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The dreaded ex. Most of us have got them. There are millions of occasions when the situation is resolved with an amicable, mature ceasefire that can even blossom into a beautiful friendship. Sadly, there are just as many occasions when the asshole can frankly just drop dead for all you care, together with his savage text fails.

In these times of instant messaging and easy contact at the touch of your fingertips, it can be just too tempting for the eschewed ex to reach out and test the waters. An uncalculated text from your ex can end up causing an explosion of emotions with WW III proportions. Bored Panda had compiled a list of times when people came up with the perfect response to these unwanted advances, some of them are just deliciously devilish and undoubtedly funny texts.

Scroll down to check out the list of ex-texts and funny messages, and may the force be with you while dealing with your senseless ex.

#1

Worse Than A B*tch

Worse Than A B*tch

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coffee zombie
Community Member
8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That moment when you realise you dated a douchebag

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    #2

    Hard Pass

    Hard Pass

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    Ben Smith
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's a pretty sick burn. Wonder what the guy did?

    Lyra Sis
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Damn they hate that person

    Ann Ros'a
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ohhhh I get it, they reaaalllllyyyy hate this person! (Since both of these guys are fears already)

    Monica Brown
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband has been frequently deleting all messages for the last couple of days from his phone and he didn’t know i was peeping at him, then i asked him why he was deleting all messages from his phone but he claimed that his phone memory was full and needed more space. Immediately i went in search of a hacker who can get me deleted information and contents from my husband’s phone and luckily for me i came across this reputable ethical hacker , this hacker got the job done for me and provided me with results and i saw that my husband has been lying to me. He was simply deleting all pictures, call logs, chats and text messages between him and his secret lover so i wont get to see what he has been doing at my back. Thank God for reputable hackers who are ready to help. Tracking cellphones and getting an accurate report has been a bit worrisome, thanks to Rosas Hubbolt service helped me locate certain cellphones without breaking a sweat. His service made me know that the internet has beco

    M.
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, Bin Laden and Hitler are already dead.

    Kennedy Smith
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have finally stumbled across a legit and genuine voodoo man, the person of Dr Noble who helped me kill my neighbour with his powerful death spell voodoo. My neighbour was a big problem to me and my household, she causes us troubles almost everyday and I had to get rid of her for peace to be restored in my home. Thank you Dr Noble for not disappointing me like others that I contacted before. you can reach Dr Noble now via email noblespellhome@ gmail.com. com or whatsapp him via +2 3 4 8 1 2 9 9 5 0 2 6 2 he also cast a spell for an ex lover to come back thanks

    Hannet Gray
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I want the World to know about my situation My husband filed for a divorce after 8 years of marriage it was difficult for me and the kids I did all I could to save my marriage and my family but all fail until a friend of mine told me about the wonderful work of Dr. Manley I contacted him and he assured me 24hours all will be well the next day to my greatest surprise my husband came back home and he went on his knees and was crying begging me for forgiveness I’m so happy right now thank you so much Dr.Manley, One message to him today can change your life too for the better. You can reach him via email: drmanleyhelphome@gmail.com or WhatsApp: ‪+905428528628

    Grace Jacob
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    EFFECTIVE AND POWERFUL LOVE SPELL CASTER AND LOTTERY SPELL 2022 igechispellhome@gmail.com OR WHATSAPP HIM :+2347085558689 I Want to use this great time to thank DR igechi for helping me reunite my broken relationship, i never believed on spell or magic till a friend of mine introduce DR igechi website and i check the website and read all his service and contacted him on his email : igechispellhome@gmail.com and ask him for help to help me bring back my lover who left me for another girl 6 months ago and a lottery winning spell and told me never to worry that he will help me with his powerful spell and he told me the procedure to follow and i did as he said after 2 days my boyfriend came back to me begging me to forgive him that everything he did to me was not his faul that he was under a spell that i should accept him back as my boyfriend and this was all i hatttve been waiting for. if you need any spell from him contact dr igechi or igechispellhome@gmail.com or contact him on WHATSAPP

    Jeon Y/N
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hitler AND Bin Laden??? Dam bro she really hate you 🥲😭🥺

    Grant Thomas
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I want to complement this site administrator for creating this platform for us to express our feelings. It was like a dream come true,i never believed i and my spouse could be together again, After 3 years of divorce God still use a great man called Priest Tokubo to heal my marriage again, i have been in hell all alone with the kids, so yesterday i was browsing on the internet when i saw a testimony of a lady how the same Godly man helped her bring back her ex so i copied the email and explained everything to man, he assured me everything will be fine i was thinking maybe he is talking about some other time to my surprise 24 hours after he told me my husband will contact me soon, to my greatest surprise my husband came back home just the way the priest said it, i was shocked even till now, my friends words are not enough to describe what this priest has done for me. i understand so many people reading this testimony are in a similar problem like this , my advice is for you to contact t

    Parker Rhoda
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    BRING BACK MY RELATIONSHIP I promise to share this testimony all over the world once my husband return to me  Hi .  My name is "Rhoda Parker" I was married for 15 years to Charles. things started getting ugly and we had fights and arguments almost every time... it got worse at a point that he filed A divorce... I tried my best to make him change his mind & stay with me.he moved out of the house and still went ahead to file for divorce... I pleaded and tried everything but still nothing worked. The breakthrough came when someone introduced me to this wonderful, great spell caster who eventually helped me out... I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try reluctantly cause I was desperate and left with no choice... He did special prayers and cast spells ...Dr Hassan released him up to know how much I loved and wanted him. And opened his eyes to picture how much we have share together .Within 2 days he called me and was sorry for all the emotional trauma he had cos

    Karina Star
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That’s just perfect, but for a video, I’m trying to find some roasts YOU can text your ex.

