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“[Am I The Jerk] For Dyeing My Hair Orange And Not Caring About The Feelings Of A Classmate?”
Interview With ExpertIt’s estimated that only 2% of the world’s population is ginger, which is why it’s such a rare and amazing occurrence. Unfortunately, this uniqueness has also made things tough for redheaded folks who’ve been bullied just because of the color of their hair.
This is exactly why a ginger teen got mad when his classmate got a lot of compliments from people after he dyed his hair bright orange. It made the teen feel mocked and attacked, but this didn’t make any sense to his classmate, who didn’t see it as a big deal.
More info: Reddit
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Redheaded people often tend to get picked on for being different, which can be tough to deal with
Image credits: Ambreen / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster shared that he got his hair dyed orange yesterday after his cosmetologist sister offered him $20 to do it, and he ended up liking how it looked
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
When he went to school, many people complimented him on his hair, but a ginger classmate accused him of “mocking” his experience
Image credits: zinkevych / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The redhead teen, who often got bullied for his hair, felt it was unfair that the poster could dye his hair a similar color and still escape the stigma he faced
Image credits: orangehairedasian
The poster laughed off the confrontation with his classmate, but later wondered if he had been a jerk for reacting like that to the other teen
The OP had only gotten his hair dyed to appease his sister, and out of two other bright choices she offered, he felt that orange was his best bet. When it turned out great, he was glad and ended up liking it even more when his classmates complimented him. The only problem he faced was when a ginger teen confronted him, saying that his hair was a mockery of his lived experience.
According to studies, more than 90% of redheads have faced discrimination simply because of their hair color. This type of bullying is difficult to deal with, which is why so many ginger children have felt anxious or less confident about themselves growing up. This is probably why the redhead teen had such an extreme reaction to the poster’s hair color.
He felt that the OP was mocking him by getting his hair dyed bright orange, and he also couldn’t believe how everyone was complimenting the poster. That’s why he stated that it was an “attack” on him because he would still get bullied for his natural hair color, while the OP wouldn’t have to face that at all.
To get a better insight into this situation, Bored Panda reached out to Adrienne and Stephanie Vendetti, who are sisters and founders of How to be a Redhead. They’ve been empowering redheads since 2011, were featured on Shark Tank, and run a beauty/lifestyle brand specifically for redheads.
They explained that “a lot of natural redheads grow up navigating a very specific experience—standing out from day one, getting unwanted comments, getting their freckles counted, jokes, bullying, or just always being ‘the redhead’ in every room.”
“It becomes part of your identity whether you like it or not. When you’ve spent your whole life dealing with the hard parts of being a natural redhead, it can stir up some real emotions to suddenly see someone choose the same look and get praised for it. It feels unfair that someone gets the ‘fun’ version of something that was difficult for them,” Adrienne and Stephanie added.
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster didn’t realize why his classmate was so angry and felt that the other teen was overreacting. That’s why he laughed off the boy’s behavior and didn’t engage with the conflict anymore. It’s only when his girlfriend later pointed out that his behavior might have been rude that he began to reflect on his actions.
When disagreements like this crop up between peers, it’s important to give each other space first to cool down. Experts state that when teens or young adults are discussing an emotionally charged matter, they should try to put themselves in the other person’s shoes to understand how they are feeling.
The OP did think about his behavior and felt guilty about laughing at his classmate’s words. He decided to find the other teen the next day and apologize for his behavior, as he didn’t realize how his words came across in the moment. Hopefully, this will help mend things between them and make the redhead teen feel more comfortable.
We also asked Adrienne and Stephanie whether dying one’s hair orange is a mockery of the ginger experience. They said: “No, we don’t. We’ve been running ‘How to be a Redhead’ for 15 years, and we’ve always taken the stance that imitation is a form of flattery. People dye their hair red because it’s beautiful, unique, and bold—and that should be celebrated.”
“Dyed red hair doesn’t take anything away from natural redheads. The lived experience is completely different, and the teen was reacting to his personal history, not the hair dye. But in our opinion, dyed red/orange hair isn’t mockery—it’s admiration. If anything, it shows how much people love the look that natural redheads have always had,” they added.
It’s also important to note that seeing people adopt one’s insecurities as trends might be painful at first, but it can also be empowering to see that these characteristics are being embraced. It would also be great if this happens for the ginger teen as a result of the OP’s new hair color, and if people change their rude behavior toward him.
How do you feel about this conflict between the poster and his classmate, and whose side are you on? Let us know what you think in the comments below.
Most people sided with the poster and felt that he had done nothing wrong by getting his hair colored bright orange
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What do you think ?
Karl der Große 3 weeks ago
I shaved my head in senior year. A junior from the swim team confronted me and said, "Shaving your head belongs to the swim team!" and stood there huffing in my face. Someone told me asked some other guys from the swim team to help him beat me up.
Austzn 3 weeks ago
The older I get the more I realize a lot of human social problems stem from people's own insecurities.
Load More Replies... Karl der Große 3 weeks ago
I shaved my head in senior year. A junior from the swim team confronted me and said, "Shaving your head belongs to the swim team!" and stood there huffing in my face. Someone told me asked some other guys from the swim team to help him beat me up.
Austzn 3 weeks ago
The older I get the more I realize a lot of human social problems stem from people's own insecurities.
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