“AITA For Telling My Friend That Her ‘Free’ Wedding Is Unrealistic?”

We’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again: Weddings can be stupid expensive. But that average $35k price tag is one that many people are willing to pay. But what if we told you that you could host your entire big day without spending a cent? You might call BS, and we don’t blame you.

One bride is adamant she can do it, much to the surprise of her friends. The woman’s elaborate plan involves having her guests do everything from the food to the flowers, the party favors, the photography, and even supplying a venue.

One of the friends feels it’s nothing more than a glorified “group project” and has slammed the bride for her unrealistic expectations. Needless to say, it’s not gone down well.

Planning a wedding takes a lot of time, money, and effort

Bride walking in elaborate wedding dress outdoors with guests capturing the moment on phones during wedding ceremony.

Image credits: Omelnickiy (not the actual photo)

One bride believes she can pull it off without spending a cent, all at the expense of her guests

Text excerpt about a bride planning an elaborate wedding without spending a cent and facing a reality check.

Bride planning elaborate wedding without spending a cent faces unexpected reality check and challenges in event preparation.

Bride plans elaborate wedding without spending a cent, faces reality check on costs and expectations for the ceremony.

Bride plans an elaborate wedding without spending money, relying on friends, family, and donated outdoor space.

Text excerpt discussing the challenges a bride faces when planning an elaborate wedding without spending money.

Text excerpt discussing a bride’s plan to throw an elaborate wedding without spending money and facing a reality check.

Text excerpt about a bride shifting wedding costs onto others, highlighting a reality check on spending.

Bride thinks she can throw elaborate wedding without spending money struggles with detailed cake requests and baking skills.

Three women discussing wedding plans in a modern kitchen, capturing a bride getting a reality check about elaborate weddings.

Image credits: bnenin (not the actual photo)

Bride thinks she can throw an elaborate wedding without spending a cent but faces a harsh reality check.

Bride thinks she can throw elaborate wedding without spending a cent but faces a reality check from friends and family.

Bride expecting elaborate wedding without spending a cent faces reality check about true costs and effort involved in planning.

Bride faces reality check after trying to plan an elaborate wedding without spending any money.

Text message stating sorry and not to worry about the cake, highlighting bride’s reality check on elaborate wedding costs.

Bride faces reality check after attempting to plan an elaborate wedding without spending any money.

Bride thinks she can throw an elaborate wedding without spending a cent, facing a harsh reality check in planning.

Bride reacts with uncertainty during an elaborate wedding planning, facing a reality check about spending expectations.

Image credits: bnenin

The friend provided some more info when prompted by netizens

Reddit comments discussing a bride’s reality check when trying to throw an elaborate wedding without spending money.

Reddit user discusses bride who tries to throw elaborate wedding without spending a cent and faces a reality check.

Reddit conversation discussing a bride’s plan for an elaborate wedding without spending money and others’ reactions.

Bride expecting an elaborate wedding without spending money gets a reality check from friends declining costly favors.

Screenshot of a wedding forum discussion about a bride’s unrealistic expectations for an elaborate wedding without spending money.

Screenshot of an online discussion about a bride planning an elaborate wedding without spending money, receiving mixed opinions.

Screenshot of a Reddit discussion about a bride attempting an elaborate wedding without spending a cent and facing reality.

Want a French champagne wedding on a beer budget? Read this first…

Some weddings scream luxury, while others reek of cheap and tacky. But it has less to do with what you spend and more to do with the experience you create for your guests. At least that’s according to one wedding planning expert.

Laura Ritchie is a luxury wedding planner with more than 15 years of experience in the industry. She’s also one of the principal designers at Washington D.C.-based Grit & Grace.

“Many people would say that the monetary side of a wedding would define it as being luxury,” Ritchie told Business Insider. “What I consider luxury is the experience and the thoughtfulness and the personalization that sets an event apart.”

Ritchie believes that it’s possible to pull off luxury, even on a tight budget. The key lies in the details.

One of the things the expert warns against is something that’s become quite common these days: digital invites. According to Richie, paper is the way to go. It can help set the tone for your wedding and set it apart from any other ordinary events in your life.

“It’s not like we live in an era where you’re getting a dinner invitation via paper,” she says. “Everything is virtual.”

The expert adds that a paper invitation is also more thoughtful than a simple digital/email invite. It shows guests that you’ve put in the time and effort to have them present at your wedding.

