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Recently I decided I want to illustrate my personal frustrations and voice my suicidal ideation and experience with dark thoughts. When I began, I thought I might share them with my friends but got the courage to share them with everyone that I knew. When other people saw the work, they connected with the stories from their viewpoint.

Talking about suicide and people's experience is very important. I want to continue creating my images to hopefully be able to help and reach out to others struggling with dark and suicidal thoughts.  If you're interested, you can find the whole project on Facebook. I hope you enjoy it.

More info: Facebook

#1

Many Days I Feel Like I'm Just Watching Everyone Else Go By

Many Days I Feel Like I'm Just Watching Everyone Else Go By

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    #2

    Getting Up Is The Hardest

    Getting Up Is The Hardest

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    Magpie
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh yes! I get this when I'm relapsing.

    #3

    I'm On A Different Planet

    I'm On A Different Planet

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    Night Owl
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There are more people with you on that planet than you realize, but you just can't see them

    Daria B
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It feels more like there's a planet for each of us. Own it! You have a whole planet to yourself! And within the universe, we're all connected by gravity and whatever else is yet to be discovered. So, enjoy the stars, everyone. ★☆☆★♥

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    Anita Jones
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wonderful work you’re doing!

    Beatrice Multhaupt
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Of course you're sick and tired of vapid little cheery get-well suggestions, but....here's something without any side effects: Steve Nobel's You Tube posts. Just as the idea of treating mental/emotional issues as strictly physical via medication is absurd, neglecting spiritual issues (NOT religious) is unproductive. Every problem's solution requires all four perspectives: the physical, mental, emotional and the spiritual. The very best of luck to you!

    Colleen Coughlin
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I get this...it's like you're watching the world through a fishtank. It's a feeling of total disconnect.

    #4

    So I Spend A Lot Of My Energy Hiding My True Feelings

    So I Spend A Lot Of My Energy Hiding My True Feelings

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    #5

    It's A Struggle To Get Out Of This Thinking

    It's A Struggle To Get Out Of This Thinking

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    Emma B
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's so hard to ask for it

    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah... defifinately.. I think a huge part of my not seeking help is fear of how people respond... fear of a bad response.. fear of rejection.... and previous bad or unhelpful responses...

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    Sheila Weila
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You do know that brain chemistry is causing this. Right? Brain chemistry can be sinister. It doesn't ask permission. It just causes toxic thinking/emotions. If only there was an easy way to figure out which treatment would work best without all of the trial and error. For me, kittens and music helped a lot.

    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    im not sure its always brain chemistry... Sometimes it life situation... hopelessness, repetitive failure, trauma and abuse..lack of hope or relief... sometimes things are out of balance but i think more often than not its a symptom of a sick and unhealthy society... Depression and suicide is an. Epidemic of these last few generations... —> have our brains all short circuted or is it a sign of something else thats fallen out of sync... Animals are always the best therapy.. the amount of times its my dog who has been the saving grace

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    glorytherainwing
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have only one person/pet that helps me. My cat Thistle

    Sheila Weila
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had two cats, but I didn't start to snap out of depression until I was caring for 7 motherless kittens 24/7.

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    Magpie
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For me the *right* meds - it can take a long time to get sorted. ( like three years for me). And the right doctor who has license to prescribe weird meds and high doses. Cats help with day to day maintenance.

    Charlotte-Louise Troman
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sometimes I don't even want to be pulled out of the rabbit hole.

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    #6

    And The Fog Just Takes Over So I Can't See At All

    And The Fog Just Takes Over So I Can't See At All

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    #7

    I Just Deal With The Bizarre Ways They Make Themselves Feel Like They're Doing Something To 'Help'

    I Just Deal With The Bizarre Ways They Make Themselves Feel Like They're Doing Something To 'Help'

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    Night Owl
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They want to help, don't know how and hate feeling helpless (but knowing that still doesn't really help or make a big difference)

    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Looking back and having hindsight and empathy for peoples weird responses has been helpful... but peoples lack of understanding and knowing how to respond has been sooo damaging for me... its. Like people ‘do their bit’ and dust. Their hands

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    glorytherainwing
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My cat helps me from suicide. pretty much because everyone comments bad things to me here WIN_201910...4dbaeb.jpg WIN_20191002_18_42_55_Pro-5def9d54dbaeb.jpg

    How Terribly Unfortunate
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    glorytherainwing, you are amazing the way you are. The people who do things like that just don't know you personally. (I don't either, but innocent until proven guilty, right?)

