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Hey Pandas, How Has Your View Of The Holiday Season Changed?
Hello, pandas. Has your view of the holiday season changed as you have gotten older?
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I always hated Xmas, the consumerism, the forced family gatherings where everyone pretends they care about each other. It's actually nice to not have to spend a dime on ingrates or spend time with people I cannot stand.
My wife and I do not give presents to each other. No pressure no more. We enjoy dinner together. Watching a Xmas movie. Having some wine. Our Bulldog next to us on the couch. Peaceful. Heaven on earth for me.
I enjoy Xmas season though. I enjoy the lights. I put up lots of decoration for my students in the classroom. But for myself I like it calm and quiet. A long healthy life with my loved ones. That's what I wish for.
Every single solitary minute is so precious to me. Even the cold/snowy weather. The unsuitable gifts. The crowds. The traffic. Because…. after years of serious health challenges I see the big picture a little bit better. Everyone wants to feel love. Hope. Peace. Acceptance. The true meaning of “holiday”.
I used to love the holidays, and still do. But how hectic everything was stressed me out. The stress has only gotten worse as I’ve aged. It makes the holidays and seeing family less enjoyable. I’m an adult in the spectrum with divorced parents who don’t have any consideration for the time of others , including my sisters and I. Every year it’s spent trying to coordinate things with my siblings and I stuck in the middle. Even as our lives get more complex and busy (work, relationships, etc), we still get pulled in every direction by family.
It's gotten more low key the older I get. When my grandparents were alive and my mom wasn't in the nursing home all holidays were big. Even after Mom went into the nursing home we still had them. Grandpa passed in 2017 and Grandma's dementia is bad. Mom can't physically get into my apartment anymore so while I decorate I don't do much for Christmas outside of work and most of my friends and I celebrate post holidays because of after holiday sales.
No more for us after finding out through research that it's king nimrod & his mom/wife who is being celebrated.. after his death she'd bring him presents & placed them under a tree she claimed grew overnight out of his grave area.. his bday, December 25th. Plus found out many other "gods" use same day too.. not for my family.. All I did was research.. not celebrating/ worshipping that day nor the others anymore!! Blessings 💜
It's too stressful now. I love giving people gifts and I love receiving gifts and to me it's truly the thought that counts. I'd be happier to get a toy that I treasured in childhood that someone found on eBay or a thrift store, a homemade food, or something thoughtful I can use than the latest gadget that I won't use and will bankrupt whoever bought it for me. There is a segment of the family who takes holiday spending very seriously- goes out after that Thanksgiving meal, gets in line for Black Friday, and makes Google docs with links of everything they want for Christmas for our buying convenience. It seems super greedy seeing as we are all adults who can buy whatever we want anyway. A meaningful gift is preferable. But I feel pressured to participate in this and it's made me feel super grinchy at the holidays. I'd like to tap out completely and share things that forge some connection to my loved ones rather than this mad grab for stuff. I just don't enjoy the holidays anymore because instead of the magic of traditions, forging memories with people I love, and feeling peace and goodwill, I just feel like it's a gift grab.
I loved Christmas as a kid, I still do. But can we not play Mariah Carey back to back from start of November to the end of January?! Thanks to that song being played NONSTOP I now turn off the radio whenever it comes on…
So I guess getting too hyped about it and celebrating it way too early is what I am getting at
I used to be obsessed with Christmas, still love it but I've had less people to spend it with.
Now in my mid-thirties, it feels like a chore and another day. That warm fuzzy feeling is gone.
Never a Christmas person ( pagan, sooo.... not my thing really!!) But always had boxing day with my parents, so they're free to do christmas day with my brother, (who I hate).... But Christmas 1999..... My mum had 3 months to live with cancer, so we planned a full family Christmas lunch....... Just sat down... And my dad had a massive heart attack, spent rest of Christmas at the ER..... So now both my parents are gone..... Yeah, fk christmas!!! Pagan summer solstice, all the way!!! (In Australia, at least!!!)
Without my parents, it seems so much more sad and not like Christmas. I have three younger sisters but we all live in different states. Because of Covid, and some surgeries I had to have, I feel so isolated. I miss the sisterly laughter and fighting and doing things together. So, Christmas hasn’t had the feeling of Joy, it used to. For a long time.
It hasn't. I'm still a Grinch. Have been since I was little.
Chrismas is more like "hey another year down the drain and we made it", less family and gifts.
