Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

Man Walks Out On Newborn Daughter After C-Section “Ruins” His Perfect Family, Wife Left In Shock
Mother gently holding and kissing newborn baby, highlighting bond challenges with cesarean baby and family struggles.
177

Man Walks Out On Newborn Daughter After C-Section “Ruins” His Perfect Family, Wife Left In Shock

ADVERTISEMENT

Unlike moms, dads miss out on direct contact with the baby through carrying, delivering, and nursing, which can make them feel less connected with their child. However, the attachment should come with time, and to move things along, there are some practices that can help strengthen the bond.

Unfortunately, this dad didn’t want to try any of the remedies and demanded a divorce after he started feeling like he couldn’t bond with his daughter. His wife was left completely baffled by his statement, which pushed her to seek advice online.

RELATED:

    Due to less direct contact with the newborn, some dads may take longer to bond with their baby

    Image credits: Jimmy Conover / unsplash (not the actual photo)

    Just like this dad, but instead of trying to strengthen the connection, he started demanding a divorce

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: engin akyurt / unsplash (not the actual photo)

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: Ethan Sykes/ unsplash (not the actual photo)

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: ChallengeConnect590

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Fathers don’t have the same feeling of bonding and attachment that moms do

    Image credits: Andrej Lišakov / unsplash (not the actual photo)

    While dads don’t go through pregnancy, nor do they experience the hormones, the changing body, and the giving of birth, their lives turn upside down too, leaving them feeling all sorts of emotions. These feelings can become very overwhelming when they don’t feel connected or bonded with their newborn. Fathers don’t have the same feeling of bonding and attachment that moms do, which can make them feel distinct and all-consuming emotions. 

    “One of the things men get hit with, especially first time fathers, is the enormous sense of responsibility and protection,” says parenting coach Richard Horowitz. “That might interfere in the short term with that sense of bonding with the child.”

    There are many other reasons why parents, fathers in particular, might not feel connected with their child right off the bat. The dads who feel like they don’t have a ton of experience with babies might get too in their head about it and worry that they don’t have it all figured out like others. They may also be unsure on how to knit that tight bond when the baby doesn’t do much besides sleeping, eating, pooping, and crying. If they couldn’t see their baby be born (like in the case of C-section) or be there after birth, it can take longer to bond in these instances as well. 

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    But it shouldn’t be anything major to worry about. It’s common for dads not to feel instant attachment to their child, as studies have found that their oxytocin (“love hormone”) levels only truly increase when they spend some time caring for their children

    Spending time together is all a parent needs to bond with their baby

    Image credits: Toa Heftiba / unsplash (not the actual photo)

    It might be hard to do, but dads who truly want to strengthen the bond with their child after welcoming them into this world should put aside the hesitation and anxieties they’re feeling and simply spend time together—it’s all the baby really needs to feel safe and loved. 

    In reality, bonding seems a lot more difficult than it really is. Parents have a lot of natural instincts that help them take care of a baby. They have to build on them and spend time together, and the bond will be created in no time. 

    ADVERTISEMENT

    James Di Properzio, a father of four and co-author of The Baby Bonding Book for Dads, recommends dads fitting the quality time through cuddles, taking the night shift, getting involved in feeding and diaper changing, and comforting the baby when they’re in distress. This might all be intimidating and challenging at first, but dads shouldn’t just give up by handing the baby to the mom—instead, they should try to exude reassuring and calm energy that will put everyone, including the baby, at ease. 

    There’s a lot of information available to parents full of easy-to-follow instructions on every daily activity, from holding the baby to changing a nappy and bathing a newborn. To feel more confident in spending time and bonding with their baby, all parents need is a little practice. And after they have mastered it, not only will they feel more connected to their child, but they’ll also allow the other parent to take a break from parenting duties. This is important, as both parents need time off to recharge and relax!

