“Look What You Did”: Man Feels Horrible After Ex’s Insults Make Him Lose It In Front Of Kids
Despite being a completely natural thing, periods are still very much stigmatized; to the extent where some people believe that men shouldn’t even be talking about it.
That’s what this redditor’s ex-wife thought, as she called him “sick and perverted” for discussing periods with their three daughters. Needless to say, it didn’t make the relationship between the parents any better and resulted in them shouting at each other in front of their kids. Scroll down to find the full story below.
Periods are often stigmatized, resulting in girls being fearful of talking about it
Image credits: halfpoint / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
This man took matters into his own hands when his daughters needed to be taught about periods
Image credits: AtlasComposer / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: aitaposthrowaway
Many young women have been shamed or teased over being on their period
Image credits: Sora Shimazaki / pexels (not the actual photo)
Needless to say, it’s important to talk to teenagers about periods, since—as the OP’s daughter’s story shows—they might feel confused or even ashamed about it, especially when menstruation first starts. A survey carried out by Always found that one-in-three young people do not feel prepared for their first period, and more than three-in-four of them admit having tried to hide the fact that they’re on their period from people around them.
The secrecy and the discomfort related to periods often stems from the stigma surrounding it, shaming women over something they have no control over. According to said survey, roughly 20% of young people have been shamed or teased because of their period, and roughly 25% have seen menstruation portrayed negatively on TV or in movies.
Another study of people’s views on periods found that roughly every fourth woman ages 16 to 24 feels anxious because of menstruation, with fears over leaking through their clothing, changes to their body, and people seeing them take period products to the toilet being the main stressors.
It’s important to talk about menstruation in order to diminish the stigma that surrounds it
Image credits: Sora Shimazaki / pexels (not the actual photo)
The negativity that surrounds menstruation is probably the reason why many young girls don’t have the guts to discuss it even with members of their own family. And while the situation in some homes is not that bad—in nearly 77% of US households with at least one female resident in their teenage years, periods are discussed openly, Statista reports—many young people would rather opt for Googling information instead of asking someone face-to-face about it.
According to Statista’s data, more than half of teenagers would rather turn to the internet instead of talking to someone about periods. It’s safe to assume that they feel uncomfortable discussing the topic, as many teachers reportedly are, too—roughly 35% of those surveyed revealed that their health teacher appeared uneasy while discussing menstruation.
When it comes to schools and menstruation, it seems that the education system does not really prepare the youngsters well on period-related matters, as close to 80% students report being taught more about the biology of frogs than a human female body.
Luckily, some parents, such as the OP, realize the importance of informing their children about the changes and processes happening in a human’s body. That’s why they put effort into educating their offspring, consequently sometimes even educating themselves, as the redditor did by teaching his daughters.
It is arguably especially important for male members of the family, many of whom believe that periods should be kept a secret, a survey by Plan International found. The survey revealed that more than half of the respondents between the ages of 16 and 25 consider menstruation “dirty”, and many say it’s “disgusting” or “embarrassing”. The OP, however, made sure to let his daughter know that periods are nothing to be embarrassed about and approached the topic with nothing but love and care, which fellow netizens in the comments applauded the redditor for.
People in the comments shared their views and applauded the father for being a great parent to his girls
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This woman has a loving, responsible, involved father for her children. What the hell is she bitching about? It is the parent's job to guide children through things like this, and this man stepped up quite nicely. Let's hope he has primary custody of these girls, because he definitely sounds like the more stable, reasonable parent.
Yeah, my first thought was that, as primary parent, it's his responsibility to ensure they are prepared for everything in life. He really should have made sure they had learned about it sooner, as that primary parent, most schools would have at least the usual "how your body changes" assembly by around 10. I think it's wonderful the girls are comfortable enough with their father to discuss it as thoroughly as they did. Not all girls would. It also shows their maturity to understand that, while dad was wrong to argue with yelling to their mother in front of them, that it's rare and a mistake. If the mother won't take upon her duties as a mother (she should have had the talk with the girls, too), then she doesn't have the right to be upset when he steps up to ensure the same responsibility.
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No surprise the mother is an ex, she sounds awful. This dad seems great, mine never did anything remotely like that, and I can clearly see why his kids adore him.
