“Everyone Went Dead Silent”: Family Dinner Ends In Tears After Woman Announces 7th Pregnancy
Interview
Becoming an aunt, uncle or grandparent can be incredibly exciting for anyone. Suddenly, there’s a new little family member for you to spoil, play with and guide as they navigate the world. And taking on the role of “fun aunt” or grandparent is great because it typically comes with much less responsibility than being a parent. Yet in some cases, it still somehow becomes a full-time job.
Below, you’ll find a story that a teen recently shared on the “Am I the [Jerk]?” subreddit detailing why she blew up at her sister after she announced some news to the whole family.
Many of us celebrate upon hearing the news that our family is expanding
Image credits: Craig Adderley (not the actual photo)
But after finding out that her sister has another child on the way, this teen couldn’t keep her thoughts to herself
Image credits: Askar Abayev (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Upper-Grocery3568
Later, the teen responded to readers and shared a few more details
“She’s always been family oriented, she said her dream was to have a big family”
We reached out to the teen who shared this post, Reddit user Upper-Grocery3568, to hear if she had any updates on the situation, and she was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda. She shared that her sister did return shortly after this, but she proceeded to give them all the silent treatment. “She’s just been watching TV and rubbing her stomach every time we eat dinner together,” the OP shared.
We were also curious about why the sister has decided to have so many children. “She’s always been family oriented, she said her dream was to have a big family,” her sister explained. “But we didn’t know she’d start this early. It also may be because she’s always getting special treatment while pregnant.” And in response to the comments on her post, the OP added that she was relieved to hear she hadn’t done anything wrong. “I knew deep down I wasn’t the AH,” she said.
It’s not uncommon for grandparents to help raise children
While the most common family dynamic may be a mother and a father raising their children together, nowadays, there are a million different ways to be a family. According to Today’s Caregiver, it’s estimated that 10% of households in Ohio that have children in them have grandparents as the primary caregivers of the kids. And in 2011, the Pew Research Center found that 7.7 million American kids lived in the same household as at least one grandparent.
It can be great to have the extra help that Grandma and Grandpa can provide, and being in close proximity can strengthen the bond between many grandparents and grandchildren. But just because they’re around doesn’t mean the responsibilities of raising a child should be shirked at all by their actual parents. And there’s no question that raising children is a massive responsibility and financial burden.
Investopedia reports that a middle-class family with two kids will now spend about $310,605 on each child between the time that they’re born until they’re 17 years old. And apparently, the largest financial burden when it comes to having kids is housing. American families with kids spend an average of 32% of their incomes on housing, which can get particularly tricky the more children a couple has.
Having kids is a massive financial burden on parents
Food is also a huge expense parents have to take on, spending approximately 27% of their incomes on keeping their families fed. After that, childcare comes in at about 12-29% of parents’ incomes, and then transportation, healthcare and insurance, clothing, extracurricular activities, sports and hobbies, school fees for activities and family trips or vacations take up a significant portion of parents’ incomes.
Because of how time and cost-consuming kids are, it’s important that parents know what they’re getting themselves into when they decide to start a family. As of 2018, 4 in 10 Americans believed that the ideal family size was to have three or more children. Meanwhile, many in Europe agree that having two kids is just enough.
But having two kids is very different from having seven, so according to Sarah Bradley at Verywell Family, there are distinct ways in which having five or more kiddos will affect your parenting. Bradley shares that expectations have to be lowered, and frugality must be embraced. Parents who have that many children have to get used to buying in bulk, buying second hand, repurposing items, using hand-me-downs and ensuring nothing ever goes to waste.
Parents need to understand what they’re getting themselves into when they decide to have children
Bradley also says outsourcing is a key aspect of having many kids. This can include delegating responsibilities to older siblings, asking grandparents or other relatives to help out and hiring cleaners or ordering groceries to be delivered. As the saying goes, it really does take a village.
But at the end of the day, it’s the parents’ responsibility to make sure that their children are safe, fed, happy and supported. It is a huge privilege to have help from family members or to be able to afford outside help, but bringing a child into the world should never be taken lightly. If this mom wants to have 7 children, that is her choice. But it’s important that she does take responsibility for all of them.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this teen was right to call out her sister? Or was she being too harsh? Feel free to share, and then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article discussing similar parenting issues, check out this article next.
Some readers assured the teen that her response was justified
Meanwhile, others thought that she, and some of her family members, should have handled the situation more maturely
"Not your circus, stay in your lane" and "YTA, none of your business" and "YTA, there is no 'we'" - except OP CLEARLY stated that she steps in to help with the kids when her mom is busy. So YES, it IS her circus. It IS her business. It IS "we", as OP AND her mom are taking care of the kids. Fück those dipshít comments and their commenters. Why isn't Laury's DAD helping with taking care of his spawn's spawn? Why isn't Laury's boyfriend (father of Karl) at LEAST helping with taking care of Karl? I was already pissed at Laury and her bf - and then I read that Laury got soooo sad that someone told her the harsh truth about having SIX KIDS by the age of 26 with a SEVENTH on the way, and her response AS AN ADULT AND MOTHER is to run away crying and ALLOW her bf to drive off with her, leaving her children behind. And yes, I AM also judging her on the fact that her current bf is the father of only ONE of her current kids (and the one that is currently in the oven).
I bet the people who called the OP TA are doing the same thing to their families (and their kids) that the sister is.
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NTA...not everyone is suited to be a parent, let alone a parent for a whole hockey team. And what really pisses me off are some of the comments saying that it's none of OP's business. It clearly is when it starts affecting her life and her mom's!
Exactly! I understand why OP and mom felt annoyed (Also my real name is Beck and I kinda feel bleh hearing that that isn’t.a good name according to OP 😅)
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For all if the peoowho have said that the OP is the AH and that it's no business of OP whether otnot Laury has another kjd....you need to go back and read the OP's post again. It is MOST CERTAINLY OP'sbusiness! OP a) gets stuck with babysitting over and over and over again!. And almost certainly never paid and probably never asked ahead of time. B) because grandma-dormat is spend ALL her time and energy on Laury's kids, OP doesn't have a functioning mother. Sorry...the OP is NTA!
There's also the financial aspect. OP is autistic. That may make it more difficult for her to find/keep a job. She may, as many disabled adults, need more financial support from her mum than the norm. Responsible parents of disabled kids do what they can to ensure their child's future security. Laury's clown-car uterus antics are draining resources OP may need in the future. OP cannot stop being disabled. Laury can certainly stop having babies she cannot take care of.
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Those saying "YTA none of your business" fail to grasp a simple truth. When the consequences of YOUR actions begin to impact ME, in any manner, big or small, it becomes MY business. Even in ideal circumstances having 7 kids is selfish and irresponsible, but when your entire "plan" is to hoist your SEVEN children at the age of TWENTY SIX by some undisclosed number of fathers onto your family with no regard for how it impacts them, you're trash. It's insane to me that being a parent is treated not only as a right, but a "blessing" it is not. It's a privilege, that clearly not everyone deserves.
Part of me would very much love to have a child. But I have AuDHD and CPTSD, and I know that I couldn't take care of one well. It makes me sad, but I'm being responsible and knowing my limitations.
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Should have called child protective services when she took off like that. Child abandonment. I'd make her life hell, since she doesn't mind making everyone else's life miserable. Cannot stand these breeders who dump their sex trophies on their families.
