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Woman Backs Out Of Deal To Babysit Sister’s Kids After Sister Lets Her Move In To Do Just That
Mom and 20-year-old sister sitting on couch discussing childcare and babysitting responsibilities at home.

Woman Backs Out Of Deal To Babysit Sister’s Kids After Sister Lets Her Move In To Do Just That

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You’re pretty much expected to go the extra mile for family, but there have got to be some limits in place, or you might end up with a feud on your hands. And let’s face it, nobody needs drama that could have been skipped by setting some simple boundaries.

One woman is at her wits’ end after her younger sister, who moved in two years ago on the condition she would help out with childcare, brazenly backed out of the babysitting deal and has been mooching off her ever since. She took her troubles to an online community.

More info: Reddit

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    You’re expected to go the extra mile for family, but being asked to go too far can make things awkward for everyone

    Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    One woman’s sister was stuck in a rotten relationship, so she invited her to stay with her and her husband, as long as she picked up babysitting duty for the couple’s kids

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    Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    It didn’t take long, however, before her sister started complaining that the constant childcare was making her depressed, so the woman found someone else to do it

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    Image credits: Grinvalds / Freepik (not the actual photo)

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    Two years later, the woman’s sister was back on her feet, but refused to help out at home, skipping all chores and living rent-free

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    Image credits: Glad-Price-5340

    Then she sent the woman and her husband a text moaning about babysitting again, so now the woman’s asking netizens if she’d be a jerk for kicking her out

    When the original poster (OP) took in her troubled younger sister, the arrangement was simple: free housing, access to a car, and a small weekly payment in exchange for babysitting. Two years later, however, the setup spiraled into resentment. OP’s sister stopped helping out altogether, yet still lived rent-free, leaving tension in the household at a boiling point.

    Despite agreeing to childcare duties at first, OP’s sister now refuses almost every request and doesn’t chip in with bills, chores, or groceries. What started out as OP’s lifeline for a sibling in need had slowly descended into an exhausting burden.

    The breaking point arrived when OP’s sister sent her a long text message while she was out with her husband. She insisted she wasn’t being “ungrateful,” but said she felt “used as a service” and underappreciated. She also argued that watching kids she didn’t choose to have wasn’t her responsibility.

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    Now OP feels stuck. Her husband is sick and tired of supporting an unhelpful adult, but she’s torn between family loyalty and fairness. She’s since turned to netizens to ask if giving her mooching sister the boot would make her a jerk.

    Image credits: prostock-studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)

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    From what OP tells us in her post, her sister seems to be hopelessly entitled. We’ve all met someone like that, right? Folks who strut around like the world owes them something.

    So, why do some people think like this? And what’s the best way to deal when they’re a family member? We went digging for some expert insights.

    WebMD says entitlement mentality is defined as a sense of deservingness, even when nothing has been done to deserve special treatment. Basically, a “you owe me” attitude. 

    While it’s not exactly known how this mentality develops, the pros agree it’s a narcissistic personality trait that may rear its ugly head due to social factors. Things like the environment you grew up in, the way your parents treated you, whether adults solved all your problems for you, or how you were treated by authority figures.

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    Writing for Psychology Today, Abigail Brenner says that sometimes we’re just dropped into situations we have zero control over. Like being related, for example. Apparently, what often makes family members the trickiest to deal with is the fact that they’re connected to us in a more complex and intimate way than friends, colleagues, or neighbors. 

    Perhaps it’s time for OP to set some reality-checking boundaries, if not month-end marching orders, if her sister refuses to wake up and do some actual adulting.

    What do you think? Does OP’s mooching sister deserve the boot, or is her text worth a second look? Share your opinion in the comments!   