So....ex wife says he is disgusting for teaching his daughter about reproductive health, yet she openly said, while daughters' were in the room, that he needs to tell their daughters that the reason she left was because "daddy couldn't satisfy her??" And that comment is NOT disgusting???
So one parent didn't know there were children in the room during an argument and one parent not only knew there were children in the room during an argument but found it amusing and smiled. One parent treated menstruation as a health care issue and one parent treated it as something gross and sexual. One parent was there to help educate and support his child in an emergency and one parent couldn't be reached by phone. It's incredibly clear who TA is in this situation.
OP responded pretty much perfectly to the stained laundry situation with his support and with the follow-up education session with the younger daughters, showing empathy and trustworthiness and proving himself a 'safe space'. The ex... wow.
Agreed. It's not as if he did a GYN exam on the kid!
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I’m a Gen-X, Texan retired Marine with a 15 year old daughter (with 2 military brothers) still at home. My truck ALWAYS has pads and pons in the glovebox. So do her brother’s cars when they’re home. Taking care of your family does not come with exceptions.
And she may not be the only girl who rides in those vehicles who may get caught out unexpectedly. Her friends, your sons' friends..... Smart man, you are.
Load More Replies...
The "get anger management" responder is a total dickweed. Like, dude, for real? What about this make you think he's got anger management problems?
Never mind any of this - you're a "loser" because you teach Kindergarten???? Look sir, I'm a VOLUNTEER with kindergarten-age children. There is nothing more rewarding or fun than that. I'll tip my cap for that alone - you're a good father in all the rest, as well.
One of the better elementary school teachers I had was male.
Load More Replies...
Ugh, this woman could be my mother, except my father is the younger man. Poor bloke has been tethered to that entitled monster for so long, and we've since stopped encouraging to give up smoking if that gives anyone an idea of where we are at as a family unit. This dude is wonderful, and his poor girls are obviously hurting for him. That hag is going to be the loneliest woman at the most budget of budget-nursing homes one day l.
Dad waited to long but then handled it brilliantly. But why wait until it's necessary. Just like talking about sex and pregnancy, if you just treat it like a normal part of teaching kids about their bodies, with a little info when they are small and more when they are older, it's less embarrassing and stressful for everyone. There's no pressure on a big talk, kids just know about bodies. It's also easier on parents because you can try different explanations etc and refine as you they get older. It shows bodies aren't anything to be embarrassed by. And tell kids about the other sex's bodies, so many misconceptions can be taken care of just with natural/normal conversations about hygiene and difference.
In Dad's defense, he might not have been clear on the timing, not having had the experience himself. Granted, I knew about such matters years before I reached menarche, but that was my mother's doing (one of her few really good moments as a parent). Dad just might not have realized that time had come until his daughter told him, or he maybe mistakenly thought his ex had actually done her job as a mother and educated their daughter on the subject.
Load More Replies... How can it be perverted to care for a scared and unsure daughter who doesn't know how to handle menstruations? What's perverted is to neglect that daughter during this sensitive period in her life. The mother f**ked up and blames the father who stepped up and took care of his daughter's problem.
Some rather paranoid types think that any adult male mentioning any topic remotely related to sex, genitals, etc., to any female is only doing so because he's a pervert. Couldn't be anything non-creepy in this situation to some minds. (And this comes from a woman whose father WAS a molester.)
Load More Replies... Best dad every. Even though me probably shouldn't have lost his temper, his daughters know he has their back. They needed to see him get angry for them.
I think he needs professional help, to explain and guide his daughters to the fact that they most likely have a narcissistic mother and dealing with that requires a lot of support. There are so many husbands and boyfriends that can't handle periods and this Dad handled it like a champ, he should not be doubting himself, his instincts are right and he is stellar Father.
And I'm sure his female friends (and any SOs when he's older) will appreciate dealing with a guy who gets such things.
Load More Replies...
My mom was the one to teach me about this stuff, but I've asked my dad for pads and stuff before. He's my dad, it shouldn't be considered weird for someone to teach their daughter about stuff like this. I don't see why this should be gendered??
