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“[Am I The Jerk] For Sneaking Out And Causing My Sister To Lose Her Job?”
Interview With AuthorThey say it takes a village to raise a child, but sometimes that “village” ends up being a sleep-deprived teenager who just wants to enjoy their summer break without being on diaper duty.
Teenagers are supposed to spend their summers bingeing shows, sleeping till noon, and enjoying their hobbies. Instead, some end up negotiating nap schedules like they’re tiny, unpaid nannies.
That’s exactly what happened to one Redditor who was forced to babysit her newborn niece around the clock so her sister could work and sleep, but is accused of being lazy and selfish for sneaking out to get a break.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
Some teens get summer internships, others get tricked into becoming full-time, unpaid babysitters
Image credits: Kristina Paukshtite / Pexels (not the actual photo)
One exhausted, sleep-deprived teen sneaks out of the house after being forced to babysit her sister’s newborn daily
Image credits: cookie_studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The teen wants to enjoy her summer break, but her sister forces her to babysit her newborn every day so she can work and sleep
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The teen suffers from insomnia, anxiety, and sleep deprivation, and tells her sister she is not capable of taking care of her child, but is told to deal with it
Image credits: cutiepatoot27
The exhausted teen sneaks out of the house and stays with a friend overnight to get some sleep, and is accused of being lazy and selfish for not babysitting
The OP (original poster) is a 14-year-old teen who just wrapped up another year of school, probably dreaming about lazy mornings and movie marathons. Instead, she got slapped with the role of full-time babysitter for her 33-year-old sister’s newborn. But our OP has zero experience with babies, gets easily overwhelmed, and deals with insomnia, which sounds like a nightmare in itself.
To make things worse, both her sister and mom work the night shift, leaving the OP alone with the baby for hours. They expected her to sleep while babysitting, which is like telling someone to nap in a hurricane. The OP was constantly on edge, terrified that something might happen if she so much as blinked too long.
And when she dared to ask about daycare? Instantly denied. So, after weeks of stress and sleeplessness, the OP did what any teenager at her wit’s end might do: she dipped. She snuck out of the house and crashed at a friend’s place to finally get some rest.
Of course, her phone blew up with frantic calls and messages. And when she returned home, she was met by an angry mom, a furious sister, and enough guilt to fill a minivan. Her sister even quit her job after the OP threatened to walk out again if the unpaid babysitting continued. Now the family’s giving her the cold shoulder and calling her “lazy and selfish,” except for her dad, who’s only mildly disappointed.
So, is our teen a jerk for escaping her unpaid summer shift? Well, to be fair, being a single mom isn’t easy, and daycare costs can be wild. But that still doesn’t justify expecting a 14-year-old to be a full-time caregiver. That’s a classic case of parentification.
To find out more about parentification, Bored Panda reached out to Dr. Melanie McNally, a clinical psychologist, author, and speaker, for some comments. She told us that “When teens are parentified, meaning they’re placed in a caregiving role before they’re emotionally ready, they often learn to tune out their own needs in order to meet everyone else’s.”
According to McNally, these teens might appear highly responsible or mature on the surface, but underneath that image is often a buildup of anxiety, low self-esteem, and identity confusion. Over time, constantly needing to “hold things together” can disrupt their emotional development and make it difficult to recognize their own worth beyond their caregiving duties.
When asked how families can differentiate between healthy help and problematic role reversal, McNally pointed to one key factor: choice. If a teen starts missing social time, feels guilty for taking a break, or becomes the family’s default emotional support system, it’s likely that the line has been crossed.
McNally also weighed in on whether it’s ever appropriate to expect a teen to care for a baby. Context plays a major role. A teen who chooses to help out due to personal interest or future goals may benefit from the experience.
But when the responsibility falls on them because the adults are struggling or absent, the situation becomes concerning. Occasional babysitting is one thing; consistent, high-stakes caregiving that interferes with school, rest, or autonomy is another.
We also wanted to understand how early parentification affects long-term identity and relationships. McNally explained that many grow into capable adults, but often struggle with internal questions like “Who am I if I’m not helping?”