Unfortunately for OP, a call to child protective services would be pointless and fix nothing because OP's mother would just tell CPS that the kids weren't abandoned and that she was watching them. The situation OP is in exists because her mother has not held her sister responsible for anything, makes excuses for Laury's bad behavior, and has clearly never told her no. As long as the kids are safe and being taken care of by a responsible adult who is willing to do so, CPS won't intervene. Hopefully OP's autism will not impact her from moving out at 18, because this situation is outside of OP's control and not going to end any time soon.
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I judge anyone having so many kids. Even if they're physically and financially responsible for them. Having your own basketball team tells me you're either an attention seeker or a religious zealot. Which sometimes overlaps.
Or completely out of touch to the fact the planet is over populated and can't sustain all these beings much longer
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Some women love the attention and gifts that come with pregnancy and newborns, but none of what comes after. I suspect she's one of those. Selfish is definitely the right word for her.
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First of all, they are from different fathers, but OP destroyed the family?
All the people saying OP,is the AH are probably acting just as irresponsible as her dumb sister. Op is NYA and obviously the only one who is thinking clearly.
She didn't BLAME it on the autism. She literally just said that she can't tell whether she was an a-hole or not for saying what she said.
And then the YTA telling her not to blame it on her 'disability' smh
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"she is a great mom" as she leaves WITHOUT her children. What the ever loving fck?
It f****d, right. Cuz the AHs will never comprehend while the sane ones will have to deal with it.
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I would have been so tempted to turn to the boyfriend and say, "dude, do I need to get a banana and give a demonstration?"
When I saw this I immediately thought of my stepdaughter's friend, Sylvia, who just recently had baby #8 at 32 years old. Her first six live with their baby daddies since she cannot afford to take care of them.
Of course it's OP's business. For one, she's forced to help out with these kids. She's been parentified by her idiot sister. For another, the time and energy her mom needs to spend on her grandkids is time and energy spent not focused on her underaged daughter. This isn't about jealousy, this is about responsibility. This older sister is making terrible life choices and abusing her relationship with her pushover mom and sister. Someone needs to speak up and if the adults in the room won't say it, she may as well.
Who is the F is Sarah04???? C'mon- 'we' is ok. The child- and yes. She's under 18- should not be having to take care of her nieces and nephews- if I'm reading it right. Leave the home. Leave now and don't looks back-
She would need a GOOD job and these days, one that can afford you a place to live (good luck). She is autistic, which can make it difficult to keep a job.
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How is any of this not OP'S business? Funny how that little item doesn't come up when she's helping her mother manage the mob. Laurie is a prime example of irresponsible parenting. She has babies on a whim, then dumps them on family members. CPS is wa-a-a-ay overdue on getting involved. Those kids are NOT OP'S responsibility; never have been and never should have been. Her mother and Laurie's father are nothing more than enablers, making things even worse for OP. I hope there are family members she can move in with ASAP. If not, she should be looking at hitting the road as soon as she turns 18. She may need help with obtaining her legal documents, as her mother and Laurie may try to trap her into staying because, "fa-a-a-a-mily." In fact, CPS could find her somewhere else to reside until she's of legal age. It may be the only way to escape.
I think the real a*****e here is the mother. The family seems disfuncional from the very beginning, but anyway. Planned? Tell me definition of planned, please. Let's do the math. The sister is 26, and her eldest are 7. How can anybody in their right mind say an 18-year-old planned that? Did she have a job to support her own needs and the baby's, and her own place to live? I don't think so, because eight years later she's still living at home. She obviously knows no limits, and has zero responsibility. And the mother lets her get away with it. If I were OP, I'd stop helping. At all. The mother has to set limits, because the sister clearly believes everybody must look after her kids... except Her Ladyship. Poor OP seems to be surrounded by idiots.
"Planned" doesn't mean that a discussion was held regarding if this was the right time for a baby, if finances were stable enough, how they would juggle working full-time and childcare, etc. "Planned" here clearly means that the sister decided she wanted a baby and then got pregnant, nothing more. Idiots of all ages have planned pregnancies all the time; jobs, housing, finances are not factored in whatsoever. OP is definitely surrounded by idiots, but her mother is the biggest problem. Her mother puts the sister's wants and needs above everyone else's, essentially condones her sister's breeding practices, and allows OP's life to be negatively impacted when it doesn't have to be.
Load More Replies... NTA. But to all the YTA commenters - you definitely are. OP is 16 - legally still a minor that belongs in that house. Big sister and presumably grandpa hate OP for just existing. Yet they feel free exposing these “beloved” children to such a brat. Mom would not be the first caring grandparent to get used and manipulated into raising grandchildren for fear of what would happen to them. Sometimes another family member needs to help advocate for Mom Also - let’s not forget that OP voiced a single surprised reaction - the baby factory then pushed for an actual opinion
NTA. Been there, done that. I was 15 when I lived with my older sister, her hubby and at the time, 1 kid. She was pregnant with #2. I was the defacto live-in babysitter. 14 months later, kid #3 is popped out. This was 1982. I moved out before I graduated from high school. I did graduate. I wanted nothing whatsoever to do with babysitting again. I love my nieces and nephew but their parents were absolute c**p. I never wanted kids but living with them cemented it. ........
If the sister is heavily financially dependent on the mom and is heavily dependent on the mom and sis for babysitting then she is a parasite and should not be having anymore kids. When I got old enough my mom told me plainly that if I had a kid, I would be fully responsible for it, from finances to childcare, because she said if I was able to heavily rely on other for support, it would be easy for me to have more cause I would know there's people to step in. That pretty much kept me on the straight and narrow until I was ready financially and childcare wise, to have my own children. You see it all the time. The mom needs to put strong boundaries in place. If you have 7 kids and the ability to take care of them then I'm all for it. If you have 7 kids and you're relying on relatives to step in financially and childcare wise, then you're a leech. Plain and simple. The fact that she expected everyone to be excited for her is unreal.
The sister started crying and ran to the car, her boyfriend joined hee and they LEFT. So she left her 5 kids and went somewhere. Dumped then on her relatives as always. Pretty telling I think. So no, OP's NTA.
For the YTA people saying it's up to her parents to decide. Yes! Until it affects the daughter having to help out. If she's changing more diapers than their own mother, then she 100% has a say
I have a younger cousin who was told by drs not to have kids. She almost died on the first one. Then went on to have another 4...up to 5 now. She doesn't work. She lived with her dad and one of the dads on an off. One kid is starting college....and she just had another one. Now she's got 6! Her mom passed away a few years ago and this past year her dad did. She barely has cleaned out his house. And has people living there now destroying it. I have to say at her second baby shower I wrapped a box of condoms an put it on the gift table. It was funny when she opened it. Like you don't work. You mooch(ed) off your parent(s) for money and rides (doesn't drive), and cigs. When she was stopping at her dads to feed the two cats (which there was no electricity because she isn't paying the bills) if she did throw anything away it went in the back yard in a growing pile. So she's not disabled. She's healthy enough to f**k a n have kids but doesn't want to work and she is on til tok all day.
This is ridiculous. To say that's she is a AH is uncalled for. My family has someone like this, he has had four kids with three different people and his mom is getting old and can't handle them but he expects her to. Some of y'all may think that she was a AH but we are getting to a breaking point with just 4 but SIX I definitely would have said those things. And to the people who say "she hiding behind her disability" she probably included that because none of her family backs her up so she added that in there to back herself up a bit.
