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If you’re a fan of laughing about the absurdity of life late at night (I am not judging what time you are reading this, even if it's 3 AM and you should be up by 6), then "WTF Life Jokes" might just deliver what you need today.

This page perfectly captures the essence of life's most relatable and, well... ironic moments. With a blend of dark or sometimes even surreal humor and a dash of ever-crushing reality, this page cooks up memes showcasing stuff like a solemn Batman reflecting on his unpopular support for Tom over Jerry to a hilarious take on how astrology people overreact to the most mundane horoscope predictions (Daily Tarot websites, I am looking at you). So Pandas, if you'd like to see more, feel free to scroll down!

#1

Wtf Life Jokes

Wtf Life Jokes Report

Sue Denham
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I believe this. Also: just when your pillow is worn in enough to be just right for you it *will* fall apart.

Sinnsyk Jakte
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am presently trying to come to terms with this. My beloved pillow is in its death throes. M'lad is probably glad for that, 'cause when it's nekkid pillow time, the damn thing looks like I've regularly washed it with tea bags.

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Louby Of Morrowind
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have never seen a meme that I have needed to see before. I thought I was alone in the pillow conundrum. I actually now stuff two pillows that have gone a bit flatter in to one pillow case and it's a game changer

sadmrguna
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I prefer it that way. I like to put my arm/arms between the two pillows!

ॐBoyGanesh
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m a pillow aficionado, as we all should be. I swear by Brooklinen or Boll & Branch. It doesn’t even matter what type you get from either of them. They’re always perfect.

KatSaidWhat
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I recently solved this by buying two more pillows in a different size.

LizzieBoredom
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Speaking of pillows, where's Mike Lindell?

Ovata Acronicta
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My best friend got a bizarre square pillow that she cannot find covers for (at a reasonable price). It is, miraculously, the best pillow in the world for her. I just have to put my head on a standard pillow and sandwich myself between two body pillows. And keep one foot under either of the pillows at the foot of the bed (although I've found this one less important as I've slept in other beds with only the head pillow and body pillows). I am...not the kind of person to share a bed with, just based on the pillows. We don't have to get into the sleep fighting.

Sue User
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kohls if you are in USA. I tried to buy normal pillow covers but got these huge square ones instead.

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Jack Burton
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Accurate picture cause it's all about chemistry, a pillow has his own temperature control.

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    #2

    The Wtf Guy

    The Wtf Guy Report

    JET
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Breath.. little small breaths. I am a boomer Age 61.... Its rough out here.. .nothing changes. Been there.. done it multiple times. Try to hang on. In the meantime its okay to take a job that pays your required income with no benefits until you find the job that you seriously desire and deserve.

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    LizzieBoredom
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Tell me a little about yourself." "I'd rather not. I really need this job."

    Robert Beveridge
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *20th interview at the same company (and why is it always Progressive Insurance)

    Heather Atwood
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And yet "Bidenomics is working!" is what we hear from our leaders. There are no mid-level jobs! It's either hedge fund investor or McDonald's.

    Jenna Kay
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And I agree with LargeMarge. I live and work in the US, and there are a great many good jobs out there that people just don't want to do. I have a state job with great benefits and a pension, but it's not a dream job by any means. Most state, county, and city jobs pay decently, but you won't get rich doing them. People look down on these kinds of workers, but we are needed to make everyday life work! People need mail delivered, pot holes filled, someone to make sure you aren't price gouged after a natural disaster, running water, electricity, a place for stray animals to go and be cared for, building inspected for safety, etc. we have lots of openings, all the time! No it isn't glamorous, but it puts food on the table, pays medical bills, pays the mortgage or rent, and serves the community. AND it would be lovely if we had more people apply, instead of complain that we aren't getting things done because we are understaffed!

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    seetan23
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm the Chief Interview Officer

    Candid Panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Companies are taking advantage of the bad job market by gaming the system with posts for jobs they have no intent on filling. All creating an impression of growth. They’ll post them as something like “General Interest” to see what kind of talent they can cultivate and how low of a salary they can offer. Also, drawn-out interview processes or ghosting by hiring managers is the new norm. I have had several interviews that have gone to 7 or 9 rounds for 1 job. All of this is wreaking havoc on our economy, let alone a candidate’s self-esteem.

    TheGoodBoi
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Great! You'll be hearing back from us shortly."

