can still have a significant impact on the mental health of a person. While each family is different, as cultures and circumstances vary, the general trend for women is that negative relations with a mother-in-law are associated with more psychological distress. This concept works both ways, as women who have a good relationship with their mother-in-law indicate lower levels of psychological stress.
Any good relationship is a two-way road. There has to be mutual respect and affection between both parties. Even in cases where the relationship outwardly looks positive, it’s always possible that one party is constantly biting their tongues and secretly dreading seeing the other. After all, the mother-in-law in this story does not seem to think she and her husband are doing anything wrong. They might think that their relationship with their daughter-in-law is perfectly normal, even if the feeling is absolutely not mutual.
OP was right to keep some distance between herself and the in-laws
The number one solution in such a situation is spousal support. The OP indicated that her husband does think the rule is ridiculous and pretty sexist. But, on the flip side, he doesn’t fully understand why she might not want to go back. Hence her decision to ask internet users what they think. Rightly, they agreed with her, that her in-law’s rule was at the very least misguided since Florida is not a place where one can escape seeing people in bathing suits. Regardless, it doesn’t seem like the in-laws are going to reconsider any time soon, despite paying for a pool that only half the family can use.
Not visiting them is ultimate, the best option. Even if they change their mind on pool rules, what woman would feel comfortable swimming, knowing that they are internally judging you? OP is correct to set boundaries, and those only work if they are maintained. Circumstantial evidence shows that the literal, physical distance between a couple and their in-laws actually increases the chance of a marriage lasting longer. And it will also prevent any arguments between both parties that will just make the situation worse.
People responded with indignation at how the woman was treated and OP answered some reader questions
I would have stayed out of the pool but walked around in my suit!
I was just about to say this! Can't swim in their pool? OK, I won't swim but I will wear my modest swim suit in and around your house!
I think I would have invited loads of gay male friends to jump in and out of the pool in tiny trunks (or whatever they want to wear) and see how comfortable those narrow-minded fückwits are then!
Nice!
I'd have just removed the suit. I'm a nudist anyway.
Should have asked if they also wanted you to wear a burqa. FFS.
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Racist
That's absolutely not racist. Women do, in fact, wear burqas to hide their bodies. While I find the notion of wearing the burqa to be rooted in control and misogyny, I do not condemn the women who choose to do so, freely, even though I disagree with it. So sorry, your comment is BS manufactured outrage
That's true, Tamra. In general, I'm against burqas and chadors and Niqabs, but I saw an interview once with women in America who had immigrated from countries where they were common, and were asked why they still wore them, and one woman complained that she would feel unclothed without it, and likened it to how someone from a country where nude sunbathing was not common might feel about being asked to go to a public nude beach.
It's their house and their rule .....but maybe suggest you don't feel safe in their home if the men can't control themselves around women.
It's just infuriating and disgusting. She's been in a committed long term relationship with their son. Didn't Jesus say if your eye offends you pluck it out.
Exactly!! It's not her job to not turn them on.
I'd have walked around in my swim suit but your idea is a great one to get the discussion started!
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This is the whole point. Men get hard in their Speedos
I would have stayed out of the pool but walked around in my suit!
I was just about to say this! Can't swim in their pool? OK, I won't swim but I will wear my modest swim suit in and around your house!
I think I would have invited loads of gay male friends to jump in and out of the pool in tiny trunks (or whatever they want to wear) and see how comfortable those narrow-minded fückwits are then!
Nice!
I'd have just removed the suit. I'm a nudist anyway.
Should have asked if they also wanted you to wear a burqa. FFS.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Racist
That's absolutely not racist. Women do, in fact, wear burqas to hide their bodies. While I find the notion of wearing the burqa to be rooted in control and misogyny, I do not condemn the women who choose to do so, freely, even though I disagree with it. So sorry, your comment is BS manufactured outrage
That's true, Tamra. In general, I'm against burqas and chadors and Niqabs, but I saw an interview once with women in America who had immigrated from countries where they were common, and were asked why they still wore them, and one woman complained that she would feel unclothed without it, and likened it to how someone from a country where nude sunbathing was not common might feel about being asked to go to a public nude beach.
It's their house and their rule .....but maybe suggest you don't feel safe in their home if the men can't control themselves around women.
It's just infuriating and disgusting. She's been in a committed long term relationship with their son. Didn't Jesus say if your eye offends you pluck it out.
Exactly!! It's not her job to not turn them on.
I'd have walked around in my swim suit but your idea is a great one to get the discussion started!
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
This is the whole point. Men get hard in their Speedos