“He Flipped Out On Me And I Took His Invitation Back”: Bride-To-Be Organizes A ‘Dry’ Wedding, Outrages One Of Her Guests
Quick, Pandas, close your eyes and try to imagine all of the things that weddings simply cannot do without. Odds are that you probably thought of a giant, delicious wedding cake, the happy couple smiling wider than you’ve ever seen them, fun/silly/awesome dancing all night long, frilly decorations, and throwing the bouquet. However, for some people, weddings have to have alcohol—and they won’t take ‘no’ for an answer.
Case in point, redditor u/Mammoth-Middle2910, a bride-to-be, decided to have a dry wedding with her fiance. Since neither of them drink, they didn’t want to spend money on alcohol. However, one of her friends was outraged by this decision. The bride clapped back, and decided to turn to the AITA online community for their verdict if she’d been too harsh or right on the money.
Scroll down for the full story below, Pandas. Whose side are you on? Have you ever been to a dry wedding before? What do you love about weddings the most? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments.
One couple decided that their wedding is going to be dry—without any alcohol for the guests
Image credits: Luis Tosta (not the actual photo)
However, one of the bride-to-be’s friends had a huge issue with that. Here’s how their argument went
Image credits: Photos by Lanty (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Mammoth-Middle2910
The subject of drinking alcohol can be incredibly touchy. If you’ve ever told someone that you’re not drinking at a party, you probably had to deflect dozens of questions about all the little whys, hows, and whens, and if you’re able to have fun at all.
The simple fact is that, yes, it’s perfectly possible to have a great party and a wedding celebration without the need for booze. On the flip side, having a glass of champagne at a celebration of life and love also isn’t the end of the world.
However, all things considered, it all comes down to what the happy couple envisions for their Big Day. The OP explained that all of their friends and family know that they don’t drink alcohol and that they’ve hosted a number of dry parties before. So it’s not unusual for the couple to want to save a bit of money on alcohol at their wedding. They even had a very witty way of announcing it to their guests on the invitations (we thought it was very creative).
What made the bride-to-be write the post in the first place was due to how she called out her guest who’d said he can’t have fun without alcohol. The AITA subreddit’s community took the OP’s side and stressed the fact that it’s the couple’s wedding and money, so they shouldn’t have to compromise if they don’t want to.
The majority of redditors thought that the OP did nothing wrong. Though quite a few also thought she was wrong to deny her guests the ability to have an alcoholic drink at the celebration. This, in turn, plays into what some internet users called the normalization of alcohol culture.
The science behind the consumption of alcohol has been swinging back and forth for quite some time now. Just like with the research done about coffee and eggs, scientists can’t firmly decide whether or not drinking alcohol in small doses is beneficial or detrimental to your health. (Though there’s no doubt that binge drinking is absolutely awful for you and should be avoided at all costs.)
So while some researchers point out that moderate drinking might make you less susceptible to having heart attacks and strokes and provides a host of other benefits, others point out that drinking any amount of alcohol actually increases your risk of heart disease.
The health improvements seen in moderate drinkers might not actually be directly caused by alcohol consumption, though. Moderate drinkers tend to live healthier lives than heavy drinkers and abstinence: they tend to exercise more, eat more veggies, and smoke less.
In short, the science isn’t conclusive and flip-flops back and forth a little bit, but it’s best to either consume no alcohol at all or have it in very low doses. If you feel like you can’t go to a party or a social gathering without having a few drinks, or that you simply can’t enjoy yourself without alcohol, it might be worth considering seeing a therapist. And it’s certainly no excuse to get angry at your friend and bride-to-be if she wants to have a dry wedding.
Most people thought that the author of the post did nothing wrong
However, some internet users had different opinions. They called the bride-to-be out for her behavior
NTA. Their wedding, their rules. I would go to a wedding even if they served only water. It's about the wedding, not the booze.