    Mark Tidd
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, Hitler and bin laden are both dead already, so the fact that they are in a room with someone is irrelevant. Still funny though.

    Godspeed
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No need for a comma after 'bin laden'....too much of a grammar nazi (see what I did there..hitler...nazi) :P

    Allana Rose
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh wow! She/he must really hate the exes guts!!

    Sally C
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ofc... The other two are already dead...

    Eric Theros
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Omfg that is EPIC! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    Bettye McKee
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This response should be patented, copyrighted, something.

    Elizabeth Clark
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now that is a good one, reminds me of how I feel about my ex.

    Laura Sherman
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Double points for sliding in an office reference XD

    Talia Johnson
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm getting the sense, and I may be wrong here, that she or he is not entirely fond of their ex.

    Kenny Kulbiski
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm going out to find someone to hate just so I can say that.

    Mark Tidd
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    could have said "one bullet to the head for each of them, then pummel you with the butt of the gun 'til you stop moving"

    Tecia Cox
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Seno Putra
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But..but.. How bout it Bin Laden swap to Trump?

    Susan Hedstrom
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Are you seeking spiritual solution to solve your problems? Spiritual issues, Marriage Problems, Job problems, Relationship problems, pregnant problems, LORD ZAKUZA is here to see you through. You can contact him via WhatsApp on +1 740 573 9483

    Felipe Dylan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hi everyone, do you need of help to win back your lost relationship with a love spell? Then you have just found the right person that can help you do that within 48 hours and he's name is Lord Zakuza. You can visit his website if you need his help via lordzakuzaspells.com

    Tonia Anderson
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Heartbreak is so painful that you can decide to take your own life but thanks to Lord Zakuza for saving me from that after bringing back my partner that broke my heart because of my best friend but now, we are back again with an endless love. Contact Lord Zakuza via WhatsApp: +1 740 573 9483, Email: lordzakuza7 @ gmail. com, Website: lordzakuzaspells.com

    Leta Mancare
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Getting to know Lord Zakuza has really changed my life after he helped me to get back my divorced husband back with his powerful spell. Text or WhatsApp Lord Zakuza via +1 (740) 573-9483.

    Febe Anouk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Effective love spell to get your ex lover, gay/lesbian partner, husband, wife back... WhatsApp him now with this number +1 740-573-9483..

    Felix Logan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Herbal Medicine Cure Herpes Virus Contact D.r EkpenTo Help You. my people Join me as i share the wonderful work of D.r. ekpen how he cured my Herpes 2 Disease, that almost took my life, i have lived with this disease and did all i could be cured but no way.i have been searching out on a cure to terminate my Herpes and on my search i found D.r Ekpen help on the lives of many people . and after i wrote to him on how to get a cure, he directed me on the steps and he prepared my herbal medicine and after he sent it to me True DHL to deliver the herbal medicine to me..within 2 week after using it that after using it, i will be cured, and that was how he sent me my medicine and after using it for 2 week i was found negative by my test result. why not contact him today on his email: doctorekpen222@gmail.com and he can still cured..HSV 2,HEPATITIS B,HIV AID,CANCER,DIABETICS, his email via Blog also text/call: WhatsApp +2348102454875 https://doctorekpenherbal.home.blog/

    Azure Adams
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Shoot you twice and have a three-way with them

    Carole Reid
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That s how I feel about Trump.

    Otis Spunkmeyer
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hitler was a fascist and a mass murderer. Bin Laden was a terrorist and a mass murderer. Please give 1 REAL example of why you equate them with Trump. I'll wait.

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    #3

    Slowly Suffocating

    Slowly Suffocating

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    WhiteFox
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH THAT WAS SO PERFECT 👌

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    #4

    Dealing With Your Ex

    Dealing With Your Ex

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    #5

    Lesson Learned

    Lesson Learned

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    #6

    Text Form Ex

    Text Form Ex

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    #7

    Savage Burn

    Savage Burn

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    Kjorn
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    traduction: i date other people for one year and now that i'm single again, i can't stand it. So i texting you again so we can got back together.

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    #8

    Moving On

    Moving On

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    #9

    It Reminds Me Of You

    It Reminds Me Of You

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    Neeraj Jha
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If it's not much of a bothering, I would like to have that Pizza Place's number.