After my father died, my maternal grandfather took on a rather parental role, helping my mother. He was very matter-of-fact about such things as being asked to pick up some pads for me if he was going shopping anyway. Just part of having a post-puberty female around, and since I was the fourth he'd dealt with (after my mother and her two step-sisters), he was used to such things.
Load More Replies...
So their father, primary carer who lives with them day in and day out educated them, made them feel safe and set the relationship so that they can be open and honest with him. And did it a timely manner rather than letting their anxiety and concern grow. What a horrible human (sarcasm).
Can someone please explain to me, what that woman meant by "She said I was being immature and should have toughed it up" What? How??
In my opinion, the ex meant "you're a better parent than I am because you actually care about our kids, and I don't". I could be wrong, but I don't think I am.
Load More Replies...
There is still so much misinformation about menstrual cycles. Every girl needs to have that explained. Calling someone who gave information a perverted is just stupid. Is all of the internet perverted. Certainly there are parts that are but it's mostly just information. Mom needs to grow up. Kudos to the dad.
Well, he's AWESOME and I wish my dad had been like that, and the ex is definitely worthless.
Bert Kreischer has an incredibly funny story about his daughter Ila and her 1st period. Girls these days have "period parties" and it is hilarious.
So I'm taking a plane from London next week Thursday; any Pandas wanting to join me for an "intimate" chat with the so called mother?
Totally NTA. He sounds like a great dad, and I think the mom needs a f*cking wake-up call.
Both the mom and the dad failed the 12 year old by not already having prepared her for having periods yet. The average age of getting your first period is 12, so lots of girls have them younger than that, so they should have already explained everything to her and made sure they have pads at home.
There’s always someone in every post pointing out the storm cloud in the silver lining 😆
Load More Replies... This woman has a loving, responsible, involved father for her children. What the hell is she bitching about? It is the parent's job to guide children through things like this, and this man stepped up quite nicely. Let's hope he has primary custody of these girls, because he definitely sounds like the more stable, reasonable parent.
Yeah, my first thought was that, as primary parent, it's his responsibility to ensure they are prepared for everything in life. He really should have made sure they had learned about it sooner, as that primary parent, most schools would have at least the usual "how your body changes" assembly by around 10. I think it's wonderful the girls are comfortable enough with their father to discuss it as thoroughly as they did. Not all girls would. It also shows their maturity to understand that, while dad was wrong to argue with yelling to their mother in front of them, that it's rare and a mistake. If the mother won't take upon her duties as a mother (she should have had the talk with the girls, too), then she doesn't have the right to be upset when he steps up to ensure the same responsibility.
Load More Replies... No surprise the mother is an ex, she sounds awful. This dad seems great, mine never did anything remotely like that, and I can clearly see why his kids adore him.
So....ex wife says he is disgusting for teaching his daughter about reproductive health, yet she openly said, while daughters' were in the room, that he needs to tell their daughters that the reason she left was because "daddy couldn't satisfy her??" And that comment is NOT disgusting???
So one parent didn't know there were children in the room during an argument and one parent not only knew there were children in the room during an argument but found it amusing and smiled. One parent treated menstruation as a health care issue and one parent treated it as something gross and sexual. One parent was there to help educate and support his child in an emergency and one parent couldn't be reached by phone. It's incredibly clear who TA is in this situation.
OP responded pretty much perfectly to the stained laundry situation with his support and with the follow-up education session with the younger daughters, showing empathy and trustworthiness and proving himself a 'safe space'. The ex... wow.
Agreed. It's not as if he did a GYN exam on the kid!
Load More Replies... I’m a Gen-X, Texan retired Marine with a 15 year old daughter (with 2 military brothers) still at home. My truck ALWAYS has pads and pons in the glovebox. So do her brother’s cars when they’re home. Taking care of your family does not come with exceptions.
And she may not be the only girl who rides in those vehicles who may get caught out unexpectedly. Her friends, your sons' friends..... Smart man, you are.
Load More Replies... The "get anger management" responder is a total dickweed. Like, dude, for real? What about this make you think he's got anger management problems?
Never mind any of this - you're a "loser" because you teach Kindergarten???? Look sir, I'm a VOLUNTEER with kindergarten-age children. There is nothing more rewarding or fun than that. I'll tip my cap for that alone - you're a good father in all the rest, as well.
One of the better elementary school teachers I had was male.
