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Hey Pandas, Does Anyone Want To Have A Serious Conversation About Something That’s Bothering You?
Absolutely no judging here. If you really want, you can contact me on snapchat just let me know. I just wanna help someone.
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My parents found out about my atheism and my gayness (is that a word) and now I’m not aloud to talk to any of my friends. It’s complicated
Gayness is definitely a word, and I'm really sorry, that sucks and your parents sound like s**t. I hope you end up okay
I always feel like someone's behind me, going to strangle me or worse. Its to the point where if some accidentally scares me, purposely does so, or even if no one is there, i have had such bad panic attacks ive tried to off myself in the past, no longer at that point anymore but its still really bad.
2, i had one of my favorite animals dir from an unknown sickness a few days ago, and people are just making jokes about it where im at the point of tears just typing this.
I'm feeling so frustrated and angry. I deserve it though. For a little background, I'm a drug addict. I have been clean for a while now. Prior to that, I have done some awful things that have hurt the people I care about. My boyfriend specifically. Our financial situation became dire because most of the money I made went to either drugs, or bulls**t purchases while on drugs. He is in pain management for 'degenerative disc disease' which is a condition of the discs between vertebrae with loss of cushioning, fragmentation and herniation. Most people's spinal disc's show signs of wear as they age, but in my boyfriends case it started early, in his late twenties. There's nothing to be done really but to manage the pain, which is intense. I'm ashamed of this, but I have stolen his meds on a few occasions. He eventually got a safe. I've gotten help, I've made amends, and have been clean for a long time. My boyfriend had every right, and should have left me, but he didn't. He said that he 'loved me and knew I was a good person'. It took a while to build trust again, but we did. At least I thought.
A few days ago, my boyfriend said he was missing some meds. Apparently he put a couple of pills on top of his safe, which is in the other bedroom. He asked me if I saw them. I said no. A few hours later he asked me if I took them. I told him that I hadn't. He questioned me 'well where did they go?!' I told him 'I don't know'. I honestly didn't. I asked him if he checked the floor because maybe he knocked them down or the cat did. He yelled at me that he 'wouldn't leave his pills out if the cat was there!' I told him again I don't know where they are and I didn't take them. He said he doesn't believe me. I have lied to him alot in the past, and have stolen from him, so I can't blame him for his mistrust. On the other hand, I have been clean for almost 2 years. We've been together for 11 years, 4 of them I was using drugs heavily. He has been sleeping in the other bedroom for 2 days. I've tried talking to him but he said he won't talk to me until I admit I did it. I still feel guilty for the things I've done, but can I convince someone who've you've lied to and stolen from that you're innocent? I really thought we were past this. I've been trying so hard to make my life, our lives better. A part of me is thinking 'why bother?' and just get f**ked up. But I don't want to be that person again. Even if that's how he see's me.
I think this is a little all over the place so sorry. I just don't know what to do our how to feel. I already feel like a piece of s**t so I don't need anyone telling me I am.
You aren't a piece of s**t. My mom is an alcoholic, and I've been on the end your BF is in similar situations. The truth is, he's probably terrified. My mom is doing a lot better and has been [mostly] clean for a couple of years. I really believe she is doing well, but every time something seems off, I can't help but wonder. I can't speak for your BF, but for me, I just get scared of losing what has been rebuilt. There isn't anything you can do besides being honest, calm and sincere. You owe it to yourself to claim your progress--sober 2 years is a BIG deal. You DIDN'T take them. Own the hell out of that. You can't make him believe you. That will only come with time, and seeing repeatedly that you are sober when you say you are. You are doing the right things.
Therapy being seen as a luxury service. It should not be. It should be 100% covered by insurance as preventative treatment and covered by the government. So many need it and "can't afford it" including the therapists themselves. Totally messed up
Too many "bothered" people out there. Let's have serious conversation about not taking ourselves so seriously.
This is actually a great point. We shouldn't ever take ourselves too seriously. Otherwise we'll miss the absurdity of it all.
Yeah, and it's about this site specifically. It's gone to c**p pretty fast. Now all you see are posts about how bad america is, listicles about how much you hate other peoples choices that don't affect you in the slightest, or AITA posts (not even the good ones either). On top of this, trolls and spambots run rampant. I also really hate the AI "art" posts. It's like BP doesn't even listen to the people keeping this site afloat.
