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Nobody would like to end up on the wrong side of the court hearing (or any side at all), because your life belongs solely to the decision of a judge and the work of your lawyer. But what if your lawyer is nothing like Saul Goodman and more like a babbling schoolgirl?
Despite the seriousness, courtroom drama, and everything that happens in it, this place also produces hilarious (unintentional) comedy. Charles M. Sevilla has compiled some of the funniest exchanges from justice halls between defendants and plaintiffs, lawyers and witnesses, juries and judges, and released a book of court records called “Disorder in the Court”.
From witnesses taking questions literally to lawyers formulating paradoxes instead of problems, these funny court cases really happened, and they’re just too good not to face the judgment of the internet. Scroll down to enjoy this priceless list of funny court transcripts, and vote for your favorite entries!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
Pandola 8 years ago
this is a genius attorney...we need more people like him...
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Corinna Allmark 6 years ago
i First saw this at a tiling warehouse on the notice board, I couldn't stop laughing.......it was so funny, I loved it so much because it has a whole list of real transcripts that were hilarious.....so they ripped it off and gave it to me.......I treasure it so much....I still have it today and its been years now and I still laugh at it.
RELATED:
#2
LAWYER: Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man-- WITNESS: Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment.
#3
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
Nausicaa Alkistis 8 years ago
Unless the attorney knows things about the witness. *creepy background music*
What is a Case That Became Famous for Its Epic Moments in the Courtroom?
When discussing court cases that have gripped the public’s imagination with unexpected twists and turns, the 2022 defamation trial between Amber Heard and Johnny Depp undoubtedly tops the list.
This legal battle between two high-profile celebrities was an authentic courtroom drama that turned into a cultural phenomenon, blending funny courtroom testimonies and surreal moments.
The case, revolving around allegations and counter-allegations of abuse, was filled with court quotes that sounded almost too crazy to be true.
#4
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
fubukifangirl 8 years ago
These days, that's a perfectly valid question due to all the SJW who get offended if you assume their gender.
L.a. Williams 3 years ago
Yep pretty sure you need a new lawyer. Also someone please inform the lawyer that we are born either as a girl or a boy.
#5
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess.
Miro DeFolie 8 years ago
daddy payed for his school, had friends in the court and all the money to get him started (and he's on the start from 20 years)
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Markus McCloud 8 years ago
I'd probably add "wild f*****g" to that statement ("Take a wild f*****g guess.")
Aélia Potter 3 years ago
Could have been her old rich uncle’s death.. she moved into his house in a faraway country, inheriting the money, and left hum there…
Vlad Horobet 8 years ago
Well, if the other person killed someone and went to jail for life, the marriage it's pretty much over.
Hester Goldberg 8 years ago
whahahahaaaa 🤔 Though it could have been the death of a salesman...
#6
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.
Kytriya Luebeck 7 years ago
The reason why some "stupid" questions are actually said is to establish facts that we all know so that in the other attorney can't use some "unique questioning" to establish a "lie" as actual "fact" or take key elements out of context to push a "lie" as "fact" that is not fact if you knew the entire story in context.
What Colors Are Best to Wear to Court?
While navigating through the funny things said in court, we couldn’t help but wonder what one should do to make a good impression in front of the judges.
Your outfit is undoubtedly something to keep in mind, so we took the liberty of researching the best colors to wear when you’re in the courtroom spotlight, and here’s what we found.
- Navy blue and dark gray: These colors are top choices for a reason. They convey professionalism, reliability, and respect. Navy blue, in particular, is often associated with trustworthiness and calmness, qualities you’d definitely want to project in a court setting.
- Light blue and soft greens: If you’re aiming for a more approachable and calm demeanor, consider softer shades like light blue or green. These colors can suggest that you’re peaceful and cooperative, potentially putting the courtroom at ease.
- Black and white: Black is a classic choice, symbolizing formality and seriousness. However, it can sometimes be seen as overly somber or harsh, so balancing it with a white shirt or blouse can soften the look.
- Neutral tones: Beige, cream, and other neutral tones are safe choices that convey a sense of simplicity and honesty.
- Avoid bright colors: Among the many things “Modern Family” series taught us is that flashy and bright clothes might be too distracting and inappropriate when under judgment. You want the focus to be on your words and actions, not your fashion statement.