    In the comments, readers all agreed that the woman was not the jerk in the situation, slammed the flaky sister for her audacity, and said she had to go

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    Ivan Ayliffe

    Ivan Ayliffe

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    After twenty years in advertising, I've decided to try my hand at journalism. I'm lucky enough to be based in Cape Town, South Africa and use every opportunity I get to explore everything it has to offer, both indoors and out. When I'm not reading, writing, or listening to podcasts, I spend my time swimming in the ocean, running mountain trails, and skydiving. While I haven't travelled as much as I'd like, I did live in !ndia, which was an incredible experience. Oh, and I love live music. I hope you enjoy my stories!

    Read less »
    Ivan Ayliffe

    Ivan Ayliffe

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    After twenty years in advertising, I've decided to try my hand at journalism. I'm lucky enough to be based in Cape Town, South Africa and use every opportunity I get to explore everything it has to offer, both indoors and out. When I'm not reading, writing, or listening to podcasts, I spend my time swimming in the ocean, running mountain trails, and skydiving. While I haven't travelled as much as I'd like, I did live in !ndia, which was an incredible experience. Oh, and I love live music. I hope you enjoy my stories!

    What do you think ?
    Paul C
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Simple, give her notice to move out. Problem solved. Don't bite the hand that is feeding you. Or in this case, giving you a free roof over your head.

    Lee Gilliland
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's not paying rent. There is no better way of teaching respect than taking her toys away. Bounce her.

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    Kate Johnson
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sadly I've had a similar experience. It's time for sis to go and make her own way in life. It's fine to help someone for a brief time, but this situation has gone on too long and now entitled sister, who brings almost nothing at all to the table to compensate for her free rent and use of car has decided it's her "due" and she should be expected to provide any services for what she receives. I'd give her 30 days to move out. She's got a job, she should be paying her own way entirely. She's not disabled, she's an adult. She should be entirely responsible for herself. I'd ask sister, "So exactly what do you bring to the table to make it worth it for us to be paying the majority of your bills? Oh, that's right, little to nothing"

    Suzie
    Community Member
    2 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If she's working full time and not contributing anything to the household monetarily or upkeep of chores then she can go live elsewhere. Maybe after paying all the bills on her own and cleaning her own space she might decide watching the kids occasionally wasn't such a bad deal. Although you have to love the comment about babysitting being "all I'm good for." She's not even good for that.

    Zoe Vokes
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sister has no idea how good she’s got it. I could understand them not charging her rent if they meant for her to save up and move out soon but that doesn’t seem to have been a previous conversation. So she’s not paying rent and is refusing to do any help around the house. She’s complaining about having to do small favours in return for a massive favour. It’s time to go. Their house will be quieter for OP and husband without her.

    Load More Replies...
    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I moved back home a year ago after living with my boyfriend (now ex) for three years. (We were together for 24 years and y'all know how bad the relationship was, lol.) My mom owns a second house next door to the house I grew up in (she knocked down the wall between the backyards, so it's two houses on one lot.) I've been living by myself, rent-free, in that second house, with my minor horde of pets. I pay all the utilities/internet myself, but never paid rent, even when I was living here before moving in with now-ex. However, whenever my mom/sister have a problem with their TVs, computers, or any other tech next door (which is pretty much every day, lol) I go over and fix it (and listen to hours of my mom's stories while over there...) When they go on their (frequent) vacations, I bring in their mail, water their plants, etc. and run the family business alone. If you're living somewhere rent-free, even with family, you gotta contribute in SOME way, IMO!

    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Sorry this didn't work out, we will get someone else in so please start packing up and getting ready to move out."

    Mark Childers
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's always a bad choice to let a friend or a family member stay with you for longer than a week or two, or there will be problems. Everyone is used to their own ways of doing things, the time and what to eat, shows to watch, and so much more that tensions start to build, and it's always better to end the situation before it erupts. Once everyone is back to their respective homes, they'll only remember the good bits about it, unless they let it simmer to the point the relationship can't be repaired. Best for everyone to end the cohabitation, as long as it's done reasonably and kindly instead of just kicking her out.