If you’re thinking of asking your friends to make your party favors or decor, or doing it yourself, “don’t,” warns Ritchie.

While homemade things can help cut costs, they don’t typically translate into a luxurious look for your wedding day, she says. “Things that look cheap are things that are generic,” Ritchie explains. “Though you might have saved money, it looks cheap because it is cheap,” she added.

Ritchie’s advice is to rather rent decor from professionals “who can curate and create something much better and well thought-out.”

Elaborate wedding table setting with pink napkins, floral centerpieces, and elegant glassware in a bright venue.

Image credits: Kefuoe Josenta (not the actual photo)

“More people always equals more money and more problems, like Biggie Smalls said”

Because the guest experience should be high on your priority list for your wedding, Ritchie advises inviting fewer people than anticipated.

“If you are more budget-conscious, we encourage you to get your head count down to must-haves,” she told Business Insider. “More people always equals more money and more problems, like Biggie Smalls said.”

Cutting a guest list can feel near-impossible for couples with large families or lots of friends. But having fewer guests is one of the best ways to cut costs. “It doesn’t really matter if you’re just doing a barbecue buffet or if you’re doing a plated meal; if you have more guests, that line item is exponentially multiplied by those guests,” Ritchie explains.

And on the subject of food, the expert wants you to know that buffets don’t scream luxury. They’re less thoughtful and can have “cafeteria vibes,” she says.

“You’ve asked everyone to come in their finest attire to your special day, and then you want them to go through a line with a plate for mashed potatoes and strips of steak,” Ritchie explains. “They just don’t really go hand in hand.”

And while you might think buffets help to keep costs down, the wedding planner says this isn’t necessarily the case. Ritchie warns that buffets can sometimes work out more expensive than a plated meal.

There’s a time and place for a buffet, she says. And your wedding isn’t it.

“On your wedding day, being a little bit more thoughtful about the experience and the scope of what’s happening is really important,” she adds. “A buffet gets messy and disgusting within minutes of it being touched. So visually, it’s also unappealing.”

Lastly, if you’re looking to trim your wedding budget, consider spending less on flowers. Instead of repurposing the  bridesmaids’ bouquets into reception centerpieces, as has become trendy in recent years, consider this:

Save money on flowers by not having bouquets for your bridesmaids at all.

“Have them walk down the aisle with the groomsmen if you’re really strapped for cash,” suggests the expert.

Beach wedding ceremony with elaborate floral decorations and guests seated, illustrating a bride’s wedding planning reality check.

Image credits: Asad Photo Maldives (not the actual photo)

“Friends do not equal free labor”: many agreed that the bride was being unreasonable

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a bride getting a reality check about planning an elaborate wedding without spending a cent.

Text message screenshot showing a comment about a bride wanting an elaborate wedding without spending money.

Text from a social media comment discussing a bride who thinks she can throw an elaborate wedding without spending money.

Bride thinks she can throw elaborate wedding without spending a cent faces reality check on costs and labor involved.

Comment discussing a bride who thinks she can throw an elaborate wedding without spending a cent and faces a reality check.

Bride thinks she can throw elaborate wedding without spending a cent, faces reality check on costs and logistics.

Screenshot of a forum comment discussing a bride’s unrealistic expectation to throw an elaborate wedding without spending money.

Comment expressing that bride expecting free labor for elaborate wedding faces a reality check about costs and friendships.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a bride planning an elaborate wedding without spending any money.

User comment from a wedding florist arguing against a bride trying to throw an elaborate wedding without spending money.

A few netizens felt the friend should have shut her mouth

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a bride’s unrealistic expectations for an elaborate wedding without spending money.

Comment discussing a bride’s plan for an elaborate wedding without spending money receives criticism online.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a bride’s unrealistic plan for an elaborate wedding without spending money.

Comment discussing realistic expectations and costs for a bride thinking she can throw an elaborate wedding without spending a cent

Comment from a user sharing experience with potluck weddings after bride thinks she can throw elaborate wedding without spending a cent.

Comment discussing inability to make an elaborate cake for a bride planning a wedding without spending money.

Some people shared their own similar “free wedding” experiences

Bride thinks she can throw elaborate wedding without spending a cent, faces reality with budget and planning challenges.

Bride thinks she can throw elaborate wedding without spending a cent but friends end up catering and cleaning up

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