I don't think some of the people who replied realise that op doesn't feel like she can say no because of how much she worries about her mother. Yes her mum should definitely put her foot down and say she's done enough childcare, but clearly she doesn't feel like she can say no either as it will affect her grandchildren even more than their mother. I feel sorry for op and I think her outburst was every pent up emotion she had been feeling and her sister did need to be told how her choices were having an impact on people who shouldn't be doing the parenting. I hope op doesn't feel like she has to stay and help her mum instead of going away to college (if that is something she is working towards). It wouldn't surprise me if she stays child free in the future because she has had to be a parent to someone else's children.
To the a*****e who said that atusim is an excuse to hide behind you are truly the a*****e. Atusim wasn't and never will be an excuse so pull the judgemental stick out of your a*s and mind your own damn business. You heartless monster
stop pretending people dont use "disabilities" as an excuse to act a certain way all the time. just because you're a t@rd dont mean you're safe from criticism.
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For some reason one of the biggest takeaways for me was that Laurie (or Laury, whatever) is only 26 yet has 7 years old twins who were supposedly planned. What 19 year old plans to have a baby? This whole situation is incredibly f****d up. OP is NTA, I agree with her 100%, although I've learned in my old age that people definitely don't want your opinion about how they're ruining their lives, even if they ask for it. I hope OP is able to get out eventually and get her own life so that she can gain some distance from this dynamic.
The ones who think it'll keep a man and worse case scenario just throw them to other relatives to deal with her sister 100% is that type
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If she can't take care of the kids herself, she shouldn't produce more. Definetely NTA.
Not the AH. And it's not your autism that makes you feel that way. Your sister is being completely irresponsible and selfish. It should not be up to you to say anything but obviously your mother is incapable and no one else has any sense. Future of all of those children are sad, but it's not some thing that you can take on.
Having autism makes it all harder for her. The children likely trigger her symptoms. And she's only sixteen herself. She needs her mother, but her mother is too busy raising her grandkids.
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But, here’s a point. Has anyone explained to 26 year old Laurie on her 7th kid, what causes that?
It seems Laury is unaware that sex is one of the leading causes of pregnancy.
I mean not really depends on where you shoot the load or you could always just put it in her can and that solves the problem.
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NTA. It had to be said. I couldn't fathom one, let alone seven. I'd run away, never to be seen or heard from again.
I would have replied "OMG, you haven't figured out what causes that yet?"
sex dont actually cause it. its traditional sex that causes it. theres more than 1 hole
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OP was 8/9 when Joe and Beck (the twins) were born. When someone pointed out the Joe and Beck reference, OP said, in bold, "I TRIED TELLING HER THE NAMES WEREN'T GOOD!". Actually, not to mention Joe and Beck come from You which was only made 5 years ago. Either OP didn't really get the reference the commenter made or this is another BS story. I know I'm cynical but there's just so much nonsense flying around the internet these days.
Wow. While she definitely was a bit of TA and annoying, sometimes you just gotta love the unfiltered bluntness of youth. She vocalized exactly what a lot of adults would think but be too reserved to say. If half of what she said is true, the sister has no business continuing to reproduce. It’s ridiculous and she needs a wake up call.
Im sorry. 6 kids with at least two different fathers and a seventh on the way at 27 is just stupid. Add in that the woman left her youngest child to go have a tantrum. Op did nothing wrong except wait to call her sister out.
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OP is NTA!! She literally has a front row view of her sister's multiple pregnancies and how they're taking a toll on mom, both physically and financially! Seriously, mom had already raised her kids, and doesn't need to raise her own grandchildren! Plus, sis needs to find a way to support the kids she has, by getting child support from the baby daddy(ies), by working an extra job, but ultimately, sis is the mother who is supposed to raise those kids, not mom!
She's only popping out babies because she can shove them off on someone else. Her being excited while the entire room is dead silent is a DEAD GIVEAWAY, absolutely speaks volumes about how everyone ACTUALLY feels about it. Not our fault as autistic people that we have the balls to actually say s**t. And I mean, it IS OP's buisness, they and their mom have to take care of those kids that aren't even their's!!!!! Also, it wasn't unnecessary. She IS being a selfish b*tch. We call spades spades in our community, and she's a spade.
it's not that they have the balls to say it it's that their literally to stupid to realize what they're saying is offensive or would be seen as offensive. I mean come on their ret@arded.
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Since OP's sister is pawning the kids off on their mother to raise and OP helps babysit them, then it is OP's business and unfortunately, she is part of the circus as a minor child who lives with her mother. Having 6 kids that you can't afford and dumping them on your mother to raise is a selfish a$$hole move. OP's mom wouldn't be the first well-meaning grandma to get suckered into raising her grandchildren out of fear of what would happen to them if she didn't. Maybe OP was harsh, but I probably would have snapped too if I was in the same situation. Even if the family is well-off, they might not be for much longer since OP's mom quit her job because Laury thinks her uterus is a clown car.
Has your sister ever heard of contraceptives? She likes sex, like , a lot, right? Thats at the core of the issue.
Apparently the men she's had sex with are equally irresponsible.
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Reminds me of a certain family member that had several children taken from her because she's a druggie and an unfit parent. Yet she keeps having more.
Why aren't all 6 fathers stepping in and helping out? Does she even know who they are
Does she not know how birth control works? Maybe she should be fixed.
the best birth control is a**l. Catholics been doing it forever.
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OP's sister needs to put a nickel between her knees and KEEP it there! She needs NO. MORE. CHILDREN. PERIOD!!
nah she could just have her bf put it in her can or shoot it on her back. these are also effective modes birth control.
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The problem IS NOT the amount of kids. Large families are great and get too much unwarranted hate. The problem (if everything is as OP represented it) is that her sister has no direction and no sense of responsibility. Too many baby daddies makes it all messy. Boyfriend won't stick around. This is not a multigenerational home which can be a beautiful thing when everyone pitches in to help each other across the generations. This is personalized welfare from your family. But I don't see a way to fix it I mean you can't stop her from getting pregnant you can only stop enabling her
If her and her mother played no role in this, YTA, but they do, so NTA.
I hate it when people accuse innocent people like OP of "hiding behind a disability". It might not look like it, but having autism is absolutely a factor in this situation. It can make a house with a baby in it absolute hell (sensory issues + baby crying and nappy smell = big no no), it can impact their chances of being able to move out early because it causes struggles getting employed, and some autistic people also have low empathy, meaning it's physically difficult to feel empathy towards others. Autism doesn't excuse bad behaviour, but is can explain it and be a reason to cut people a little slack, especially in social circumstances when they may not have meant what people interpret their words to mean. That aside, this isn't even what I would call bad behaviour. They told the truth about what was going through their head, and it was mostly justified, if a little influenced by emotional thinking rather than logical (part of being a teenager).
NTA. This needed to be said, and it needed to be said openly and bluntly.
NTA (although the name calling wasn't really effective...) Can anyone notice that the older sister is basically NARCISSISTIC? And that the mother is a raging "co-dependant?" (I.e. "doormat"...) I think this teen should find ways to excuse herself as much as possible--for example get an after school job or do some kind of interesting volenteer work. Then, in the evening say "I need to do my homework" and put a lock on her bedroom door...And then after graduation move out as soon as possible--and live her own life. BTW this mom could end up with serious health problems after X amount of years (and who's to say that the sister won't have baby #8...?) I think the older sister should consider getting her tubes tied--but this would probably only be after the mom develops a backbone...just sayin'
"Street_One5954" shut the f**k up. She's not hiding, it's an issue and it's not her fault. As a neurodivergent, this is honestly incredibly rude. F**king shut up and take all my downvotes and everyone else's.