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    #8

    Somedays, I Wonder How I Survive Them

    Somedays, I Wonder How I Survive Them

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    #9

    If I'm Doing Ok.... I'm Sure To Be Reminded That I'm Actually Not

    If I'm Doing Ok.... I'm Sure To Be Reminded That I'm Actually Not

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    Keilyn Hiilei
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nobody ever truly feels prized. We all sometimes feel low.

    Magpie
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Depression is when we feel like s**t ALL THE TIME and it lasts for wayyyy too long. *s**t: highly technical meaning: no pleasure in things we used to love doing , looow self esteem, sleeping too much / too little, thinking it is all so bad that suicide might be a relief.

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    #10

    And Don't Get To Close. If You Do, I'll End Up Pushing You Away

    And Don't Get To Close. If You Do, I'll End Up Pushing You Away

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    glorytherainwing
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    my friends push me away so im pushing them away

    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thats the one thing i wish i could change about my experience is pushing people away.... its like a compulsion - but looking back - ive lost some wonderful friends... Its the saddest part, for me to my journey. I wish id know how not to push people away.

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    Just Me
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG I am like this too. I regret this as now I am 56 with no friends or family at all.

    weatherwitch
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Absolutely, I do this all the time 😞

    Magpie
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think it *might* help to think of friendship as a spectrum or a dance. It is not an on / off situation. Sometimes we can have fun with X person sometimes not. Some people deserve our total trust, others may get to borrow my bicycle , but not my house keys. Sometimes we are close in the dance, sometimes a bit away.

    #11

    So I Feel A Bit Stuck In My Own Thoughts

    So I Feel A Bit Stuck In My Own Thoughts

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    #12

    When I Have Braved People To Talk, I Realise There Isn't A Lot Of Point To It

    When I Have Braved People To Talk, I Realise There Isn't A Lot Of Point To It

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    Emma B
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This should be at the top!

    glorytherainwing
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i feel you. we all feel you except for foxy

    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thakyou. =0). Maybe foxxy is having a s**t time... venom has to come from somewhere..

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    Keilyn Hiilei
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The biggest thing is.... there ARE people who are just like you.

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    #13

    People Meaning Well Hurt Me More Than They Could Ever Imagine

    People Meaning Well Hurt Me More Than They Could Ever Imagine

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    Emma B
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mother does this. She even goes so far as to try and relate and say that she's sad too because "you're only as happy as your saddest child." I'm not responsible for your life!

    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Geez @emmaB thats mentally messed up... Not sure how she thinks that relating.... sounds very burdensome. i think your mum needs help - blaming you for her feelings is just not cool. Its funny how ‘trying to relate’ is so toxic...

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    Magpie
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have met this too. Far too often. All i can suggest is find some good info, then direct people to that. This is my favourite site for this >>>>>https://www.metanoia.org/

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    #14

    If I Don't Hide My Feelings, I Have This Magical Gift Of Draining Everyone Around Me

    If I Don't Hide My Feelings, I Have This Magical Gift Of Draining Everyone Around Me

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    PastelHope
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You won't drain people if you show your feelings, trust me. I know it's hard but talking to people helps, and one of your friends or family might actually be going though the same stuff as you and might be able to tell you ways they deal with it :).

    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i think sometimes talking to the wrong people.... or people who think things should ‘go away’ or don’t understand... not everyone wants to listen or be supportive... i think this one is in response to times when ive reached out to Those that dont understand... People do get tired of people that are sad and struggling... especially in this age of positivity and self-help. people struggle when people are struggling... and im ok with that.. now. I know many people are supportive too though.

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    Magpie
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is the depression talking hun. On the other hand some people may be toxic and should be avoided.

    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah - sometimes.... some people just dont get it or know how to support.. I think it really scares some people when they feel the uncomfort of another persons pain.

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    #15

    The World Moves Without Noticing Me

    The World Moves Without Noticing Me

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    glorytherainwing
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    yes. I, too, feel like a useless speck on earth with no use whatsoever

    Lemon
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I too feel this. At parties, my 'friends' will go abandon me to go be with everyone else and say, "we'll come back' but they never do, and i usually have to uber it home. And the bad thing about it is that I have to pretend that it's okay, when it's not. I always have to fake smiles. But that song by Ariana Grande says 'F**k a Fake Smile!' And it's so relatable!

    #16

    I Reach Out For Help But No One Really Has Interest Or Time

    I Reach Out For Help But No One Really Has Interest Or Time

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    Magpie
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There used to be a course about mental health first aid. A lot of people just don't understand, want to help but don't know how: and can say some fairly horrible things. Also it is very hard for us to tell people what we need.

