Man Feels Torn Between His Husband And His Mother‑In‑Law After Secretly Helping Her

Infidelity automatically destroys any semblance of a once-harmonious relationship. It ruins the person who was cheated on, the people closest to them, and even some of those outside the inner circle.

It’s a sad state of affairs that this man had to face when his beloved mother-in-law had an affair. When he helped the woman during her time of need, his husband and brothers-in-law immediately took it as a sign of betrayal. 

While he understands his spouse’s sentiments, he maintains he did nothing wrong by showing kindness. However, he wonders how he could move forward. 

Infidelity is like a hurricane that destroys everyone in its path

Man and his mother‑in‑law sitting on a bench outdoors, sharing coffee, highlighting family tensions and support dynamics.

Image credits: africaimages (not the actual photo)

In this story, a woman ruined her relationship with her sons, which greatly affected her son-in-law

Man feels torn between husband and mother-in-law after secretly helping her, impacting his marriage and family dynamics.

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Man feels torn between his husband and mother-in-law after secretly helping her, causing conflict and emotional distress.

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Image credits: Zinkevych_D (not the actual photo)

Knowing he only acted out of kindness, the son-in-law sought advice from the internet on how to move forward

Man feels torn between husband and mother-in-law after secretly helping her, struggling with loyalty and family tension.

Man conflicted between his husband and mother-in-law after secretly helping her, facing family disappointment and tension.

Man feeling torn between his husband and mother-in-law after secretly helping her, expressing regret and compassion.

Alt text: A man feels torn between his husband and mother-in-law after secretly helping her, expressing regret and compassion.

Man feeling torn between husband and mother-in-law after secretly helping her, seeking advice on what to do next.

Image source: anonymous

A child’s high expectations of their parents may hinder forgiveness if one of them cheats

Woman gently holding a young boy’s face in a bathroom, illustrating a man torn between husband and mother-in-law.

Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)

The man’s brothers-in-law were understandably upset by their mother’s infidelity. But apart from the ruined family dynamics, their grievances were also likely because of their high expectations of her. 

“Children assume that their parents should be adults and deal with marital frustrations in mature ways that do not include deceit and betrayal,” New York-based psychotherapist and educator Dr. Lawrence Josephs wrote in an article for Psychology Today. 

Dr. Josephs further noted that children are “idealists” in the sense that they view their parents as “role models of mature adult behavior.” Because of this, being aware of a parent’s cheating and violation of a marital vow becomes disillusioning and difficult to come to terms with. 

According to the author, his mother-in-law reached out to her sons, likely to try to make amends. However, it will likely take a long and grueling process before they even open themselves up to a proper conversation with her. 

As Dr. Josephs states, betrayed children need to see actual changes that have withstood the test of time. And in order for this to happen, the erring parent must “eat humble pie.” 

“The unfaithful parent must accept the punishment as well deserved and the loss of trust and respect as legitimate,” Dr. Josephs wrote. 

Given these reasons, it is clear why the author’s husband and brothers-in-law harbored such resentment toward their mother and why they saw his actions as a form of betrayal. They expected a complete severing of ties from everyone, even from him.

Readers had varying opinions on the matter

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Man feeling torn between his husband and mother-in-law during a tense argument in a home setting.

Image credits: voronaman111 (not the actual photo)

The man shared an update to his story

Man feels torn between his husband and mother-in-law after secretly helping her in a difficult family situation.

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Man with glasses looking thoughtful and torn between his husband and mother-in-law while outdoors.

Image credits: voronaman111 (not the actual photo)

Ultimately, he still feels torn on where to place himself, and ended his post with another question

Man feels torn between his husband and his mother-in-law, struggling with emotional distance after secretly helping her.

People in the comments provided their answers

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