Wife Of 19 Years Connects Dots About Her Husband’s Affair Through His Lily Tattoo
Interview With Expert
Tattoos have long been a form of art beloved by people. While these days tattoos do not necessarily always have a special meaning or memory and may even be a big fail, still, very often people choose to ink something that reminds them of important people, pets or events.
But occasionally, a person’s choice of tattoos may reveal something that they would have liked to remain secret. For example, one Reddit user shared her story that her husband got a tattoo, lied about the reasoning for it, and as it later turned out – this tattoo was dedicated to his affair partner.
More info: Reddit
Tattoos can not only be a beautiful tribute to remember somebody but can also lead to divorce
Image credits: inkedangelstattooshop (not the actual photo)
This woman shares that her husband got a tattoo, stating that his sister’s husband has a few tattoos and it made him realize he wanted one as well
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)
She didn’t really like his tattoo, which was a lily with some ivy around it, but didn’t make a big deal out of it – well, until she went to his work event
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
She met one of his colleagues named Lily and while he swore it was just a coincidence, eventually he admitted that they had been having an affair for two years
Image credits: u/throwaway_cheated24
She added that her husband begged her not to get a divorce, but she is certain that she can’t forgive him for this
A few days ago, one Reddit user shared her story to one of the communities explaining how her husband lied about the reasoning for his tattoo and it revealed that he had actually been having an affair for 2 years with his work colleague. The post caught a lot of attention and collected over 13K upvotes and 1.4K comments.
The original poster (OP) started her story by sharing that a year and a half ago, her husband got a tattoo. While it looked weird as he had never mentioned that he was considering getting one, he assured his wife that he had seen his sister’s husband’s tattoos and started thinking about it. He got a lily on his chest and around a year later, he went to get some ivy around it.
Now, everything started to come to light when the woman joined one of her husband’s work parties and met his colleague named Lily. While at first he swore it was a coincidence, eventually he admitted that they had been having an affair for the last 2 years. In addition to this, the man added that Lily had a baby named Ivy, which was also in his tattoo. The woman shared that she’s still in shock and despite her husband’s request to not get a divorce, she can’t forgive this.
Community members were totally horrified by the man’s actions and shocked by his audacity to ask the woman to still make their relationship work. “He basically had his AP’s name and her (and his??) daughter permanently inked over his heart and thinks you can work this out??” one user shared. “I hate that guy SO MUCH on OP’s behalf. Gross,” another added.
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
“Discovering a partner’s infidelity, especially after nearly two decades of marriage, is a profound shock to the system,” shared Leah Marie Mazur, a divorce recovery coach, with Bored Panda. “It’s not just the betrayal itself but the unraveling of the narrative you’ve lived by and trusted. It’s like the ground beneath you has shifted, and everything you believed about your relationship and partner comes into question.”
Speaking about rebuilding trust after infidelity, Leah pointed out that the journey is intensely personal and varies from one relationship to another. “Rebuilding trust is possible, but it requires a monumental effort from both partners,” she added.
“The partner who committed the infidelity must be willing to be completely transparent, take full responsibility for their actions, and commit to the healing process, which includes understanding the pain they’ve caused and making genuine efforts to rebuild the bond.” On the other hand, the betrayed partner needs to feel secure in their decision to forgive and be open to the process of healing, which can be incredibly challenging.
However, Leah noted that both partners must be equally committed to this path, and even then, there are no guarantees. Trust, once broken, changes the fabric of a relationship.
Finally, the divorce recovery coach said that deciding whether to pursue reconciliation or separation is one of the toughest decisions you will ever make. She shared a few considerations that might help that include your emotional well-being – “Are you able to envision a future where you can genuinely forgive and move past the betrayal, or does the thought of staying leave you feeling stuck and resentful?”
Another thing to consider is values and goals and the reflection on core values and what you want for your future. Also, Leah shared that it’s important to talk to trusted friends, family or a professional who can offer you perspective and support to navigate this decision. And finally, listen to yourself. “You know yourself best—your limits, your strengths, and what you can handle.”
Don’t forget to check out Leah’s Linktree where you can find all the products, services and channels!
So while tattoos can mark a relationship or friendship on your body, they can also quite often cause a lot of family drama. But what do you guys think about this situation? Share your thoughts below!
Redditors shamed her husband not only for cheating but for how he handled the whole situation
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I love the comment about... insist tattoo be removed... divorce him after tattoo removed. Boss move!
I do believe that in certain special circumstances a couple can get over cheating. Life is strange and people are different. S**t happens and who can really say how life turns out. But not this one. Oh no. Not this one. The tattoo was too much. He got a symbolic tattoo of his true love right above his heart. That's what this is. Nothing else. He never felt any desire to do anything like this gor his wife and daughter. And that's the deathly hit for the marriage. It's not just that he snubbed his wife, his own child also wasn't important enough to be engraved over his heart. Just Lily and Ivy. Just those two were worth getting tattooed. That's too much. She can't get over the fact that he didn't just cheat, he engraved that woman and her child onto his body forever, right above his heart, without doing anything to commemorate his wife and child. Not even the impulse was there.
