What Your Shoes Really Say About You According To This Shoe Salesman Who Got Bored At Work

I'm dying! My favourite

He knows too much

It's actually pretty true.

I know a simeon this is accurate

I can literally picture him.

I would like to meet Simeon. He seems like a promise of a very fun and exciting weekend.

sexy shoes :P

Omg, that last sentence is hilarious if you think about her character!

Must be a southern thing, I called my father 'daddy' till the day he died 3 years ago, I was 24 at the time. No shame and I don't see the problem.

Tall, slim, long dark hair, stocking cap, long-sleeved figure-hugging white sweater. Skinny jeans tucked into the tops of the boots.

you forgot about her starbucks addiction.

Yes. Has long, dark hair. Wears long-sleeved turtleneck sweaters and bottoms with the hem always tucked into those boots. Might also wear a stocking cap.

But the golden retriever IS family. All dogs are family to their people. ❤❤❤

I can easily picture this one !

oww so cute!!

I think I know him!

and have a small dog call Bubbles, yoga on Fridays

Omg this is definitely my sister xD

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Seems to me she might have bought better shoes.

My husband wears a black version of these.; looks like I'll have to keep the ice cream hidden when we become grandparents. He does like a good dad-joke though.

im also seeing socks in those sandles

THIS IS MY DAD 100%, he has two pairs of this, he let me have ice-cream while mom went to bed, tells dad jokes, and his name is john o_O

I had to double take on this one. I reading Fishing with a "T" instead of an "H"...

omg i see her

I picture Frankie from Grace and Frankie!

She's probably has a plant or two tucked among her flowers. The drug helicopter circles my house every year .

I would buy these.

excuse me, what is DDR?

When from Northern Europe, it's simply hilarious that she likes DDR!!!

Which mom would let her eight-year old buy these :) and they are not children's sizes. I'm thinking someone with piercings and tats and spiky dyed hair :)

This guy is so creative :D I can imagine Lauren SO well!

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An alcoholic in 3-inch heels.

and makes good chocolate chip cookies :P

Aunt Messy

Aunt Messy

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If you meet her, run. Run like the wind. She'll never shut up about how superior her life is with all of the running around she does to avoid being alone with her thoughts, frightened that she'll hear the ocean in her head and nothing else. She sincerely believes that no one should EVER just spend time reading a book or painting, so she'll be on the phone morning until night, texting you about her "wonderful" experiences cleaning monkey cages and having sexual fantasies about her pastor.

This sounds like my nana

I'd be friends with her

IDK, a 60 year old in wedges?

I think I might've met this guy before...

There's no such thing as an ex-Marine.

ex marine wearing nike with orange laces?

This shoe turns me on.

also got 7 exs i dunno why i think that '-'

That shoe looks painful...

Ooo I like these shoes, I wonder what that means for me....