1) I probably have mental issues, but I don't think my parents care enough to actually do anything about it.
2) Sometimes I wish I could run away, leave society behind. But where would I go?
3) I hate noise and people. I try not to have noticable reactions, but I freak out around people. Even those I know well. Am I broken? I have no idea
I 100% relate to this. Trust me and don't run. You're normal. Find therapy if you're comfortable with it.
I used to live in russia- i think there’s a lot said there, already lol
i’m afraid about posting some things that i think, or saying some things aloud just in case someone who might betray me overhears, and i get sent back there. I’m also a musician, and russia has a history of censoring art :’)
anyway, Благодарю вас for listening :) i love you all 💕
For what it's worth pUtin is doing a kiCK a*s job as President of rUssia. hopefully he withsTands the crIticism from the west. there are No secret meanings IN THis mEssAge if you drop the lowercaSe letterS
Something about the entire BP site. I don’t have that much opinion with the AI art posts. Sometimes they’re actually really beautiful and interesting, even if I have to agree that ‘AI is stealing the jobs of real artists’ and all the reasons people hate AI art, but it really annoys me that people downvote the comments that say they actually liked it. They aren’t being offensive or hateful. If you hate the AI post, you might as well as downvote the post, not comments. Even if I understand why people are saying ‘if I see another AI art post I’m going to puke’ but good grief there isn’t any basis for the meanness towards people who might disagree with you and say the post was likable. I hate anyone who downvotes comments they disagree with, or if they’re being ignorant. I know it doesn’t get people banned anymore, but chill off, the downvotes are for hate and spam bots. Sarah Elizabeth and other spam accounts lol. Then there’s the downvote fairies following me and other people around, downvoting literally every single damn comment. Get a life, but at least it was interesting that someone could do it once a week with consistency.
But the AITA posts here suck most of the time. We need more animal pics and funny stuff.
1) One thing that’s bothering me is how I’m paranoid about fire. I’ve never experienced fire related trauma but it affects me like crazy. I can’t trust some of the electronics in my house in case they blow up. It’s gotten to the point where I plotted out ways to escape from every room in my house.
2) I have this weird feeling whenever I close my room door that someone (or something) is behind me and waiting to stab me when I turn around.
3) I’ve been feeling really angry over the past few days and have gotten into fights with almost everyone and I can’t control myself anymore.
4) I just feel that nobody truly likes me anymore in my real life. You pandas can just say that you already like me but it’s just not going to make a difference, you only like the one side of myself that I show here.
Sorry that this has turned into a rant, these are just some of the things that have been really bothering and I want some advice on how to deal with it on my own
Stardust my friend, I'm not sure what mental health services you have access to in India, but you have an anxiety disorder. There are effective treatments for this, both through medication and therapy. I have similar issues resulting from PTSD.
Is anything bothering you that want to talk about?
How to tell lesbian friend that I’m straight without hurting her feelings
Eating disorders are real, and they can kill. I unfortunately suffer from an eating disorder Anorexia, and it’s getting worse, and people tell me I look like I lost weight, and those comments made me realize that people think I’m fat and disgusting, and I need to lose weight to be more attractive.
You don't need to lose weight! No one cares about their opinions they're wrong. Even if u feel u are overweight, that doesn't make you less of a person or anything and you can be just as attractive as anyone else
I'm frustrated with my parents (divorced). On my dad's, he never spends time with me and rarely ever has food in the house, but then every once in a while we'll watch a movie and I start to think things are better, and then they aren't. Ruthless cycle. For Mom, she just yells a lot. She has anger issues and extreme anxiety. She's also the biggest hypocrite ever. But sometimes she's nice. They both just make me so mad and they're not that great of parents.