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    #3

    Funny-Life-Jokes-Memes

    WTF Life Jokes Report

    Jack Burton
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's damn scarry when you realize homeless people had pretty standard life before. Usually starts with unemployment, separation, health trouble, bankrucy, alcool... Can happen to anyone.

    flower petals
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a formerly unhoused person I can confirm. *Never* take things like a roof over your head for granted- you never know what life’s going to throw at you. ❤️‍🩹

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    Sean Sean
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People don't understand just how easy they can become homeless. They delude themselves into thinking it can't happen to them because they have a job, when they don't know that almost half of all homeless in the USA have jobs.

    Charlotte
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not just the USA. Rent in several Canadian cities is out of reach of even average incomes

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    Heather Atwood
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The biggest issue IMHO with homelessness in the US is that the people who are actually looking for help and want to live productive lives get lumped in with the rest who are panhandling at every corner, pooling their money, having a meth party, pass out, get up and leave their trash and needles behind. I have both had a homeless sister in the d**g group and have also volunteered with a local group who drives around a van with food and toiletries, blankets, coats, gloves etc nightly to give out to homeless folks. As per usual, a few bad apples, spoil the bunch.

    Becky Samuel
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Addicts are not 'bad apples' they're human beings.

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    Kylie
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Upvote for Ryan Gosling.

    TheGoodBoi
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When you're at step 3 of the process...

    Solidhog
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me when I see the homeless person has newer trainers and neater haircut than me.

    StrangeOne
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Shelters have clothing and shoes for the homeless, and some hairdressers and dentists do volunteer work to give the homeless free haircuts and dental cleanings to help them have a chance at getting a job.

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    #4

    Wtf Life Jokes

    Wtf Life Jokes Report

    Jack Burton
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have seen this one a lot but still funny as hell. The kid looked so happy and how bad is this fake MJ

    Corvus
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Young Michael Myers, before he became famous :P

    Kris
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Its the girl from the ring

    Prince Lee
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i have met impersonators, some on their way home at grocery stores, I always act as if it's really them, the number of times they have told me that "THAT" is what they want, someone to get the feeling of meeting that person and see that joy, Iv always ended up buy their stuff~ just to let them know i appreciate that art, I have a ton of "mock" photos~ my fave being Elvis at a supermarket, i need up getting the store to sing with him for a few mins, and it just was wonderful~

    TheGoodBoi
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mitchell Jackson

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    #5

    Wtf Life Jokes

    Wtf Life Jokes Report

    Jack Burton
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I take my showers after my shift at hospital, this is the basic hospital soap, raw as f**k. My wife use some expensive organic multi oil soap. I am smoother 😅😅

    Papa
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your skin is smoother because that soap works like sandpaper.

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    Otto Katz
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm a woman, I haven't used any kind of soap on my face in at least 3 months. My skin is the burger on the right.

    Featherytoad
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm doing the same thing. I don't wear makeup though. I just use a wet baby wash cloth in the shower to wipe off any old moisturizer, and I started chemically exfoliating once a week. My face doesn't look like the burger bun on the right though, lol. Maybe it will later on.

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    Corvus
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    From a biological perspective, men's skin truly isn't like women's.

    Upstaged75
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why is is also that men can lose 20 pounds by just drinking one less beer a week? While women have to change their entire diet and take up kickboxing 6 days a week to get the same results? (Yes, this is hyperbole)

    Data1001
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For a lot of men, 20 lbs is water weight -- easy to drop -- because it's a much smaller percentage of our total weight. Men dropping 50 lbs is probably closer to a woman dropping 20 lbs.

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    WhatEvenIsLife
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You may be using too many products. I read an article recently that said you should only have one "heavy hitter" in your routine, like retinol or tretinoin, and to just keep everything else simple. If you've got a 12-step skincare routine you're probably overdoing it.

    Na Schi
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Completely agree. Additionally I also read in an medical post (probably now 15 years back now) that the skin take several weeks (if not month) to fully respond to the "recently" chosen skincare-product! So using several and even switching when there's no immediate improvement is more than likely contraproductive. I myself never have bothered much, washing my face only when showering (if I haven't hard gardening stains on it) and solely use Niveau (but also only after showering). My skin is soft, no dimples etc. I am going to keep that routine and safe myself a whole lot of money 😉

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    Tyranamar Seuss
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I see a lot of crappy men's skin. I think women with good skincare usually have the smooth burger bun. Men who do good skincare routines also have really lovely skin. I see a lot of that just soap skin that looks pretty haggard. And most men need a lot more lotion than they're putting on too. I'm talking hands and arms here. Y'all are not impervious to dry skin.

    Chihuahua Mama
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A key factor that's missing here is hormones. Menstrual cycles have a lot of hormonal fluctuations, which in turn can affect the skin, regardless of skin care routine

    amy harvey
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I give a salute to people with pimples, I barely have any.