Remember, it’s not just about the color but the overall appearance. Well-fitted, conservative attire generally works best in a court setting. The key is to appear respectful and composed, and your choice of color plays a significant role in this.
RELATED: Lawyer Posts Hilarious Legal Tips Based On Things That Actually Happened During His 19 Year Practice
#7
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
Innox Innox 8 years ago
yeah, so don't forget to set the alarm before you go to sleep in case you die in the process.
Hester Goldberg 8 years ago
Sharp azza knife thistime.. Could this be the same attorney / witness in all quotes?
#8
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
Lady_Of_The_Roses 7 years ago
Yeah.. I mean there are women with beards. Its just not common.
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Alice Ayres 5 years ago
I don't think that cross dressing is rare enough to qualify for the circus. You can just stop in any downtown bar.
#9
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
Nicklas Linder 8 years ago
Plot twist: The doctor did it with the scalpel in the autopsy room!
Load More Replies... Hester Goldberg 8 years ago
ATTORNEY: And do you recall the time you finished your examination?
#10
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral…
Jamal W 8 years ago
Bwahahahaha if I was in this court room I would have been escorted out due to excessive laughter xD
Jenifer Markoe 8 years ago
No these days you would be arrested for laughing to loud. In fact the whole court room would be with you.
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Hypoxia Smurf 3 years ago
Certain federal judges are proud to have attended Oral Roberts' Uni. So close...
#11
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 8 years ago
Maybe the picture was TAKEN, as in stolen? I know, I'm reaching here, but ... could be
Jon Sy 8 years ago
Then the question should be "Were you aware of your picture being taken?"
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Patrick Bateman 8 years ago
"No. Miraculously, I was able to simultaneously be in the picture and in another state."
Jack Linkster 8 years ago
Well maybe he was speculating the photo was edited. But well that's some stupid way to ask it LOL
Jenifer Markoe 8 years ago
The picture could be of other people but the person could still be on the sidelines and saw the picture taken. However this was not a good way to ask the question.
#12
LAWYER: When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station? OTHER LAWYER: Objection. That question should be taken out and shot.
Dante Dauz 8 years ago
The Michael Bay guide to asking questions: keep quick cutting, over and over again, making one mashed mess, until the witness asks, "What the frack just happened?"
#13
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid
Wyndmere 8 years ago
I think he means that " we need to educate the lawyers on the facts of life".
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Sebastian Ghiuri 4 years ago
I read this first time in my native language, and response of witness was translate as: "Try to guess what?"
#14
LAWYER: What happened then? WITNESS: He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.' LAWYER: Did he kill you? WITNESS: No.
#15
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
#16
LAWYER: Was that the same nose you broke as a child? WITNESS: I only have one, you know.
#17
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan!
#18
LAWYER: Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like? WITNESS: No. He was wearing a mask. LAWYER: What was he wearing under the mask? WITNESS: Er...his face.
Benny Lava 8 years ago
Yeah! He could have stapled Hugh Jackman's face on his own face under that mask! It does happen you know...
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L.a. Williams 3 years ago
I seriously hope none of the people who made the list decided to have childre. We really don't need any more stupid people added to the population.
#19
LAWYER: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing? WITNESS: Yes. LAWYER: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car? WITNESS: Yes, sir. LAWYER: What did she say? WITNESS: 'What disco am I at?'
#20
LAWYER: Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods? WITNESS: No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.
g90814 8 years ago
I'm a lumberjack And I'm OK I sleep all night and I work all day
Load More Replies... Markus McCloud 8 years ago
Okay, this may just be me, but does "in the woods" sound like a euphemism for the groin? ("That woman kicked me right in the woods.")
#21
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
Marie-Louise Chenois 8 years ago
I'm studying law, from fellows (and myself) i can tell you that you can even be worse
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Greg Hoggarth 8 years ago
Firstly, a quick Google shows this disease is about skeletal muscle weakness, and symptoms don't include memory loss. Secondly the intent behind his question isn't stupid, it's just poorly worded. What he wanted to know, is the type of memory disorder the person has. Perhaps they have bad short term memory, or they can't remember specific things, like what they had for breakfast, but they can remember important / significant events, like a car crash they witnessed etc.
