Writer Asked Former Poor Kids To Share The Things Their Non-Poor Friends Didn’t Appreciate Growing Up, 30 Deliver
When growing up, kids don’t think too much about their appearances, the things they own, or how much money their parents make. All they need is to be surrounded by healthy and loving family members who would care for them. But the truth is, things change the moment people start comparing their family’s status and income to their friends.
Writer and publicist Victoria Barrett asked her followers on Twitter: "Former poor kids: what are some things you have in your house that you *never* had as a kid, things your not-poor friends would never consider luxuries?" The question brought up some difficult memories and a deluge of tweets from people who grew up in poor households.
Whether it’s fresh fruit, shoes, or toilets, the thread revealed that things people often take for granted were seen as comforts by children who grew up impoverished. Bored Panda has selected some of the most illuminating answers, so check them out below and be sure to share your thoughts in the comments.
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Getting whatever you want is such a lovely luxury! I’m paycheck to pay heck, but when I can afford some ice cream or a treat it makes me so happy
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I raised thee boys alone and know this feeling all to well...I don't struggle as much now that the boys are adults but occasionally I STILL cry tears of gratitude when I put simple things like Katsup or cheese in my cart.
Maybe one day I can achieve that. Buying everything I need from a grocery store. Especially FRESH, not canned, dry or musty. And being able to pay for it without worrying how will I survive till next week
Yes. When I was growing up we were upper middle class and my mom would shop at Costco. She would let me get huge things of what ever I wanted. I didn't realize how wonderful this was until I couldn't find the same kind of jobs as an adult despite 3 degrees😔 it's better now but we def cannot get whatever we want and the kids feel it.
Fun fact! Our parents are the only generation that had it better than their parents AND better than their children. Let's never forget that subset generation called The Me Generation. They got there's, end of story.
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It was such a huge thing when I started making enough money that I wasn't doing maths all through the grocery store, figuring out what I could afford and what we would have to do without. I hated it for my kids' sakes, but I really think it's made them more appreciative adults.
It was my goal in life when I was younger to be able to buy groceries AND pay bills....
I agree...but it's gone in reverse for me! I grew up with more of the luxury, now I go to the food bank and the grocery store is a distant loving memory!
That feeling when you had to remove half your stuff because the prices went up. But nothing hurt me more than the time I had just enough to get spaghetti and the spaghetti fell in the sink while straining it. Almost gave up my life that day. Now my net worth is over 700k
I remember having just enough $ to treat myself to a can of soda from the vending machine (50 cents at the time) and knocking it over after taking just 1 sip off of it. I was in my early 20s with child living in a different country and that was the first time in months I'd had 50 cents to spare. I'm comfortably retired now but I felt that sinking feeling reading your story. Glad you're in a much better place now
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I remember my brother and me running to hide because we knew my mom was getting out the food stamps to pay and we were embarrassed. We shouldn't have been. She worked hella hard and raised two kids on her own who are both college grads and productive members of society who give back because we learned through our childhood experiences.
I'm the mom not breathing until the groceries are all rung up. I've already paired the cart down at least twice before getting in line.
I am so sorry you have this struggle. It is so difficult to live with that worry.
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The days of a fridge with just condiments and the sandwich you made at work.
I panic when there is no peanut butter in house. Food security is a big one for me. Leads me to buy more than I should.
Omg me too. My daughter calls me a food hoarder
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My mother carried a clicker device so she knew a fairly accurate total before she checked out. She also clipped & used coupons, and weighed all her produce so she knew the prices. I learned to watch my pennies from her. She grew up in the great depression.
Same. Anytime I can buy enough fresh fruit and snacks and food I didn’t plan for I feel this weight lift. Anytime I don’t have to watch my bank account
I remember the feeling of being able to buy everything I needed and also things I wanted for the first time. It's special.
Not being able to be a girl scout because we couldn't afford the uniform or the fees. Not being able to play the recorder because we couldn't afford the weekly fee. Worried about electric being on, or not having hot water. Not having plenty of food. Never being able to have steak for dinner.
My grocery store store sells it in a large 4.5 lb container, $12 (10 usd) or a box of 3 packets. That's Canada though.
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Before and during the first years of marriage, I/we didn't earn much money. We'd make a list 2x a month, and shop. He would add everything in his head along the way, and was never more than 0.25 off. Forward years, and I vividly remember going through the "expensive" store, throwing whatever I wanted in my cart with no second thoughts. I realized the juxtaposition of being so much happier in the days counting our way thru Aldi, thi king I would be happy when I could buy a lobster if I wanted one. There weren't enough lobsters in that store to make me happy, even though I could have bought whatever and however many things I wanted. I knew I had some life decisions to figure out.
Yes - money doesn't make you happy. You have to find out what makes you happy, and use money to further those goals.
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I still mentally ring myself up while shopping even though these days, I can buy whatever I want at the grocery store. By the time I reached the tills, I roughly know how much the total will be. I don't usually showoff this "skill" but did let slip once in a while especially in some places that waives parking fees if you spend over a certain amount at the store.
Gloves, hat, boots, driving everywhere, (knowing HOW to drive- my mom couldn't. It SUUCKED) FOOD- being able to eat what I want when I want. Heat. Blankets, any and all toiletry items that I want. Clothes in the right sizes.
I completely identify with this one. When I was about 12 or 13, my dad was injured at work and disabled for the rest of his life. The company fought the claim and put us in dire straits financially for several years while they tied the case up in court. To help me understand how difficult things were (and teach me how to budget when money was tight), my mom took me to the grocery store one day, gave me $40 in cash and told me to get groceries - by myself, she stayed in the car - for the 4 of us for a week. This was in the early 80s - so while things were cheaper than they are now, it was still amazingly hard. No sugary cereal, no candy or snacks of any kind - just the bare basics, and things that could be stretched to feed all of us. 1 lb of hamburger, sauce & pasta; 1 whole chicken; 1 package of bologna; 1 loaf of bread; eggs; some canned goods and that was about it. I've been through tough financial times myself and have always recalled that as a good lesson to teach your kids.
I remember my mum going around the supermarket with a calculator to make sure we didn't go over budget. When I turned 14 (and 9 months) and got a job at the supermarket I gave my mum my employee discount.
I remember once having to decide if I wanted clean hair or toilet paper. I washed my hair with dish soap.
Omg. That was my life. The walk of shame and embarrassment out of the store when you didn't have enough money to buy the necessities!
Oh god, I used to do that! For years I used to remove things not in budget. Now I live alone & I can buy but I can't walk now.😔
Still u and ur sister still feel that way,? What r u to still poor,,? My god get jobs ur adults now.Or move to NYC they get so many food stamps here they trade them for money.
Growing up as a late life child we learned about the Great Depression on a daily basis. We cherished our old "antique " furniture and learned that waste was for fools. We recycled everything and accepted hand me downs with dignity. We grew our own vegetables in our small garden. I never realized how hard it was was for my Mom and grandma.
Well they're not wrong. I was able to get food stamps for a very brief period of time and man did I get a lot of amazing pre-prepared salads 😍😍
Sometimes my mom would tell me that I could get whatever I wanted at the store, but then other times if I asked for something like a pack of cookies or bag of goldfish she would scream at me, as if I were supposed to know how much money she had at any given time
Ikr... at least a simple we don't have money for that today would have been better.