    Androgyny Lunacy
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Many men: look more attractive as they age, barely any lifestyle changes Many women: get all wrinkly, need botox and an extreme workout to look appealing to men. Eeek.

    Mimi M
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sometimes it's about overdoing it.

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    #6

    Wtf Life Jokes

    Wtf Life Jokes Report

    Jack Burton
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well... i'm no Henry Cavill but it worked for me, one time. It was 22 years ago and still running

    Penguin Panda Pop
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Congrats! Proof that we can all be superman to some other superperson.

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    xolitaire
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can we petition for him to start streaming? I'd watch this man peacefully paint his warhammer models for hours

    Kylie
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm happy to watch him do anything LOL Can't wait to see him as a daddy.

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    Rafael
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Might work on some dudes as well, even straight ones. Or so I heard.

    Penguin Panda Pop
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wouldn't be in to seeing his junk but, man, what I wouldn't give to be held in those arms. I'd even stare into those eyes. My wife loves him (in a not-real-but-enjoy-the-fantasy way) ,and honestly, I get it. Zero jealousy from me, just compliments on her good taste.

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    Bols
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Henry Cavill, I like you, would you go out with me?"

    Kylie
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well hello there gorgeous.

    Karri Berkowitz
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He wouldn't even have to ask to take me out. I would already be stalking him.

    Valek Fermiga
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Chris Hemsworth also offers the same advice, as does David Tennant, Tom Hiddleston, Hugh Jackman....

    Rod
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Henry, I challenge you, 2000 point, I play Khorne.

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    #7

    Wtf Life Jokes

    Wtf Life Jokes Report

    Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My!
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Grandma Moses was in her 80's when she took up painting. Don't give up.

    flower petals
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For a lot of things in life, as long as you’re alive, it’s not too late. 🤍

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    Elaine Van Zon
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband is 57 and just got his first novel published. He only started writing 2 years ago. Never too late

    Karen Krause
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Julia Child. Her first cookbook was published when she was 39; she made her television debut in The French Chef at age 51. Martha Stewart. Stewart had worked on Wall Street and owned a Connecticut catering firm, but her real success came after age 41 with the publication of her first book, Entertaining, and the launch of Martha Stewart Living seven years later. Joy Behr. Known today as a former co-host on The View, Behar was a high school English teacher who didn’t launch her show business career until after age 40. Colonel Sanders. Sanders was “a failure who got fired from a dozen jobs before starting his restaurant, and then failed at that when he went out of business and found himself broke at the age of 65,” according to one account. But then things worked out when he sold the first Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise in 1952. Just to name a few.

    Justin Tyme
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And both of them were college dropouts. So quit school.

    Der Kommissar
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jobs was 30 when he was fired by Apple. He was eventually rehired and made the company the powerhouse it is today.

    Rebecca McManus
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They forgot to mention the parents money

    amy harvey
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry, I gave too many ups.

    ZuriLovesYou
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Colonel Sanders was in his 60s when he founded KFC. Never give up.

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    #8

    Wtf Life Jokes

    Wtf Life Jokes Report

    Jack Burton
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have great great memories from event before the smartphone era. Never understood why people think they have to record something cool to live

    respulero
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i dornt have a good memory, but i just make 2-3 photos and maybe a short video. Thats sufficient to bring back all the memories. Recording everything or just too much is a nosense, you dont enjoy live and you will never watch those long s****y videos

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    ggus44
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Pic of the food you are about to eat" too.

    Multa Nocte
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Truly. In almost every case if I had wanted to see that event I would have GONE to that event.

    Charles McChristy
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Those terribly shot concert videos were getting out of hand for a while. I remember trying to find a song and would find 10 crappy videos instead.

    Darth Kittius
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't mind if other people do it, unless their phones are blocking the view. Then I care but in the wrong way

    Beachbum
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dmn this is so true. Who the hell wants to watch a recorded fireworks video, or a conert? I will tell you not one fkn person! I went to a Korn concert and people were recording it, jsut why? Enjoy the the momment for once in your life.

    Flopsy
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Then Covid hits and you look at your phone and wonder why there are not more videos of random stuff to enjoy!

    waarimelone
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Indeed. Unless you're lugging a studio-quality recording/filming setup in and hanging from the ceiling like Spider-Man to record that concert, your recording likely won't be able to match the quality of an official recording.

    Joanne Earle
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well I'm glad I captured the holiday light show on Hogwarts at Universal Orlando, as well as the Durmstrang and Beauxbatons show.