Parents can sometimes allow their own personal issues to affect the lives of their children. Hopefully they will realize what s**t they're putting you through before it's too late. Talk to a counselor at school if you don't already see a therapist. They can help you build some coping skills. Maybe even intervene with your parents
I've been having anxiety attacks a lot more recently, almost every day. My parents have triggered a few of them but most actually stem from my band class. Honestly, my band class is probably the main reason my mental health is so s****y. It just feels like most people in it hate me specifically, and it's really scary to be in there. Whenever I mess up or do something someone doesn't like, even if others were doing it before me/more often, they'll go after me with a vengeance. I get yelled at by my section for just trying to be helpful once every day or two (ex; I was counting rests for the sixth graders and raised my hand up so they could see at the last few measures, and three people started screaming about how I'm being obvious and unprofessional and I shouldn't do it. I'm literally one of like four or five people who do it regularly, including the section leader, who was the one who started doing it earlier this year when sixth graders had trouble counting rest measures). There's also quite a few transphobes/homophobes who will occasionally decide to be a problem (one kid told me that I should kill myself cause I'm queer and another said that I was a pervert for using the men's bathroom/ also called me a school shooter cause I'm trans, in addition to regularly using slurs). I love band but i already get suicidal and I'm scared jts going to push me over the edge. I can't leave because everything else is full and my parents would freak out, but I don't know how I'm gonna make it through the last few months of school.
You need to reach out to the school right away. This behavior is f****d up. My middle child was getting bullied when they came out as non-binary, and our school didn't let that s**t slide. I'm grateful to them, but they also have a responsibility to keep you safe while you're there. That said, if band is toxic for you, you should leave. If you want to keep playing, there are lots of other options. Join a band with friends. Set up private tutoring. Swap band for a study hall. If your parents don't already know you're getting bullied, please tell them, they can help. They will understand you dropping a class where you're getting tortured. Also, tell ME where you go to school so I can punch some people. Dumb a*s scum goblins. Please please please seek alternatives before considering self harm. Begging you here, and I promise you life is SO much better than high school.
today i had to do the hardest thing ever. my sweet 4 year old dog has crossed the rainbow bridge. it's only been about 3 hours but it feels like forever. and i have to spend forever without her. she looked so peaceful and i stayed with her the whole time, even for an hour after she was gone. now i'm back at home to a house with no dog. her toys won't be chewed, her leash and collar will stay unused, and her cage will be empty. there won't be any chewing sounds or scratching at the door or barking in the backyard or the sound of her nails clicking on the floor. there's not going to be the sound of her sighing dramatically or sniffing around or running around in the backyard. i thought we had so much more time left with her. it would have been 3 years since we got her this april 23rd. there were so many last times i wasn't ready for. last walk, last time in the car, last night at home, last time playing with a toy, last treat, last time in the cage, last time going to sleep. i know she's free now and that we're going to see her again someday. i know she won't leave us and that we won't ever forget her. she got us through covid, she got me through the worst times of my life up until now. there's just this empty hole in my heart now that knows she's never going to lick my face again, she'll never crawl into my lap or jump up on me when she's excited to see me. she can never be replaced. i just don't want to wake up tomorrow and remember it wasn't a dream, that my sweet baby dog is gone forever. it's just really hard and i've been crying all day and i can't handle this feeling. it hurts so bad. in her final moments we all hugged her, she got a whole bag of treats in the span of 12 hours, she got pizza and risotto and a peanut butter cracker. she got to play with us and she got to go on a few nice long walks. she was so loved and i know we gave her the best life possible. she loved all of us equally. she had such a big goofy personality. she was so dramatic and such a big sweet baby, though she acted tough at times. mia, we're never going to forget you sweet baby. that last goodbye was not forever. you're in our hearts and we won't be apart forever. your soul is with us though your body isn't. i know you're watching over us. i can't wait to meet you again at the rainbow bridge.
I’m so, so, so, so sorry. We had to put down our 14 year old baby down spring of lockdown, she had an inoperable malignant bladder tumor. We’d had her since before I was born. She was so smart and sweet and patient. I kept thinking she would be sitting next to the door in her favorite spot but she wasn’t, and then I remembered. I’m really sorry, that’s the worst thing, and so young.
My dad is like your total stereotypical extrovert and I was social, just not to his extreme. When I was a teenager I started pretending to be more like him. I also tried to be really bubbly and fun and smiley ALL THE TIME!!! And now I feel like I can’t take off the mask.
I have constructed a fake ‘perfect’ personality and now the mask is stuck. It’s drilled into my face. I know if I never made it I’d have no mental illnesses, no everlasting grudge against my father, no fear of speaking out or being imperfect. But now I have to pretend I don’t have a temper, that I don’t have issues with the American economy, like I’m FINE when really? I’m not. I get angry-a lot. Personally, I think the economy is near broken beyond repair. And really I am NOT FINE. I have anxiety and depression and PTSD (from a lot of things related to my father) and very severe OCD and (un-prescribed) ADHD and I wouldn’t have ANY of these if I hadn’t made the mask. It’s simple to say that that was the worst decision I’ve ever made.