We celebrated when my SIL got her uterus out. I've said this before on BoredaPanda and I'll say it again. She is the absolute worst. There are 8 kids right now. 4 father's. My husband, and their parents have raised those kids but now the first 4 girls are turning like the mom. Rude to their grandmother, not in school, just in our world, ghetto. They think they want to live like their freeloading mom. This notion that falling pregnant "just so happens" and should be "celebrated" is complete b******t already. I'm over it. We are not animals, kids are not puppies. And to imagine their dad thinks my daughter "needs" a sibling. THEY'RE NOT PUPPIES! She's got literally 5 kids to choose from your daughter sir. So yea NTA, I'm over this popping kids out culture. The people who need birth control won't be using it. Horrid.
The mom is not helping at all in this situation she has given so much help for so many years, Laury knows that ifshe keeps having more her mom is going to continue to help her out.
In no way shape or form are you the a*****e. I've known people just like that chick. The ones that have no idea what birth control is or are incapable of keeping their legs closed. Because in the end they know there's a family member that will take care of all her little crotch goblins. Your momma must be a saint. Taking care of her grandchildren while putting herself out in the process. Helping and raising are two completely different things. Sounds to me like grandma is raising them kids instead of just helping out. She gave up a career and space in her home to do so. There needs to be a serious reevaluation on the dynamic in that house. I hope in the end y'all aren't the ones losing yourselves in the process of helping that ungrateful heifer.
I think you where right, in my opinion. You were nice about it, 😜. Are the fathers contributing in any of this? I mean d**n. There has to be a line drawn, scribbled or something. Enough is enough. I'm a mother of six, and I take care of all of them, my family helps when needed. Me personally make it clear that they are my responsibility, and no one else's! I don't expect anyone else to do my job as a parent. I would feel inadequate to do so... you're NTA. The parents need to step up and do their job. It's good making them, but,the responsibility of taking care of them isn't all that pleasurable huh? Do what you want to, just to help your mom so she stays sane. Your sister needs to grow tf up. Why doesn't she have her own place?
NTA and I bet Laury’s dad never sees her with all kids in tow. It IS OPs business in that she helps with childcare for free!
I think she has all the right in the world to be upset. She is helping with kids instead of being one and her mother raised her kids, she shouldn't have to raise her grandkids as well. Also, at some point you would think your body has had enough. This IS her lane. Seems like she's staying in it to me. Idc what anyone thinks. Had I been there, I would have stood up and started clapping after the younger sister said all of that.
I need more information. She's 16 with autism, so she really can't move out and take care of herself. She also takes care of her sister's kids, so maybe it was the frustration talking because she didn't want to take care of another kid for free that she didn't bring into the world. Is she being forced to watch the kids for free?
Parentification is a form of abuse. No child should be acting as parent to other children. But Laury is demanding that OP help raise her kids (no mention of being paid). By demanding their mum raise her kids for her (with OP's help), Laury is also depriving OP of the mothering and nurturing she herself still needs. The mum should be raising her teen daughter, not her grandkids.
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If Laury was married and taking care of her family, sure OP is TA. But Laury lives at home with her single mom. Mom is wasting her retirement years, taking lower social security income (calculated off of the final 10 years of work) caring for Laury's kids. And the "selfish b***h" was justified by the fact that Laury just left the baby (and other kids) and just left. I assure you that I never left my 9 month old somewhere and left in a huff. She didn't think twice, just ran out. And Mom went to tend to her baby. Laury treats her own children as siblings. Where TF is the father to the planned children?
"Street_One5954" Shut the actual f**k up. As a neurodivergent, you are a f**ked up person, this isn't her fault, she's not hiding, she's explaining her problem. I hope you get as many downvotes as humanly possible.
OP is entirely within her rights to throw in on a situation that has been dumped DIRECTLY ON HER. Funny how the men who do *nothing* feel like she should just shut up and parent....as a child. This is misogyny in America. The men should've comfortable at the cost of girl's lives being stolen away from them by the expectation of child rearing EVEN when it isn't their kid.
Having a lot of kids is one thing, those kids basically living at your mom's house is another. That sounds like that's what's happening here. Laurie and her boyfriend left, and mom went off to tend the baby. They were still there in the morning, like it was usual. Does Laurie know that there's FREE daycare grants, FREE headstart preschool, etc. for people who can't afford it to be able to work? I assume she works, because if she doesn't why isn't she taking care of her own kids? I have five kids (my ex was Mormon, I'm not. Long story.) Anyhow, I rarely ask my family for help. My choices, my kids, my responsibility.
Beck is a murder victim and Joe the murderer of her aned others from the book and TV series 'You'
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All of the "YTA"/"ESH" commenters were a f***ing trip. Clearly they neither have, nor want, any reading comprehension skills or even a basic understanding of autism. (Although, they don't seem to have any understanding of basic decency, empathy and respect for others, so why are we surprised that they're struggling with more complex issues?)
It's kind of hard to say Laury is a good mom when she drove off WITHOUT HER BABY. She left baby Karl behind!
Can relate, as I have autism too & there are times where I try to hold my tongue if something is going on, but at the same time; sometimes my thoughts & feelings about the situation will build up like a volcano, to a point where I can no longer keep silent & I either let out whatever I feel the need to say OR I burst into tears & my mum/sisters will keep asking me what’s wrong, until I do say something. So, in this scenario … I don’t blame OP whatsoever for blurting that out (& the older sister DID say “If you’ve got something to say, just say it”). I personally think it IS very selfish for older sister to get pregnant again, since she doesn’t even seem to want to care for the kids herself. The fact that she made her mom quit her job (yet still demands mom cough up money), mom being forced to build a nursery in her own house & even expects mom, OP & other relatives to do most, if not ALL the childcare?? I’m willing to bet she’s gonna do the exact same thing with this poor new baby. 😕🧩🤷♀️
All those people saying it doesn't affect OP's life apparently have as much trouble reading as Laury has keeping her legs closed. They live in OP's home, OP helps their mom since THEY can see & care that Grandma is being taking advantage of and can't keep it up. Sometimes a shytty person needs to be slapped in the face to wake up, literally or verbally.
How is it none of OP's business? She lives in the house where her Mom basically runs a daycare. Also, all she said was "bruh," then the sister pushed her. We do not know if she would have said all that without being pushed by the sister. I hate it when people push someone after they have stopped talking and then are offended by what they say.
Well....Damn....OP did GREAT! She said what nobody else was willing to say. Maybe if her mother expressed the same thought 4 kids ago maybe she wouldn't have a whole hockey team of mouths she lets her mother feed.
There are a few questions that have to be asked. Op never said if her sister had a job. If her sister is working to try and earn money to feed her kids, that puts a different light on things. Two Op mentioned she and her sister have some resentment between them. From OPs language I can guarantee it's not one sided. I'm a firm believer that how many children sis chooses to have is her choice, however I do agree that she needs to take better care of them. While I can understand OPS frustration, her response to the announcement was entirely inappropriate. Some of her irritation is justly warranted, but some seems to come thier unresolved sibling jealousy issues.