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If her mom did this every week she was terrible at making a shopping list, sticking to her budget and most importantly, tallying the grocery total as she ships. Who doesn't do that?
Depends on how much money you have to spend. My mom and I whether we shop together or for ourselves, simply have a list of things we need. No tallying, no budget. Then again, we have simple tastes.. more than half the shopping list is fruit veg and dairy.
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Victoria Barrett’s post quickly went viral by touching the hearts of thousands. People saw it as a truly emotional thread and started sharing their own examples. Many of the things people lacked when growing up resonated deeply with the writer. She started liking so many of the responses, Twitter even labeled her as a bot. "Twitter has decided that I'm clicking the heart on your replies too fast and I must be a bot, so if I don't [heart] your tweet, know that I see you and feel you," she tweeted.
The author of this post revealed that she had experienced childhood poverty herself by writing out some of the things she never had at her house: "A few of mine are Kleenex, band-aids, ziplock bags, and paper towels." In another tweet, she added, "Another one for me is an actual bedroom. With a closet in it. Also a car! That works! And another car that works in the same family!"
During the worst of my family’s years of poverty, we had the same three meals for months on end: big honkin’ pot of pinto beans, big honkin’ pot of white beans, big honkin’ pot of navy beans. Each pot would last our family of seven two or three days, then we’d move on to the next one, again.
For many, this might seem like pretty simple objects that thousands of people couldn’t live a day without. That’s why it’s easy to forget that some things we take for granted or consider to be common additions to our basic human needs are actually items that people below the poverty line might consider the biggest luxuries imaginable.
This thread serves as a good reminder to appreciate the things you have and that not everyone has easy access to them. In fact, Columbia University found that the monthly child poverty rate increased by 4.9 in January 2022 alone, and it’s the highest rate since the end of 2020. This increase in poverty "represents 3.7 million more children in poverty due to the expiration of the monthly Child Tax Credit payments."
When I was a kid we had a wood-burning stove. It was this huge metal box that sat in the kitchen and we had to go once a month to chop wood in the timber to supply us from fall to early spring. First thing in the morning it was so cold until it heated up and even then the upstairs bedrooms had no heat. When it was really cold in the winter I slept under the table in the kitchen in my sleeping bag. We had no A/C in summer, it was open every door/window and turn on the fans.
There's an abundance of scientific evidence that shows poor kids grow up to have a myriad of physical problems as adults. Cornell University researchers conducted a study by following 341 participants over a 15-year period (who were tested at ages 9, 13, 17, and 24) where they reveal that childhood poverty can cause significant psychological damage in adulthood too.
In the study, children who grew up impoverished showed signs of aggression, bullying, and increased feelings of helplessness, compared to kids from middle-income backgrounds. Plus, they experienced more chronic physiological stress and deficits in short-term spatial memory.
"What this means is, if you're born poor, you're on a trajectory to have more of these kinds of psychological problems," Gary Evans, the author of the study and professor of environmental and developmental psychology at Cornell, told Science Daily.
"With poverty, you're exposed to lots of stress. Everybody has stress, but low-income families, low-income children, have a lot more of it," Evans added. "And the parents are also under a lot of stress. So for kids, there is a cumulative risk exposure."
The child psychologist explained that the findings of this study are important since kids who grow up in poverty are likely to stay impoverished as adults — there's a 40 percent chance that a son's income will be the same as his father's. "People walk around with this idea in their head that if you work hard, play by the rules, you can get ahead," he said. "And that's just a myth. It's just not true."
24 hrs of clean running water will do it for me. Just running water out the fawcett everytime I need it.
If you live where mullein grows, we call it "camp flannel" for a reason. The leaves, fresh, are very good TP. Yes, I've done that. Maple tree leaves, too. You can't flush it, but it beats nothing.
Snacks back home were "What is edible, growing, and available?" Thank God I was raised in the country on a farm. FYI, you can make a good snack out of more than you know, but please learn for at least one year, so you can ID plants when they don't have flowers or fruit. Annoying AF that guidebooks don't show those pictures, b/c some edibles you don't want when they've flowered/fruited.
Participants had to perform several tests of short-term spatial memory, helplessness, mental health, and chronic physiological stress. Evans explained that the study has two implications. First, one of the best ways to prevent these problems is early intervention: "If you don't intervene early, it's going to be really difficult and is going to cost a lot to intervene later," he noted.
Then, increasing the incomes in poor households is the most efficient way to minimize a child's exposure to poverty and their risk of developing psychological problems. He mentioned that if a family is poor and has children, the federal government should provide them with extra income that's enough to participate in society.
By the time I entered high school, I was so near-sighted that I had to sit in the front row, and even though our lives had improved considerably by that time, I didn’t get glasses until I bought them for myself at age 19 because I had a ticket to see Artur Rubinstein play in one of his last live performances, when he was 89 years old and nearly blind, and I wanted to SEE as well as hear.
"It's not true you can't do anything about poverty. It's just whether there's the political will, and are people willing to reframe the problem, instead of blaming the person who is poor and — even more preposterous — blaming their children," he said. "This is a societal issue, and if we decide to reallocate resources like we did with the elderly and Social Security, we could change the kind of data this study is showing."
The year I was 11, my parents started their own business and they had a good product, but it turned out to be just a fad rather than the next big thing like they had thought it would be. They had put pretty much everything they had into it and weren’t able to pay the mortgage on the house, which I found out one day near the end of fifth grade (so I was 11. My brother was 10, my sister was 8, the next brother was ~2-1/2 and the baby was shy of six months) when I came home from school and everything we owned was sitting in the living room. We spent the summer in a Bohemian friend’s mountain shack, replete with a hot plate in the “kitchen” (a long, low room about 85 steps up the side of a mountain, with poison oak all over the place, including those steps), a small room where all seven of us slept, and an open pit beside the cabin as our toilet. And there were biting flies.
Actual bedroom with a bed you don't have to share... not even with pets. A bed just for yourself
Where I grew up we needed school uniforms. Everyday, come home from school wash the uniform( Shirt, shorts, socks) for the next day and do that for the whole year. If we were lucky we didn't grow in height and were able to use the same uniform for next year ( had lot of stitched patches on the uniform). Looked ridiculous one year wearing shorter clothes. And we had to be very very careful with the shoes.
It sucks how the system designed to "save you money" only really applies to people who don't need to save it in the first place
Everything OP mentions is in fact a luxury. In my country only for rich people, no way for someone middle class
Note: this post originally had 54 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
I really hate reading these comments. Children going without healthy food, shoeless, cold. It just pisses me off and makes me feel inadequate for some reason, as if I should do more to help.
If you're in the US and you want to do more to help, voting for better social care, higher minimum wage, better child care options, free health care and dental etc. Would be huge. For these people imagine how much not having to pay the money for insurance or copayments would help them. They wouldn't have to make decisions between taking their kid to the doctor or buy food/new clothes.