No one chooses to be homeless and people who have never been homeless have no idea how difficult and life draining depressing it is.
This is a long one but even anonymously, I want people to know my story. Due to an RV accident I went from having my own home to being homeless. Now I'm physically disabled, I can't work (yet), and homeless shelters and agencies don't like to take physically disabled homeless people. They tell physically disabled people they are not ADA accessible, they don't take physically disabled people or they just say we don't qualify.
I've had three different agencies promise they were going to help me - They didn't.
First shelter made all kinds of promises. Went to their shelter and the housing manager made inappropriate comments, really condescending, made fun of previous residents and shamed me when I didn't join in on the "fun". Manager told me I couldn't do things her favorites could. Told me I wasn't allowed to volunteer or do my physical therapy at the shelter (so hopefully one day I could go back to work). I left after the case manager who made all the promises said "yeah. I know she can be that way. We've had other people leave because of her. She does the same to me too."
The second place I went to was after my case manager kept " encouraging" / pushing me to go into a crisis center shelter saying they would help me get me into a transitional shelter. I was there one day and it was horrific. I didn't feel safe and the food was disgusting - worse than what Salvation Army feeds their homeless - I volunteer there once.
When I left that place, my case manager and a counselor told me that I either commit myself to a mental hospital, go to another crisis center and check myself in, allow them to bus me to another city or I leave the program. I left the program.
Due to a welfare worker who messed up my case and I contacted the highest possible person I could, that person got me into the third / a temporary shelter program who again promised me help, some kind of transitional shelter that takes physically disabled people. 4 weeks and the only place they've referred me to was a mental crisis clinic that doesn't take people for their shelter which is done in a different city and county over 100 miles away.
After the accident, I bought a car before all the medical debt ruined my credit, believing I could pay off a couple months payments with my savings and then let it slide and within 5 months of buying the car I could get into a transitional homeless shelter and on my way back to putting my life back together. I bought the car just so I could sleep in it. I'm on month five and haven't been able to get into a homeless transitional shelter. The general relief welfare I've been saving up now has to pay for one more month just so I can have some place to sleep for at least one, hopefully two months before they track it and repossess it. If I don't get SSI disability by then, I'm going to be sleeping outside in a tent and I know I won't survive. My body is too broken.
I've made hundreds of calls to homeless agencies and shelters in four counties and in the neighboring state in their metropolitan area and it's all the same. I've sent emails to the governor and senators in different cities begging for help - never heard back.
So if this last agency doesn't keep their promise, and I really don't expect them to, I'm going to have to buy a tent. So when that happens my life hourglass is going to be flipped and I know my life will end due to the elements or my medical problems or because I'm in a major metropolitan area with a lot of crime for violence against the homeless, especially women.
Almost as agencies don't actually help people get housed. They get people off the streets so they can continue to get the grant money from the government and get donations so they get a paycheck.
I’m questioning my gender identity and sexuality, I’ve identified as ace and gender-fluid but I think I might be just a masculine cis girl and I’m romantically but not really sexually attracted to women.
Also I had a good conversation with a trans friend of mine, who really made me think. There are a lot of people at my school that are identify as trans, somewhat questionably, and also the whole xenogender thing. My philosophy has always been, “if it’s not harming anyone then you do you,” but he brought up a really good point. He says it’s similar to people pretending to be disabled or have mental health struggles when they don’t, and it’s harmful to the actual community. He’s been labeled transphobic for saying that you need to have some dysphoria/disassociation to actually be trans and left his GSA because of that. And now that I’ve thought about it I see his point, so I want an outside opinion.
