“We Have Two Rooms Available”: Woman Is Confused After Fiancé Refuses To Let Her Family Move In For A While, Even Though She Helped His Family Years Ago
Maintaining a strong and healthy relationship takes a lot of work. Especially when life throws some challenges to test it along the way. However, these tough times show how committed people really are to each other. Having this in mind, Reddit user @62vdo2nns addressed people online by asking them if she was right for asking her fiancé to keep his word and help her mother in times of need. The story received almost 18k upvotes and sparked a discussion with 1.3k comments.
More Info: Reddit
Caring for your significant other’s family can be seen as a sign of a strong and serious relationship
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The user started her story by stating that 3 years ago, her fiancé’s mother needed a place to stay as she was not on good terms with her boyfriend. At that time, the user and her fiancé lived in a 2-bedroom apartment. One of these rooms was made into an office for the woman because she worked from home. Despite the fact that there wasn’t a lot of space and the woman had to give up her “office” space for this, she agreed to help because her fiancé assured her that “When the day comes, you know I would do the same for you if your family ever needed it.”
A concerned user online asked if she was wrong for asking her fiancé to let her family live with them for a while
Image credits: 62vdo2nns
The user shared a situation that occurred 3 years ago when her fiancé’s mother asked to move in with them and the woman agreed
Image credits: 62vdo2nns
The original poster also added that the place where her fiancé’s mother lived was actually hers and so the user didn’t quite understand why she wanted to move in with them anyway. After a few months of living with them and not helping at all in the apartment, the mother left for her boyfriend.
The woman continued her story by telling that after some time, they moved into a bigger house with 4 bedrooms as they were hoping to expand their family. One day, the user found out that her mother and her two siblings lost the place they lived in due to foreclosure. Having in mind that they had 2 empty rooms and that her fiancé had promised to help in similar situations, the woman asked him if her family could live with them for a bit.
Image credits: 62vdo2nns
The man replied that he doesn’t feel comfortable knowing that her family will live with them for a while. This is when the woman reminded him of the things he said a few years ago. However, the fiancé still didn’t agree as he didn’t want “two teenagers running the house.” The woman asked people online whether she is wrong for pushing him to do something he is not comfortable with.
Image credits: 62vdo2nns
Now the user feels that her fiancé didn’t keep his promise to show the same kindness that she showed when his mother was in a though situation
Image credits: 62vdo2nns
People in the comments section were agreeing with the user that it is about time he stuck to his word. A lot of users also noticed that this shouldn’t be something the couple should be arguing about because it involves family and the right thing to do is to help them as much as possible. Some users even shared their own experiences, questioning whether this couple should even stay together.
What is your take on this situation? Don’t forget to leave your thoughts in the comments down below!
People online all agreed that this is not how her fiancé should’ve reacted
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Yeah, but they bought a house together. Red flag city.
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My aunt had to move in with my family at one point because her house burned down. My mother and her didn't have the best relationship, but my mother still allowed her to move in because she knew it was the right thing to do and it would make my dad happy. My aunt was my dad's sister. Years later, when my mom's sister had to move in to be protected from her crazy ex, my dad didn't think twice about it. She moved into our house and that was that.
The mother sounded like a piece of work, perhaps the apple didn't fall from from the Unstable tree
Leave him. You will never be as important to him as you should be. Run from this Mamma's Boy and find yourself a real man who is dedicated to taking care of loved ones instead of guilt tripping. RUN.
The only reasonable reason I can think of for his resistance is that after his mom moved in, the house was absolutely miserable to be in and he is afraid that trying again with the addition of two teenagers is just going to be unlivable. My husband is sorta of the same mentality.. He takes one instance of a bad experience and then in his mind any further attempts get blown out to unreasonable proportions.
I don't think the situations are equivalent. His mom was one person, and, most importantly, owned a home she could go back to. The arrangement was clearly short term. Her mom comes with two teenagers and has no other arrangements. Having them move in is long term to permanent. I have the feeling the husband is looking at this and picturing mom and siblings staying until the teens graduate. If she can provide a very clear timeline, like mom has found a new rental, but can't move in until the 12th in 2 months, then the husband would be an AH for refusing. But without that clear end date, I can't blame him for saying no. Also, he may have learned from the experience with his mother that that was a situation he never, ever wants to repeat, and that is legitimate and he is allowed to change his mind. Their score keeping doesn't look good, regardless, and isn't healthy in a relationship.