A tattoo for his girlfriend, but never considered one for his wife, and he expects forgiveness. What a chump! Those divorce papers wouldn't be printing fast enough for me.
A good counselor - would pretty certainly suggest that at some point in the healing process - you will be ANGRY. In your shoes, I'd be bloody angry NOW. He made "vows" to you in your marriage- i.e. promises. HE- broke them. And in a nasty sneaky way. I might shop for a lawyer who will not settle for "dividing" the assets- you deserve more than that out this disaster.
I'd go with "If you were serious about working on this marriage, that would start with you removing those tattoos, breaking off with the affair partner, and changing jobs so you are no longer working together. You haven't done those things. You're don't care about working it out, you just want to be able say you tried to."
This.......is unbelievable. The craphead not only cheats on his wife, but has his chest tattooed to commemorate the affair, AND has a love child with her. In addition, he expects his wife to just "forgive" him. Face it: the jerk doesn't want forgiveness, he wants OP to condone his behavior and the end result. While staring at a permanent reminder of his philandering. This guy isn't just riding the crazy train, he's the engineer. I think that OP needs to reconsider her original plan of having a nice divorce, and get a no-holds-barred lawyer. Her cheating spouse needs to be reminded every single day of his life of how his decision to destroy his marriage was a stupid one. In dollars and cents. I wonder how he and his bang partner will weather the ensuing gossip around the office. I wouldn't be surprised if either of both ended up finding new jobs and/or breaking up.
Pretty sure coworkers are already aware these two were having affair, especially when she got pregnant.
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Just a minor note: he had his AP name tattooed after less than 2 years but was with it over a decade. Where's her tattoo?
Of course he doesn't want a divorce. His mistress is probably also married, so know he's lost everything, including his 2 income lifestyle. He'll probably also be homeless, going by the rental situation everywhere.
He wants her to stay? Should have thought of that before he had an affair, especially a longstanding one. He just wants his cake and eat it too. Just as asinine as when homewreckers say they didn't want to hurt anyone.
I love the comment about... insist tattoo be removed... divorce him after tattoo removed. Boss move!
I do believe that in certain special circumstances a couple can get over cheating. Life is strange and people are different. S**t happens and who can really say how life turns out. But not this one. Oh no. Not this one. The tattoo was too much. He got a symbolic tattoo of his true love right above his heart. That's what this is. Nothing else. He never felt any desire to do anything like this gor his wife and daughter. And that's the deathly hit for the marriage. It's not just that he snubbed his wife, his own child also wasn't important enough to be engraved over his heart. Just Lily and Ivy. Just those two were worth getting tattooed. That's too much. She can't get over the fact that he didn't just cheat, he engraved that woman and her child onto his body forever, right above his heart, without doing anything to commemorate his wife and child. Not even the impulse was there.
A tattoo for his girlfriend, but never considered one for his wife, and he expects forgiveness. What a chump! Those divorce papers wouldn't be printing fast enough for me.
A good counselor - would pretty certainly suggest that at some point in the healing process - you will be ANGRY. In your shoes, I'd be bloody angry NOW. He made "vows" to you in your marriage- i.e. promises. HE- broke them. And in a nasty sneaky way. I might shop for a lawyer who will not settle for "dividing" the assets- you deserve more than that out this disaster.
I'd go with "If you were serious about working on this marriage, that would start with you removing those tattoos, breaking off with the affair partner, and changing jobs so you are no longer working together. You haven't done those things. You're don't care about working it out, you just want to be able say you tried to."
This.......is unbelievable. The craphead not only cheats on his wife, but has his chest tattooed to commemorate the affair, AND has a love child with her. In addition, he expects his wife to just "forgive" him. Face it: the jerk doesn't want forgiveness, he wants OP to condone his behavior and the end result. While staring at a permanent reminder of his philandering. This guy isn't just riding the crazy train, he's the engineer. I think that OP needs to reconsider her original plan of having a nice divorce, and get a no-holds-barred lawyer. Her cheating spouse needs to be reminded every single day of his life of how his decision to destroy his marriage was a stupid one. In dollars and cents. I wonder how he and his bang partner will weather the ensuing gossip around the office. I wouldn't be surprised if either of both ended up finding new jobs and/or breaking up.
Pretty sure coworkers are already aware these two were having affair, especially when she got pregnant.
Load More Replies... Just a minor note: he had his AP name tattooed after less than 2 years but was with it over a decade. Where's her tattoo?
Of course he doesn't want a divorce. His mistress is probably also married, so know he's lost everything, including his 2 income lifestyle. He'll probably also be homeless, going by the rental situation everywhere.
He wants her to stay? Should have thought of that before he had an affair, especially a longstanding one. He just wants his cake and eat it too. Just as asinine as when homewreckers say they didn't want to hurt anyone.
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