Exactly. If you don't like the rules for a wedding then just don't go. The last wedding I attended was a dry wedding for religious reasons and absolutely nobody had a problem with it. We were there to see our friend get married and provide her with a happy memory, not party all night like it was some college frat house.
Their wedding their rules, if you don´t like them, don´t go. BUT: I DO think it makes a difference, if the reason is: "We totally don´t mind it, but as we personally don´t need it either, we rather save money than do our guests that favor..."
Completely agree Mary Lou, their rules, but it does indeed make a difference. I've been to many a wedding, mainly Catholic/C of E Seikh & Hindu, I have a Muslim brother in law, he has beer every now and then too. They have all been banging memorable affairs. The few weddings I've been to with no booze, they've been nice & pleasant but after a short while people are quietly checking their watches. Also, having a few drinks at a wedding doesn't make you an alcoholic on any level, according to a few of the puritan posts on this thread.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
That's not what's being questioned. You're supposed "friends" wedding is entirely different due to religious reasoning not being a cheap condescending snob. I doubt your friend even likes you, nobody likes Mondays... You probably ruined her wedding showing up. But anyway she is the a*shole for attacking her friend over him more then likely busting her balls over the bar which sounds like something somebody in their mid twenties would do not something an alcoholic would. I've yet to be to a wedding with a bar that's turned into a "frat" party. Backyard wedding, that's a different story. You sound like a whole bunch of fun. Like I said nobody likes Mondays, you should talk to your parents about that. They probably named you that because they don't like you either
it doesn't matter. Think about your guests too, not just yourself.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
That's not really why the question is being asked. YTA because she was being a cheap condescending snob. She knew this because she got angry at him for busting her balls about it and attacked his character. She also stated that the only reason she wasn't having a bar was over money. Regardless of what the event is it's common courtesy to take care of your guests. As others have stated calling someone an alcoholic is pretty shitty and in this case probably not true. Alcoholics don't drink for fun and more then likely wouldn't attend the wedding even if there was free booze unless really obligated too like it's their sister or other close relative. And in this situation an alcoholic would just bring booze anyway without asking or complaining.
So your saying that people are obligated to go into debt to provide something at their wedding that they(the people getting married. AKA the people who they whole day is about anyway) won't even use. That's just stupid
I agree with your Occam's Razor dissection of the previous comment! Lately, I've calling people out on their entitled assumptions. It's kind of cathartic. And hopefully it will spark some (inner) dialogue about expectations. And obligations. Sheeit, my husband and I got married at city hall. Of course, it was the second marriage for both of us; he was 39 and I was 37 at the time. We weren't about to waste money on other people's expectations or should-itises or addictions. And, come this Halloween, it will be 22 years. And now that I'm old enough to not give a s**t about what other people think (one of the greatest perks of growing old -- you youngsters have no idea of the liberation!), it just makes me laugh -- the idea if someone telling me I have to spring for booze on MY special day! In a way, I've gotten bitchier over the years, but I also laugh at the world a lot more. It's a good trade.
I think poor Danny boy might have a bit of a drinking problem.
The commenters coming at the OP with YTA or even a soft YTA? The f**k...anyone who asks how they're supposed to have fun without alcohol without a shred of irony seriously needs an intervention. She wasn't being holier than thou...she was responding to a seriously f****d up statement. I drink alot...like, alot. But if someone threw a dry wedding I'd still go because you're there for them, not the alcohol. If you're there for the alcohol, then yea...time to look for help.
The YTA commenters are obviously alcoholics.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Wouldn´t it bother you, that the sole reason is saving money on something they personally don´t mind, but just don´t care about? "we don´t drink and see no point (sic!) in spending money for alcohol" Like how about: it´s no obligation and nothing to get angry about, but it´s just telling, if someone really can´t see the point of paying a little extra (for the bar service) to do their guests a favor...