    TheGoodBoi
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Add a pet at a concert, with fireworks in the back ground. Might be talking then.

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    #9

    Wtf Life Jokes

    Wtf Life Jokes Report

    BROmanicus85
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I may be going to hell for laughing too hard at this one! :))

    Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My!
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Two cats and their woefully inadequate soft can-opener will accompany you.

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    She who must not be named
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm an idiot, I sat here for a little while reading the comments, trying to figure out what on earth a parachute company was. (I thought it was some terminology I hadn't heard of for a kind of pyramid scheme or something.) Took me a good few minutes to realise they mean a company that makes parachutes 🤦🏻‍♀️ and then I understood the joke 🙈🤣 In my defense, it's late and I'm tired and pregnant so I can blame baby brain right? 😅

    martin734
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I actually own a parachute that I have never used. I fly gliders for a hobby and our national club rules require us to wear parachutes while flying. I get it inspected and repacked regularly but I won't know if it actually works until my life depends on it working.

    Kylie
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This, sadly, is oh so true. If you ever need it, I hope it does.

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    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I understand 1* reviews - I've left a couple myself. What bugs me is people leaving poor reviews, not because they found fault with the product, but for delivery errors or some other indirect problem.

    lex (they/them)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ...I should not have laughed at this for 5 minutes straight

    Endishere
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    POV: If you always fails at the first attempt, for Pete sake, to be a paratropper is not your choice of career.

    Kelli Tilley
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG🤣🤣 OKAY so I looked up what a parachute company is, expecting some meaning OTHER than a company that makes parachutes. (You know, like an umbrella corporation ..except not exactly. That is kind of what I was expecting.) I snort-laughed out loud and then, just as everyone stopped staring and went back to what they were doing, i looked at freaking Homelander's psycho little smile and now I have to leave. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

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    #10

    Wtf Life Jokes

    Wtf Life Jokes Report

    Jack Burton
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd say choose carefully the stuff you say to people.

    Ms. Mack
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And choose carefully the people you say the stuff to.

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    Trophy Husband
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My wife gave me a shirt that says "my wife says I have two faults, I don't listen, and something else."

    TheGoodBoi
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Please tell me rule 2! I can keep a secret!

    Steve Robert
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There are also three things that happen when you get older: 1) You start to lose your memory; 2) your body starts to hurt in places you didn't think you had; 3) I forgot this one.

    xolitaire
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This kind of hurts my brain to read. Shouldn't it say "anything" instead or am I high?

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They are not telling you everything, which is why they are not telling you rule 2. Yes it's not that funny

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    Mary Peace
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There are two kinds of people. 1.Those who can extrapolate data.

    Celtic Pirate Queen
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    AND - not telling you something is not hiding or being deceitful, it most probably means 1) it doesn't affect you or 2) it's none of your f*cking business.

    Androgyny Lunacy
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And for most people *never tell them anything lol

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    #11

    Wtf Life Jokes

    Wtf Life Jokes Report

    Rafael
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Our CPU time is limited, turning the volume down reduces load and frees processing power to parse our surroundings.

    Heather Atwood
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    THANK YOU!!! My kids constantly make fun of me for this and I always tell them that I need more bandwidth for important tasks ;)

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    Andrew Read
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It actually allows you to concentrate better.

    2DB
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It allows *me* to concentrate better, anyway. Specifically, I become less likely to hear a song I like too much to interrupt by actually parking...

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    David
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This joke gets tossed around a lot these days but dumb joke aside, you should always turn down your audio when in an occupied parking lot. Not so you can "see better". So you can hear the person yelling or honking that you can't see.

    Upstaged75
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My brain can only handle so much incoming stimuli at one time. :)

    Prince Lee
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    used to laugh at my mom for this, and then she asked why I take my hearing out to think harder.....I will never recover from that burn mom.....

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sometimes music is just what we need to get into whatever mood we desire, and other times it's cruelly distracting. And we are an easily distracted species that Pushes when the sign says Pull.

    TheGoodBoi
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My wife doesn't understand this lol. She always turns it back up so I have to turn it off lmao.

    Mary G
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's a thing related to brain sections and how they process information, and how they share resources.

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    #12

    Wtf Life Jokes

    Wtf Life Jokes Report

    Kylie
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Finding out it wasn't a girl.

    Landithy
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The number of times I've done this, only to find out that it was just Anthony Mackie with poorly photoshopped hair. Which is weird because I'm not even a dude.

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    Ronstantin
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can't decide what's worse: a stranger following me keeping a certain distance or a stranger getting closer. I guess both are creepy, only differently.