The OP is sixteen and disabled. She needs her mother's nurturing and guidance during her final years of childhood. Instead of getting that, the mum is raising her grandchildren, and OP is being forced, at 16, to help do that instead of prepare herself for adulthood. Laury has stolen OP's mother from her and is forcing OP to parent her kids. This isn't mere sibling jealousy. This is a narcissistic older sister who sees no problem with having children she cannot care for and not caring about the effect it has on others. I agree that everyone has the right to choose how many children they have, nobody has the right to make someone else raise their kids. Responsible people only have as many as they can take care of.
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NTA I don't care if you have autism or not. What was said needed saying. (The fact that someone has autism absolutely excuses an occasional outburst. It happens. Unless you have autism you wouldn't understand) It was said at just the right time. Big sister with the Mary Poppins uterus didn't like it because sometimes the truth hurts. Who on earth has a 7th child when they're not even (from the sound of it) taking care of the 6 they have? Big sister's dad needs to take over for OP's mom in the childcare and funding departments. Maybe then he would have a different outlook.
Ok would hate being around my mother's side of the fam. Kids galore and everyone raises em. My mother is the odd ball of her side of the fam. 3 kids - her bros and sisters (mom is youngest of 9) each had no less than 6 kids each. And no, most definitely not a Catholic family. Most of em are atheists.
Bae, yes it is, it is way more than 6 weeks
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Big deal. Why do people get bent out of shape over someone doing a minor bit of name-calling in a heated moment? It's nothing. If that's the worst thing she's ever been called she's frankly lucky, with her behaviour. The OP's sister IS selfish and she does sound quite the b!tch too, frankly. Harsh words, rude words - sometimes they are the only way to ram home the message. Words can be hurtful, but sometimes they're fair. This was one of those times.
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She does have empathy for those kids. She can see that yet another one will only make everyone's life harder, including the first 6 kids. I think you could be right about the mother doing what she does out of guilt though. I wouldn't be surprised if mega-mum even openly guilts her into taking care of the kids.
Load More Replies... "Not your circus, stay in your lane" and "YTA, none of your business" and "YTA, there is no 'we'" - except OP CLEARLY stated that she steps in to help with the kids when her mom is busy. So YES, it IS her circus. It IS her business. It IS "we", as OP AND her mom are taking care of the kids. Fück those dipshít comments and their commenters. Why isn't Laury's DAD helping with taking care of his spawn's spawn? Why isn't Laury's boyfriend (father of Karl) at LEAST helping with taking care of Karl? I was already pissed at Laury and her bf - and then I read that Laury got soooo sad that someone told her the harsh truth about having SIX KIDS by the age of 26 with a SEVENTH on the way, and her response AS AN ADULT AND MOTHER is to run away crying and ALLOW her bf to drive off with her, leaving her children behind. And yes, I AM also judging her on the fact that her current bf is the father of only ONE of her current kids (and the one that is currently in the oven).
I bet the people who called the OP TA are doing the same thing to their families (and their kids) that the sister is.
Load More Replies... NTA...not everyone is suited to be a parent, let alone a parent for a whole hockey team. And what really pisses me off are some of the comments saying that it's none of OP's business. It clearly is when it starts affecting her life and her mom's!
Exactly! I understand why OP and mom felt annoyed (Also my real name is Beck and I kinda feel bleh hearing that that isn’t.a good name according to OP 😅)
Load More Replies... For all if the peoowho have said that the OP is the AH and that it's no business of OP whether otnot Laury has another kjd....you need to go back and read the OP's post again. It is MOST CERTAINLY OP'sbusiness! OP a) gets stuck with babysitting over and over and over again!. And almost certainly never paid and probably never asked ahead of time. B) because grandma-dormat is spend ALL her time and energy on Laury's kids, OP doesn't have a functioning mother. Sorry...the OP is NTA!
There's also the financial aspect. OP is autistic. That may make it more difficult for her to find/keep a job. She may, as many disabled adults, need more financial support from her mum than the norm. Responsible parents of disabled kids do what they can to ensure their child's future security. Laury's clown-car uterus antics are draining resources OP may need in the future. OP cannot stop being disabled. Laury can certainly stop having babies she cannot take care of.
Load More Replies... Those saying "YTA none of your business" fail to grasp a simple truth. When the consequences of YOUR actions begin to impact ME, in any manner, big or small, it becomes MY business. Even in ideal circumstances having 7 kids is selfish and irresponsible, but when your entire "plan" is to hoist your SEVEN children at the age of TWENTY SIX by some undisclosed number of fathers onto your family with no regard for how it impacts them, you're trash. It's insane to me that being a parent is treated not only as a right, but a "blessing" it is not. It's a privilege, that clearly not everyone deserves.
Part of me would very much love to have a child. But I have AuDHD and CPTSD, and I know that I couldn't take care of one well. It makes me sad, but I'm being responsible and knowing my limitations.
Load More Replies... Should have called child protective services when she took off like that. Child abandonment. I'd make her life hell, since she doesn't mind making everyone else's life miserable. Cannot stand these breeders who dump their sex trophies on their families.
Unfortunately for OP, a call to child protective services would be pointless and fix nothing because OP's mother would just tell CPS that the kids weren't abandoned and that she was watching them. The situation OP is in exists because her mother has not held her sister responsible for anything, makes excuses for Laury's bad behavior, and has clearly never told her no. As long as the kids are safe and being taken care of by a responsible adult who is willing to do so, CPS won't intervene. Hopefully OP's autism will not impact her from moving out at 18, because this situation is outside of OP's control and not going to end any time soon.
Load More Replies... I judge anyone having so many kids. Even if they're physically and financially responsible for them. Having your own basketball team tells me you're either an attention seeker or a religious zealot. Which sometimes overlaps.
Or completely out of touch to the fact the planet is over populated and can't sustain all these beings much longer
Load More Replies... Some women love the attention and gifts that come with pregnancy and newborns, but none of what comes after. I suspect she's one of those. Selfish is definitely the right word for her.
Load More Replies... First of all, they are from different fathers, but OP destroyed the family?
All the people saying OP,is the AH are probably acting just as irresponsible as her dumb sister. Op is NYA and obviously the only one who is thinking clearly.
She didn't BLAME it on the autism. She literally just said that she can't tell whether she was an a-hole or not for saying what she said.
And then the YTA telling her not to blame it on her 'disability' smh
Load More Replies... "she is a great mom" as she leaves WITHOUT her children. What the ever loving fck?
It f****d, right. Cuz the AHs will never comprehend while the sane ones will have to deal with it.
Load More Replies... I would have been so tempted to turn to the boyfriend and say, "dude, do I need to get a banana and give a demonstration?"
When I saw this I immediately thought of my stepdaughter's friend, Sylvia, who just recently had baby #8 at 32 years old. Her first six live with their baby daddies since she cannot afford to take care of them.
Of course it's OP's business. For one, she's forced to help out with these kids. She's been parentified by her idiot sister. For another, the time and energy her mom needs to spend on her grandkids is time and energy spent not focused on her underaged daughter. This isn't about jealousy, this is about responsibility. This older sister is making terrible life choices and abusing her relationship with her pushover mom and sister. Someone needs to speak up and if the adults in the room won't say it, she may as well.
