Man Digs A Hole Of Lies While Whining About Fiancée’s Wedding Dress Online, She Leaves Him
There are no two ways about it, a “classic” wedding these days is going to cost a pretty penny. While opinions may differ, many people do want to commemorate their special day and are quite happy to spend whatever is necessary. However, there are always people who, if you will pardon the pun, want to have their wedding cake and eat it too.
A stingy groom demanded his fiancee get a cheaper dress when she showed him the one she wanted. Despite it coming out of her pocket, he demanded that she get a bottom-of-the-barrel cheap dress instead as he believed that their finances would be shared soon anyway.
Organizing a wedding is a good test of how a marriage might work
Image credits: Mint_Images (not the actual photo)
But one man decided that he was entitled to make demands over his fiancee’s choice of dress
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
Image source: josh8449
Weddings are complicated and often stressful even when in a healthy relationship
Image credits: Omar Ramadan (not the actual photo)
Organizing a wedding is a minefield even before one gets to the costs. Who is invited, what is the theme, what should the ceremony look like and other questions will often require honest communication and compromise. Both of these skills are vital for any relationship to succeed, but we all know that there are many couples who simply are not going to make it. Simply put, if both people do not know how to accommodate each other’s needs and manage their own misplaced entitlement, the relationship and marriage will probably fail.
And this is before one even considers the costs, which are not exactly easy to ignore. The average wedding in the United States will still set a happy couple back almost forty thousand dollars. Of course, the wedding industry is massive, so the actual events can range from a few people in a courtroom to a destination event taking place over multiple days. Overall, Americans spend over 72 billion dollars a year on getting married, putting it on par with massive industries like video games.
OP’s story is simply a smaller-scale version of the drama that often unfolds when one party has different expectations about some part of the wedding. It is true that sometimes costs do spiral out of control and the couple needs to decide what should be cut. However, OP makes two critical errors. One, the dress he offers is insultingly cheap, particularly when they have the money and she is willing to do it all from her own pocket. Two, he makes a very entitled comment, that since they are almost married anyway, her money is basically shared now. One doesn’t have to be a genius to imagine all the other leaps in logic this man may have already made in this relationship.
Knowing how and when to compromise is integral for a long-lasting partnership
Image credits: August de Richelieu (not the actual photo)
This mismatch of expectations, which is already giving too much credit for what seems to be a case of groom entitlement, has been shown to be a toxic combination. Psychologists have found that couples that place unrealistic expectations on a wedding are more likely to have the marriage fail later down the line. Normally, this expresses itself when the scale is simply too large and bombastic, but a frugal person may also have unrealistic expectations about how much they can save. OP’s choice to save a few hundred dollars over his bride-to-be’s wishes is quite telling.
Without a doubt, this couple would have to go through disagreements about money in the future. OP’s solution is to immediately resort to vetos, a strategy that is manipulative and short-sighted even in the cut-throat world of business. In a relationship, it’s just downright cruel. Even worse, instead of hearing her out, OP began calling her names and comparing the old tuxedo he would use to a dress from Wish. This was over a few hundred dollars, which isn’t that small of a sum, but nowhere close to the money a couple would be expected to manage in the future.
The fact that he believes that he is entitled to make calls about her appearance and her bank account before the vows have even been read is quite telling. Even further, he seems to sincerely believe that he is in the right, as he turned to the internet for validation, only to have it blow up in his face (see below). When presenting one side of a story to the internet, it’s pretty easy to skip details and sugarcoat certain parts. While we can applaud his honesty, it’s a sign of his entitlement that he no doubt thought he would be proclaimed as ultimately in the right. As readers can find below, that did not happen at all.
Most readers thought he was out of line and attempted to share some advice
Later, a user who claimed to be the fiancee shared her side of the story
Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
Image source: Anemoni
OP gave a few more details about the fiancee leaving in a now-deleted post in r/dating advice
As soon as I realized there’s a 20 year age gap and seeing she’s less than 25 I see nothing but red flags. He’s a man child who wanted a “high value woman” who he can easily manipulate. The fact she’s 20 years younger and makes more money than him is another red flag. Red flags everywhere. I hope she makes the wise decision to leave him. He just wants someone he can control
Absolutely and his argument that when they marry it will be "their" money without letting anyone know that she is the primary breadwinner? Top that with his lie about them each contributing 10,000 to the wedding and her seeing it and having to correct his lie because he was only asked to contribute 5,000. He knows damned well what he is, he would not lie if he thought it wasn't also then gonna be obvious to everyone else too.
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"I found an app called Wish..." I assure OP, Wish found you.
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Yeesh. My wife and I spent $3,000 on our wedding in 2017, very very cheap for weddings for sure. Her dress was still $600 of that. Even the most frugal of the frugal understand that dresses are expensive and you're going to pay for it.
As soon as I realized there’s a 20 year age gap and seeing she’s less than 25 I see nothing but red flags. He’s a man child who wanted a “high value woman” who he can easily manipulate. The fact she’s 20 years younger and makes more money than him is another red flag. Red flags everywhere. I hope she makes the wise decision to leave him. He just wants someone he can control
Absolutely and his argument that when they marry it will be "their" money without letting anyone know that she is the primary breadwinner? Top that with his lie about them each contributing 10,000 to the wedding and her seeing it and having to correct his lie because he was only asked to contribute 5,000. He knows damned well what he is, he would not lie if he thought it wasn't also then gonna be obvious to everyone else too.
Load More Replies... "I found an app called Wish..." I assure OP, Wish found you.
Load More Replies... Yeesh. My wife and I spent $3,000 on our wedding in 2017, very very cheap for weddings for sure. Her dress was still $600 of that. Even the most frugal of the frugal understand that dresses are expensive and you're going to pay for it.
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