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And there are people out there that think everyone has access to healthy food to this day. They have no idea how hard people struggle. Even though my mom was a single parent I was so fortunate to have family that helped her. I never went without. I do remember the constant moving though that was not fun. 12 different schools. One I only went to for 3 days.
That must have been tough K Witmer. Changing schools so often leaves you without real friends. Hugs (not one but 2 !)
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My mum used to get flour bags from the baker (they were made of cloth back then) and make bed sheets from them. Funny, I never thought we were poor, we were loved, kept warm and fed.
There's I think a difference between poor - not able to afford sheets and new clothes and poor - going hungry. For me it would be living without heating. I hate the cold but I had a nice childhood and didn't lack a thing. Not rich but not poor. I do remember my mother feeding some neighbourhood kids tho who were poor and hungry. I sometimes watched as she opened my cupboard and gave some of my clothes to these kids.
Load More Replies... For me it really comes down to parents paying attention to my needs. Also regular doctor/dentist visits. I don't think I went to either for about 10 years (from divorce until adulthood). Wearing shoes til they fell apart. There were a couple years I needed glasses but didn't say anything because I decided it would be too much of a burden for mom. That reminds me, being aware of my mom's financial struggles and minimizing my needs to be less of a burden was a thing for me. The new one for me is mental health treatment. That is such a luxury. As a teenager, I had all the signs of depression but no one paying enough attention to help me out, and I didn't know how to help myself.
This one hit hard. I remember going to bed at night as a KID and worrying about bills. Knowing how my asking for something would affect moms stress at having to figure out a way to make it happen. My husband said he asked his parents once how much they made and they said, "none of your business " I couldn't fathom that bc I always knew my mom's budget and that she was robbing peter to pay Paul alot. It's still a joke to this day that I've had about 5 grandfather's die in my life bc of excuses she used to tell the bill collectors. Lol. But she worked her ass off and we never went without our NEEDS. Some of our best Christmases we're when we didn't have much bc we had each other.
Load More Replies... This is going to sound like "Oh, but when I was a child!" But what some who wasn't around back then don't realise, is that poverty then isn't the same as poverty today. The difference is enormous! (From a European aspect.) Today I live under what is considered as the poverty line. But I have food everyday, a roof over my head with my name on the contract, clothes without patches. Things that were mere dream's for some in the 60's and 70's when I grew up. And still is in many parts of the world. Ok we weren't poor, poor. But enough to still use frugal little tricks and stretch money as far as they will go. Something I'm grateful to know. And am happy to share with young friends that are struggling because their parent's never had to learn how and can't pass on.
As an American, I thought I knew what poverty was until I traveled to another country. "America poor" is still rich in many countries. I remember the first trip, I came home and kissed everything I owned!
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I remember having to boil pots of water if I wanted to bathe, and having to carry the pot up the stairs to where the bathroom was. Definitely managed to trip once and poured it all over myself, and ooh those burns.
I grew up lower middlish class, i had clothes and food and the best parents I could ever ask for. Due to stupidity & bad decisions when I was younger I am now a 41 yrs. old homeless male in Detroit mi. And stay most nights in a abandoned house with no electricity, gas or water. The one thing I never thought I would ever even think how bad I miss not having 24/7 access to is a toilet. Just being able to sit down while doing #2. Sorry for being gross but it's life lol
I'm sorry you're going through that. Running water is a huge deal, and I completely understand how rough it is not having that. We lived in a trailer once with no running water, so we (five of us) went to the bathroom in a bucket for around six months until my folks could find a better place. I wish you luck, friend.
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i was always jealous of kids who could afford snacks like fruit snacks, oreos, and chips. we only got home made snacks or fruit. which, as an adult, i miss my mum's cookie and brownies and pies, but as a kid, i had them so often i took it for granted and wanted the packaged stuff.
Hah I would have loved homemade snacks! We had no snacks and my parents both worked LONG hours to give us what we had.
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Wanna cry? Growing up poor on a reservation. No running water, no power, no toilet, walking to school barefoot and sharing a pair of shoes with your sis in the winter. Having to steal from neighbours gardens so you can eat (waiting 3-4 days to eat makes you desperate) sharing 2 shirts, one pair of pants and a handmade jacket with your sis. A father who worked but spent all his check on prostitutes, gambling and beer. Never knowing what ice cream tastes like until your 18. Christmas? Birthdays? Forget it
Ya, no reason to grow up poor on a res. Unless your parents are squandering those checks.
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In my kindergarden was a girl which wore the same outfit nearly every day. I thought it's not special, since characters in cartoons also wore the same clothes every episode. It's not as bad as not enough food, but it still bothers me that i didn't see it back then.
It is amazing how little that sort of thing can matter to a very young child anyway. It is only when they begin to experience more and have more adult influence that children begin to get critical of what they/others are wearing. I love that you related it to cartoon characters though :)
Load More Replies... Nobody said feminine products? That was the thing I had the hardest time with because there's no way to just make anything work you either have pads/tampons or you just don't. When it comes to being a neglected child in poverty the choice between food of any kind and hygiene is not easy if you are ever lucky enough to find money. I would skip school that week so many times I ended up flunking out because I missed too much time. No one ever looked into why was the saddest part.
I was homeless from age 16-18. Feminine products weren't a concern because, and I know this is going to make me sound so bad and the last time I admitted this people attacked me for it. A lot of public places had those 25¢ machines that dispensed pads and they were ridiculously easy to break into, so I did and I took them. Food is harder because it's usually more regulated. and there are cameras in the store, not the bathroom. The school lunch lady did give me an orange for free once but she got written up for it.
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My mom would sit with my brother and I while we ate dinner. She rarely ate with us though. Mom worked a grave yard shift and went to school to become an RT in the early 90's. Not until she was finished with school and got a better paying job did she join us. It did not dawn on us until much later in life, there wasn't enough for all of us to eat so she went with out most nights. I'll never know that struggle because of her. Thank you mom, you're missed everyday.
Same. She would either "not be hungry" or she would eat cold meals because she wouldn't eat until we did. I love that woman.
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Food is such a luxury. I'm not allowed to have wheat or sugar on doctors orders, on top of my own inability to digest meat and a lot of other food. My options are really slim lol
I feel the same- no gluten, lactose, only certain sugars and low cholesterol so finding things that I can eat means buying more expensive things. Slap a gluten free label on a food item and the price automatically goes sky high! I'm trying to cook more from scratch but it can get so hard, especially when I am also exhausted.
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Furniture, not having to use cardboard boxes for 'tables' or having to sleep on the floor, or having a closet for my 'room'. Food for lunch at school. Having a real meal instead of mustard sandwiches for dinner.
Hiding from Rent A Center or places alike. It was always the worst when a friend was over and they come trying to take the couch or whatever.
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wheelchair accessible home, foundation not falling out from under my home, more than one toilet, something other than the cheapest crap food at the grocery store that we somehow make tasty, not having to wake up and look the a**hole that r*ped me in the face every morning. No, wait, that's still a pipe dream
Your first point is a very important one! My family was lucky that my older brother was still a little mobile and could also be lifted by mum and dad where we first lived which only had a shower over a bath. When we moved to my grandparent's old house the bathroom was bigger and my grandad had built it himself, so he was able to build a ramp up into the shower so we could get his shower chair in. About 5 years later we managed to get a grant or something to have the whole bathroom re-done, so the shower was removed and the floor made flat and non-slip, with an adjustable shower head so it was easier for carers to shower him in the chair or use a hoist to get him into the bath. It made daily life so much easier. The rest of it is really something no one should ever have to go through either, and I hope things improve for you.