Who is the F is Sarah04???? C'mon- 'we' is ok. The child- and yes. She's under 18- should not be having to take care of her nieces and nephews- if I'm reading it right. Leave the home. Leave now and don't looks back-
She would need a GOOD job and these days, one that can afford you a place to live (good luck). She is autistic, which can make it difficult to keep a job.
Load More Replies... How is any of this not OP'S business? Funny how that little item doesn't come up when she's helping her mother manage the mob. Laurie is a prime example of irresponsible parenting. She has babies on a whim, then dumps them on family members. CPS is wa-a-a-ay overdue on getting involved. Those kids are NOT OP'S responsibility; never have been and never should have been. Her mother and Laurie's father are nothing more than enablers, making things even worse for OP. I hope there are family members she can move in with ASAP. If not, she should be looking at hitting the road as soon as she turns 18. She may need help with obtaining her legal documents, as her mother and Laurie may try to trap her into staying because, "fa-a-a-a-mily." In fact, CPS could find her somewhere else to reside until she's of legal age. It may be the only way to escape.
I think the real a*****e here is the mother. The family seems disfuncional from the very beginning, but anyway. Planned? Tell me definition of planned, please. Let's do the math. The sister is 26, and her eldest are 7. How can anybody in their right mind say an 18-year-old planned that? Did she have a job to support her own needs and the baby's, and her own place to live? I don't think so, because eight years later she's still living at home. She obviously knows no limits, and has zero responsibility. And the mother lets her get away with it. If I were OP, I'd stop helping. At all. The mother has to set limits, because the sister clearly believes everybody must look after her kids... except Her Ladyship. Poor OP seems to be surrounded by idiots.
"Planned" doesn't mean that a discussion was held regarding if this was the right time for a baby, if finances were stable enough, how they would juggle working full-time and childcare, etc. "Planned" here clearly means that the sister decided she wanted a baby and then got pregnant, nothing more. Idiots of all ages have planned pregnancies all the time; jobs, housing, finances are not factored in whatsoever. OP is definitely surrounded by idiots, but her mother is the biggest problem. Her mother puts the sister's wants and needs above everyone else's, essentially condones her sister's breeding practices, and allows OP's life to be negatively impacted when it doesn't have to be.
Load More Replies... NTA. But to all the YTA commenters - you definitely are. OP is 16 - legally still a minor that belongs in that house. Big sister and presumably grandpa hate OP for just existing. Yet they feel free exposing these “beloved” children to such a brat. Mom would not be the first caring grandparent to get used and manipulated into raising grandchildren for fear of what would happen to them. Sometimes another family member needs to help advocate for Mom Also - let’s not forget that OP voiced a single surprised reaction - the baby factory then pushed for an actual opinion
NTA. Been there, done that. I was 15 when I lived with my older sister, her hubby and at the time, 1 kid. She was pregnant with #2. I was the defacto live-in babysitter. 14 months later, kid #3 is popped out. This was 1982. I moved out before I graduated from high school. I did graduate. I wanted nothing whatsoever to do with babysitting again. I love my nieces and nephew but their parents were absolute c**p. I never wanted kids but living with them cemented it. ........
If the sister is heavily financially dependent on the mom and is heavily dependent on the mom and sis for babysitting then she is a parasite and should not be having anymore kids. When I got old enough my mom told me plainly that if I had a kid, I would be fully responsible for it, from finances to childcare, because she said if I was able to heavily rely on other for support, it would be easy for me to have more cause I would know there's people to step in. That pretty much kept me on the straight and narrow until I was ready financially and childcare wise, to have my own children. You see it all the time. The mom needs to put strong boundaries in place. If you have 7 kids and the ability to take care of them then I'm all for it. If you have 7 kids and you're relying on relatives to step in financially and childcare wise, then you're a leech. Plain and simple. The fact that she expected everyone to be excited for her is unreal.
The sister started crying and ran to the car, her boyfriend joined hee and they LEFT. So she left her 5 kids and went somewhere. Dumped then on her relatives as always. Pretty telling I think. So no, OP's NTA.
For the YTA people saying it's up to her parents to decide. Yes! Until it affects the daughter having to help out. If she's changing more diapers than their own mother, then she 100% has a say
I have a younger cousin who was told by drs not to have kids. She almost died on the first one. Then went on to have another 4...up to 5 now. She doesn't work. She lived with her dad and one of the dads on an off. One kid is starting college....and she just had another one. Now she's got 6! Her mom passed away a few years ago and this past year her dad did. She barely has cleaned out his house. And has people living there now destroying it. I have to say at her second baby shower I wrapped a box of condoms an put it on the gift table. It was funny when she opened it. Like you don't work. You mooch(ed) off your parent(s) for money and rides (doesn't drive), and cigs. When she was stopping at her dads to feed the two cats (which there was no electricity because she isn't paying the bills) if she did throw anything away it went in the back yard in a growing pile. So she's not disabled. She's healthy enough to f**k a n have kids but doesn't want to work and she is on til tok all day.
This is ridiculous. To say that's she is a AH is uncalled for. My family has someone like this, he has had four kids with three different people and his mom is getting old and can't handle them but he expects her to. Some of y'all may think that she was a AH but we are getting to a breaking point with just 4 but SIX I definitely would have said those things. And to the people who say "she hiding behind her disability" she probably included that because none of her family backs her up so she added that in there to back herself up a bit.
I don't think some of the people who replied realise that op doesn't feel like she can say no because of how much she worries about her mother. Yes her mum should definitely put her foot down and say she's done enough childcare, but clearly she doesn't feel like she can say no either as it will affect her grandchildren even more than their mother. I feel sorry for op and I think her outburst was every pent up emotion she had been feeling and her sister did need to be told how her choices were having an impact on people who shouldn't be doing the parenting. I hope op doesn't feel like she has to stay and help her mum instead of going away to college (if that is something she is working towards). It wouldn't surprise me if she stays child free in the future because she has had to be a parent to someone else's children.
To the a*****e who said that atusim is an excuse to hide behind you are truly the a*****e. Atusim wasn't and never will be an excuse so pull the judgemental stick out of your a*s and mind your own damn business. You heartless monster
stop pretending people dont use "disabilities" as an excuse to act a certain way all the time. just because you're a t@rd dont mean you're safe from criticism.
Load More Replies... For some reason one of the biggest takeaways for me was that Laurie (or Laury, whatever) is only 26 yet has 7 years old twins who were supposedly planned. What 19 year old plans to have a baby? This whole situation is incredibly f****d up. OP is NTA, I agree with her 100%, although I've learned in my old age that people definitely don't want your opinion about how they're ruining their lives, even if they ask for it. I hope OP is able to get out eventually and get her own life so that she can gain some distance from this dynamic.
The ones who think it'll keep a man and worse case scenario just throw them to other relatives to deal with her sister 100% is that type
Load More Replies... If she can't take care of the kids herself, she shouldn't produce more. Definetely NTA.
Not the AH. And it's not your autism that makes you feel that way. Your sister is being completely irresponsible and selfish. It should not be up to you to say anything but obviously your mother is incapable and no one else has any sense. Future of all of those children are sad, but it's not some thing that you can take on.
Having autism makes it all harder for her. The children likely trigger her symptoms. And she's only sixteen herself. She needs her mother, but her mother is too busy raising her grandkids.
Load More Replies... But, here’s a point. Has anyone explained to 26 year old Laurie on her 7th kid, what causes that?
It seems Laury is unaware that sex is one of the leading causes of pregnancy.
