Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
Hey Pandas, Which “Normal” Life Milestone Feels More Like A Trap Than An Achievement? (Closed)
We all grow up being told certain milestones are signs of success — buying a house, getting married, landing that “dream” job. But sometimes, they don’t feel like achievements at all… they feel like traps.So Pandas, what’s a “normal” life milestone that felt more like a burden than a win? Let’s talk about it.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Having kids. Have you spent any time with 5-9 year olds? They do not stop talking/moving/asking questions/trying to play in traffic/etc. I would lose my mind!
Politics, climate change, school shootings, deportations. That's not the world I want to bring children into. And 18 years? Yah nah, that's a lie. You're a parent for the rest of your life.
I like staying up late. I like sleeping in. I like money and freedom to do what I want when I want to. NO REGRETS!
Final score:
14points
AuspiciousTree283 6 months ago
I have met people who desperately want kids. This is less of a trap and more of a perspective, which is fine.
StrangeOne 6 months ago
Yeah. I agree. Sort of hard to comment on without trying to sound like you're attempting to persuade their feelings on having kids. All the points above are specific to this person's location and preferences.
Load More Replies...
RELATED:
#2
Marriage. I don't hate it but/and I really need to not live under the same roof as a love interest. I used to tell my wusband (he was my husband... Not anymore) I wish we lived in a duplex at the very least. I got a lot of hate at 23 for that thought process. Now at 49 I still stand on it.
I got got once and refused to do it again. Overrated!
Final score:
8points
Blondie23 5 months ago
My uncle told everyone after his wife (my aunt) died that he would never remarry. He met a wonderful woman and she has her own house, he has his. They are committed but don't live together. It works for them. I applaud them for doing what works for them. For me... I can't live without my husband! He and I love being together. I think in 2025 you have to structure your relationship in a way that works for you and the person you are with. Screw social norms and do what works!
Kalevra 5 months ago
100% Marriage is a shame. Two pieces of paper do not cement my loyalty to someone else. My actions and personal commitment do. Not to mention that all these people who get married under God are liars. Spouse gets sick? "Its too much" Rich or Poor? "You're a loser. / All this means nothing." Better or Worse? "You've changed." You took vows with your god and you get divorced? GMAFB.
StrangeOne 6 months ago
An even bigger trap is getting married to someone overseas, on a green card, where you're only allowed to live in the country for the marriage. Once you divorced, you're out the home and out of the country. This is one reason I will not marry my LDR partner just to have that deportation threat hanging over my head throughout the whole marriage. I'd rather go through the portals separately, if moving abroad is what I choose to do.
#3
Adulthood
As a kid u get to play 24/7 and any mistake u make (not any but most) gets forgiven on the basis of "your just a kid".
Once u hit adulthood it feels like everyones out to get u, why dont u have a job yet? Why dont u have a house? Why arent u dating? One screw up and your sued out of house and home.
Sometimes i just wanna go back to being 17...
Final score:
7points
Earonn - 5 months ago
But as an adult I can make my own decisions. I can (more or less) do what I want. Erich Fromm wrote a book "The Fear of Freedom", and it seems to apply here perfectly. People want to be children because boohoo, responsibility!
Do-nut touch da donut (Submission author) 5 months ago
Huh? Look mate im not saying i hate being 18 or the responsibility with it, im saying i hate how people treat adults, especially when theyve just been thrusted into a position they werent prepared for... yes i can make my own descisions but the world expects you to make the "right" decision, and who knows whats the right decision?
Load More Replies... Do-nut touch da donut (Submission author) 5 months ago
I was in highschool, and my school sucks at preparing u for life...
Load More Replies...
Rick Murray 5 months ago
Don't get sued as where I live isn't litigation mad, but otherwise yeah, pass an arbitrary age and suddenly responsibility lands squarely on your head and you're supposed to have all your sh*t together and... wait, what? So why the hell were they wasting so much bloody time with the periodic table and plane geometry instead of *useful* stuff like citizen's rights, managing money, acceptable ways to tell your boss he's a béllend without actually saying that....?
Do-nut touch da donut (Submission author) 5 months ago
Frrr, i had one class that had anythin to do with adulting. All the rest was useless history that ive heard every year for my whole life, and poems?! Where on earth am i going to need to know what a haiku is that i cant just figure it out then and there?!
Load More Replies... #4
My job. I'm incredibly fortunate because I make good money, it's quite close to home and the job is quite relaxed. But, if anything were possible, I'd quit in a heartbeat to become a full-time author. Not only because it's my passion, but the daily grind of sleep-work-rinse-repeat is chipping away at my sanity. I'm the breadwinner so quitting for the sake of writing isn't an option, so I'm now doing it as a hobby.
Final score:
6points
Earonn - 5 months ago
My recommendation is: work for something that aligns with your values. My day job is merely "in the finance department of a company", but we are pharma, and I know how much our product benefits our patients. And: do a job that is fun for you. Yes, my great hobbies are writing, drawing, knitting, science - but I do love to play with numbers. That's what they pay me for. Fun at work plus doing good (aka following my personal values) - I'd never leave, unless they pay me badly, and then only because I had to.
#5
Getting your first period. Everything just seem to go downhill from then on.
Final score:
6points
#6
Buying a home. It's great at first, you are investing in your future. Then the first major expense hits, and you realize that you can't just call the landlord and have it fixed. You have to pay for it yourself. After that you understand that home ownership is way more expensive than just the monthly mortgage payments.
Final score:
5points
featherytoad 5 months ago (edited)
I'm so sick of being a home owner. The house is paid in full, so I will never move to an apartment, to me, that would just be stupid. I've done some major repairs, and I'm always in, "What's going to happen next." mode. It's so much anxiety when something goes wrong.
#7
Gaining prestige. If you are reaching your goal for the sake of affirmation, you will be in for a rude awakening once you finish. It's nice to graduate, but not when you are seeking validation. Know why you are taking your education in the first place.
This also applies to the workplace. Got promoted? Nice. You get a pat on the back. Now, get back to work. Again, it might be something to celebrate about, but if you did it for validation but cannot handle the responsibility, that will get you in trouble.
Final score:
4points
#8
Marriage. It's so rarely an equal partnership, and so often only benefits one spouse - usually the male or dominant spouse. There are a very few marriages where each partner supports the dreams, aspirations, achievements etc of the other but ... mostly it's a trap, a cage for one of the spouses, usually the woman.
Final score:
3points
#9
Being born.
Final score:
3points
#10
Getting your driver's license.
Final score:
0points
#11
Getting your first adult job. You go from "cool, I am now a man of independent means" to "c**p, I gotta keep doing this cr*p for the next 50 yrs!?"
Final score:
-1point
#12
Career advancement. So you get promoted. Yay! Until you fully appreciate that the extra salary comes with the expectation that you'll spend even more time in meetings, even more time at work, maybe working on work at home when you should be resting and getting stressed because if other people screw up it lands on your head.
Final score:
-1point
What do you think ?
You May Like 50 Powerful Old Photos That Capture Emotion, Culture, And Everyday Life In The Past These 2-Sentence Horror Stories Will Send Shivers Down Your Spine 198 Lord of the Rings Trivia Questions To Revisit Middle-Earth
Indrė Lukošiūtė
Inga Korolkovaite
Eligijus Sinkunas
Related on Bored Panda