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Born in 91. Having flooring and toilet paper is really cool. We would collect throwaway clothes from the dumpsters and use as rags to wipe. Also being able to afford cleaning supplies. We also didnt have a plunger so i would hold myself until I got to school where there was toilet paper and flushable toilets.
Here's my cluelessness: I didn't understand why people bought hangers. Why didn't they just use the ones they get with the dry cleaning?
Wow, I would never have thought about that. I don't think I have ever used a dry cleaner in my life!
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Reading this makes me feel like a total jerk, I put money down on books and artsy things yet there are still kids who would metaphorically kill for a banana...
U dont have to feel bad for that, assuming its money you worked hard for and is yours. You're just doing what you should do and what many others wish they could do too. Spending it on stuff that u deem worthwhile. Whats actually bad is spending money on things that you don't actually care about. I wouldn't spend half a penny on coffee, cause i dont drink it (and thankfully dont fall into peer pressure), but i worked hard in my summer job during college to pay almost 2000 on a pc that would help me do all i needed it to do (pretty heavy stuff) and would also last fairly long. But for you it could be the opposite, and u cant live without coffee but cant see urself paying more than 500 for a laptop (hell why even buy it, ur phone is practically a computer itself). So yeah, make ur money and hard work worth it buy make INTENTIONAL and NON REGRETTABLE purchases, at least. Cause other than survival, why else do we work so hard each day if not to use the money the way we wish too.
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So sad to hear of so many children going without for whatever reasons. I often wonder why people (family, neighbors, teachers, clergy) didn't notice or offer to help. It hurts to know that children went without the basic shelter, food and clothing that we consider standard today. I hope that things have gotten better for everyone that posted here and that they are able to understand and/or forgive the situation.
You're assuming that the people who notice have the means to help. I grew up poor (US poor) and our extended family was generally only slightly better off than we were. Our grandparents would watch us quite often (babysitters were expensive even in the late 70s/early 80s, and the only one I remember having was abusive), we got food from local churches, and hand-me-downs from all sorts of places. We have an aunt who let us live with them many times growing up, and never made me feel like a burden, for which I'll be eternally grateful. People did what they could, but they had their own lives, their own kids, to take care of.
Load More Replies... Family time. We were latchkey kids because both my parents worked very long hours to take care of us, some days I didn't see my parents at all. No one got me up for school or met me to walk me home. My brother and I did the chores ourselves were punished if the house wasn't clean and I was expected to make dinner on the weeknights starting at about 10 years old. I did become a chef so I guess there's that. 😅
I know it's not as important as nor having enough food to eat, or electricity foe example, but mine is never having a birthday party growing up and just accepting the fact that every kid you knew did, but your family couldn't afford them. I will be 59 this year and have never had a true birthday party, with invitations and balloons etc. I am so thankful I was able to throw my kids a birthday party every year as they grew up.
I'm so sorry you missed out on that and your kids must have appreciated having the opportunity to have one every year. My dad said he only had maybe two birthday parties growing up and he felt bad attending a few his friends had as he couldn't usually return the experience. When he became an adult he was very socially anxious and hadn't many friend (now he doesn't have any) so his birthday was usually at home with close family. He and mum were able to provide birthday parties for us every year, though we alternated between a small party and more expensive present, and large party and small present. We really appreciated the effort they we to for our birthdays and I think having the limitations we did, made us value our gifts more too.
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I grew up on peanut butter and mac n cheese until my mom divorced my alcoholic dad and got a good factory job, before that she stayed home with us two. I remember being happy as a child, i don't remember feeling denied but my mom let on later how hard she tried to make peanut butter feel festive. Clothes were all from thrift stores but we were lucky to have them!
I didn't realize HOW lucky I was to never experience any of these things. Thank you, mom and dad!
In my mind there is a difference between "poor" and "poverty." *Sometimes* poor equals the outcome of multiple bad decisions rolled into one situation that's tough but livable. Poverty *sometimes* equals simply not having the money or the means to get basic necessities like running water, food, clothing and shelter no matter how hard it long you work.
Respect. I was a second class citizen at a glance because I wore hand-me-downs or worn out/ill fitting clothes. As a kid working odd jobs to get clothes/books that I wanted. Being able to pay all your utilities every month and not having to choose. Not having to count how much you could buy, or automatically separating food-stamp from non-food stamp items. Glasses that we kept repairing for years because we couldn't afford new ones. Walking the thin line of keeping a neat/clean house and "too nice" because welfare would yank out our support if you took any pride in your home. I grew up poor, but not as poor as some, I never went hungry. I learned a lot of self-sufficiency taking care of things while my mom worked (only child, single working mom).
I have been lower middle class most of my life, I wouldn't exactly call myself poor, but there have been times I've been without. Years sleeping on a cot with six to a two bedroom apartment while we looked for a real home, living in the middle of nowhere where our water goes out in the winter and the house is too old for a HVAC system, but, I no longer have to eat hot dogs and mac and cheese all the time, I can afford the Shin black instead of the Maruchan multipacks, and I just got a loan for a high quality bed. (My old cheaper (used) bed, what I've been doing all my life, was causing arthritis at a young age)
Mine would be worrying about the car starting in the mornings...not having a dryer (thank baby Jesus for the washer!)...I saw someone wrote about not being able to care properly for pets....definitely. we had a lot of barn cats that came and went, and it was just up to mother nature if they survived or not.. Broke my heart as a little kid, and I was the only one that cared enough to cry about it. Thankfully we never went without food, even if it lacked variety. A few summers we did go without air - air conditioners were a luxury, even if it was TX.
I remember standing in line for Federal food give aways in the 80's, the famous "Ronald Reagan" cheese. The government apparently had large stocks of food back then that needed to be distributed, and they gave it away to the poor for years. Kind of a precursor to today's food banks.
Surprised that I didn't see social media or cell phones. Us poor kids didn't get a cell phone until well into adulthood. If I needed the internet for homework in high school stay after school or library.
In my day, it was access to reference books. Rich kids has encyclopedias to use for papers, and the rest of us all tried to check out the same books lol.
Load More Replies... I knew my family was poor, but we were on a strict budget and never went hungry. I remember meeting a family when we were staying at our grandparent's caravan who had two kids we played with. They came over to our caravan and were offered a drink. They asked for 'sugar milk'. I had no idea what they were talking about, but my mum said we didn't have that, but did have banana Nesquick which they tried. Afterwards my mum took me aside and explained that their parents must give them milk with a spoon of sugar in it because they couldn't afford to by things like Nesquick. That was the first time I really understood there were levels of poor and we were lucky with what we had. I'm sure the other family was still able to eat, but their choices were more limited than even we had.