Katy Bechníková 7 years ago
My grandpa once forgot, where he lives, but he remembered that he forgot it.
ioana adriana 8 years ago
in a way the question is legit..you can remember later somethig you forgot,maybe..or someone help you remember..hummm
Sue Clasen 8 years ago
He could answer "If I could remember how to laugh, that's what I would do right now,"
Steffie Non 8 years ago
Uhm.... MG doesn't affect memory at all? It affects muscles. He must have forgotten....
Christina Waide 8 years ago
The witness could remember once forgetting where they lived, etc. Or where they put their keys. It's not a dumb question.
HarriMissesScotland 3 years ago
My best friend has MG and she is a smartass. This attorney would not have a chance with her.
#22
LAWYER: Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial? WITNESS: The victim lived.
#23
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
Shauday Smith 8 years ago
BAH! you commented three minutes ago! i was gonna say this! Well done, sir!
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#24
LAWYER: You say that the stairs went down to the basement? WITNESS: Yes. LAWYER: And these stairs, did they go up also?
Andres Francia de Araujo 8 years ago
No, i´m sure the damn stairs dissapears after someone goes down
Vlad Horobet 8 years ago
I don't get it. The question is legit. Maybe the stairs started from the ground level and there is also a floor beside the basement. SO yes, the stairs could go up also.
ioana adriana 8 years ago
nope,one way only :))))) they didnt have enough money for a 2 way stairs
#25
LAWYER: Are you married? WITNESS: No, I'm divorced. LAWYER: And what did your husband do before you divorced him? WITNESS: A lot of things I didn't know about.
Marty BlackEagle-Carl 6 years ago
good answer, good answer.... top ten answers on the board, survey says
#26
LAWYER: What is your brother-in-law's name? WITNESS: Borofkin. LAWYER: What's his first name? WITNESS: I can't remember. LAWYER: He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name? WITNESS: No. I tell you, I'm too excited. (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name!
Gregory Mead 3 years ago
Not only can I see that happening in court, I can see MYSELF saying that in court.
Usernameofgag 8 years ago
His brother name is Nathan Borofkin... look at the end of convo.
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#27
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years.
เจ้าต้น คนไม่เต็มบาท 8 years ago
I once helped an amnesiac eldery woman who got lost, tried to deliver her to her family thus I asked "How many children do you have?" "It's 5" "Which one is taking care of you?" "The 7th" Now it's me who got lost Ps. She was safely delivered to her family in the end.
Bruce Whealton 5 years ago
I almost feel guilty laughing at someone who might be elderly and confused. Glad I am not cracking up in front of the person.
#28
LAWYER: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?
Vlad Horobet 8 years ago
That's a pretty TIGHT question. I wonder if the attorney is CLOSE ENOUGH to find the answer.
Flower Waheed 8 years ago
*shouting* SOMEONE PLEASE GET THIS LAWYER A DICTIONARY AND A TEACHER!!
#29
LAWYER: Were you acquainted with the deceased? WITNESS: Yes sir. LAWYER: Before or after he died?
Gerri Hancock 8 years ago
Call Ghost Adventures! We've got a "live" one here!
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Nickie LaRue 8 years ago
"Well, I didn't meet him until after his death, when Whoopi Goldberg and Jennifer Love Hewitt stopped by to 'chat'.." Welp, just reread this, realized how incredibly dated my references are... I've gotten sooooo old.... 👵
sharath chandra 3 years ago
Witness was a certified medium and clairvoyant expert and had the ability to talk with ghosts.
#30
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
Meowoui 8 years ago
Didn't know I had to be qualified to pee in a cup, I better go get a certificate.
Don Pe 8 years ago
A "must" in your next applivation. HR loves certificates! :)
Load More Replies... Dante Dauz 8 years ago
Is that a skill I can add to my resume'? Typing, multi-tasking, urine sampler
Bruce Whealton 5 years ago
It reminds me of an episode of "Three's Company" where Jack comes to a police station on a bike and appears to have been drinking. The police officer asks, "can you fill this?" Holding up a cup. Jack answers "not from here."
