Mom Made This Curriculum To Make Her 3 Sons Good Future Husbands, One Of The Sons Shares His Experience Years Later
Family life and the ability to improve it often becomes a stickling point in any marriage. That is why people are so often interested in books on how to build relationships, listen to experts and even attend various workshops.
Unfortunately, this does not always bring any desired result. This is the case most likely as people turn to experts only when they are faced with really serious problems. That is, their marriage has already deteriorated and sometimes it is very difficult to fix everything. But it would be much easier if such lessons had taken place since childhood.
For example, like TikTok blogger Doug Weaver, who recently recorded a video where he told how his mother had been teaching him and his older brothers for years since he was a kid. It was all about how to become a better husband in the future. She even made a whole curriculum and called it “Husbands In Training”.
More info: TikTok
TikTok blogger told how his mother had been teaching him to be a better husband for years
Image credits: @dougweaverart
The video immediately flew into the recs, gaining more than 5.6M views, over 1.3M likes and as many as 41.1k comments by today. No wonder, as according to Doug, the curriculum included a lot of materials, both incredibly helpful and not so much too. Among the latter, the original poster names, for example, an adult film quiz, which he hopes will never see the light of day again.
Image credits: @dougweaverart
The curriculum also contained such topics as eating etiquette and chivalry
But in general, the course turned out to be incredibly useful, both for Doug and for his brothers. It covered everything from eating etiquette to chivalry and avoiding mistakes in building a strong relationship.
For example, what to do if your spouse says something and the information that they give is wrong. Or how to handle if something wrong is said in public versus in private, when it is appropriate to correct them, and when it’s not.
Image credits: @dougweaverart
Doug’s father finally joined his wife’s “Husbands In Training” course too
Doug’s mom had faced some poor relationships before she met their father, so all the good stuff in her curriculum was based on her personal experience as a wife. Doug and his brothers learned a lot about the importance of consent, the basics of respecting and honoring women and of course listening to them correctly.
Moreover, when Doug was in high school, his father, having learned a lot about his wife’s lessons, decided to join his sons. The point is his parents had never taught him to be a good husband, so the man also learned a lot of proper things from his own wife. Mom even made certificates of completion, signed them and gave them to her sons on their wedding day.
Image credits: @dougweaverart
The blogger also wants to share his knowledge of being a good husband with his own son
Doug expects there’s a lot in his knowledge that he will revive to do with his own son (though something like an adult film quiz will still remain somewhere on his old laptop). He will definitely tell him how consent works, will teach him to identify when women are in distress, how to intervene appropriately and when it isn’t worth intervening at all. Much about healthy conflict revolution and other really fruitful stuff.
The OP notes that he and his brothers are already married – and all three wives do appreciate these lessons mom gave their husbands in childhood.
Image credits: @dougweaverart
In the comments, people immediately noted that Doug’s mother is a legend and writing a book is a must for her. People also claimed that raising a boy is a huge responsibility for any woman, because their ability to do good or damage is amplified due to their status in society.
And of course, the most popular comment was the wish to publish mom’s curriculum ASAP. By the way, in his next video, OP told that he talked with his mother and they plan to launch a channel with her lessons for future and current husbands.
You can check Doug’s video in full below
@dougweaverart Husbands in training! #parenting #storytime #story ♬ original sound – dougweaverart
People online told him that his mom is a legend and she definitely has to write her own book
Image credits: @dougweaverart
Doug’s mom decided any content they create they are going to offer for free. The next thing they’re gonna do is to create something helpful for parents too. It looks like this channel has already gained popularity.
By the way, did you have similar advice in your childhood? And from whom did it come – your mother or father? Feel free to share your experience in the comments and perhaps the most helpful advice you have ever received on this topic.
Your mother *IS* a goddess, and this is content she absolutely could share with the world!! My boy is 17, but hopefully he can still learn... And to any future girlfriends of his (or boyfriends): I'm sorry. I really, truly tried my best.
Brilliant! Did she also teach you about taking half the physical and mental load at home? This is the No.1 complaint from most women. Equal division of home responsibilities!!
