“Only a honor citizen believes lies they have written about themselves.” - Here Lies, An Autobiography (saw it wrongly quoted in a book).

#1

I could care less. It's "I COULDN'T care less."

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#3

Music does NOT have charms to soothe the savage beast! it's breast! Savage breast!

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Paul C.
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9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When people say something along the lines of, "what do you mean, Pacifically ?" It's Specifically, for crying out loud!

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#4

"The proof is in the pudding" - a misquote of "The proof of the pudding is in the eating."

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#5

My favourite is that one that was attributed to Maggie Thatcher & used as an inspirational quote "You have to be lucky all the time. We only have to be lucky once"
When it was really what the IRA said to Maggie after the Brighton bombing

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#6

"I could care less."

Every time I hear people, intelligent people, respectable people, normal people, un-intelligent people, anybody really, say this phrase it makes my blood pressure spike. Oh, you could care less? You COULD, so.... it's possible for you to care less than you do? You could? That means you actually do care! ::Sigh::

You numskulls, the phrase is that you "COULDN'T care less", COULDN'T. COULD NOT. Meaning you're as low as it goes, it's not possible to go lower on the scale of caring. Gaaaah! Heart palpitations, I need an aspirin.

And yes, I predict that the most liked comment to my post will be something like: "I could care less how anyone says it." And no one will really know what they mean...

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#7

The title of thileaders!

I honestly thought it said "what's the worst mosquito you've ever heard?" Which only makes sense to me and my family, as we literally just fought off a swarm of golf ball sized blood suckers at our kids baseball game the other night. It was an epic showdown. I'm pretty sure I saw them fly off with one of our smallest players. I'll kknow if we all made it out alive at the next game tomorrow.

God save the little leaguers!

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jenm_1 avatar
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9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For the love of god...and Grammer nazis! In what must be some seriously meta shìr, I seriously published that and even my own title is "misquoted"! Should say "the title of this thread" Eff me. Sorry pandas!

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#8

Chomping at the bit... It's CHAMPING at the bit! People got it so wrong, the dictionaries gave up.

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David
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9 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

While technically correct, this one is super nit picky IMO. Champ and chomp are synonyms (according to some dictionaries). Generally, champing is biting or grinding with the teeth (like one might do on a smoking pipe or a pen/pencil) whereas chomping is usually associated more with eating. But the general idea of biting down with the teeth is the same. I used to own a horse / be around horses a lot and yes they do this and no, of course they are not trying to eat the bit. But the general mouth motion was very similar to when they are eating grass or hay. Unlike many misquotes, this one does not significantly change the meaning of the term.

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#9

For Brooklyn 99 fans: One of the worst/best misquotes of all time, "Yippie kayak other buckets." (Boyle misquoting John McClane in Die Hard)

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David
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9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Saying something you all know what they meant but said in a way that gets around BPs oh so sensitive censor bots. Kind of like the very abundant use of "frack!" on Battlestar Galactica.

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#10

Not mine, but people thinking it was money is power, France is bacon (it's Francis bacon)

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David
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9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am unsure what the 'correct' quote is supposed to be but money is power. There are a great many things you can do with wealth that you can not do without it.

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#11

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." was not what Gandhi said

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#12

"mods aren't our moms" (context I used to be a moderator for a minecraft server back in the day)

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#13

The sixteenth chapel

I’m gonna let that one sink in for a moment

He thought it was the sixteenth chapel Michelangelo had painted

He went on to brag about this to several people because he was such an informed expert

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kotlc_hamiltonn_erd9 avatar
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For context: learning about the renaissance in a HIGH SCHOOL class. Yes he was not in second grade. No I'm not joking though I wish I were.

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#14

I never bother about that.
Those who mattered don’t mind and those
Who mind don’t matter
-not dr Seuss

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Ozymandias73
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reminds me of how Bilbo made his speech in LOTR "I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

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#15

A friend of mine and his family use the word “teetotaling” to mean like “all in, all the way, to the point of overuse”. It actually means “barely dabbling.”

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jb_16 avatar
JB
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9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Um, I was under the impression it means “they don’t drink at all”

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#16

Laura Norder. (Law and order).

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#17

If you think ( so and so), then you’ve got another thing coming. It’s think not thing, because your first thought was wrong. 🤔

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apatheistaccount2 avatar
Apatheist Account2
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9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This has been debated before. As a 61 year old, I can say that it's always been "thing", only on here have I ever heard "think".

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#18

When the officer said to the magistrate that I had called [the officer] 'A stupid C**T'.

When what I had actually said was, he was 'Acting like a stupid C**T'.

Subtle difference in words, huge difference in UK law.

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#19

You can never trust what's on the internet...Abraham Lincoln

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#20

My friend always says, “Take it for granite,” instead of “take it for granted,” but hers makes a lot of sense.

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#21

Darth Vader to Luke in fact says: "No, I am your father!" NOT "Luke, I am your father"

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#23

Tow the line.

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david2074 avatar
David
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9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

sounds like the kind of word play Terry Pratchett might work into one of his books.

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#24

In meetings, a former manager used to tell us he didn't "want to pour salt in the womb." No, he wasn't trying to be funny (nor would it be). He had a few other misquotes of a similar nature, but this seemed to be everyone's favorite.

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david2074 avatar
David
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9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How would anyone not get this just from practical life experience. Most of us have had salt or other stuff like lemon juice get into a small cut. Salt is also a way to sterilize if you don't have better options but it hurts like hell. Perhaps the manager heard the term "saline abortion' ??

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#25

"The customer is always right" and "blood is thicker than water", mainly.

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Ray Horowitz
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9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, these are just internet myths. "The customer is always right" is the whole quote, and "blood is thicker than water" is from a German idiom that means exactly what it says.

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#26

"First let's kill all the lawyers" is not meant to say that lawyers are bad. It's the villain, D**k the Butcher in Shakespeare's Henry IV who says that and he wants to get rid of lawyers so he can get away with his crimes. And the correct quote is “The first thing we do is, let’s kill all the lawyers.”

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