Couple Refuse To Pay $3-4K To Attend Destination Wedding, Bride Goes No-Contact
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A wedding can be expensive not only for those who throw it but also for those who attend.
For example, when Redditor CakeAndDiamond received an invitation to her younger sister’s destination wedding, she ran the numbers and, together with her own husband, they would have needed to pay around $3,000-$4,000.
Without having the necessary funds, the couple replied that they couldn’t make it. However, in a post on the subreddit ‘Entitled People,’ CakeAndDiamond explained that her sister refused to take no for an answer and demanded that she put her life on pause and go into debt for the trip.
A woman declined an invitation to her younger sister’s destination wedding because of how expensive the trip would have been
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But she refused to take no for an answer
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Image credits: cakeanddiamond
The bride has a history of picking fights with the family
We got in touch with CakeAndDiamond and she agreed to tell us more about what happened.
“My sister and I had a decent relationship growing up but it had its ups and downs since she displayed traits of being spoiled and narcissistic from a young age,” the Redditor explained to Bored Panda. “She had been steadily getting worse over the years. She was always picking fights with the family.”
CakeAndDiamond said that things haven’t improved since the fallout at all. “We are all still no contact with her and it’s been over a year. I don’t see that changing, not with me at least. I think my parents are relieved to not be abused anymore but sad about the situation. I think they would probably stay no contact with her even if she tried to come back into our lives. We don’t really have any other family for input but she has a history of being disliked.”
People shouldn’t be obliged to attend every wedding they’re invited to
According to a survey from Bankrate, on average, wedding guests planned on spending $611 per event in 2023. This sum includes spending on gifts, clothing and beauty, plus travel and accommodations.
But, as we saw from this story, special celebrations can be even more expensive. However, an invitation isn’t an obligation.
“You aren’t being selfish if you can’t go because the cost is too high. You’re being responsible,” personal finance expert Michelle Singletary wrote.
“Let the budget be the bad guy and tell the person, ‘I just can’t afford to go,'” she told CBS News. In other words, you’re not committing a sin for not attending.
However, Singletary doesn’t begrudge couples for hosting destination weddings, either. “I think people do it because that’s where they want to have their wedding. That’s fine,” she said. “But don’t expect people to come if they can’t afford it.”
Those hosts who really care about the attendance should consider their invitees’ finances. If the Redditor’s sister wanted her family to be there for her, she probably needed to remain mindful of their financial circumstances.
“I personally think that when you plan your wedding, you ought to be considerate of who can come and who you want to come,” Singletary added.
If the couple’s hearts are set on a particular destination that could be challenging for their loved ones to reach, they can consider going there for their honeymoon, not the wedding itself. This relieves guests who might be on tight budgets of making a hard decision that could be detrimental to their financial well-being.
“If it was your day, you would just get married with just your attendant and a witness,” Singletary said. “It’s a day you want to share with people, so don’t think of it as a selfish thing, think of it as, ‘Who do I want to come, and what is the most affordable way to have this event.'”
The original poster (OP) answered people’s questions in the comments
And remained in the discussion as the story went viral
I knew someone who had a destination wedding for the sole purpose of making sure certain relatives would not attend. They got an invite so they wouldn’t feel totally snubbed. Worked for her, she enjoyed her wedding.
Similar. I had a destination wedding that was free for all guests. I’d invited 30, along with our wedding party. We also invited just under 200 for a local reception dinner. In lieu of gifts we had 4 charities they were welcome to contribute. We were very clear on both events that “presence, not presents, were what we were requesting.” We explained the ceremony was a small “family” event so no one felt left out. One couple & 2 individuals asked if they could join us for the ceremony on their dime. We folded them into the event & refused to let them pay. Had we known attending was that important to them, we’d have initially invited them. It was a finely nuanced line, but ended up no one felt left out or obligated. To be fair, we were the poster boys for a civil union iniative in Hawaii & for a CA measure to not change the constitution to define marriage as “man/woman.” The orgs helped cover the cost of flight, hotel, cars/activities & filmed us for the campaigns. It was very stress free.
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I knew someone who had a destination wedding for the sole purpose of making sure certain relatives would not attend. They got an invite so they wouldn’t feel totally snubbed. Worked for her, she enjoyed her wedding.
Similar. I had a destination wedding that was free for all guests. I’d invited 30, along with our wedding party. We also invited just under 200 for a local reception dinner. In lieu of gifts we had 4 charities they were welcome to contribute. We were very clear on both events that “presence, not presents, were what we were requesting.” We explained the ceremony was a small “family” event so no one felt left out. One couple & 2 individuals asked if they could join us for the ceremony on their dime. We folded them into the event & refused to let them pay. Had we known attending was that important to them, we’d have initially invited them. It was a finely nuanced line, but ended up no one felt left out or obligated. To be fair, we were the poster boys for a civil union iniative in Hawaii & for a CA measure to not change the constitution to define marriage as “man/woman.” The orgs helped cover the cost of flight, hotel, cars/activities & filmed us for the campaigns. It was very stress free.
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