Faisal A. Rashed 1 year ago
After my potty training, my mother did provide me a certificate. But I misplaced it.
L.a. Williams 3 years ago
I want to know where I get the certificate. Like DMV, my doctor.? Anyone?
Cindy VanLerberg 4 years ago
Beginning to think that my ex could have been a lawyer instead of a criminal, what with the IQ requirements thereof
Vicki FSmith 5 years ago
I've seen this without the witness' answer- it's funny enough without it LOL
#31
LAWYER: Did he pick the dog up by the ears? WITNESS: No. LAWYER: What was he doing with the dog's ears? WITNESS: Picking them up in the air. LAWYER: Where was the dog at this time? WITNESS: Attached to the ears.
Cathy Scriven-Williams 8 years ago
I think he meant he was holding the dog's (floppy) ears up, but not lifting the dog up.
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Jo Johannsen 8 years ago
well, it is possible his feet never left the ground... the DOG's feet
Bruce Whealton 5 years ago
This isn't so great. Picking up a dog's ears and picking up a dog by the ears are different; the latter is only possible with a very small dog.
Maggie Collins 8 years ago
Yes it was, he was just picking up the dog's ears, not the dog. Get it? LOL
#32
LAWYER: You were there until the time you left, is that true?
Maike Weidner 8 years ago
this is... just so senseless...do they get paid by the amount words they are using?
Patricie Sh. 8 years ago
I think the lawyer is asking if the witness went to toilet, to have a cigarette or so, so s/he could miss something...
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Bruce Whealton 5 years ago
I wonder how the witness responded. I would have a hard time not laughing, if I was asked this.
Ildiko Okido 8 years ago
That was supposed to be my answer to Maike Weidner, sorry. 😳
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Hamlets twin 8 years ago
Part of the job is establishing facts. So this is weird in casual conversation but not in court.
#33
LAWYER: Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York? WITNESS: I refuse to answer that question. LAWYER: Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago? WITNESS: I refuse to answer that question. LAWYER: Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami? WITNESS: No.
Pi... 8 years ago
This is ok. The lawyer was probably trying to imply something that the witness clearly was defiant about. But that doesn't mean he/she "did the deed" even if they spent the night together.
L.a. Williams 3 years ago
I have actually seen a lawyer ask the same question about 10 times in different ways.
#34
LAWYER: Have you lived in this town all your life? WITNESS: Not yet.
white widow 8 years ago
well... this was just playing smart... it is a legitimate question, as in, have you lived here since you were born? i don't find it as funny as the others.
Mark Hollenstein 8 years ago
Um, it's not the question that's funny it's this answer .
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Bruce Whealton 5 years ago
I cracked up when I read this. I read it like an honest response that was silly.
#36
LAWYER: Were you alone or by yourself?
Sarah Hall 4 years ago
And the night goes by so very slow, and I hope that it won't end though, Alone, by myself
#37
LAWYER: And what did he do then? WITNESS: He came home, and next morning he was dead. LAWYER: So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?
L.a. Williams 3 years ago
Second time on list some one died in their sleep and woke up in the morning.
Sarah Hall 4 years ago
Yes, he told me he was dead, he didn't have any reason to lie, so I believed him. Anyway, he's been mostly dead ever since. I think he washed the dishes like twice 🤣
#38
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year.
Adriana E. Henricy 8 years ago
Also, isnt this from Hot Fuzz? the movie directed by Edgar Wright with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost? second in the Cornetto trilogy? where Pegg asks this kid (at a bar) when was his birth-day, and he answers this.
Miki Bercowski 7 years ago
It was used there but I've seen it elsewhere prior to the movie bein made.
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Pat 8 years ago
Does your birthday change the date every year. So your BD was June 21 last year & June 22 this year.
Load More Replies... #39
LAWYER: Could you see him from where you were standing? WITNESS: I could see his head. LAWYER: And where was his head? WITNESS: Just above his shoulders.
Kirk Mckeever 3 years ago
It was so accurate, that it took me a second----no beer, tragically......
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Ms. Human Being 3 years ago
I’m gonna take it literally for the sake of my sanity
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#40
LAWYER: (realizing he was on the verge of asking a stupid question) Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question.