Sorry it’s kinda long just have a lot on my mind :/
I do understand what your friend is getting at, but he also should understand, being a trans guy himself, that sexuality and gender expression are fluid things, and nothing is set into stone. Where do you draw the line with regards to someone "pretending"? If a trans man has long hair, is he "faking" it? If a cis woman who identifies as bi is involved with a man, is she straight for the time being? If a trans woman wears pants is she "detransitioning"? I think we get to identify who we are, and I don't think anyone else gets to tell us that. Im pretty old and have experienced this in different ways in social groups for decades. I've been thinking about this dynamic forever- since back in the 90s when I knew I was bi but dated a man...I felt not gay enough. There's always someone who wants to put you into a neat box, when people are messy. Its unfair to question someone else's statement of who they are because they don't meet your expectations of how they should be. Just my $.02
Trying to prove my (ex) spouse was (and still is) psychologically abusive to me and our children (ignoring us, withholding the papers and info I needed for my visa, controlling money, being passive-aggressive) in his home country where I (and our children) barely speak the language, and he gaslights me to the social workers.
I've told the exact same story of our life since moving to his homeland to the children's teachers, school psychologists, social workers, the police, more social workers (all of which only became involved because our children were doing so poorly in school-assimilating and making friends). His family (his father and uncle, as he's an only child of divorced parents) got "bored" with me being depressed because I wanted my resident visa but could not get access to the papers I needed that my husband wouldn't give me.
In the 1st 5 years of us moving to his homeland (France), my life revolved around taking care of his ailing parents (divorced, so separate homes, separate towns) and our children to school, home for lunch (we couldn't afford cantine) back to school and pick up at the end of the day. I was driving illegally as I didn't have a French permis de conduire (still dont), and my temporary visa kept expiring, despite my begging my husband to keep it current.
When immigration contacted me by poste and said I needed to submit certain documents immediately or my dossier would be closed, I confronted his father and uncle with the letter and told this that this is one reason why I am always depressed. It embarrassed my husband and he immediately printed off the papers and handed them to me angrily in front of his family.
A month later, my visa for 2 years was approved, but I needed the taux fiscal to pay for my visa. I asked my husband for it, and he got angry and beat the c**p out of me before leaving the house and taking our only atm card.
I didn't know how to call the police, so I contacted the social workers who were assigned to our children to report this (oh, and they didn't speak much English and insisted I spoke French perfectly - yeah, using Google translate).
They contacted him and said he made a complaint against me to the police, but rescinded it.
Meanwhile, I'm covered in bruises, in shock, desperately want to speak to an anglophone, and can't get one. - I had been seeing an anglophone counselor for anxiety for 2 years at this point, but she didn't seem to care. (I dropped her soon after as she wasn't helping me with my anxiety only contributing to it, and charging me).
When I went to open a bank account in my name only, I learned that he had taken all of the money in our joint account (€166,000).
I had €40 in my wallet.
I didn't have any friends as when you can't go out and do stuff as your life revolves around taking care of your husbands family and your kids all the time, and your visa is expired, you're driving illegally, and you've been told there's only enough money for rent and food (we had no TV), it's difficult for others to see you as a person they want to hang around. I met anglophones who kept telling me to get my papers and go to the préfecture for my carte de séjour , but none would tell me how to get these papers from my husband.
My husband had a few friends who told me they were upset by how he was treating me and our children, but he cut them out of our life, and once we separated, they chose not to keep communicating (French, not English) with me. My American family and friends couldn't relate to me as they weren't immigrants, and in order to talk with them, I'd have to be awake well after midnight for the time difference.
It's been a 3 years now and I'm struggling with depression, our kids still suffer, France has been decent with helping me- I couldn't get aide for re-education until I got my 10 year titre de résidence (which I acquired 6 months ago) , which only took me 6 weeks (!) once I had access to the papers required.
I am angry. I feel marginalized.
OP here- France has anti-conjugal violence laws, including psychological violence, but I can't find the lawyer who accepts "aide jurisdictionelle" (lawyers paid by the state) who see me as being a victim. The one lawyer I've had during our divorce (he initiated the divorce) hasn't represented me very well, and even one social worker who read the last document from the court was shocked at how poorly I was represented. I have documentation from police and sspe about our situation from my testimonies on 3 separate interviews, but it's been ignored. I'm still in the house we were renting, but can't afford the rent and will be evicted in June, I get some aide for food, electricity, water, but the house is heated by fuel and I can't afford that, so we've had no heat or hot water for the last 2 months. The court decided to reduce the aide my husband pays to me, but this month he hasn't paid it yet. The court sent me a letter showing he isn't acknowledging their certified letters.
I was still typing then it seems I've reached my limit. Why can others write longer answers????