It was the first year I fully didn't believe in Santa. It made it less magical
We started scaling back a few years ago - only getting gifts for kids in family or kids of close friends. As we stopped spending time with family - and especially holidays - we stopped buying those gifts as well. That sounds more grinch-like than it is - they were getting dozens and dozens of gifts, and we weren't getting a single acknowledgement of the gifts. So now, we do what makes us happy - a couple of small gatherings with specific family, we buy for a few kids that will appreciate, we donate to favorite local charities, and we decorate just enough to make the two of us happy (we don't have kids). Holidays are significantly less stressful, and I look forward to them versus stressing out about them for two months. And we aren't in debt in January!
I always loved Christmas as a kid. But over the last few years my father gave me nothing but JOKE gifts. He never gave me a single thing that I actually wanted. He died this year. I asked everyone for one thing. I told them all that it was the only thing I wanted and that if I only got that ONE THING I would be happy. Guess dad is still playing tricks beyond the grave. All I got was a bunch of gift cards. All I asked for l was a ceramic mug from this store that I liked. It made me realize no one really listens to me...ever. So screw the holidays. I'm gonna improve my life and never rely on anyone else ever again. Who needs 'em.
Let's talk about holiday music. Every year, my family would take a 2-week long road trip during winter break which included Xmas and New Year's. During the trip, we would listen to the radio. Nearly every single radio station, regardless of which state we were in, was playing Xmas music. And this starts the day after Thanksgiving and gets progressively worse until I want to smash the radio with a hammer. And it's not just in cars - it's in so many stores as well! As a kid, it was fun singing along to the songs. But as I've gotten older, I've connected more with my Jewish roots, and I'm not a fan of finding myself whistling or singing Xmas songs (the concept of which is literally against my religion) in my free time because that is all I've heard for weeks. Can't there be some radio stations dedicated to Xmas music and other stations just playing normal, non-holiday-themed music? Not everyone celebrates Xmas. There are other religions, other holidays, and other tastes in music during the month of December besides "Jingle Bells." I wish the holiday season was not so focused on Xmas and its associated songs.
The santa myth brainwashes kids into believing what they receive christmas morning is a comment on their, and their friends, moral worth, rather than their parents net worth.
Reindeer are apparently jerks unless they can use you for something.
The grinch was right all along.
The annual Christmas recrimination and guilt trip tour is not worth the drive to get there.
As a youngster with undiagnosed depression etc, Xmas always made me sad and mad. Why was everyone all happy happy joy joy just because the calendar says December? As I’ve gotten older though, and treated my mental illness, I get it. We can choose to be happy or not! So now I love Xmas and all the fanfare. Lights music, prezzies, food, bring it on! Absolutely nothing wrong with feeling happy in December. Learning about ancient humans and their winter time festivals helped too. Humans have always gathered in winter time, thousands of years before Christ. Be human, celebrate Solstice!
Since my kids are adults now, Christmas is just another day.
I worked in retail for many years, so that experience killed my holiday spirit. Lately it has been that every year I lose someone I cared about, so Christmas is now just a time I miss those who are gone. My Mom still loves it, so I try to be happy for her, but I am always sad.
It doesn't feel magical like it used to. All of my health problems seem to be keeping me from being happy for longer periods of time. I'm out of town for Christmas and all I want to do is just go home. It makes my family sad not to see me all happy like I used to be. Christmas isn't what it used to be.
When I was a kid, I had a lot of cousins who were somewhat close to my age, and most of us lived in the same county. We spent every holiday together. I looked forward to it. I wasn't a popular kid, so my family was pretty much everything to me. That changed in my teen and young adult years, but that was temporary and I suspect typical. Then I moved to another state to be gainfully employed and became a mother. The holidays are exciting for kids, and I was proud to be able to provide for them.
Now, most of that is gone. My extended family is in several states, my cousins have their own families, and my kids are almost all grown and have everything they need. Christmas is just another day, only with expectations. I've decided to reject those expectations, including trying to make that day special somehow, especially since I don't subscribe to the religious beliefs that go along with it. I'm going to enjoy my typical weekly visit with my parents and my 4-day weekend. I'm done with the rest.
Christmas is more like "hey another year down the drain and we made it", less family and gifts.
Christmas is more like "hey another year down the drain and we made it", less family and gifts.
I haven't enjoyed Christmas since I was a young child. I always felt very stressed out by family expectations, and gifts of any kind made me feel extremely guilty, so Christmas was something to dread. But I've now been in therapy for two years, working on childhood issues, and this was the first truly peaceful and enjoyable Christmas I've had in 40 years. Usually I would spend the week after Christmas clawing my way out of a deep, dark depression, but right now I'm working on some craft projects and snuggling with my dog. I'm so grateful!
Gifts on any kind used to be fun and exciting. Now, all I feel is anxiety as I have to find a place or use for whatever is given me/us. Even food has to be eaten, sent somewhere else, or thrown away. I wish my family would listen and believe me when I say "I don't want or need anything."