Why should that reason “bother” anyone? They’re trying to save money; it just happens to work out that neither the bride nor groom drink. That’s like criticizing them for inviting 75 people instead of 7,500.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
No it really isn´t. It´s about doing people you care for a favor. You don´t have to, but it´s telling if you don´t feel the notion at all and rather save the money (for even just bar service), not because money is really an issue (not enough to give it as a reason), but you just cause you don´t see the point of doing others a favor and spend money on them to make them happy with something that doesn´t make a difference to you... It would bother me to realize my friends are egoists, as for you "Well-Dressed Wolf" it obviously wouldn´t and that´s okay
No- what’s “telling” is that you believe you are ENTITLED to get drunk and suggesting that the only way the couple can show their appreciation for their friends and family is by providing booze. Get help. You clearly need it.
They are not banning drink, just not providing it. If a lot of the guests smoked, but the bridal family didnt, should they pay for a smoking shelter?
Another MAGA person obviously
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
It´s not about what they should - they are absolutely entitled to not pay extra to make their guests happy! It´s just doesn´t makes them people I´d rather not be friend with... If say a lot of my friends and family were chain smokers and for some reason it would be inconvenient to just smoke outside (like they´d otherwise have to stand out in the bitter cold to smoke or so), I´d totally pay something extra to do them that favor and if money was tight I´d organize the option to have them pay for it if they want to. As I said in another post: it´s like not providing dessert or cake at your wedding because you don´t like it. I´d still provide a cake to make the people I care and love happy. I also prefer friends who are like that. You don´t and so it doesn´t bother you so that´s why I was asking and now I know...
If people can’t make it through a few hours with alcohol- if they literally can’t find a way to have fun without it and feel like the event isn’t worth attending without it- they have a problem. There will be food, friends, dancing- if that’s not enough- that’s alarming. How is it so many people genuinely believe there’s no way to have a good time without getting hammered? That’s just insane. Get help.
F
I wouldn't mind. They don't owe the guests alcohol. It's their wedding, they can do/don't do anything for any reason.
No, because it's THEIR wedding, not mine.
No. Why would it bother you? Is it your wedding?
OTOH, if the sole reason you're going to someone's wedding is so that you can get drunk for free ...
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
First of all princess you sound as stuck up as the bride. Something tells me as much of a douche as you seem to be on the Internet you probably don't get a lot of invites to much of anything. You have no idea if the guy was just kidding around. She wasn't just being holier than thou she was being cheap arrogant. The fact she got mad about it shows she knew she was being a cheap skank. The wedding is about the couple but these people are still your friend and more importantly your guests. Anytime I've invited anyone to anything I pay for everything it's common courtesy. If you can't afford it or are to cheap than do something small and happy instead of big and miserable. It's clear you know nothing of alcoholism because if this guy was an alcoholic he probably wouldn't go let alone complain about it in the first place and if it was a situation where he was obligated to show than he would just bring alcohol anyway. Alcoholics don't drink for fun.
First of all, YTA. It's clear you have no self-awareness and expect others to cater to your needs. It's clear you know nothing about alcoholism because most people that are active alcoholics are in total denial of that fact. To throw in, you're also a sexist. Anybody that calls someone princess as if it is an insult needs a reality check.
Yo, Dan. You seem to have a “holier than thou” attitude yourself. The “Princess” is right & so was the bride…The man asked her if she was joking about not serving alcohol THREE times before he got upset over it, so NO, he wasn’t kidding. And wow, you called the bride a “cheap skank” because the couple decided not to put alcohol on the menu…I bet you don’t get many invites either.
This guy is obviously MAGA Trumptard
You sound like you've adjusted well to being a snowflake. Congratulations.
Im going as far as saying truth apparently hurts.. If you can't have fun without alcohol.. that indicates you are dependent and that makes you an alcoholic. And a wedding is however the to be married couple wants it to be.
I've never seen the fun in waking up with a hangover and lapses in your memory. I like a drink now and then but things are plenty fun without it.
NTA. Their wedding, their rules. I would go to a wedding even if they served only water. It's about the wedding, not the booze.