    Jack Burton
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Going back from party at night, i cannot walk right behind a woman, but sometimes she walks faster cause she hears someone behind. S**t is going like a drunk race

    james stevenson
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, being a dude can be a bad thing sometimes

    Black Cat
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep, but it's 'dudes' who have made it that way. Women would love to be able to trust men.

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    StrangeOne
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A friend told me she karate kicked a guy who ran past her one night. She said that guy apologized and said he should've known better than run up behind a woman. I don't think that's really how it went. She's actually an ex-friend. But, yeah. I guess men have to be careful. Lots of dangerous women out there XD.

    justanotherweirdo
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can we just appreciate the hair they put on the guy on the right? Just makes it so much funnier!

    Nikole
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mackie looks like Andre 3000 from “Hey Ya”.

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    Guess Undheit
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or, you could walk into the nearest store and waste five minutes until she's gone.

    Szzone
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is me, this meme, it's me.

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    #13

    Wtf Life Jokes

    Wtf Life Jokes Report

    TotallyNOTAFox
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And that's why the "stop" button is one of the most important inventions

    Tiny Dancer
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Had the opposite happen just today. Had a plan in my head that involved getting off the bus three stops after my usual home stop. Automatically pushed the button for my stop. No one else getting off, so I just went with it instead of embarrassing myself. I'm 59 years old, for Pete's sake.

    Bols
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NGL, happened to me once :D

    Sue User
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was on a bus so crowded that i knew i did want to push through to get off. I just rode the bus to end of the line.

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I move to a new town/city with mass transit, I'll ride all around for hours just checking out the area.

    Mary G
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And I wonder if the Pacific is as blue as it is in my imagination...

    amy harvey
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's me when I forget to say stop and it's too late.

    OneHappyPuppy
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ooh boy totally happened to me once

    Phoebe Bean
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Another One Rides the Bus with Weird Al Yankovic comes to mind.

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    #14

    Wtf Life Jokes

    Wtf Life Jokes Report

    Ottawa
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had read my horoscope in a satire magazine once. It said I would lose my job... I had in fact just lost my job 🤷🏻‍♀️

    DetriMentaL
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Conspiracy theory #53: publicized horoscopes are sponsored by the national lottery because those lucky numbers are sketchy asf

    CanadianDimes
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "'Today will be a day like every other day.' It just gets worse and worse!" (Bonus points if you read it in Homer's voice)

    54 s
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Blatantly generic horoscopes are my absolute favorite! Some times, if you read the ones for the other signs, you get repeats. I guess they figure people only read their own.

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do people who believe in Astrology understand that 3000 yo ago it was based on the position of constellations in relation to the calendar, and how, due to the Earth's axial rotation, astrological signs no longer line up with the zodiac? https://www.inaoep.mx/~frosales/html/zodiac/index.html

    Ovata Acronicta
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Things are just not going to go the way you want them today, but it's a good thing."

    Ovata Acronicta
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Go, have fun. https://perchance.org/horoscope-random

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    Brenda
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love reading YESTERDAY'S horoscope to see what kind of day i had! 😆

    Margaret H
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I read my horoscope one morning. It said, "It is time to rid yourself of excess baggage and to get rid of the rubbish holding you back." It sounds like reasonable advice - until you know it was the morning of my husband's funeral.

    Valek Fermiga
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Who caught Denzel Washington by surprise....

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    #15

    Wtf Life Jokes

    Wtf Life Jokes Report

    Jakobi
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Haha I got out of bed just before this

    Bonesko
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I didn't. The other lazy person caved. I win! 😴

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    Prince Lee
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    excuse you! I am a lazy person SITTING ON A COUCH!

    hockeygorl
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    HAHAHA i’m actually on the couch :b

    That Person
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Staring at each other to get the other one to turn off the lights

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    #16

    Wtf Life Jokes

    Wtf Life Jokes Report

    Sue
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought something was morally wrong with me when I was a child.

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    Zedrapazia
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jerry is an àsshole who lives in someone else's house, steals their food and threatens Tom's livelihood as the humans will kick him out if he doesn't catch the mouse. Jerry also starts trouble by pestering him in his sleep. I've always been on Tom's side and celebrated whenever Jetty lost

    Delenn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You know that you have become an adult when you realize this.

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    me myself and i (she/her)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I read about a theory online that says maybe Tom and jerry were friends and had to pretend not to be—otherwise Tom’s owner would get a new cat who would try to kill jerry for real.