So I have a totally different view. First off she is very judgmental about the reason his mom left her home. People don't just leave their own home if something isn't truly wrong. So, I would like to know more. And second of all, she has not lived with her siblings in the time the became teenagers. Painting ány teenager as easy to live with is at the least questionable. This is a totally different situation, three people versus one extra is a total take over of the family dynamics of a home. So I would need a whole lot more to believe this story as this black and white. Also. Dismissing infertility (that's what she actually seems to mean with fertile I assume) so easily after planning your living situation around it, seems odd.
Very good and valid points. Still, pacta sunt servanda. He gave his word. Her mum’s in trouble. I don’t think hes got a leg to stand on.
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I'm assuming that when she wrote "This was before we found out that he was fertile" she meant Infertile. That could be a reason for not wanting kids around. I still think he's TA but it should be taken into account imo.
To be fair, it's not as if she graciously and enthousiastically let that mother into the house --- what we read is HER version where she's painted herself as positively as she can. And that's full of grumbles and snipes, it's not needed, it's an invasion, etc... and that's only one older adult; now this gives you some energetic teenagers? That's a whole other level, and it will probably be far longer than two months (single mothers don't get houses thrown at them).
But she still let her in, even though she had another place to stay. The guy isn't letting her mom stay. Plus, he said that whey the day comes, he would let her family in. He didn't.
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21th century calling here. A lot of young people don’t even marry at all here in Europe because you know what? It’s not necessary to have a committed relation or children if you want them.
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But would you put them on the street? That's the core question.
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Yeah, but they bought a house together. Red flag city.
Load More Replies... My aunt had to move in with my family at one point because her house burned down. My mother and her didn't have the best relationship, but my mother still allowed her to move in because she knew it was the right thing to do and it would make my dad happy. My aunt was my dad's sister. Years later, when my mom's sister had to move in to be protected from her crazy ex, my dad didn't think twice about it. She moved into our house and that was that.
The mother sounded like a piece of work, perhaps the apple didn't fall from from the Unstable tree
Leave him. You will never be as important to him as you should be. Run from this Mamma's Boy and find yourself a real man who is dedicated to taking care of loved ones instead of guilt tripping. RUN.
The only reasonable reason I can think of for his resistance is that after his mom moved in, the house was absolutely miserable to be in and he is afraid that trying again with the addition of two teenagers is just going to be unlivable. My husband is sorta of the same mentality.. He takes one instance of a bad experience and then in his mind any further attempts get blown out to unreasonable proportions.
I don't think the situations are equivalent. His mom was one person, and, most importantly, owned a home she could go back to. The arrangement was clearly short term. Her mom comes with two teenagers and has no other arrangements. Having them move in is long term to permanent. I have the feeling the husband is looking at this and picturing mom and siblings staying until the teens graduate. If she can provide a very clear timeline, like mom has found a new rental, but can't move in until the 12th in 2 months, then the husband would be an AH for refusing. But without that clear end date, I can't blame him for saying no. Also, he may have learned from the experience with his mother that that was a situation he never, ever wants to repeat, and that is legitimate and he is allowed to change his mind. Their score keeping doesn't look good, regardless, and isn't healthy in a relationship.
So I have a totally different view. First off she is very judgmental about the reason his mom left her home. People don't just leave their own home if something isn't truly wrong. So, I would like to know more. And second of all, she has not lived with her siblings in the time the became teenagers. Painting ány teenager as easy to live with is at the least questionable. This is a totally different situation, three people versus one extra is a total take over of the family dynamics of a home. So I would need a whole lot more to believe this story as this black and white. Also. Dismissing infertility (that's what she actually seems to mean with fertile I assume) so easily after planning your living situation around it, seems odd.
Very good and valid points. Still, pacta sunt servanda. He gave his word. Her mum’s in trouble. I don’t think hes got a leg to stand on.
Load More Replies... I'm assuming that when she wrote "This was before we found out that he was fertile" she meant Infertile. That could be a reason for not wanting kids around. I still think he's TA but it should be taken into account imo.
To be fair, it's not as if she graciously and enthousiastically let that mother into the house --- what we read is HER version where she's painted herself as positively as she can. And that's full of grumbles and snipes, it's not needed, it's an invasion, etc... and that's only one older adult; now this gives you some energetic teenagers? That's a whole other level, and it will probably be far longer than two months (single mothers don't get houses thrown at them).
But she still let her in, even though she had another place to stay. The guy isn't letting her mom stay. Plus, he said that whey the day comes, he would let her family in. He didn't.
Load More Replies... 21th century calling here. A lot of young people don’t even marry at all here in Europe because you know what? It’s not necessary to have a committed relation or children if you want them.
Load More Replies... But would you put them on the street? That's the core question.
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