    Mike F
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You start charging market rent plus a portion of the bills and the problem will solve itself. She will run like her @ss is on fire.

    Emilu
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If she genuinely feels like she's being hard done by, she should discuss it with OP. If it's just because "you want me to look after your children when I have *my* stuff to do (despite being reimbursed for looking after your children)??" then nah, she can go her own way.

    Ray Bolen
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wouldn't even ask her to move. Her stuff goes on the porch. tell voldemort to go see if hogwort will take her

    Load More Comments
    Paul C
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Simple, give her notice to move out. Problem solved. Don't bite the hand that is feeding you. Or in this case, giving you a free roof over your head.

    Lee Gilliland
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's not paying rent. There is no better way of teaching respect than taking her toys away. Bounce her.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    Kate Johnson
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sadly I've had a similar experience. It's time for sis to go and make her own way in life. It's fine to help someone for a brief time, but this situation has gone on too long and now entitled sister, who brings almost nothing at all to the table to compensate for her free rent and use of car has decided it's her "due" and she should be expected to provide any services for what she receives. I'd give her 30 days to move out. She's got a job, she should be paying her own way entirely. She's not disabled, she's an adult. She should be entirely responsible for herself. I'd ask sister, "So exactly what do you bring to the table to make it worth it for us to be paying the majority of your bills? Oh, that's right, little to nothing"

    Suzie
    Community Member
    2 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If she's working full time and not contributing anything to the household monetarily or upkeep of chores then she can go live elsewhere. Maybe after paying all the bills on her own and cleaning her own space she might decide watching the kids occasionally wasn't such a bad deal. Although you have to love the comment about babysitting being "all I'm good for." She's not even good for that.

    Zoe Vokes
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sister has no idea how good she’s got it. I could understand them not charging her rent if they meant for her to save up and move out soon but that doesn’t seem to have been a previous conversation. So she’s not paying rent and is refusing to do any help around the house. She’s complaining about having to do small favours in return for a massive favour. It’s time to go. Their house will be quieter for OP and husband without her.

    Load More Replies...
    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I moved back home a year ago after living with my boyfriend (now ex) for three years. (We were together for 24 years and y'all know how bad the relationship was, lol.) My mom owns a second house next door to the house I grew up in (she knocked down the wall between the backyards, so it's two houses on one lot.) I've been living by myself, rent-free, in that second house, with my minor horde of pets. I pay all the utilities/internet myself, but never paid rent, even when I was living here before moving in with now-ex. However, whenever my mom/sister have a problem with their TVs, computers, or any other tech next door (which is pretty much every day, lol) I go over and fix it (and listen to hours of my mom's stories while over there...) When they go on their (frequent) vacations, I bring in their mail, water their plants, etc. and run the family business alone. If you're living somewhere rent-free, even with family, you gotta contribute in SOME way, IMO!

    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Sorry this didn't work out, we will get someone else in so please start packing up and getting ready to move out."

    Mark Childers
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's always a bad choice to let a friend or a family member stay with you for longer than a week or two, or there will be problems. Everyone is used to their own ways of doing things, the time and what to eat, shows to watch, and so much more that tensions start to build, and it's always better to end the situation before it erupts. Once everyone is back to their respective homes, they'll only remember the good bits about it, unless they let it simmer to the point the relationship can't be repaired. Best for everyone to end the cohabitation, as long as it's done reasonably and kindly instead of just kicking her out.

    Mike F
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You start charging market rent plus a portion of the bills and the problem will solve itself. She will run like her @ss is on fire.

    Emilu
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If she genuinely feels like she's being hard done by, she should discuss it with OP. If it's just because "you want me to look after your children when I have *my* stuff to do (despite being reimbursed for looking after your children)??" then nah, she can go her own way.

    Ray Bolen
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wouldn't even ask her to move. Her stuff goes on the porch. tell voldemort to go see if hogwort will take her

    Load More Comments
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