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    #11

    Sleeping Like A Baby

    Sleeping Like A Baby

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    #13

    Just Nope

    Just Nope

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    #14

    Text From Ex

    Text From Ex

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    Lucida
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    " My mom is so excited for me" Bahaha

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    #15

    Growing Up

    Growing Up

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    KK
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i would of said "neither are we"

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    #17

    Wait, There Were Feelings?

    Wait, There Were Feelings?

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    #18

    You Just Have To Visit It

    You Just Have To Visit It

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    #19

    No Second Chance Here

    No Second Chance Here

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    Charlotte
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Those hearts though. Makes be wanna throw up.

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    #20

    Cheating Accidentally

    Cheating Accidentally

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    Virgil Blue
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Accident? Like "I tripped and fell and accidentally poked my dong into her. Then I had to move around vigorously to escape." Just replace some words if the other one cheated.

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    #21

    As Far Away As The Sun

    As Far Away As The Sun

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    #22

    Fact Check

    Fact Check

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    Lucida
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husbands ex did that when he and I started dating. She: "Oh, I love your beautiful big blue eyes" Him: "My eyes are green..." Hahaha! Stupid girl!

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    #23

    Text From Ex

    Text From Ex

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    #24

    Text From Ex

    Text From Ex

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    #25

    Thanks For Ruining It

    Thanks For Ruining It

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    #26

    Hi And Bye

    Hi And Bye

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    #29

    All Things Come To An End

    All Things Come To An End

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    #30

    Hard Pass

    Hard Pass

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    #31

    Feelings For You

    Feelings For You

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    #33

    Bad Taste And Low Standards

    Bad Taste And Low Standards

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    #34

    Text From Ex

    Text From Ex

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    sh
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Isn't pizza everyone's thing? Almost like saying, "I heard someone say oxygen today; made me think of the air we used to breathe together."

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    #37

    Text From Ex

    Text From Ex

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    nanashi
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this is a good one but almost too obviously fake.

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    #39

    A Huge Waste Of Time

    A Huge Waste Of Time

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    #40

    Punch In The Face

    Punch In The Face

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    Echo
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jeez the down votes are kind of harsh on this reply. You just assume he is a looser I guess?

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    #41

    Hodor

    Hodor

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    #44

    Setting It On Fire

    Setting It On Fire

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    #46

    Truly Inappropriate

    Truly Inappropriate

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    #47

    But I Still Love You

    But I Still Love You

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    #48

    Text From Ex

    Text From Ex

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    mocochang
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    hmm... if it's theirs, you should still return their stuff though...

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    #50

    A Lousy Essay

    A Lousy Essay

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    #52

    How High Are You

    How High Are You

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    #53

    Text From Ex

    Text From Ex

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    #54

    Hint Hint

    Hint Hint

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    WhiteFox
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    hint hint that ring is going to make you get your finger amputated

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    #57

    Eggplant Emoji

    Eggplant Emoji

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    #61

    Not Keeping Tabs Here

    Not Keeping Tabs Here

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    Kiahna
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At least he knew what he owed you?

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    #62

    That's Not A Possibility

    That's Not A Possibility

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    #65

    My Eyes Are Burning

    My Eyes Are Burning

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    #66

    Personal Show

    Personal Show

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    #67

    Congrats And Good Luck

    Congrats And Good Luck

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    #68

    Text From Ex

    Text From Ex

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    #70

    Text From Ex

    Text From Ex

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    That Fat Mouse
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why would he/she be asking for a ring size, if they are broken up? Just asking.

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    #71

    Tough One To Let Go

    Tough One To Let Go

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    #72

    I Know

    I Know

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    Zenozenobee
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Oh, baby, give me one more chance To show you that I love you Won't you please let me Back in your heart...."

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    #74

    Should've Kept It To Yourself

    Should've Kept It To Yourself

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    Santino Aznar
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why would you dirty those bowls and dishes? How can you bring yourself to do that? That's just nasty!

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    #76

    God Bless

    God Bless

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    Pi...
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This was a semi-genuine attempt at getting her back... well played.

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    #77

    Text From Ex

    Text From Ex

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    Neb
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would understand if that was sunglasses, but this would be unacceptable (unless they only want to threaten a bit). Yet knowing some of the eyeglasses prices... nop, a bad idea

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    #78

    Sorting Things Out

    Sorting Things Out

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    Krusty Shakelford
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm sick of people demanding their 'time' back. You made the choice to spend time with someone. You get what you pay for. No refunds.

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    #79

    Personal Space

    Personal Space

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    #81

    Hey Hey Hey

    Hey Hey Hey

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    #82

    Text From Ex

    Text From Ex

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    CelSlade
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Would have been cool if she just said 'like this...' :P

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    #83

    Text From Ex

    Text From Ex

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    #84

    Text From Ex

    Text From Ex

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    #85

    Text From Ex

    Text From Ex

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    Marie-Louise Chenois
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wonder if that new tattoo is a cover up of the old one :D

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    #86

    Text From Ex

    Text From Ex

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    Cassie
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is there something wrong with taking photos of fireworks?

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    #87

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