We had to wear dresses to school in the 50s and 60s. I had 5. I know it was a luxury for some of the girls. I tried to wear different ones on different days of the previous week. Yellow dress last week on Monday, this week on any other day than Monday. There were girls at school who could wear a different dress for 2 months before they had to repeat. And some who wore the same dress all week.
I'm 47 and still only eat every other day. I can afford to eat 3x daily but old habits die hard I guess
Looking back i can see several things that im so lucky not to have as an adult. Home security, not fearing when you are going to lose your home again. The realization that you dont have to Be Strong all the time; "you can't get things done while you're crying" was an intense feeling growing up. Realizing that my family's elder generation alcohol and drug problems were very likely self medication for stress.
A big thing for me was always checking the door when someone would knock or ring. Do we.have to hide and pretend we're not home because Rent A Center or Aaron's is there to take the TV, or Washer or bed or couch. It was embarrassing when it would happen when friends were over.
Currently waiting for excel to show up any minute... guess my daughter and I will be finding out what it's like to live without power. Not really looking forward to it I can tell you that. Yes the stress of money is enough to break people, it really is. Rich people have no idea what it's like looking into your child's eyes and having to tell them you have no food, power or water for them. It's an awful feeling. Especially when you work your ass off and it's still not enough. What gets me is the fact people are making the Kardashians so rich by watching them on TV. Watching them live their lavish lives with rooms full of food and cars and homes that are so big you could fit my entire extended family and then some in. And what do they do for the people that make them rich? Oh that's right they sell their kids stuff to them cause you know they need more money. Smh
Stability is something I NEVER had as a child growing up in foster care. My parents were arrested for child abuse and I was thrown into the system at 4. I had nothing more than a trash bag with a few belongings to take with me. 12 homes in 5 years many were abusive so even just basic security and care... That's what non poor kids take for granted.
My grandparents had a huge garden; Mammaw canned and froze most of it; Pappaw raised cattle and had one and a hog slaughtered every year and that would go in this big, old sarcophagus of a deep freezer; day-old bread store for 8 loaves at a time to freeze; picked wild blackberries, crabapples, creasy greens; swap for things we didn't grow with neighbors; used ringer washing machine hung clothes out on a line; spring-fed well for water; wood burning stoves and handmade quilts for heat; fans in summer; Mammaw made a few of my clothes on an old fashioned treadle-powered sewing machine; great grandma crocheted me hats, scarves, and ponchos; and where I came from, "lunch meat" was a food group, especially bologna, especially on nights you didn't have time or energy left to cook. Peanuts in Big Red was a treat. A shopping trip to the nearest metropolis of about 15,000 was an adventure. I didn't own a pair of jeans til high school.
Generic food. We never had name brand stuff. Generic soda was a treat, it was mostly generic kool-aid, not even real kool-aid. We'd use bread ends and bread slices as hot dog buns. Baloney sandwiches. Generic Hamburger Helper. Generic sandwich cookies, never Oreos. Fruit Roll Ups were a dream and unattainable. Saltine crackers with cheese slices were our nachos. McDonald's was only for birthdays. Never had parties with school friends. My mom having to choose water getting shut off, or electricity. She'd pay up one, but that meant the other would lapse. It was a dance my mom didn't deserve. But with all that said, my mother always kept us fed to the best of her ability. I love my mom.
I can relate, we went about 6 years with illegal water. My stepdad would reconnect the meter at 8 pm so we could cook, clean and take showers. We would then have to get up around 7 am to fill water bottles, brush our teeth and wash up before school.
Not having food ranks pretty high on my list. Or even being allowed to get the discounted or free lunches at school. You can be too poor for those. They just said no food and that was that. I once had a (short lived) friend who asked why I didn't just have my mom make me a lunch to bring. When I answered that I barely had a mom and no food to bring, she stopped talking to me and became a bully. I even hated my dog for getting half my food when I'd get McDonald's rarely. Stepdad made me share half of everything I got with the dog. Dog got special pet food already. I didn't really mind living in motels or cars or rando peoples houses as much as always being hungry and tired. Now I eat once a day and frequently go 4-6 days without food in a row. I can't even tell when I'm hungry or not. I never eat the last of anything and I don't make or get food if it's just for me. I can sub soda for food and haven't had a drop of water in 4 mo. so far.
All the comments about the kids. Think about that next time you vote in new bills
I'll add this in comparison: i only knew like a couple poor kids in grade school. Myself and many friends had pools in our backyards, families w multiple cars, wore clothes from Marshall Fields, The Limited, etc. My moms parents had multiple homes;.IL, FL and WI. They had a boat, my dad had a boat and snow mobile. I got a brand new.car at 16. All these things people didnt have, basic necessities and food. Im really confused bec where I lived no ones family was like that and we were middle class. This is near west suburbs of Chicago. How old are the folks anwering this? I grew up in 70s and 80s and never wanted for anything. People saying they grew up w o basic stuff just seems peculiar. Even my boyfriend who is 5 yrs older and his parents came from Greece had more than most of these folks..and it was him and then a brother was born here, too. And they werent poor. Maybe Chicago was better off than other places. Thank god it seems.
We were never rich, but I cant say I have seriously been poor. Like we always had roof on our head and always enough food, sure we never traveled or anything like that, but we had the essentials. But I think it took kind of a toll on our father who was the sole money maker while we were still kids, all the medical stuff that both parents have been diagnosed would probably have been diagnosed earlier if they wouldnt have to take care of us. Now when all of us kids have moved away my parents actually have money to buy stuff they need/want for themselves.. focus more on their health etc. Closest of being poor was while I was studying for my bachelors and I didnt want to ask for money from my dad unless it was absolutely necessary, during that time there were weeks when I had only cheap pasta, ketchup was luxury, somehow though we managed to get drunk very often :D so obviously that was more money management issue than actually being poor. But didnt have to take student loan so thats good.
Hot showers, I was in middle school after gym we got to shower in actual hot water and I would stay in the shower as long as I could while the other girls would just pop in and pop out. I thought better enjoy this before the school finds out and shuts off the hot water. Also using hair dryer under blankets to stay warm because the kids bedroom had no heat in New England in winter.
Not sure which of us was poorer but my family does meal planning for the week and tries to get the groceries all in one go. My fiancé's family doesnt so he's abit helpless when i try to get a meal plan together.
Being able to buy nice things just because you like them. Not only art, or pictures and decorations. Forniture. Apliances. Nice good fitting clothes and shoes in colors you like even if those are not 100% practical. Allways having to buy the cheapest thing in the store or in the market is kind of depressing. Nice and expensive things just for looking at them. My parents and family used to go to department stores and supermarkets just for look and wonder about on such pretty variety of every imaginable things we never could even dream to afford. They loved it, and that make them happy, but it just make me sad and depressed... even today, so many things I need and cannot afford... I can't even imagine how must it feel just to buy something nice, new and unpractical just because I like it.
Load More Replies... I really hate reading these comments. Children going without healthy food, shoeless, cold. It just pisses me off and makes me feel inadequate for some reason, as if I should do more to help.
If you're in the US and you want to do more to help, voting for better social care, higher minimum wage, better child care options, free health care and dental etc. Would be huge. For these people imagine how much not having to pay the money for insurance or copayments would help them. They wouldn't have to make decisions between taking their kid to the doctor or buy food/new clothes.