Just that most women can't give up control. Doing half of the work also means being able to shape the work yourself and use your own judgements on the required work. Unless you're ready to let the other person also decide with the same weight, stop complaining.
Load More Replies...Consent has now become a part of the science curriculum in primary school sex education. So since it's kind of "new" to teach, we have been looking for good angles to express how to approach the subject in a novel way and ran into the "tea and consent" concept. You guys should look it up. It's so innuendo based but works perfectly.
I forgot to mention that it's part of the curriculum now in Sweden.
Load More Replies...Someone said can't a man become a good husband himself by imitating his father. My husbands father beat the living tar out of his wife and two oldest son for years. Yep, you guessed it...my FIL learned it from his Dad. Luckily, his mother and father divorced after the A**hole found another woman to abuse. My husband was raised by the kind compassionate woman that his mother was. I think, if he hadn't been raised under his mother's guidance, he may have repeated the cycle. Sometimes it's best to learn things from Mom.
My father was raised in the same kind of household. At 14 he was already 6 ft tall. His father was not. His father gave my Nana a particularly bad beating one night. Well, at 14, my dad had had it. It sounds awful, but his father got the message when my dad slammed him against the ringer washer and told him if he ever laid a hand on any of them again, he'd kill him. I think he meant it. He then turned and said to his mom that he's leaving right now. Are you and my brother coming with me? They all left right then. They never saw the man again. My dad was the best husband anyone could ask for. He was way ahead of his time in regards to my mom, and women in general. Maybe that's why I've never married. Never encountered anyone I believed could be just that. Very high bar I don't regret.
Load More Replies...I'm a little conflicted about this. On the one hand, his mum has taught her sons important lessons (particularly about consent, communication, and respect). On the other hand, the curriculum of training them to be good husbands feels as outdated as training women to be good wives.
I feel it depends partially on how you define "good husband" and "good wife." If the curriculum had focused on being the breadwinner, keeping the kids in line, and telling your wife she's a good cook it would be outdated lol, (and if "good wife" means doing the cleaning and cooking and always dressing up before he gets home.. hah!) but I think if her idea of a good husband (and good wife) was about healthy communication, emotional intelligence, and consent etc., I feel differently about it. I agree with the comment that said it could be called how to be a good spouse.
Load More Replies...Genuine question, please don't downvote if it sounds rude: What would be the reaction if a father made curriculum on how to be a good wife? I'd imagine people would find it insulting, but I'm glad that the mom's lessons helped these men in their lives
Content of the curriculum is what you should consider. If a father is teaching life skills (as the mom in this article is) to his daughters, only a fool would be insulted. So nah, your imagination is off a little.
Load More Replies...i think it's awesome that this mom taught her children how to be good people, I just wish it wasn't so heteronormative
I think it was more that she just acknowledged the reality she was dealing with. Things like communication and conflict resolution aren't heteronormative; they're basic life skills that everyone needs.
Load More Replies...This is a good idea, but unnecessarily gendered. Majority of the topics for being a good partner are the same for both (e.g. communication, sharing the load, respecting your partner) and those topics that make sense to treat differently because of the reality we live in (e.g. recognizing dangerous men, consent) are just as important for daughters, just for (*most likely*) different reasons. She had sons only, but for those wanting to adapt this to your own kids, please include the girls. :)
This is great! LMAO I just yesterday told my husband that we need to instill some life lessons in our teenage kids. They've never been interested when we've invited them to cook with us, but I'm at the point where their assistance needs to be mandatory. Cleaning Basics 101 is happening this weekend. General Auto Maintenance, Lawn Care, and He Got Game: How to Meet, Win Over, and Keep A Good Woman need to make it onto the schedule, also. haha
I thought this would be bad, teaching boys that their goal in life is to get a wife but it was actually really good.
It's too bad they are holding back on the "adult film" industry stuff, cause it's a huge factor in the development of misogynism in boys and young men, a terribly exploitative industry, and yet normalised to the point that it's considered weird for men of any age if they don't care for it. If they are gonna make a series/book I hope they will review it!
I agree. I don't have a problem with pornography itself, but it can be very addictive, and it can give teenage boys high expectations of what their future sexual partners look like naked and what the partners would be willing to do in bed.