I mean not really depends on where you shoot the load or you could always just put it in her can and that solves the problem.
Load More Replies... NTA. It had to be said. I couldn't fathom one, let alone seven. I'd run away, never to be seen or heard from again.
I would have replied "OMG, you haven't figured out what causes that yet?"
sex dont actually cause it. its traditional sex that causes it. theres more than 1 hole
Load More Replies... OP was 8/9 when Joe and Beck (the twins) were born. When someone pointed out the Joe and Beck reference, OP said, in bold, "I TRIED TELLING HER THE NAMES WEREN'T GOOD!". Actually, not to mention Joe and Beck come from You which was only made 5 years ago. Either OP didn't really get the reference the commenter made or this is another BS story. I know I'm cynical but there's just so much nonsense flying around the internet these days.
Wow. While she definitely was a bit of TA and annoying, sometimes you just gotta love the unfiltered bluntness of youth. She vocalized exactly what a lot of adults would think but be too reserved to say. If half of what she said is true, the sister has no business continuing to reproduce. It’s ridiculous and she needs a wake up call.
Im sorry. 6 kids with at least two different fathers and a seventh on the way at 27 is just stupid. Add in that the woman left her youngest child to go have a tantrum. Op did nothing wrong except wait to call her sister out.
Load More Replies... OP is NTA!! She literally has a front row view of her sister's multiple pregnancies and how they're taking a toll on mom, both physically and financially! Seriously, mom had already raised her kids, and doesn't need to raise her own grandchildren! Plus, sis needs to find a way to support the kids she has, by getting child support from the baby daddy(ies), by working an extra job, but ultimately, sis is the mother who is supposed to raise those kids, not mom!
She's only popping out babies because she can shove them off on someone else. Her being excited while the entire room is dead silent is a DEAD GIVEAWAY, absolutely speaks volumes about how everyone ACTUALLY feels about it. Not our fault as autistic people that we have the balls to actually say s**t. And I mean, it IS OP's buisness, they and their mom have to take care of those kids that aren't even their's!!!!! Also, it wasn't unnecessary. She IS being a selfish b*tch. We call spades spades in our community, and she's a spade.
it's not that they have the balls to say it it's that their literally to stupid to realize what they're saying is offensive or would be seen as offensive. I mean come on their ret@arded.
Load More Replies... Since OP's sister is pawning the kids off on their mother to raise and OP helps babysit them, then it is OP's business and unfortunately, she is part of the circus as a minor child who lives with her mother. Having 6 kids that you can't afford and dumping them on your mother to raise is a selfish a$$hole move. OP's mom wouldn't be the first well-meaning grandma to get suckered into raising her grandchildren out of fear of what would happen to them if she didn't. Maybe OP was harsh, but I probably would have snapped too if I was in the same situation. Even if the family is well-off, they might not be for much longer since OP's mom quit her job because Laury thinks her uterus is a clown car.
Has your sister ever heard of contraceptives? She likes sex, like , a lot, right? Thats at the core of the issue.
Apparently the men she's had sex with are equally irresponsible.
Load More Replies... Reminds me of a certain family member that had several children taken from her because she's a druggie and an unfit parent. Yet she keeps having more.
Why aren't all 6 fathers stepping in and helping out? Does she even know who they are
Does she not know how birth control works? Maybe she should be fixed.
the best birth control is a**l. Catholics been doing it forever.
Load More Replies... OP's sister needs to put a nickel between her knees and KEEP it there! She needs NO. MORE. CHILDREN. PERIOD!!
nah she could just have her bf put it in her can or shoot it on her back. these are also effective modes birth control.
Load More Replies... The problem IS NOT the amount of kids. Large families are great and get too much unwarranted hate. The problem (if everything is as OP represented it) is that her sister has no direction and no sense of responsibility. Too many baby daddies makes it all messy. Boyfriend won't stick around. This is not a multigenerational home which can be a beautiful thing when everyone pitches in to help each other across the generations. This is personalized welfare from your family. But I don't see a way to fix it I mean you can't stop her from getting pregnant you can only stop enabling her
If her and her mother played no role in this, YTA, but they do, so NTA.
I hate it when people accuse innocent people like OP of "hiding behind a disability". It might not look like it, but having autism is absolutely a factor in this situation. It can make a house with a baby in it absolute hell (sensory issues + baby crying and nappy smell = big no no), it can impact their chances of being able to move out early because it causes struggles getting employed, and some autistic people also have low empathy, meaning it's physically difficult to feel empathy towards others. Autism doesn't excuse bad behaviour, but is can explain it and be a reason to cut people a little slack, especially in social circumstances when they may not have meant what people interpret their words to mean. That aside, this isn't even what I would call bad behaviour. They told the truth about what was going through their head, and it was mostly justified, if a little influenced by emotional thinking rather than logical (part of being a teenager).
NTA. This needed to be said, and it needed to be said openly and bluntly.
NTA (although the name calling wasn't really effective...) Can anyone notice that the older sister is basically NARCISSISTIC? And that the mother is a raging "co-dependant?" (I.e. "doormat"...) I think this teen should find ways to excuse herself as much as possible--for example get an after school job or do some kind of interesting volenteer work. Then, in the evening say "I need to do my homework" and put a lock on her bedroom door...And then after graduation move out as soon as possible--and live her own life. BTW this mom could end up with serious health problems after X amount of years (and who's to say that the sister won't have baby #8...?) I think the older sister should consider getting her tubes tied--but this would probably only be after the mom develops a backbone...just sayin'
"Street_One5954" shut the f**k up. She's not hiding, it's an issue and it's not her fault. As a neurodivergent, this is honestly incredibly rude. F**king shut up and take all my downvotes and everyone else's.
We celebrated when my SIL got her uterus out. I've said this before on BoredaPanda and I'll say it again. She is the absolute worst. There are 8 kids right now. 4 father's. My husband, and their parents have raised those kids but now the first 4 girls are turning like the mom. Rude to their grandmother, not in school, just in our world, ghetto. They think they want to live like their freeloading mom. This notion that falling pregnant "just so happens" and should be "celebrated" is complete b******t already. I'm over it. We are not animals, kids are not puppies. And to imagine their dad thinks my daughter "needs" a sibling. THEY'RE NOT PUPPIES! She's got literally 5 kids to choose from your daughter sir. So yea NTA, I'm over this popping kids out culture. The people who need birth control won't be using it. Horrid.
The mom is not helping at all in this situation she has given so much help for so many years, Laury knows that ifshe keeps having more her mom is going to continue to help her out.
In no way shape or form are you the a*****e. I've known people just like that chick. The ones that have no idea what birth control is or are incapable of keeping their legs closed. Because in the end they know there's a family member that will take care of all her little crotch goblins. Your momma must be a saint. Taking care of her grandchildren while putting herself out in the process. Helping and raising are two completely different things. Sounds to me like grandma is raising them kids instead of just helping out. She gave up a career and space in her home to do so. There needs to be a serious reevaluation on the dynamic in that house. I hope in the end y'all aren't the ones losing yourselves in the process of helping that ungrateful heifer.
I think you where right, in my opinion. You were nice about it, 😜. Are the fathers contributing in any of this? I mean d**n. There has to be a line drawn, scribbled or something. Enough is enough. I'm a mother of six, and I take care of all of them, my family helps when needed. Me personally make it clear that they are my responsibility, and no one else's! I don't expect anyone else to do my job as a parent. I would feel inadequate to do so... you're NTA. The parents need to step up and do their job. It's good making them, but,the responsibility of taking care of them isn't all that pleasurable huh? Do what you want to, just to help your mom so she stays sane. Your sister needs to grow tf up. Why doesn't she have her own place?