I'm a high school student, so I still live with my parents, and this Christmas was the first holiday season in two separate households since my parents are now separated. It was really difficult waking up at one parent's house and not seeing the other until the afternoon. It didn't feel like Christmas. All the basic ideas were there, at both houses we had a tree, presents, a fireplace going, Christmas music, and any Christmas-y things you can think of, but it didn't feel any different from a normal December day. I used to veiw Christmas and the holiday season as a time for happiness and everyone coming together in spite of all the problems in the world, but having it be separated like that made it feel like the opposite. Nobody came together in spite of their differences, we weren't all together, we didn't do a lot of old traditions because they were too sad and somber. Christmas used to be one of my favorite holidays and I would start counting down to it the day after, but now, I don't think I could ever bring myself to love the holiday season again.
When we were kids we were in a church that didn’t believe in Christmas- that it was pagan and sinful. I believed it and never felt I was being cheated not having Christmas like other kids. Then I became an atheist and didn’t want anything to do with Christian anything - including Christmas. Then I became a mother and wanted my kid to have the whole Santa thing. Went all out to make sure she got the magic (not a ton of gifts, but lots of traditional activities), then the marriage ended and my almost grown child went to live with her father and I am back where I started with no Christmas.
Since I've been an adult, I've found Christmas depressing because it means a new year will be coming and another frickin' birthday (mine is in January). As a matter of fact, I haven't enjoyed Christmas since 1969 when my older brother stole all the money and spent it on his friends, then was afraid to come home and my aunt had to try and buy us presents!😟
Like almost everyone else here, I used to love Christmas, but nowadays everyone who made it wonderful is either dead or way across the country. There's just three of us here in the new house and my wife finally told me, after 44 years, that we could finally have a tree. She meant well, but who needs it after all that time without?
I content myself with looking forward to digitizing my many slides of Christmas past.
It’s not about getting presents anymore but it’s more important to spend time with my loved ones. Life is too short.
We were only ever allowed to sing christmas songs and church hymns. All year. My granny believed driving with music on was a distraction, listening to the radio in the house was forbidden, as well as playing cards of any type in the house (we could play those on the porch just no INSIDE the house. Something about sin in the devils house.. I dont know, granny was old, old school fundamental) so instead we sang. All day. Every chore, every task. it was the only way to entertain ourselves. I can't stand Christmas music. You can only remake Rudolf so many ways..
I have been gay since the first grade, I had a crush on my best friend. I came out to my family 7 years later, Including my dads super mormon side....It hasnt been the same since.
These posts made me think of my own christmas. We didn't celebrate christmas when I was a kid, but I have got to love it. In my family we decides every year how much (or rather how little) the gifts may cost. That is for three reasons. One is, that some of us have very little money to spend. The other is, that it is so much more fun to try and think of a gift, that is within the price limits. The third is, that recieving a gift, that is fun or nice or both AND knowing that the donor has not been financially hurt by getting it, is so nice. It is fun and very cosy.
Around noon on 25th of December and already was thinking "Well, that's it for another year". The tree didn't go up until about 17:00 Christmas eve as my partner popped around the corner to the store so I got the tree out and decorated in about 10 minutes. They were surprised and a little tearful when they came back home (maybe I did a c**p job) Now it is (as I type this 08:00 27th December and we are both feeling we've had enough of Christmas. We think we are bored with it all because for the past several weeks the festive season has been rammed down our throats in the stores we've been in and all the adverts on TV. Then there is all the adverts showing that you have to be with friends and family, nothing about saying you can have a good time alone or with your SO but you HAVE to be having big parties and celebrations.
These posts made me think of my own christmas. We didn't celebrate christmas when I was a kid, but I have got to love it. In my family we decides every year how much (or rather how little) the gifts may cost. That is for three reasons. One is, that some of us have very little money to spend. The other is, that it is so much more fun to try and think of a gift, that is within the price limits. The third is, that recieving a gift, that is fun or nice or both AND knowing that the donor has not been financially hurt by getting it, is so nice. It is fun and very cosy.
Around noon on 25th of December and already was thinking "Well, that's it for another year". The tree didn't go up until about 17:00 Christmas eve as my partner popped around the corner to the store so I got the tree out and decorated in about 10 minutes. They were surprised and a little tearful when they came back home (maybe I did a c**p job) Now it is (as I type this 08:00 27th December and we are both feeling we've had enough of Christmas. We think we are bored with it all because for the past several weeks the festive season has been rammed down our throats in the stores we've been in and all the adverts on TV. Then there is all the adverts showing that you have to be with friends and family, nothing about saying you can have a good time alone or with your SO but you HAVE to be having big parties and celebrations.