    The woman provided more information in the comments

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Some commenters suspected that the man was just looking for excuses to divorce his wife

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    Ic_polls

    Poll Question

    Thanks! Check out the results:

    Share on Facebook
    Austeja Zokaite

    Austeja Zokaite

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Hi, glad you swung by! My name is Austėja, and I’m a writer at Bored Panda. With a degree in English philology, I’m interested in all aspects of language. My mission is to master the art of writing and add my unique touch to every personal story and uplifting article we publish. In my time here, I’ve covered some fun topics such as scrungy cats and pareidolia, as well as more serious ones about mental health and relationship hiccups. When I’m not on my laptop, you’ll probably find me devouring pastries, especially croissants, paired with a soothing cup of tea. Sunsets, the sea, and swimming are some of my favorite things.

    Read less »
    Austeja Zokaite

    Austeja Zokaite

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Hi, glad you swung by! My name is Austėja, and I’m a writer at Bored Panda. With a degree in English philology, I’m interested in all aspects of language. My mission is to master the art of writing and add my unique touch to every personal story and uplifting article we publish. In my time here, I’ve covered some fun topics such as scrungy cats and pareidolia, as well as more serious ones about mental health and relationship hiccups. When I’m not on my laptop, you’ll probably find me devouring pastries, especially croissants, paired with a soothing cup of tea. Sunsets, the sea, and swimming are some of my favorite things.

    Gabija Saveiskyte

    Gabija Saveiskyte

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Hi there! I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. My job is to ensure that all the articles are aesthetically pleasing. I get to work with a variety of topics ranging from all the relationship drama to lots and lots of memes and, my personal favorites, funny cute cats. When I am not perfecting the images, you can find me reading with a cup of matcha latte and a cat in my lap, taking photos (of my cat), getting lost in the forest, or simply cuddling with my cat... Did I mention that I love cats?

    Read less »

    Gabija Saveiskyte

    Gabija Saveiskyte

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Hi there! I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. My job is to ensure that all the articles are aesthetically pleasing. I get to work with a variety of topics ranging from all the relationship drama to lots and lots of memes and, my personal favorites, funny cute cats. When I am not perfecting the images, you can find me reading with a cup of matcha latte and a cat in my lap, taking photos (of my cat), getting lost in the forest, or simply cuddling with my cat... Did I mention that I love cats?

    What do you think ?
    User avatar
    Add photo comments
    POST
    Miriam Insidecor
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This man is scum and your daughter deserves better. Get rid of him and make sure everyone knows exactly why he decided to abandon his child.

    Leyre
    Community Member
    1 week ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is an update, it is from 9 months ago, at the end they divorced because the husband keeps saying that he cannot form a bond with the daughter. He doesn't go to visitation and doesn't pay the established child support. But there seems to be no other family out there (which is what I suspected).

    Michael Melfa
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Figures. Guy is a deadbeat, child was born, decided this was too much man, and bolted with the weakest excuse he could think of.

    Load More Replies...
    Trillian
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They want to fix this???? You can't fix a guy like that.

    amy lee
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can fix them like you would a dog. Less testosterone might result in him thinking with his head as opposed to the backside.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
    Miriam Insidecor
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This man is scum and your daughter deserves better. Get rid of him and make sure everyone knows exactly why he decided to abandon his child.

    Leyre
    Community Member
    1 week ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is an update, it is from 9 months ago, at the end they divorced because the husband keeps saying that he cannot form a bond with the daughter. He doesn't go to visitation and doesn't pay the established child support. But there seems to be no other family out there (which is what I suspected).

    Michael Melfa
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Figures. Guy is a deadbeat, child was born, decided this was too much man, and bolted with the weakest excuse he could think of.

    Load More Replies...
    Trillian
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They want to fix this???? You can't fix a guy like that.

    amy lee
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can fix them like you would a dog. Less testosterone might result in him thinking with his head as opposed to the backside.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
    You May Like
    Related on Bored Panda
    Popular on Bored Panda
    Trending on Bored Panda
    Also on Bored Panda
    ADVERTISEMENT