I could literally write only that one sentense then I've reached my limit. How do other people have such long paragraphs then? Anyway, what I wanted to say is that I've spent a lot of time (months) and all my extra money on writing a children's book. It was inspired by my dog who is a great help to me in regards to sadness, depression, anxiety and whatever else. So it is quite special to me. But I haven't sold even one copy yet and I don't want to tell my family and friends about it, so I can't start there, which is where one usually would. I am also not on social media. So I'll have to rely solely on the rest of the world to show some interest in it, without advertising it as I don't have any more money to spend on it. I've put in so much effort and now it feels so "fruitless".
I have a really great guy who treats me like a queen. He asked me, "You know I love you, right?" I blurted out I don't know. I've heard it all before and been scorned by everyone who has claimed the same, right down to my parents. I don't know what love is and if someone tells me they do, I really don't believe them. I tell him I love him, I want to be with him, but I don't necessarily believe my own words, indicating I don't believe in love. I know I have trust issues, in that I trust nobody. Everyone so far has had ulterior motives. Time is the only true test. Is it fair for me to be with anyone, or should I navigate the world on my own?
First, are you in therapy? If not, you should be. I personally think everyone should be, but clearly you have relationship trauma. I am not sure what you mean by ulterior motives, but ulterior doesn't have to mean bad. For instance, I'm writing this in an attempt to process my own feelings about my marriage, but that does not mean I'm trying to hurt or upset you. But relationships are really hard. Much harder than they seem in movies. Ultimately though, don't get all hung up on this word love. There are a million different kinds of love. Does your partner make you feel safe or anxious? Do they lift you up, or pull you down? Do they bring out your worst self, or do they let you be yourself? That's what matters. It's up to them to decide if the same is true for them.
Hahhaaaahaaa both my parents are convinced I’m a lesbian although I have told them multiple times that I’m straight….that’s annoying me a bit
Lmao mine too… it’s extra annoying because they might be right
(Sorry, this is my second one)
My dad treats me like a housemaid. I am his smartest child (proven by multiple IQ tests, I’ve scored at least 10 over both my siblings and I skipped a grade), but I am also the middle child.
I resent him so much that I‘ve begun to squirm when he even brushes against me, like I’m repulsed. This is in no way voluntary and entirely subconscious, but it happens.
I have germophobia (spelling???), but my brain has literally begun to see him as a germ- a ‘bad thing’, so much that it’s trying to rid itself of his touch, he’s a germ in a small part of my brain now.
So yeah, I hate my father so much my germophobia has become a father-phobia.
Thanks for reading
I’m scared to type this, but I’m so tired of talking to my dad. Enjoying spring break? He texts to lecture me about Christianity. He’s always saying he’s so proud of me, but he doesn’t care the slightest bit about me as a person. The only way he would ever listen to anything I say is if I got one of his friends to post it on facebook claiming they thought of it. I will literally say something to him and ten minutes later he’s forgotten. He doesn’t have memory loss or anything, just couldn’t care less about anything I say. He goes around telling everyone he’s so proud of me and sure, he is. Proud, but still won’t respect me as a human being. I have tried to bring it up, but he brushes me off and never listens. I want to scream, but he would just tell me to “Lower your voice” and he is CONSTANTLY CRITICIZING MY GRAMMAR. I miss playing catch and helping make dinner and thinking I had the best dad in the world. I can’t listen to him talk without wanting to scream, because all he cares about is the stupid stock market. (Sorry for the rant, I had to let it out.)
I'm a stay at home uneducated mom trapped in marriage to a good man that has no real emotional intelligence. I'm so alone and I hate the choices I've made. I hate that I'm nothing without him($) I hate that I'm only worthy if I make good money, f u c able, and never age. Also fear, fear is a real a$$ hole
I have a crush on my bff, and she knows, idk what to do because she hasn’t told me if she likes me back (I’m a girl)
Second answer, I have adhd and my teachers say I’m lying and blaming me for pretending that I have it, same problem with my grandparents
RafCo, why do I not have the option to reply to your comment? Anyway, thank you for your encouraging words, and the tip for marketing here on Bored Panda! I will definitely do that now!
RafCo, why do I not have the option to reply to your comment? Anyway, thank you for your encouraging words, and the tip for marketing here on Bored Panda! I will definitely do that now!