    Alicia M
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always supported Tom, Sylvester and WildE Coyote. I wanted Sylvester to eat that annoying Tweety bird so bad. 🤣

    Deson
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In one famous episode the Coyote did manage to catch the Road Runner. Not exactly the highest quality but here goes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJJW7EF5aVk

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    Michael Wilmer
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Was Tom named after the British slang for their soldiers (Tommys) and Jerry named after the slang term for Germans? Just a thought 🤔 😁

    Jules
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Always Tom, never that *rsehole Jerry

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    #17

    Wtf Life Jokes

    Wtf Life Jokes Report

    Ovata Acronicta
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I usually use a private browser for stupid searches. Not even obscene ones, just stupid ones. I am boring. (edit: on the other hand, when I've been looking at textures of skin of intimate areas to replicate it while modeling digitally, I don't bother using a private search. Who cares. Balls.)

    veryvenasaur
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i write a lot of fantasy so I'm thinking the fbi is probably already tracking my computer with how much I google things like "effects of sword wounds" or "where would you stab to incapacitate someone quickly." or "is piercing or slashing a more effective use for a sword." like I swear government I'm not plotting a medieval themed murder I just want to make sure no one calls my fight scenes medically inacurrate.

    Sinnsyk Jakte
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wish I could show y'all a screenshot of mine where I doubted myself on how to spell 'weird.' Went a little like 'weird or wierd,' followed by 'weird or wierd okay thanks doubted myself the whole berenstein/stain thing did a number on me,' followed by 'weird or wierd okay thanks doubted myself the whole berenstein/stain thing did a number on me okay you can go f**k yourself for correcting me'... 'Cause Google tried to correct 'Berenstein'. And I wanted those to whom it may concern to know from my search history exactly everything they needed and I wanted them to know. Unpack that at your own pace, 'cause I know it's a lot.

    Rae Rory
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    90% of my google searches are me checking the spelling/definition of a word.

    Prince Lee
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    reminds me of when I looked up "Bare naked ladies" My brother found that on the computer ran into where my mom and I were and yelled at her "LEO IS LOOKING UP, BARE NAKED LADIES"... I and my mom look at each other and laugh, I had just at that moment been showing my mom the music from "chicken little " called "one lil slip" Who was made by the band "Bare Naked ladies"

    Simon T
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My search history is empty because I used to think it saved storage but now it’s just a habit

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've been clearing my Activity and History since the late 90's. Back then, some people thought this improved speed, so I just developed a daily habit despite now knowing better. And I delete every thing off my phone - emails, texts, calls - they're all empty. Wish my kitchen was this tidy.

    Jack Burton
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Naaah i am pretty sure people could never guess what the hell i was on

    Kat
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband is really smart; technology is one of his "things." So he does all the pc maintenance for our family and friends. Your "empty search" won't save you. He knows things.

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    #18

    The Wtf Guy

    The Wtf Guy Report

    Bob Jones
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If a god who cares exists then why is the plane shaking in the first place??? Why do humans have to beg their God to try to get her to do good things?

    Ace
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And why would anyone suggest that god must have been looking after me when I survived a horrendous accident with life-changing injuries but didn't die? I seriously once had a doctor ask me if this hadn't made me believe in god. WTF? If he was working to keep me alive wouldn't he have done better to just, you know, stop the accident happening in the first place?

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    DadManBlues
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A better text for the meme would be "Religion as it leaves my body when I visit the paediatric oncology ward for the first time".

    CanadianDimes
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I looked into the stats behind plane crashes and turbulence once - the odds of a plane crashing because of turbulence are vanishingly small. 95% of crashes happen on take off or landing, and the larger the plane, the harder it is for it to be damaged by turbulence. Turbulence never worried me much before, and knowing the facts about it keeps the atheism firmly in my body.

    Tiny Dancer
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do me a favour, eh? Do NOT Google Singapore Airlines right now! You'll sleep better if you don't.

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    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't confuse faith, or lack there of, with an ancient biological survival reaction. I'm not intellectually fearful of death, but my physical being fights it tooth and nail. My physical reaction to death ranges from adrenaline rush exuberance to primal terror (racing cars vs nearly falling off a building). BTW death is easy, it's the dying part most of us want to skip.

    Melissa Buddin
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It breaks my heart when I read comments like these. Those of you who feel like this have missed the whole point of Christianity.

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What is heartbreaking is all the "Christians" who miss the whole point of Christianity. You might start with them.

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    Guess Undheit
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fictions told by fanatical christofascists to make themselves feel superior. I've been through multiple 7.0+ earthquakes this year plus many other things in my life (e.g. attempts by criminals to kill me) and never once leaned on the worthless crutch of religious cultism.