    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Very true - i think alot of peoples ‘odd responses’ is about them not understandong how to respond... being afraid to respond or say the wrong thing... or having it touch to closely to feeling theyre feeling themselves... or they’re too busy in the rat race of life.... I think my depression has taught me how to slow down and to stop and to hear people... Knowing the isolation and what it feels like has been a catalyst for change in my own responses to people.... which in an odd sence - is what helps. i think too - trying to get help and getting burned or getting a bad response makes it harder to reach out in the future..

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    Lemon
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can relate to this so much. No one listens. Everyone only thinks it's 'bad' or 'odd' or something like that.

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    #17

    So I Keep Up The Lies

    So I Keep Up The Lies

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    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is me facing the truth... Ive spent sooo many years hiding and pretending... it quite exhausting tob be honest.. its scary sharing my mental mess... but its strangely releasing...

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    #18

    They Really Have A Way Of Making Me Do What They Want

    They Really Have A Way Of Making Me Do What They Want

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    #19

    Sometimes I Just Can't Stop What's Going To Happen

    Sometimes I Just Can't Stop What's Going To Happen

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    CaughtInTheRain
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    @Foxxy I am so disappointed in your words and hate. Certainly not the person I thought you were.

    What does a Foxxy say?
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    CaughtInTheRain hello there, I am the REAL Foxxy and I would NEVER say anything like that. Some of you may not be aware but I do have a troll that is copying me. If you don’t believe me open this name and then the other Foxxy and you will see a vast difference. I am so sorry for my Trolls disgusting attitude.

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    Clarebear
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    @ Foxxy I like them. I think that they are a good way to show depression without being scary.

    What does a Foxxy say?
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    hello there, I am the REAL Foxxy and I would NEVER say anything like that. Some of you may not be aware but I do have a troll that is copying me. If you don’t believe me open this name and then the other Foxxy and you will see a vast difference. I am so sorry for my Trolls disgusting attitude.

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    happy_bisexual
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    @foxxy usually you are so much more positive.... woah there can't we all just get along?!?

    Lemon
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    F**K THE F**K OFF FOXY I'VE BEEN HAVING A S****Y DAY TOO, BUT I'M NOT ACTING LIKE YOU!! THIS IS AMAZING ART AND IF U CAN'T SEE THAT THEN F**K OFF AND HATE SOMEWHERE ELSE I THOT U WERE BETTER THAN THIS BUT NO! OKAY, SO F**K OFF!

    What does a Foxxy say?
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    hello there, I am the REAL Foxxy and I would NEVER say anything like that. Some of you may not be aware but I do have a troll that is copying me. If you don’t believe me open this name and then the other Foxxy and you will see a vast difference. I am so sorry for my Trolls disgusting attitude.

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    Anita Jones
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your honesty is brilliant! You’re going to help a lot of people!!

    Keilyn Hiilei
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Its hard. But you'll eventually be okay.

    ThymeGarden
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You're minimizing and invalidating her feelings. That's exactly what she's trying to get people to understand! Comments like that only cause more harm.

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    What does a Foxxy say?
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Grrrr, I have been happy putting up with troll Foxxy for a while now but their comments on this are disgusting and a way to ruin MY reputation. This has gone too far now, you are just a pathetic a*****e with no life. Just a poor excuse of a human being. To everyone who has been effected by my trolls comments I am so very sorry. As someone who suffers severe depression and chronic stress I can’t express how much I appreciate these posts. I may not always comment on them but I do read them and value them. So thank you.

    Sarah Hensley
    Community Member
    5 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    Foxxy
    Community Member
    6 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    These are lame , Check the other guys version of depression and youll be shocked to see

    Dirk Aarden
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, it's really lame that this artist has found a way to deal with her depression by making cartoons about it. Regardless of another artists cartoon being more powerful to you, I would never qualify anything that helps someone dealing with mental issues as lame.

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    #20

    I Feel Trapped And Enticed

    I Feel Trapped And Enticed

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    Magpie
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh yes!!! Not many people understand that I get confused when I am sick and that this is actually common in depression.

    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes! I feel the whole experience is a mess of confusion - Ididnt realise it was a common experience.!

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    #21

    Blankness And Emptiness

    Blankness And Emptiness

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    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Its nice not to be alone in my expereicene - It was a hard choice to share these - so thanksyou.

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    Magpie
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh yes! I can relate to this.

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    #22

    It's Just A Mess...

    It's Just A Mess...

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    Alessandra Moraes
    Community Member
    5 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

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    #23

    Somedays I Do Things Better

    Somedays I Do Things Better

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    glorytherainwing
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    but i never get to use them

    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lol - yes - me too at times. i know what. I should do but i just cant bring myself to do it at times.! One step at a time... each hour each day...

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    Sergei Vera
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    thanks 4 sharing it, I will share them to make my people understand more about it