#41
LAWYER: Can you tell us what was stolen from your house? WITNESS: There was a rifle that belonged to my father that was stolen from the hall closet. LAWYER: Can you identify the rifle? WITNESS: Yes. There was something written on the side of it. LAWYER: And what did the writing say? WITNESS: 'Winchester'!
Jose Baeyens 8 years ago
his grandfather, named Chester, got it from his great grand uncle to encourage him : Win Chester !
Katrina “Katch” Rocketman 1 year ago
This is probably funnier if you know anything about guns.
Valentino (they/it/he/xe) 3 years ago
A winchester rifle? That's f****n awesome. The whole thing about the Winchesters (mansion, rifle, etc) is super cool and one of my favorite things to research
Sharan Ulle 8 years ago
But the gun was called as Colt and it was destroyed by lucifer himself!
#42
LAWYER: Do you have any children or anything of that kind?
Shauday Smith 8 years ago
do you have any children or elderly or any other humans in any state of development?
#43
LAWYER: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you? WITNESS: I went to Europe, sir. LAWYER: And you took your new wife?
#44
LAWYER: Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was under the influence? WITNESS: Because he was argumentary, and he couldn't pronunciate his words.
L.a. Williams 3 years ago
Apparently the officer needs to look up what word he wants to use. Or needs a field sobriety test.
Marty BlackEagle-Carl 6 years ago
he could of been mentally challenged.. mad and stutters.... mad and not a English speaker
#45
LAWYER: Did you blow your horn or anything? WITNESS: After the accident? LAWYER: Before the accident. WITNESS: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.
#46
LAWYER: You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?
maryhadalittlelamb 8 years ago
Actually this might be valid. Witness might have heard/smelt/touched it.
Jilltdcatlady 8 years ago
It was this tall(gesture). This wide(gesture). And the color of that guy's tie sitting in the back.
#47
LAWYER: And you check your radar unit frequently? Officer: Yes, I do. LAWYER: And was your radar unit functioning correctly at the time you had the plaintiff on radar? Officer: Yes, it was malfunctioning correctly.
Bruce Whealton 5 years ago
It's hard to know if this was an unconscious slip of the tongue that reveals the fact that it wasn't working or if it was an honest mistake. Reasonable doubt exists, either way.
#48
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
Jilltdcatlady 8 years ago
If you take out all the words I don't know. Then that's my answer. ;)
#49
LAWYER: Do you drink when you're on duty? WITNESS: I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk.
#50
LAWYER: So you were gone until you returned?
William Jennings 6 years ago
This is why I love the USA Constitution and Laws since it provides ways to solve unsolvable problems. Here is a story that can help to explain why a system of laws works so well. It's because in Law everything presented has to be interpreted as Literal even when literal would sound absurd. A man worked in a place where certain items were prohibited, but he didn't need to have those things inside that work place. He only needed them when walking from his car to the work place and then from the work place back to his car. One evening after he had to use it when going back to his car from work. He told his inquisitive boss that an invisible fairy flew down and handed it to him while he was walking outside on his way to his car. The answer had to work since the law is the law exactly as written.
Between things lawyers say and hilarious testimonies, we hope you got some genuine laughs from this! Now, it’s your turn to weigh in—drop a comment with your favorite moments from the list and upvote the ones that tickled your funny bone the most.
What do you think ?
Mark Smallman 8 years ago
Personally while some might be slightly doctored I can imagine these sorts of questions being asked.Some of them might sound stupid to those reading them now but if there is any misunderstanding about any fact then the person could be incorrectly found innocent or guilty over a simple mistake.
Dida Vasic 7 years ago
When I was on court (divorcing) judge asked me "Can you tell me from the beginning, when all started?" My answer was "About 14 billion years ago, there was a big bang."
Petra Nikolic 8 years ago
you have to ask these stupid questions because then the person cant say 'BUT i didnt SAY it was that and that" so you have to make them say things like this just so they get written that they were spoken by the witness
Daniel Losinger 8 years ago
“Recorded To Be Said In Court” I thought their job was to record things that were already said in court.
Dee Me 8 years ago
.....That Court Reporters Have Ever Recorded To Be Said In Court......said is past tense, so its already been done and was recorded. It'd be different if it was "Recorded to SAY in court"....say being a present or future tense depending on the word before it; ie will say, to say.