    Solidhog
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am the opposite. I am the one shouting out "WHERE'S YOUR GOD NOW?"

    Andi
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    in tmes of fear you will hear us atheist calling on God - you know why? because that is a phrase and notion from the culture we were brought up in and sometimes when you are out of control you call to some one 'higher' And you know what, all that clearly shows is that that need for hope is the reason man invented God in the first place.

    Zoe Belen
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nah, I didn't do that. Only religious people think we change our minds like that.

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    #19

    Wtf Life Jokes

    Wtf Life Jokes Report

    Jack Burton
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When you remember how year 2000 looks like the future...

    LuckyL
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is something wrong with the math - it can't be 20. Has to be 3 or something like this.

    Kylie
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They'll be 20 in 2024. Leap year every 4 years so 20/4 = 5

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    james stevenson
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No, what? No, it hasn't been 20 years. Nononononononononononono, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo............

    Carla Phillips
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My daughter was born in 2004. I feel so old

    Darth Kittius
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just turned 20 this month. It simultaneously feels weird as heck but also like nothing has changed

    Rachel
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a guest joke hat they were here for his wife’s fourteenth birthday that day.

    TheGoodBoi
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kids born in 1990 looking at this: 😫😭

    Nikole
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kids born in 1980 looking at you……….

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    RiceRiceBaby 929
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dad had his 16th birthday this year

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    #20

    Wtf Life Jokes

    Wtf Life Jokes Report

    ShellsBells
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I learned the other day that even though my watch has its own phone number, you can't call it. It has a message about the network being busy. This is now my go to number.

    Sami-Jo Ross
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Give them your real number. Let them dial it. Block them.

    Giraffy Window
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nope. Stand there and silently stare. A much better, more intimidating interaction.

    Robert Beveridge
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Back in the good old days, I used to give people the number of Ingram Book Distributors, because it was stuck in my head for YEARS. (I stopped working for bookstores in 1992. I was still tossing it out to people into the 21st century.)

    Angela C
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Oh, my bad! That was my old number! Had to change it after I gave it to someone who turned out to be a real weirdo!" And then walk away

    BroJustWantsToSLAY
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    one time somebody asked for my phone number and I gave them a fake one cause I couldn't remember my own

    Mary Peace
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Years ago I bought a sofa in a 2nd hand shop and had to go to the desk to give my details and arrange delivery. My landline number was unusual so the clerk queried it. I said it was correct, but she picked up the phone and dialled it. Then she looked surprised because it was ringing. I said, "You won't get any reply because I'm here."

    The Rogue Adventurers.
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or just tell them you're not interested rather than wasting both of your times

    Dominik Eppler
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    just use the number from the nearest funeral home, it always is worth it

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    #21

    Wtf Life Jokes

    Wtf Life Jokes Report

    Ovata Acronicta
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I got so buff when caring for my grandma.

    Toggaph de Dratersi
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I ask not for a lighter burden but for stronger shoulders."

    Laura
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was wondering the same, don't understand why you were downvoted.. I had to Google it and the urban dictionary says A" word used when you agree with something" so maybe it's that..

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    Lene
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am weight training on a daily basis by carrying my kids. Lol. The lightest "weight" is 13kgs and the heaviest is ca. 25kg. 💪

    Prince Lee
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    same, I have weak bones so its hard for me to get muscle, but I'm trying for my sick aunt

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    #22

    Wtf Life Jokes

    Wtf Life Jokes Report

    SBocker78
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hate that I hear Skeletor's voice when I read these.

    iBlank
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    unless it's the new Skeletor... Mark Hamill :D

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    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used the term Skeletor as a mild insult for years before knowing about this guy.

    Ronstantin
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think the joke is, that a mirror once it's manufactured instantly starts to "work", so you'll never get the first reflection – in this sense it could be called "used".

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    #23

    Wtf Life Jokes

    Wtf Life Jokes Report

    LuckyL
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought: everybody in a restaurant kitchen

    Lene
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Haha! Back in the 70s and 80s (I think) there was a cooking show in Denmark called TV-køkkenet (the TV kitchen) and I still sometimes think about that thing they said that turned into a catch-phrase: plenty of butter (rigeligt med smør). And then they used pretty much as much butter as that guy on the pic is holding. There must be a Danish meme with the two chefs from TV-køkkenet. I just haven't found it yet.

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Retro photo of backstage getting ready for the Paula Deen show.