Load More Replies... And there are people out there that think everyone has access to healthy food to this day. They have no idea how hard people struggle. Even though my mom was a single parent I was so fortunate to have family that helped her. I never went without. I do remember the constant moving though that was not fun. 12 different schools. One I only went to for 3 days.
That must have been tough K Witmer. Changing schools so often leaves you without real friends. Hugs (not one but 2 !)
Load More Replies... My mum used to get flour bags from the baker (they were made of cloth back then) and make bed sheets from them. Funny, I never thought we were poor, we were loved, kept warm and fed.
There's I think a difference between poor - not able to afford sheets and new clothes and poor - going hungry. For me it would be living without heating. I hate the cold but I had a nice childhood and didn't lack a thing. Not rich but not poor. I do remember my mother feeding some neighbourhood kids tho who were poor and hungry. I sometimes watched as she opened my cupboard and gave some of my clothes to these kids.
Load More Replies... For me it really comes down to parents paying attention to my needs. Also regular doctor/dentist visits. I don't think I went to either for about 10 years (from divorce until adulthood). Wearing shoes til they fell apart. There were a couple years I needed glasses but didn't say anything because I decided it would be too much of a burden for mom. That reminds me, being aware of my mom's financial struggles and minimizing my needs to be less of a burden was a thing for me. The new one for me is mental health treatment. That is such a luxury. As a teenager, I had all the signs of depression but no one paying enough attention to help me out, and I didn't know how to help myself.
This one hit hard. I remember going to bed at night as a KID and worrying about bills. Knowing how my asking for something would affect moms stress at having to figure out a way to make it happen. My husband said he asked his parents once how much they made and they said, "none of your business " I couldn't fathom that bc I always knew my mom's budget and that she was robbing peter to pay Paul alot. It's still a joke to this day that I've had about 5 grandfather's die in my life bc of excuses she used to tell the bill collectors. Lol. But she worked her ass off and we never went without our NEEDS. Some of our best Christmases we're when we didn't have much bc we had each other.
Load More Replies... This is going to sound like "Oh, but when I was a child!" But what some who wasn't around back then don't realise, is that poverty then isn't the same as poverty today. The difference is enormous! (From a European aspect.) Today I live under what is considered as the poverty line. But I have food everyday, a roof over my head with my name on the contract, clothes without patches. Things that were mere dream's for some in the 60's and 70's when I grew up. And still is in many parts of the world. Ok we weren't poor, poor. But enough to still use frugal little tricks and stretch money as far as they will go. Something I'm grateful to know. And am happy to share with young friends that are struggling because their parent's never had to learn how and can't pass on.
As an American, I thought I knew what poverty was until I traveled to another country. "America poor" is still rich in many countries. I remember the first trip, I came home and kissed everything I owned!
Load More Replies... I remember having to boil pots of water if I wanted to bathe, and having to carry the pot up the stairs to where the bathroom was. Definitely managed to trip once and poured it all over myself, and ooh those burns.
I grew up lower middlish class, i had clothes and food and the best parents I could ever ask for. Due to stupidity & bad decisions when I was younger I am now a 41 yrs. old homeless male in Detroit mi. And stay most nights in a abandoned house with no electricity, gas or water. The one thing I never thought I would ever even think how bad I miss not having 24/7 access to is a toilet. Just being able to sit down while doing #2. Sorry for being gross but it's life lol
I'm sorry you're going through that. Running water is a huge deal, and I completely understand how rough it is not having that. We lived in a trailer once with no running water, so we (five of us) went to the bathroom in a bucket for around six months until my folks could find a better place. I wish you luck, friend.
Load More Replies... i was always jealous of kids who could afford snacks like fruit snacks, oreos, and chips. we only got home made snacks or fruit. which, as an adult, i miss my mum's cookie and brownies and pies, but as a kid, i had them so often i took it for granted and wanted the packaged stuff.
Hah I would have loved homemade snacks! We had no snacks and my parents both worked LONG hours to give us what we had.
Load More Replies... Wanna cry? Growing up poor on a reservation. No running water, no power, no toilet, walking to school barefoot and sharing a pair of shoes with your sis in the winter. Having to steal from neighbours gardens so you can eat (waiting 3-4 days to eat makes you desperate) sharing 2 shirts, one pair of pants and a handmade jacket with your sis. A father who worked but spent all his check on prostitutes, gambling and beer. Never knowing what ice cream tastes like until your 18. Christmas? Birthdays? Forget it
Ya, no reason to grow up poor on a res. Unless your parents are squandering those checks.
Load More Replies... In my kindergarden was a girl which wore the same outfit nearly every day. I thought it's not special, since characters in cartoons also wore the same clothes every episode. It's not as bad as not enough food, but it still bothers me that i didn't see it back then.
It is amazing how little that sort of thing can matter to a very young child anyway. It is only when they begin to experience more and have more adult influence that children begin to get critical of what they/others are wearing. I love that you related it to cartoon characters though :)
Load More Replies... Nobody said feminine products? That was the thing I had the hardest time with because there's no way to just make anything work you either have pads/tampons or you just don't. When it comes to being a neglected child in poverty the choice between food of any kind and hygiene is not easy if you are ever lucky enough to find money. I would skip school that week so many times I ended up flunking out because I missed too much time. No one ever looked into why was the saddest part.
I was homeless from age 16-18. Feminine products weren't a concern because, and I know this is going to make me sound so bad and the last time I admitted this people attacked me for it. A lot of public places had those 25¢ machines that dispensed pads and they were ridiculously easy to break into, so I did and I took them. Food is harder because it's usually more regulated. and there are cameras in the store, not the bathroom. The school lunch lady did give me an orange for free once but she got written up for it.
Load More Replies... My mom would sit with my brother and I while we ate dinner. She rarely ate with us though. Mom worked a grave yard shift and went to school to become an RT in the early 90's. Not until she was finished with school and got a better paying job did she join us. It did not dawn on us until much later in life, there wasn't enough for all of us to eat so she went with out most nights. I'll never know that struggle because of her. Thank you mom, you're missed everyday.
Same. She would either "not be hungry" or she would eat cold meals because she wouldn't eat until we did. I love that woman.
Load More Replies... Food is such a luxury. I'm not allowed to have wheat or sugar on doctors orders, on top of my own inability to digest meat and a lot of other food. My options are really slim lol
I feel the same- no gluten, lactose, only certain sugars and low cholesterol so finding things that I can eat means buying more expensive things. Slap a gluten free label on a food item and the price automatically goes sky high! I'm trying to cook more from scratch but it can get so hard, especially when I am also exhausted.
Load More Replies... Furniture, not having to use cardboard boxes for 'tables' or having to sleep on the floor, or having a closet for my 'room'. Food for lunch at school. Having a real meal instead of mustard sandwiches for dinner.
Hiding from Rent A Center or places alike. It was always the worst when a friend was over and they come trying to take the couch or whatever.