Load More Replies... Ugh, this woman could be my mother, except my father is the younger man. Poor bloke has been tethered to that entitled monster for so long, and we've since stopped encouraging to give up smoking if that gives anyone an idea of where we are at as a family unit. This dude is wonderful, and his poor girls are obviously hurting for him. That hag is going to be the loneliest woman at the most budget of budget-nursing homes one day l.
Dad waited to long but then handled it brilliantly. But why wait until it's necessary. Just like talking about sex and pregnancy, if you just treat it like a normal part of teaching kids about their bodies, with a little info when they are small and more when they are older, it's less embarrassing and stressful for everyone. There's no pressure on a big talk, kids just know about bodies. It's also easier on parents because you can try different explanations etc and refine as you they get older. It shows bodies aren't anything to be embarrassed by. And tell kids about the other sex's bodies, so many misconceptions can be taken care of just with natural/normal conversations about hygiene and difference.
In Dad's defense, he might not have been clear on the timing, not having had the experience himself. Granted, I knew about such matters years before I reached menarche, but that was my mother's doing (one of her few really good moments as a parent). Dad just might not have realized that time had come until his daughter told him, or he maybe mistakenly thought his ex had actually done her job as a mother and educated their daughter on the subject.
Load More Replies... How can it be perverted to care for a scared and unsure daughter who doesn't know how to handle menstruations? What's perverted is to neglect that daughter during this sensitive period in her life. The mother f**ked up and blames the father who stepped up and took care of his daughter's problem.
Some rather paranoid types think that any adult male mentioning any topic remotely related to sex, genitals, etc., to any female is only doing so because he's a pervert. Couldn't be anything non-creepy in this situation to some minds. (And this comes from a woman whose father WAS a molester.)
Load More Replies... Best dad every. Even though me probably shouldn't have lost his temper, his daughters know he has their back. They needed to see him get angry for them.
I think he needs professional help, to explain and guide his daughters to the fact that they most likely have a narcissistic mother and dealing with that requires a lot of support. There are so many husbands and boyfriends that can't handle periods and this Dad handled it like a champ, he should not be doubting himself, his instincts are right and he is stellar Father.
And I'm sure his female friends (and any SOs when he's older) will appreciate dealing with a guy who gets such things.
Load More Replies... My mom was the one to teach me about this stuff, but I've asked my dad for pads and stuff before. He's my dad, it shouldn't be considered weird for someone to teach their daughter about stuff like this. I don't see why this should be gendered??
After my father died, my maternal grandfather took on a rather parental role, helping my mother. He was very matter-of-fact about such things as being asked to pick up some pads for me if he was going shopping anyway. Just part of having a post-puberty female around, and since I was the fourth he'd dealt with (after my mother and her two step-sisters), he was used to such things.
Load More Replies... So their father, primary carer who lives with them day in and day out educated them, made them feel safe and set the relationship so that they can be open and honest with him. And did it a timely manner rather than letting their anxiety and concern grow. What a horrible human (sarcasm).
Can someone please explain to me, what that woman meant by "She said I was being immature and should have toughed it up" What? How??
In my opinion, the ex meant "you're a better parent than I am because you actually care about our kids, and I don't". I could be wrong, but I don't think I am.
Load More Replies... There is still so much misinformation about menstrual cycles. Every girl needs to have that explained. Calling someone who gave information a perverted is just stupid. Is all of the internet perverted. Certainly there are parts that are but it's mostly just information. Mom needs to grow up. Kudos to the dad.
Well, he's AWESOME and I wish my dad had been like that, and the ex is definitely worthless.
Bert Kreischer has an incredibly funny story about his daughter Ila and her 1st period. Girls these days have "period parties" and it is hilarious.
So I'm taking a plane from London next week Thursday; any Pandas wanting to join me for an "intimate" chat with the so called mother?
Totally NTA. He sounds like a great dad, and I think the mom needs a f*cking wake-up call.
Both the mom and the dad failed the 12 year old by not already having prepared her for having periods yet. The average age of getting your first period is 12, so lots of girls have them younger than that, so they should have already explained everything to her and made sure they have pads at home.
There’s always someone in every post pointing out the storm cloud in the silver lining 😆
Load More Replies...
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