    Paul Gerrard
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They burn the steak then dump fat on top. Its like painting over crash damage on a car

    Mimi M
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me when eating pancakes. And don't even ask about the syrup - pure maple, natch, and lots of it.

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    #24

    Wtf Life Jokes

    Wtf Life Jokes Report

    Nonna_SoF
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    With 100 mill I can send my mom on a dream vacation.

    Zedrapazia
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It shouldn't be hard to make mother smile with so much money available

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    Jack Burton
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would sell my mom for 100 millions dollars. She is 75 she would totally agree.

    Isabel Galvez
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    See the smile in my mum's face when I tell I got 100 mill

    Prince Lee
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    my mom passed May 22, 2023.... today is May 23, 2024, and yesterday was hard on me.....I would give my life so that she could have 5 mins to come back and smile {she passed from kidney failure and cancer... I was with her at the moment she passed}

    Ozymandias73
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Take blue pill. Quit job. Spend more time with mom to make her smile more. Fixed it. ; )

    _-DungeonKeeper-_
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel bad for laughing--WAIT, NO I DONT!

    Birb
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can't make my mom smile anymore, because she died on 19 june 2022

    Irrational Gardener
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Take the blue and, I promise, you WILL see your mom smile!

    Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My!
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom would want to meet the TV judges. She's a bit naive. She thinks reality TV is.

    Rigor Moreno
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    With 100M, I could send my Mom to meet Oprah and Ellen... And still there's enough money left for a dream vacation, a cooking set, a dream kitchen, whatever she wants, etc... :D

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    #25

    Wtf Life Jokes

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    keyboardtek
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It usually ends up being one of those skinny wires with the wimpy connectors that can get knocked off easily has come loose.

    sleepybear
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i find amusement in opening a blank google doc and starting to clean my keyboard. bjwbkwjjjjWBKJJJ8899----...;;ewnkkkkl

    Trophy Husband
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I got my first computer in 1993. It ran das 6.2, and Windows 3.1. well, my first Windows computer, I had some older ones that I don't really count. I learned how it worked mostly by deleting things and then having to restore from backup desks that the computer thankfully came with. Computers don't come with backup disks anymore.

    BitchinintheBurgh'
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It was the junk that was keeping it going....

    Giraffy Window
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    After a while the dirt replaces the wires I guess

    TotallyNOTAFox
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The best part is the relief when you find out that there's just a loose power connection plug on the mainboard

    Highball
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mine has a mind of it's own.

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Over the years, I've managed to go from being hysterical to just pacing anxiously when my computer malfunctions.

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    #26

    Wtf Life Jokes

    Wtf Life Jokes Report

    Penguin Panda Pop
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ahem, my shirt does not see Dwayne Johnson. It sees someone in significantly worse shape and much paler. Not all of my hair has left my head yet, so I guess thats a win for me (I realise that The Rock looks great bald - I will not).

    Scooty Puffs
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This hit hard since I look like the Walmart version of The Rock.

    Maartje
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do not look like this. I will see myself out now.

    Say No to Downvoting
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My pants, however, see 5-chinned Ursula rising out of the ocean.

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    #27

    Wtf Life Jokes

    Wtf Life Jokes Report

    sleepybear
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i relate to this too much, sadly.

    bas moelard
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Look at it this way: You enjoy doing this. You like to create a social media story and carefully pick the music that fits. Why wouldn't that be a nice thing to you?

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    Leesa DeAndrea
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And people like me who find your chosen music annoying & just mute it.

    james stevenson
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me: Choreographing epic hero and villain entrances and the ensuing battle in my head along to some kick-a*s tunes, (i.e. born to be wild, shoot to thrill, 'righteous hand of god' song, etc.)

    #28

    Wtf Life Jokes

    Wtf Life Jokes Report

    Dreaming Spirit
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Completely offtopic, but this model's face reminds me of classical sculptures.

    Connie Martin
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    First, get off the damn counter, dude

    Myrna Traylor
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I will always upvote The Bear 🐻

    Maartje
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG I remember this. Only I was not sitting down, I was the only one on the line trying to deal with a busy busy lunch at a Helmsley Hotel. That custom order made me want to walk off the job.

    Androgyny Lunacy
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And they call it in when it is almost time to close the kitchen and the chef makes it as dry and just edible enough in hopes that they'll never come back and order that late again. Knowing that the restaurant will be closed so they can't call and complain, and by morning they'll likely forget or just think it isn't really worth it unless they're really poor which if they were chances are they wouldn't be ordering from a restaurant anyway. The end

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Somehow I became the head chef in a restaurant at age 17. This turned out to be my chief motivation to do well in college.

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