Load More Replies... wheelchair accessible home, foundation not falling out from under my home, more than one toilet, something other than the cheapest crap food at the grocery store that we somehow make tasty, not having to wake up and look the a**hole that r*ped me in the face every morning. No, wait, that's still a pipe dream
Your first point is a very important one! My family was lucky that my older brother was still a little mobile and could also be lifted by mum and dad where we first lived which only had a shower over a bath. When we moved to my grandparent's old house the bathroom was bigger and my grandad had built it himself, so he was able to build a ramp up into the shower so we could get his shower chair in. About 5 years later we managed to get a grant or something to have the whole bathroom re-done, so the shower was removed and the floor made flat and non-slip, with an adjustable shower head so it was easier for carers to shower him in the chair or use a hoist to get him into the bath. It made daily life so much easier. The rest of it is really something no one should ever have to go through either, and I hope things improve for you.
Load More Replies... Born in 91. Having flooring and toilet paper is really cool. We would collect throwaway clothes from the dumpsters and use as rags to wipe. Also being able to afford cleaning supplies. We also didnt have a plunger so i would hold myself until I got to school where there was toilet paper and flushable toilets.
Here's my cluelessness: I didn't understand why people bought hangers. Why didn't they just use the ones they get with the dry cleaning?
Wow, I would never have thought about that. I don't think I have ever used a dry cleaner in my life!
Load More Replies... Reading this makes me feel like a total jerk, I put money down on books and artsy things yet there are still kids who would metaphorically kill for a banana...
U dont have to feel bad for that, assuming its money you worked hard for and is yours. You're just doing what you should do and what many others wish they could do too. Spending it on stuff that u deem worthwhile. Whats actually bad is spending money on things that you don't actually care about. I wouldn't spend half a penny on coffee, cause i dont drink it (and thankfully dont fall into peer pressure), but i worked hard in my summer job during college to pay almost 2000 on a pc that would help me do all i needed it to do (pretty heavy stuff) and would also last fairly long. But for you it could be the opposite, and u cant live without coffee but cant see urself paying more than 500 for a laptop (hell why even buy it, ur phone is practically a computer itself). So yeah, make ur money and hard work worth it buy make INTENTIONAL and NON REGRETTABLE purchases, at least. Cause other than survival, why else do we work so hard each day if not to use the money the way we wish too.
Load More Replies... So sad to hear of so many children going without for whatever reasons. I often wonder why people (family, neighbors, teachers, clergy) didn't notice or offer to help. It hurts to know that children went without the basic shelter, food and clothing that we consider standard today. I hope that things have gotten better for everyone that posted here and that they are able to understand and/or forgive the situation.
You're assuming that the people who notice have the means to help. I grew up poor (US poor) and our extended family was generally only slightly better off than we were. Our grandparents would watch us quite often (babysitters were expensive even in the late 70s/early 80s, and the only one I remember having was abusive), we got food from local churches, and hand-me-downs from all sorts of places. We have an aunt who let us live with them many times growing up, and never made me feel like a burden, for which I'll be eternally grateful. People did what they could, but they had their own lives, their own kids, to take care of.
Load More Replies... Family time. We were latchkey kids because both my parents worked very long hours to take care of us, some days I didn't see my parents at all. No one got me up for school or met me to walk me home. My brother and I did the chores ourselves were punished if the house wasn't clean and I was expected to make dinner on the weeknights starting at about 10 years old. I did become a chef so I guess there's that. 😅
I know it's not as important as nor having enough food to eat, or electricity foe example, but mine is never having a birthday party growing up and just accepting the fact that every kid you knew did, but your family couldn't afford them. I will be 59 this year and have never had a true birthday party, with invitations and balloons etc. I am so thankful I was able to throw my kids a birthday party every year as they grew up.
I'm so sorry you missed out on that and your kids must have appreciated having the opportunity to have one every year. My dad said he only had maybe two birthday parties growing up and he felt bad attending a few his friends had as he couldn't usually return the experience. When he became an adult he was very socially anxious and hadn't many friend (now he doesn't have any) so his birthday was usually at home with close family. He and mum were able to provide birthday parties for us every year, though we alternated between a small party and more expensive present, and large party and small present. We really appreciated the effort they we to for our birthdays and I think having the limitations we did, made us value our gifts more too.
Load More Replies... I grew up on peanut butter and mac n cheese until my mom divorced my alcoholic dad and got a good factory job, before that she stayed home with us two. I remember being happy as a child, i don't remember feeling denied but my mom let on later how hard she tried to make peanut butter feel festive. Clothes were all from thrift stores but we were lucky to have them!
I didn't realize HOW lucky I was to never experience any of these things. Thank you, mom and dad!
In my mind there is a difference between "poor" and "poverty." *Sometimes* poor equals the outcome of multiple bad decisions rolled into one situation that's tough but livable. Poverty *sometimes* equals simply not having the money or the means to get basic necessities like running water, food, clothing and shelter no matter how hard it long you work.
Respect. I was a second class citizen at a glance because I wore hand-me-downs or worn out/ill fitting clothes. As a kid working odd jobs to get clothes/books that I wanted. Being able to pay all your utilities every month and not having to choose. Not having to count how much you could buy, or automatically separating food-stamp from non-food stamp items. Glasses that we kept repairing for years because we couldn't afford new ones. Walking the thin line of keeping a neat/clean house and "too nice" because welfare would yank out our support if you took any pride in your home. I grew up poor, but not as poor as some, I never went hungry. I learned a lot of self-sufficiency taking care of things while my mom worked (only child, single working mom).
I have been lower middle class most of my life, I wouldn't exactly call myself poor, but there have been times I've been without. Years sleeping on a cot with six to a two bedroom apartment while we looked for a real home, living in the middle of nowhere where our water goes out in the winter and the house is too old for a HVAC system, but, I no longer have to eat hot dogs and mac and cheese all the time, I can afford the Shin black instead of the Maruchan multipacks, and I just got a loan for a high quality bed. (My old cheaper (used) bed, what I've been doing all my life, was causing arthritis at a young age)
Mine would be worrying about the car starting in the mornings...not having a dryer (thank baby Jesus for the washer!)...I saw someone wrote about not being able to care properly for pets....definitely. we had a lot of barn cats that came and went, and it was just up to mother nature if they survived or not.. Broke my heart as a little kid, and I was the only one that cared enough to cry about it. Thankfully we never went without food, even if it lacked variety. A few summers we did go without air - air conditioners were a luxury, even if it was TX.
I remember standing in line for Federal food give aways in the 80's, the famous "Ronald Reagan" cheese. The government apparently had large stocks of food back then that needed to be distributed, and they gave it away to the poor for years. Kind of a precursor to today's food banks.
Surprised that I didn't see social media or cell phones. Us poor kids didn't get a cell phone until well into adulthood. If I needed the internet for homework in high school stay after school or library.
In my day, it was access to reference books. Rich kids has encyclopedias to use for papers, and the rest of us all tried to check out the same books lol.
Load More Replies... I knew my family was poor, but we were on a strict budget and never went hungry. I remember meeting a family when we were staying at our grandparent's caravan who had two kids we played with. They came over to our caravan and were offered a drink. They asked for 'sugar milk'. I had no idea what they were talking about, but my mum said we didn't have that, but did have banana Nesquick which they tried. Afterwards my mum took me aside and explained that their parents must give them milk with a spoon of sugar in it because they couldn't afford to by things like Nesquick. That was the first time I really understood there were levels of poor and we were lucky with what we had. I'm sure the other family was still able to eat, but their choices were more limited than even we had.