Load More Replies...I hope he starts a YouTube channel! I've got 3 boys here who need to learn this stuff. Not to mention I have a lot to learn myself. I don't feel qualified to teach my boys how to be "good husbands". :/
When my nephew was little, and as he grew up, I watched his mom (as well as his dad) as to how they were raising him. One evening, I forget exactly what was that happened, but I do remember her turning and saying to me "I'm raising him to be a good husband someday.". He is. He's also one of the best human beings I've ever known.
Your mother is brilliant! My MIL is also an amazing women who raised her boys right! Its her youngest (a daughter) who is the wild child! I only have one child, a boy who now calls himself a feminist. I thought it was weird at first (like a white person being a black activist), but I get it now.
That part worried me. Discussing the ethics of porn is fine, but how do you turn it into a quiz? I couldn't name three porn stars, three porn movies, or three positions.
Load More Replies...At the point where BP redacted PORN, I stopped reading. Seriously, fúck that, it's ridiculous. /edit: oh, and as I posted my comment before finding the source of the content so I could read it uncensored, fúck tiktok too. It's a goddamn chinese propaganda platform disguised as "we're innocent and only show you kitten videos" social media. Fúck them in particular. https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2019/sep/25/revealed-how-tiktok-censors-videos-that-do-not-please-beijing
Why do people act like marriage is mandatory? Maybe they don't want to marry, maybe they only want a partner. Stop this patriarchal nonsense
Women used to be raised to believe that their only function in life was to be a dutiful wife and unfortunately, this doesn’t feel that different. I also wonder what would have happened if one of her sons had been gay? How uncomfortable would his life have been continually being brainwashed with his mother’s views on marriage.
Not sure I'm following the logic. She was teaching them how to be a good husband, the gender of their partner seems irrelevant.
Load More Replies...Your mother *IS* a goddess, and this is content she absolutely could share with the world!! My boy is 17, but hopefully he can still learn... And to any future girlfriends of his (or boyfriends): I'm sorry. I really, truly tried my best.
Brilliant! Did she also teach you about taking half the physical and mental load at home? This is the No.1 complaint from most women. Equal division of home responsibilities!!
Just that most women can't give up control. Doing half of the work also means being able to shape the work yourself and use your own judgements on the required work. Unless you're ready to let the other person also decide with the same weight, stop complaining.
Load More Replies...Consent has now become a part of the science curriculum in primary school sex education. So since it's kind of "new" to teach, we have been looking for good angles to express how to approach the subject in a novel way and ran into the "tea and consent" concept. You guys should look it up. It's so innuendo based but works perfectly.
I forgot to mention that it's part of the curriculum now in Sweden.
Load More Replies...Someone said can't a man become a good husband himself by imitating his father. My husbands father beat the living tar out of his wife and two oldest son for years. Yep, you guessed it...my FIL learned it from his Dad. Luckily, his mother and father divorced after the A**hole found another woman to abuse. My husband was raised by the kind compassionate woman that his mother was. I think, if he hadn't been raised under his mother's guidance, he may have repeated the cycle. Sometimes it's best to learn things from Mom.
My father was raised in the same kind of household. At 14 he was already 6 ft tall. His father was not. His father gave my Nana a particularly bad beating one night. Well, at 14, my dad had had it. It sounds awful, but his father got the message when my dad slammed him against the ringer washer and told him if he ever laid a hand on any of them again, he'd kill him. I think he meant it. He then turned and said to his mom that he's leaving right now. Are you and my brother coming with me? They all left right then. They never saw the man again. My dad was the best husband anyone could ask for. He was way ahead of his time in regards to my mom, and women in general. Maybe that's why I've never married. Never encountered anyone I believed could be just that. Very high bar I don't regret.
Load More Replies...I'm a little conflicted about this. On the one hand, his mum has taught her sons important lessons (particularly about consent, communication, and respect). On the other hand, the curriculum of training them to be good husbands feels as outdated as training women to be good wives.