NTA and I bet Laury’s dad never sees her with all kids in tow. It IS OPs business in that she helps with childcare for free!
I think she has all the right in the world to be upset. She is helping with kids instead of being one and her mother raised her kids, she shouldn't have to raise her grandkids as well. Also, at some point you would think your body has had enough. This IS her lane. Seems like she's staying in it to me. Idc what anyone thinks. Had I been there, I would have stood up and started clapping after the younger sister said all of that.
I need more information. She's 16 with autism, so she really can't move out and take care of herself. She also takes care of her sister's kids, so maybe it was the frustration talking because she didn't want to take care of another kid for free that she didn't bring into the world. Is she being forced to watch the kids for free?
Parentification is a form of abuse. No child should be acting as parent to other children. But Laury is demanding that OP help raise her kids (no mention of being paid). By demanding their mum raise her kids for her (with OP's help), Laury is also depriving OP of the mothering and nurturing she herself still needs. The mum should be raising her teen daughter, not her grandkids.
Load More Replies... If Laury was married and taking care of her family, sure OP is TA. But Laury lives at home with her single mom. Mom is wasting her retirement years, taking lower social security income (calculated off of the final 10 years of work) caring for Laury's kids. And the "selfish b***h" was justified by the fact that Laury just left the baby (and other kids) and just left. I assure you that I never left my 9 month old somewhere and left in a huff. She didn't think twice, just ran out. And Mom went to tend to her baby. Laury treats her own children as siblings. Where TF is the father to the planned children?
"Street_One5954" Shut the actual f**k up. As a neurodivergent, you are a f**ked up person, this isn't her fault, she's not hiding, she's explaining her problem. I hope you get as many downvotes as humanly possible.
OP is entirely within her rights to throw in on a situation that has been dumped DIRECTLY ON HER. Funny how the men who do *nothing* feel like she should just shut up and parent....as a child. This is misogyny in America. The men should've comfortable at the cost of girl's lives being stolen away from them by the expectation of child rearing EVEN when it isn't their kid.
Having a lot of kids is one thing, those kids basically living at your mom's house is another. That sounds like that's what's happening here. Laurie and her boyfriend left, and mom went off to tend the baby. They were still there in the morning, like it was usual. Does Laurie know that there's FREE daycare grants, FREE headstart preschool, etc. for people who can't afford it to be able to work? I assume she works, because if she doesn't why isn't she taking care of her own kids? I have five kids (my ex was Mormon, I'm not. Long story.) Anyhow, I rarely ask my family for help. My choices, my kids, my responsibility.
Beck is a murder victim and Joe the murderer of her aned others from the book and TV series 'You'
Load More Replies... All of the "YTA"/"ESH" commenters were a f***ing trip. Clearly they neither have, nor want, any reading comprehension skills or even a basic understanding of autism. (Although, they don't seem to have any understanding of basic decency, empathy and respect for others, so why are we surprised that they're struggling with more complex issues?)
It's kind of hard to say Laury is a good mom when she drove off WITHOUT HER BABY. She left baby Karl behind!
Can relate, as I have autism too & there are times where I try to hold my tongue if something is going on, but at the same time; sometimes my thoughts & feelings about the situation will build up like a volcano, to a point where I can no longer keep silent & I either let out whatever I feel the need to say OR I burst into tears & my mum/sisters will keep asking me what’s wrong, until I do say something. So, in this scenario … I don’t blame OP whatsoever for blurting that out (& the older sister DID say “If you’ve got something to say, just say it”). I personally think it IS very selfish for older sister to get pregnant again, since she doesn’t even seem to want to care for the kids herself. The fact that she made her mom quit her job (yet still demands mom cough up money), mom being forced to build a nursery in her own house & even expects mom, OP & other relatives to do most, if not ALL the childcare?? I’m willing to bet she’s gonna do the exact same thing with this poor new baby. 😕🧩🤷♀️
All those people saying it doesn't affect OP's life apparently have as much trouble reading as Laury has keeping her legs closed. They live in OP's home, OP helps their mom since THEY can see & care that Grandma is being taking advantage of and can't keep it up. Sometimes a shytty person needs to be slapped in the face to wake up, literally or verbally.
How is it none of OP's business? She lives in the house where her Mom basically runs a daycare. Also, all she said was "bruh," then the sister pushed her. We do not know if she would have said all that without being pushed by the sister. I hate it when people push someone after they have stopped talking and then are offended by what they say.
Well....Damn....OP did GREAT! She said what nobody else was willing to say. Maybe if her mother expressed the same thought 4 kids ago maybe she wouldn't have a whole hockey team of mouths she lets her mother feed.
There are a few questions that have to be asked. Op never said if her sister had a job. If her sister is working to try and earn money to feed her kids, that puts a different light on things. Two Op mentioned she and her sister have some resentment between them. From OPs language I can guarantee it's not one sided. I'm a firm believer that how many children sis chooses to have is her choice, however I do agree that she needs to take better care of them. While I can understand OPS frustration, her response to the announcement was entirely inappropriate. Some of her irritation is justly warranted, but some seems to come thier unresolved sibling jealousy issues.
The OP is sixteen and disabled. She needs her mother's nurturing and guidance during her final years of childhood. Instead of getting that, the mum is raising her grandchildren, and OP is being forced, at 16, to help do that instead of prepare herself for adulthood. Laury has stolen OP's mother from her and is forcing OP to parent her kids. This isn't mere sibling jealousy. This is a narcissistic older sister who sees no problem with having children she cannot care for and not caring about the effect it has on others. I agree that everyone has the right to choose how many children they have, nobody has the right to make someone else raise their kids. Responsible people only have as many as they can take care of.
Load More Replies... NTA I don't care if you have autism or not. What was said needed saying. (The fact that someone has autism absolutely excuses an occasional outburst. It happens. Unless you have autism you wouldn't understand) It was said at just the right time. Big sister with the Mary Poppins uterus didn't like it because sometimes the truth hurts. Who on earth has a 7th child when they're not even (from the sound of it) taking care of the 6 they have? Big sister's dad needs to take over for OP's mom in the childcare and funding departments. Maybe then he would have a different outlook.
Ok would hate being around my mother's side of the fam. Kids galore and everyone raises em. My mother is the odd ball of her side of the fam. 3 kids - her bros and sisters (mom is youngest of 9) each had no less than 6 kids each. And no, most definitely not a Catholic family. Most of em are atheists.
Bae, yes it is, it is way more than 6 weeks
Load More Replies... Big deal. Why do people get bent out of shape over someone doing a minor bit of name-calling in a heated moment? It's nothing. If that's the worst thing she's ever been called she's frankly lucky, with her behaviour. The OP's sister IS selfish and she does sound quite the b!tch too, frankly. Harsh words, rude words - sometimes they are the only way to ram home the message. Words can be hurtful, but sometimes they're fair. This was one of those times.
Load More Replies... She does have empathy for those kids. She can see that yet another one will only make everyone's life harder, including the first 6 kids. I think you could be right about the mother doing what she does out of guilt though. I wouldn't be surprised if mega-mum even openly guilts her into taking care of the kids.
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