We had to wear dresses to school in the 50s and 60s. I had 5. I know it was a luxury for some of the girls. I tried to wear different ones on different days of the previous week. Yellow dress last week on Monday, this week on any other day than Monday. There were girls at school who could wear a different dress for 2 months before they had to repeat. And some who wore the same dress all week.
I'm 47 and still only eat every other day. I can afford to eat 3x daily but old habits die hard I guess
Looking back i can see several things that im so lucky not to have as an adult. Home security, not fearing when you are going to lose your home again. The realization that you dont have to Be Strong all the time; "you can't get things done while you're crying" was an intense feeling growing up. Realizing that my family's elder generation alcohol and drug problems were very likely self medication for stress.
A big thing for me was always checking the door when someone would knock or ring. Do we.have to hide and pretend we're not home because Rent A Center or Aaron's is there to take the TV, or Washer or bed or couch. It was embarrassing when it would happen when friends were over.
Currently waiting for excel to show up any minute... guess my daughter and I will be finding out what it's like to live without power. Not really looking forward to it I can tell you that. Yes the stress of money is enough to break people, it really is. Rich people have no idea what it's like looking into your child's eyes and having to tell them you have no food, power or water for them. It's an awful feeling. Especially when you work your ass off and it's still not enough. What gets me is the fact people are making the Kardashians so rich by watching them on TV. Watching them live their lavish lives with rooms full of food and cars and homes that are so big you could fit my entire extended family and then some in. And what do they do for the people that make them rich? Oh that's right they sell their kids stuff to them cause you know they need more money. Smh
Stability is something I NEVER had as a child growing up in foster care. My parents were arrested for child abuse and I was thrown into the system at 4. I had nothing more than a trash bag with a few belongings to take with me. 12 homes in 5 years many were abusive so even just basic security and care... That's what non poor kids take for granted.
My grandparents had a huge garden; Mammaw canned and froze most of it; Pappaw raised cattle and had one and a hog slaughtered every year and that would go in this big, old sarcophagus of a deep freezer; day-old bread store for 8 loaves at a time to freeze; picked wild blackberries, crabapples, creasy greens; swap for things we didn't grow with neighbors; used ringer washing machine hung clothes out on a line; spring-fed well for water; wood burning stoves and handmade quilts for heat; fans in summer; Mammaw made a few of my clothes on an old fashioned treadle-powered sewing machine; great grandma crocheted me hats, scarves, and ponchos; and where I came from, "lunch meat" was a food group, especially bologna, especially on nights you didn't have time or energy left to cook. Peanuts in Big Red was a treat. A shopping trip to the nearest metropolis of about 15,000 was an adventure. I didn't own a pair of jeans til high school.
Generic food. We never had name brand stuff. Generic soda was a treat, it was mostly generic kool-aid, not even real kool-aid. We'd use bread ends and bread slices as hot dog buns. Baloney sandwiches. Generic Hamburger Helper. Generic sandwich cookies, never Oreos. Fruit Roll Ups were a dream and unattainable. Saltine crackers with cheese slices were our nachos. McDonald's was only for birthdays. Never had parties with school friends. My mom having to choose water getting shut off, or electricity. She'd pay up one, but that meant the other would lapse. It was a dance my mom didn't deserve. But with all that said, my mother always kept us fed to the best of her ability. I love my mom.
I can relate, we went about 6 years with illegal water. My stepdad would reconnect the meter at 8 pm so we could cook, clean and take showers. We would then have to get up around 7 am to fill water bottles, brush our teeth and wash up before school.
Not having food ranks pretty high on my list. Or even being allowed to get the discounted or free lunches at school. You can be too poor for those. They just said no food and that was that. I once had a (short lived) friend who asked why I didn't just have my mom make me a lunch to bring. When I answered that I barely had a mom and no food to bring, she stopped talking to me and became a bully. I even hated my dog for getting half my food when I'd get McDonald's rarely. Stepdad made me share half of everything I got with the dog. Dog got special pet food already. I didn't really mind living in motels or cars or rando peoples houses as much as always being hungry and tired. Now I eat once a day and frequently go 4-6 days without food in a row. I can't even tell when I'm hungry or not. I never eat the last of anything and I don't make or get food if it's just for me. I can sub soda for food and haven't had a drop of water in 4 mo. so far.
All the comments about the kids. Think about that next time you vote in new bills
I'll add this in comparison: i only knew like a couple poor kids in grade school. Myself and many friends had pools in our backyards, families w multiple cars, wore clothes from Marshall Fields, The Limited, etc. My moms parents had multiple homes;.IL, FL and WI. They had a boat, my dad had a boat and snow mobile. I got a brand new.car at 16. All these things people didnt have, basic necessities and food. Im really confused bec where I lived no ones family was like that and we were middle class. This is near west suburbs of Chicago. How old are the folks anwering this? I grew up in 70s and 80s and never wanted for anything. People saying they grew up w o basic stuff just seems peculiar. Even my boyfriend who is 5 yrs older and his parents came from Greece had more than most of these folks..and it was him and then a brother was born here, too. And they werent poor. Maybe Chicago was better off than other places. Thank god it seems.
We were never rich, but I cant say I have seriously been poor. Like we always had roof on our head and always enough food, sure we never traveled or anything like that, but we had the essentials. But I think it took kind of a toll on our father who was the sole money maker while we were still kids, all the medical stuff that both parents have been diagnosed would probably have been diagnosed earlier if they wouldnt have to take care of us. Now when all of us kids have moved away my parents actually have money to buy stuff they need/want for themselves.. focus more on their health etc. Closest of being poor was while I was studying for my bachelors and I didnt want to ask for money from my dad unless it was absolutely necessary, during that time there were weeks when I had only cheap pasta, ketchup was luxury, somehow though we managed to get drunk very often :D so obviously that was more money management issue than actually being poor. But didnt have to take student loan so thats good.
Hot showers, I was in middle school after gym we got to shower in actual hot water and I would stay in the shower as long as I could while the other girls would just pop in and pop out. I thought better enjoy this before the school finds out and shuts off the hot water. Also using hair dryer under blankets to stay warm because the kids bedroom had no heat in New England in winter.
Not sure which of us was poorer but my family does meal planning for the week and tries to get the groceries all in one go. My fiancé's family doesnt so he's abit helpless when i try to get a meal plan together.
Being able to buy nice things just because you like them. Not only art, or pictures and decorations. Forniture. Apliances. Nice good fitting clothes and shoes in colors you like even if those are not 100% practical. Allways having to buy the cheapest thing in the store or in the market is kind of depressing. Nice and expensive things just for looking at them. My parents and family used to go to department stores and supermarkets just for look and wonder about on such pretty variety of every imaginable things we never could even dream to afford. They loved it, and that make them happy, but it just make me sad and depressed... even today, so many things I need and cannot afford... I can't even imagine how must it feel just to buy something nice, new and unpractical just because I like it.
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