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Someone Added Hilarious Captions To Antiques Roadshow Items, And They’re Better Than The Original
What's so great about the Antiques Roadshow, anyway? It's just some lousy TV show where random people bring their random stuff, in hopes that the appraisers will evaluate them to be some fancy antique, that could be sold for a full suitcase-worth of money. Who could ever spend their time watching that, right? Well, this show is a guilty pleasure and some sort of a cult for a mass of people for more than two decades now.
While the concept of this show isn't a funny one per se and some of the antique appraisal discoveries are truly marvelous, but in so many years and with so many people participating in it, some funny jokes are bound to happen sooner or later. And once the Internet gets its hands on something, the captions for pictures shown at the show, for instance, things always take a peculiar, and random turn. That is exactly what happened to this show once Tumblr user Keaton Patti started screenshotting the antiques from the show and adding the best captions to them, and the results are absolutely hilarious. We believe, that event the Antiques Roadshow appraisers themselves could not match these funny captions.
This post may include affiliate links.
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Yezid Puerto 7 years ago
jjajajajaja yes, we know it..........., they know it, everybody knows it.......
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Eleanor Ragsdale 7 years ago
Identity crisis: what am I? If I was born as a vase, was I ever a swan? Will I continue to be a swan?
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Cinzia Sammarco 7 years ago
Remind me something about the sorceress in suicide squad..... pay attention pls. Do not summon that crazy witch!!!
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Eleanor Ragsdale 7 years ago
Very much describes cats. Minus the weirdness and tendency to be mean.
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Brett Shanley 10 months ago
No seriously who wrote these. This list is the hardest I have laughed in a long time and I've read it before.
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BusLady 7 years ago
They came out in the 1920's. Very few known to exist today. :D
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Freya the Wanderer 7 years ago
Not to be a killjoy, but George Washington's falsies weren't made of wood. They included ivory, cow teeth and - get this - teeth taken from slaves. I yi yi!
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ispeak catanese 7 years ago
*raises hand timidly in the back of the room and mumbles* I like it
William Cervetti 4 years ago
You have good taste. It is almost 100% the work of Manoucher Yektai, Iranian born abstract impressionist whose paintings sell for tens and hundreds of thousands of dollars. A great painter who is a master of impasto
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BlackestDawn 7 years ago
Well, it is still "later" so unless they died they still have a chance to make it true.
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William Cervetti 4 years ago
I hi tnk this is the work of one of my favorite painters seriously. Can't remember his name now though---originally from Iran, and was in the abstract impressionist circles in NYC.
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Rhaitsuni B 7 years ago
He's either sad about the price or the fact that grandma is buying it instead 😂
Parmeisan 7 years ago
She's not doing too bad, but when you factor in that kid...!
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ispeak catanese 7 years ago
Random appendages, a harmonica, a fluted container for old nose hair, key chains, death puppet, a die last used by the grim reaper and two jawbreakers. Price sounds right.
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Jilltdcatlady 7 years ago
In my opinion that vase is 'Workin' It!" (Insert RuPaul body language here)
inhighspeed 6 years ago
Bad homophobic joke based on broad stereotypes. Can't wait to see the watermelon captioned "Black People's Favorite Food."
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Jilltdcatlady 7 years ago
All lettuce used by fast food joints today can trace their ancestry back to this chunk.
BusLady 7 years ago (edited)
It's the creature from the black lagoon. Well, his head, anyway. download-1...91e6b.jpeg 
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ispeak catanese 7 years ago
Every night that thing moves around your house to instigate terror. Like Elf on Shelf, but deadly.
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Eleanor Ragsdale 7 years ago
Maybe that statue and the "swan that just found out it's a vase" are connected somehow. They both are clearly having an identity crisis.
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Parmeisan 7 years ago
I'm guessing as a children's toy, to ride around on.
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John Barber 3 years ago
Hey Simon! Watch me turn this water into wine!. Now watch me turn this wine into barf.
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Sarah Noël 7 years ago
No, but seriously... just after this segment, the coat disintegrated. “Antiques Roadshow is NOT responsible for damages to personal items”
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ispeak catanese 7 years ago
Old Halloween treat container from the 70s? Santa looks like was shot and bleeding from the forehead.
WaffleFryLife 7 years ago
cos santa with the letters rearranged spells satan >;)
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Lynne Darroch 7 years ago
Yeah, there are entire social media threads to bad antique painting of children and babies for a reason.
Tanksear Industries 6 years ago
*baby burps and slurs words* Now listen here, buddy. This cat of mine, he, he talks to me an', and he f*cking says some weeeird sh*t. An'- And I don't care about it, though. He's a goood k-kitty. *burp*
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ispeak catanese 7 years ago
Who'd lug this huge POS to the show and wait hours for the chance to get on TV???
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Jilltdcatlady 7 years ago
You must admit they held up nicely. Also before basketball was invented.... the uniforms were a lot different back then.
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Jilltdcatlady 7 years ago
*If you try to sell the pieces separately they will bring a lower price than if sold as a set. Thank you for coming.