Load More Replies... Lance d'Boyle 8 years ago
I have an inkling that these exchanges have been doctored. While there are no doubt distracted and even stupid lawyers out there asking inane questions, the repeated snarky responses is too much. It's like 'set up, set up, punch line' each time. Funny maybe but not real.
Aunt Messy 8 years ago
Coroners testify in court a lot. Some of them more than once in a week. If they're experienced, they've heard a lot of epically stupid questions. I know I'd be tempted to take the smartass route if someone asked me something as stupid as "would he wake up dead".
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Panda watcher 2 years ago
Some of these have been circulating for 30+ years….sadly, I see several have been altered in attempt to make funnier… too bad bc the originals were better.
Marcus Lynch 2 years ago
I have to hope that most of these are made up. Otherwise the percentage of wrongfully convicted people must be astronomical!
William Jennings 6 years ago
Absurd Answers that only work in court: This is what I love about the Constitution and Laws of USA. I want to keep it that way since I'm aware of how it works and know how to use it. Here is a story. It's fiction as far as I know since it just came to me a few years ago. There was a man who was employed in a building that prohibited the possession of certain items while inside the building. He did not ever need to have one inside the building anyway, but he did need it when walking from his car to the building and then walking back to the car from the building since the sidewalks beyond his work place required having them for personal safety. One evening after dark he was on the sidewalk a few blocks away from the workplace while walking back to his car. He had to use the item. His boss at work heard about it and became inquisitive. He said that a fairy flies down and takes it when going in and gives it back when going out. It was none of the boss's business anyway.
Mark Smallman 8 years ago
Personally while some might be slightly doctored I can imagine these sorts of questions being asked.Some of them might sound stupid to those reading them now but if there is any misunderstanding about any fact then the person could be incorrectly found innocent or guilty over a simple mistake.
Dida Vasic 7 years ago
When I was on court (divorcing) judge asked me "Can you tell me from the beginning, when all started?" My answer was "About 14 billion years ago, there was a big bang."
Petra Nikolic 8 years ago
you have to ask these stupid questions because then the person cant say 'BUT i didnt SAY it was that and that" so you have to make them say things like this just so they get written that they were spoken by the witness
Daniel Losinger 8 years ago
“Recorded To Be Said In Court” I thought their job was to record things that were already said in court.
Dee Me 8 years ago
.....That Court Reporters Have Ever Recorded To Be Said In Court......said is past tense, so its already been done and was recorded. It'd be different if it was "Recorded to SAY in court"....say being a present or future tense depending on the word before it; ie will say, to say.
Load More Replies... Lance d'Boyle 8 years ago
I have an inkling that these exchanges have been doctored. While there are no doubt distracted and even stupid lawyers out there asking inane questions, the repeated snarky responses is too much. It's like 'set up, set up, punch line' each time. Funny maybe but not real.
Aunt Messy 8 years ago
Coroners testify in court a lot. Some of them more than once in a week. If they're experienced, they've heard a lot of epically stupid questions. I know I'd be tempted to take the smartass route if someone asked me something as stupid as "would he wake up dead".
Load More Replies... Panda watcher 2 years ago
Some of these have been circulating for 30+ years….sadly, I see several have been altered in attempt to make funnier… too bad bc the originals were better.
Marcus Lynch 2 years ago
I have to hope that most of these are made up. Otherwise the percentage of wrongfully convicted people must be astronomical!
William Jennings 6 years ago
Absurd Answers that only work in court: This is what I love about the Constitution and Laws of USA. I want to keep it that way since I'm aware of how it works and know how to use it. Here is a story. It's fiction as far as I know since it just came to me a few years ago. There was a man who was employed in a building that prohibited the possession of certain items while inside the building. He did not ever need to have one inside the building anyway, but he did need it when walking from his car to the building and then walking back to the car from the building since the sidewalks beyond his work place required having them for personal safety. One evening after dark he was on the sidewalk a few blocks away from the workplace while walking back to his car. He had to use the item. His boss at work heard about it and became inquisitive. He said that a fairy flies down and takes it when going in and gives it back when going out. It was none of the boss's business anyway.
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