In relationships, they may overextend themselves, struggle with boundaries, or take on more emotional weight than they should. Breaking this pattern begins with learning that they are valuable even when they’re not “doing” for others.
Fortunately, there are ways to support these teens that don’t always require formal therapy. “Support doesn’t always need to be clinical, though therapy helps. Sometimes it starts with one safe adult who says, “You shouldn’t have had to carry that.” Group coaching, mentoring, trauma-informed school counseling, or even creative spaces where teens aren’t in charge of anyone else can restore balance,” McNally explained.
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Bored Panda also talked to the poster, for further details on the story. She told us that her relationship with her sister hasn’t changed much following the events. While things may be slightly more awkward now, they weren’t especially close to begin with, often keeping to separate spaces in the house.
When asked how often she was left alone to care for the baby, the poster explained that both her sister and her mom work long shifts, or around 12 hours, and typically return in the evening before sleeping in until midday. That left her alone for the majority of the day with minimal guidance.
As for how prepared she was to take on baby duties, the poster said she was briefly shown how to handle the basics. “They showed me how to change diapers and make the bottles but that’s it. I usually have to google stuff or search how to do it on TikTok if I need help with something,” the poster shared.
We also wanted to know if the poster ever tried speaking up about how overwhelmed she was feeling. According to her, she did try to raise the idea of daycare with both her sister and their mother. However, the suggestion was quickly dismissed after her sister expressed concern over social media horror stories about childcare facilities.
When she decided to leave the house and spend the night at a friend’s place, we asked how her friend’s family reacted. The poster shared that they didn’t find it unusual. She often visited on weekends, and since the two houses are only ten minutes apart, no one questioned it. She didn’t explain the reason for her visit—she simply asked to stay over.
We wrapped up by asking the poster whether she feels safe and supported at home now. “I never felt unsafe at home, just nervous when I was left at home with the baby, but I don’t get left with the baby now since my sister is here again, so I feel pretty fine,” she explained.
What do you think of this story? Is our teen a jerk for wanting to enjoy her summer? Let us know in the comments!
Netizens side with the teen, saying she is not a jerk in this story, as expecting a child to be a full-time caregiver is insane
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What do you think ?
Becca not Becky 6 months ago
Mama needs to go to court and get dad to pay child support, as a start. Then, use the funds to hire a babysitter or someone else to watch the baby and then get a job. If the grandparents are so concerned, they can chip in for childcare costs. Expecting the 14yo to take on the whole load is wrong on so many levels.
Lynne Walker 6 months ago
I would upvote this many more times if I could. The dad needs to support his child no matter what. Get an appointment with friend of the court: they can help.
Load More Replies...
Daya Meyer 6 months ago
What is the plan when the girl goes back to school? School at day, babysitting at night?
marcelo D. 6 months ago
she obviously will have to drop out of school to take care for sis' baby and all other babies she have in the future with other deadbeats that don't pay child support.
Load More Replies... Lesliezin 6 months ago
Women like this sister that have babies but want to shove the responsibilities onto others should be made to have their tubes tied. There are too many people out there having babies and expecting others to pay for them having kids. If they can't step up and take responsibility for their own actions then they should not be allowed to have more kids that will inevitably be pushed onto others.
Becca not Becky 6 months ago
Mama needs to go to court and get dad to pay child support, as a start. Then, use the funds to hire a babysitter or someone else to watch the baby and then get a job. If the grandparents are so concerned, they can chip in for childcare costs. Expecting the 14yo to take on the whole load is wrong on so many levels.
Lynne Walker 6 months ago
I would upvote this many more times if I could. The dad needs to support his child no matter what. Get an appointment with friend of the court: they can help.
Load More Replies... Daya Meyer 6 months ago
What is the plan when the girl goes back to school? School at day, babysitting at night?
marcelo D. 6 months ago
she obviously will have to drop out of school to take care for sis' baby and all other babies she have in the future with other deadbeats that don't pay child support.
Load More Replies... Lesliezin 6 months ago
Women like this sister that have babies but want to shove the responsibilities onto others should be made to have their tubes tied. There are too many people out there having babies and expecting others to pay for them having kids. If they can't step up and take responsibility for their own actions then they should not be allowed to have more kids that will inevitably be pushed onto others.
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