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Eleanor Ragsdale 7 years ago
Well actually, ... you're supposed to have a pendulum at the bottom. A pendulum is a swingy thing that swings back and forth and I don't know what exactly it does.
Jason Rogers 6 years ago
Well you see, the pendulum swings back and forth because it... oh wait...
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Parmeisan 7 years ago
Okay... it's kind of funny, because at first I just thought it said "A Lamp".
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Cora Fields 7 years ago
These are actually rhino horn tea cups and they were one of the most expensive things appraised on the show at around a million dollars. This picture shows the incorrect price.
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ispeak catanese 7 years ago
These are really beautiful. The one on wood looks like primitive NW art, which I know nothing about. The others are also very interesting.
Agnes Jekyll 7 years ago
T They look similar in style to Norval Morrisseau's work, but they are from the Woodland School--you can look up the artists
Load More Replies... Jilltdcatlady 7 years ago
Remembering what I can from the early 80-s... These are birds seen While partying.
Sarah Noël 7 years ago
These birds were at that ayahuasca ritual last weekend. This is their story.
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Jilltdcatlady 7 years ago
And, lo, the Saints did scoreth a touch down and the 12 apostles did rejoice.
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Jilltdcatlady 7 years ago
Check with the Russian deep sea trawler, they may have found one in their catch and it has a scientific name.
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funtime foxy 6 years ago
*bloodshot dumbledore walks in* yes, come take a huff-le-puff from Potters magical pipe *hits joint*
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Jilltdcatlady 7 years ago
*This cabinet has lost some value through the years, because it was originally a piece of c**p.
Fridericus Rex 6 years ago (edited)
I like how the cabinet it’s self is worth -$300 - -$500 dollars , like you’d actually get money for buying it
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ispeak catanese 7 years ago
Hung ever so professionally. "Henry bring 3 slacks hangers along!"
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Eleanor Ragsdale 7 years ago
I'd want that, death threat or not (hopefully the death threat doesn't actually apply because it was written to someone else).
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ispeak catanese 7 years ago (edited)
Wait, that appendage... near satan's bent knee... it's not his foot... Auuuugh!
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Eleanor Ragsdale 7 years ago
Weird wooden piano OMG I've never heard a guitar described that way.
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Rhaitsuni B 7 years ago
"Grandpa, your supposed to have the hearing aid in your ears, not forks!"
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Jilltdcatlady 7 years ago
Let this be a lesson. Don't leave your fine weapons on a window ledge where they can warp in the sun.
Kururi.Orihara 7 years ago
Ahh.....The sword is no longer straight!! (Interpret that however you wish!!)
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Amanda Ford 7 years ago
Not great because it sneaks up on you and will spook you in the dark in the middle of the night.
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WaffleFryLife 7 years ago
that spoon should be worth so much more... it created such a beautiful piece of artwork that nobody will forget...
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ispeak catanese 7 years ago
No way that quilt's an antique! But yes, those two are dying to make out.
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WaffleFryLife 7 years ago
it looks like one of those pumpkin carving tools that you use to outline your design
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MauKini 7 years ago
and there you have your future house in Floriada (or really wherever youd like it..)
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Jason Rogers 6 years ago
Ugh.... first instinct is to downvote but it was true so you got an upvote
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WaffleFryLife 7 years ago
if I was a dog i am that dog (wow that was some top notch grammaring)
Susann Campbell 7 years ago
You almost made it. grammaring ? took you out. LOL
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ispeak catanese 7 years ago (edited)
There must be one of these hidden in my house that I didn't know about. Sigh.
Rhaitsuni B 7 years ago
Look in the closet. That's where they usually hides in horror movies 😂
Load More Replies... Master Markus 7 years ago
Dammit, if you need a freaky clown to keep the people off of you, can we trade sex lives?
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Jilltdcatlady 7 years ago
*Lady does not come with items to hold. You must provide items, and photographer.
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WaffleFryLife 7 years ago
if my mom divorced my dad and married that... special person... i would leave. literally just move as far away as I could
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Jilltdcatlady 7 years ago
He is really regretting that deal with the devil where he wanted a never ending supply of coffee.
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Eleanor Ragsdale 7 years ago
it LOOKS like it's pointing at nothing. Is it saying ... is it burning men for their small thingies?
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ispeak catanese 7 years ago
The gentleman in the t-shirt can play my saxxxxx anytime. Sorry, this is a family website, I do apologize.
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ispeak catanese 7 years ago
This could be funerary art. John here died and they painted a veil over his portrait.
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WaffleFryLife 7 years ago
that face is a picture of me when someone has cookies and I want them
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Night Owl 7 years ago (edited)
Strong and beautiful, no wonder he was voted into the office; but I'm not sure how I feel about buying senators ... shouldn't they be incorruptible or something?
Tanksear Industries 6 years ago
Cory Gardner should read this... TAKE THAT NRA!
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Amanda Ford 7 years ago
Like Toujin C'Thlu suggested, watch "The Jerk" especially. It'll help.
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Angel Andersen 7 years ago
Who would be selling fake Sonic the Hedgehog skin????
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BusLady 7 years ago
Double shriek! Whatever did they take to board meetings?
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minerva15 7 years ago
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