I feel it depends partially on how you define "good husband" and "good wife." If the curriculum had focused on being the breadwinner, keeping the kids in line, and telling your wife she's a good cook it would be outdated lol, (and if "good wife" means doing the cleaning and cooking and always dressing up before he gets home.. hah!) but I think if her idea of a good husband (and good wife) was about healthy communication, emotional intelligence, and consent etc., I feel differently about it. I agree with the comment that said it could be called how to be a good spouse.
Load More Replies...Genuine question, please don't downvote if it sounds rude: What would be the reaction if a father made curriculum on how to be a good wife? I'd imagine people would find it insulting, but I'm glad that the mom's lessons helped these men in their lives
Content of the curriculum is what you should consider. If a father is teaching life skills (as the mom in this article is) to his daughters, only a fool would be insulted. So nah, your imagination is off a little.
Load More Replies...i think it's awesome that this mom taught her children how to be good people, I just wish it wasn't so heteronormative
I think it was more that she just acknowledged the reality she was dealing with. Things like communication and conflict resolution aren't heteronormative; they're basic life skills that everyone needs.
Load More Replies...This is a good idea, but unnecessarily gendered. Majority of the topics for being a good partner are the same for both (e.g. communication, sharing the load, respecting your partner) and those topics that make sense to treat differently because of the reality we live in (e.g. recognizing dangerous men, consent) are just as important for daughters, just for (*most likely*) different reasons. She had sons only, but for those wanting to adapt this to your own kids, please include the girls. :)
This is great! LMAO I just yesterday told my husband that we need to instill some life lessons in our teenage kids. They've never been interested when we've invited them to cook with us, but I'm at the point where their assistance needs to be mandatory. Cleaning Basics 101 is happening this weekend. General Auto Maintenance, Lawn Care, and He Got Game: How to Meet, Win Over, and Keep A Good Woman need to make it onto the schedule, also. haha
I thought this would be bad, teaching boys that their goal in life is to get a wife but it was actually really good.
It's too bad they are holding back on the "adult film" industry stuff, cause it's a huge factor in the development of misogynism in boys and young men, a terribly exploitative industry, and yet normalised to the point that it's considered weird for men of any age if they don't care for it. If they are gonna make a series/book I hope they will review it!
I agree. I don't have a problem with pornography itself, but it can be very addictive, and it can give teenage boys high expectations of what their future sexual partners look like naked and what the partners would be willing to do in bed.
Load More Replies...I hope he starts a YouTube channel! I've got 3 boys here who need to learn this stuff. Not to mention I have a lot to learn myself. I don't feel qualified to teach my boys how to be "good husbands". :/
When my nephew was little, and as he grew up, I watched his mom (as well as his dad) as to how they were raising him. One evening, I forget exactly what was that happened, but I do remember her turning and saying to me "I'm raising him to be a good husband someday.". He is. He's also one of the best human beings I've ever known.
Your mother is brilliant! My MIL is also an amazing women who raised her boys right! Its her youngest (a daughter) who is the wild child! I only have one child, a boy who now calls himself a feminist. I thought it was weird at first (like a white person being a black activist), but I get it now.
That part worried me. Discussing the ethics of porn is fine, but how do you turn it into a quiz? I couldn't name three porn stars, three porn movies, or three positions.
Load More Replies...At the point where BP redacted PORN, I stopped reading. Seriously, fúck that, it's ridiculous. /edit: oh, and as I posted my comment before finding the source of the content so I could read it uncensored, fúck tiktok too. It's a goddamn chinese propaganda platform disguised as "we're innocent and only show you kitten videos" social media. Fúck them in particular. https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2019/sep/25/revealed-how-tiktok-censors-videos-that-do-not-please-beijing
Why do people act like marriage is mandatory? Maybe they don't want to marry, maybe they only want a partner. Stop this patriarchal nonsense
Women used to be raised to believe that their only function in life was to be a dutiful wife and unfortunately, this doesn’t feel that different. I also wonder what would have happened if one of her sons had been gay? How uncomfortable would his life have been continually being brainwashed with his mother’s views on marriage.
Not sure I'm following the logic. She was teaching them how to be a good husband, the gender of their partner seems irrelevant.
Load More Replies...
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