Guy Leaves Instead Of Waiting Around After Wife Bans Him From The Delivery Room, She’s Furious
Giving birth is quite a feat. Of course, everyone has different experiences, but there are few things everyone has in common: there is at least some pain, discomfort, uncertainty and, eventually, relief.
Because each pregnancy differs from the other, even when we’re talking about the same mother, one cannot know how things are going to pan out. When giving birth, you have to be prepared for the unexpected.
Sometimes, even dads get surprised during birth, which is what happened to the guy in this story. He was hoping to be a part of his son’s birth and was ready to get into the delivery room to help out his wife when he was turned away by her. Scroll down to read the full story and see why the wife got mad at him.
When it comes to what happens in the delivery room, mothers are the ones dictating the rules
Image credits: Büşranur Aydın (not the actual photo)
However, some people might get upset by those rules. This is what happened to the guy in the following story
Image credits: Sarazh Izmailov (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
Image credits: aitathawayiwenthome
Image credits: Vera Arsic (not the actual photo)
The emotions are understandable and heightened by stress
It is easy to understand both sides of this story. On one hand, the author’s wish to be a part of his son’s birth is understandable. On the other, the wife is the one who dictates her rules when it comes to delivery—after all, she’s the one doing the work.
What’s perplexing to many people in the comments is how this conversation never came up during the whole pregnancy. He simply assumed that he will be allowed to go in without expressing a desire to participate. She assumed he will stay out without telling him about her intention not to invite him in.
Image credits: Ksenia Chernaya (not the actual photo)
To avoid such misunderstandings, parents-to-be should draft a birthing plan before the big day
A birthing plan is an outline of how one prefers their birth to go down. In it, mothers answer all the questions that would come up on the day of the birth. That way, they don’t need to be bothered with anything else but birthing the baby when the time comes. In other words, it’s a way to ease the mental load for the mother while also informing everyone else of their preferences.
Some of the questions that are usually answered in the plan are:
- What’s the preferred delivery type?
- What’s the preferred atmosphere?
- What props they might need during the delivery?
- What methods can be used to induce labor?
- What’s the preferred pain management?
- Who is allowed in the delivery room? Who can visit after?
- What to do with the placenta?
And even when all of those are decided, it still doesn’t mean that things go according to it. The mother might think that she wants an all-natural birth, but when the pain hits her, she might want painkillers. She might plan to have her husband in the delivery room, but when she’s tired and in pain, she might not want to see him anywhere near her. Respecting that decision is a part of being a good partner.
The author provided more background information about the situation for people looking for more details
Some people sided with guy, claiming it was unfair she didn’t warn him about her wishes in advance
Many said that both of them were not being kind to one another
Others sided with the wife, urging the author to apologize ASAP
i think those that are saying YTA are missing the point its not that she didn't want him there its the fact she didn't say in advance and waited till she was in labour and expected him to wait around for hours if they talked about it before he could have prepared and brought some things to make himself more comfortable while waiting
… not to mention mentally prepare. He’s probably been spending nine months imaging meeting his child in a certain way. It’s unreasonable to expect an expectant parent to *perfectly* shift emotional gears without warning
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Y’all need some marriage counseling. Your communication skills are sorely lacking. ESH
I really don't think ESH simply because his wife deprived OP of an experience he really wanted BOTH to share! He wanted HIM and HIS wife to be the ones holding the baby first, not everyone else but not him! I agree it is her decision, but it should have been stated prior, especially because it seems that OP would have shared previously the fact he can't wait to hold his baby, by how he described the entire situation.
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i think those that are saying YTA are missing the point its not that she didn't want him there its the fact she didn't say in advance and waited till she was in labour and expected him to wait around for hours if they talked about it before he could have prepared and brought some things to make himself more comfortable while waiting
… not to mention mentally prepare. He’s probably been spending nine months imaging meeting his child in a certain way. It’s unreasonable to expect an expectant parent to *perfectly* shift emotional gears without warning
Load More Replies... Y’all need some marriage counseling. Your communication skills are sorely lacking. ESH
I really don't think ESH simply because his wife deprived OP of an experience he really wanted BOTH to share! He wanted HIM and HIS wife to be the ones holding the baby first, not everyone else but not him! I agree it is her decision, but it should have been stated prior, especially because it seems that OP would have shared previously the fact he can't wait to hold his baby, by how he described the entire situation.
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