Exactly. If you don't like the rules for a wedding then just don't go. The last wedding I attended was a dry wedding for religious reasons and absolutely nobody had a problem with it. We were there to see our friend get married and provide her with a happy memory, not party all night like it was some college frat house.
Their wedding their rules, if you don´t like them, don´t go. BUT: I DO think it makes a difference, if the reason is: "We totally don´t mind it, but as we personally don´t need it either, we rather save money than do our guests that favor..."
Completely agree Mary Lou, their rules, but it does indeed make a difference. I've been to many a wedding, mainly Catholic/C of E Seikh & Hindu, I have a Muslim brother in law, he has beer every now and then too. They have all been banging memorable affairs. The few weddings I've been to with no booze, they've been nice & pleasant but after a short while people are quietly checking their watches. Also, having a few drinks at a wedding doesn't make you an alcoholic on any level, according to a few of the puritan posts on this thread.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
That's not what's being questioned. You're supposed "friends" wedding is entirely different due to religious reasoning not being a cheap condescending snob. I doubt your friend even likes you, nobody likes Mondays... You probably ruined her wedding showing up. But anyway she is the a*shole for attacking her friend over him more then likely busting her balls over the bar which sounds like something somebody in their mid twenties would do not something an alcoholic would. I've yet to be to a wedding with a bar that's turned into a "frat" party. Backyard wedding, that's a different story. You sound like a whole bunch of fun. Like I said nobody likes Mondays, you should talk to your parents about that. They probably named you that because they don't like you either
it doesn't matter. Think about your guests too, not just yourself.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
That's not really why the question is being asked. YTA because she was being a cheap condescending snob. She knew this because she got angry at him for busting her balls about it and attacked his character. She also stated that the only reason she wasn't having a bar was over money. Regardless of what the event is it's common courtesy to take care of your guests. As others have stated calling someone an alcoholic is pretty shitty and in this case probably not true. Alcoholics don't drink for fun and more then likely wouldn't attend the wedding even if there was free booze unless really obligated too like it's their sister or other close relative. And in this situation an alcoholic would just bring booze anyway without asking or complaining.
So your saying that people are obligated to go into debt to provide something at their wedding that they(the people getting married. AKA the people who they whole day is about anyway) won't even use. That's just stupid
I agree with your Occam's Razor dissection of the previous comment! Lately, I've calling people out on their entitled assumptions. It's kind of cathartic. And hopefully it will spark some (inner) dialogue about expectations. And obligations. Sheeit, my husband and I got married at city hall. Of course, it was the second marriage for both of us; he was 39 and I was 37 at the time. We weren't about to waste money on other people's expectations or should-itises or addictions. And, come this Halloween, it will be 22 years. And now that I'm old enough to not give a s**t about what other people think (one of the greatest perks of growing old -- you youngsters have no idea of the liberation!), it just makes me laugh -- the idea if someone telling me I have to spring for booze on MY special day! In a way, I've gotten bitchier over the years, but I also laugh at the world a lot more. It's a good trade.
I think poor Danny boy might have a bit of a drinking problem.
The commenters coming at the OP with YTA or even a soft YTA? The f**k...anyone who asks how they're supposed to have fun without alcohol without a shred of irony seriously needs an intervention. She wasn't being holier than thou...she was responding to a seriously f****d up statement. I drink alot...like, alot. But if someone threw a dry wedding I'd still go because you're there for them, not the alcohol. If you're there for the alcohol, then yea...time to look for help.
The YTA commenters are obviously alcoholics.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Wouldn´t it bother you, that the sole reason is saving money on something they personally don´t mind, but just don´t care about? "we don´t drink and see no point (sic!) in spending money for alcohol" Like how about: it´s no obligation and nothing to get angry about, but it´s just telling, if someone really can´t see the point of paying a little extra (for the bar service) to do their guests a favor...
Why should that reason “bother” anyone? They’re trying to save money; it just happens to work out that neither the bride nor groom drink. That’s like criticizing them for inviting 75 people instead of 7,500.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
No it really isn´t. It´s about doing people you care for a favor. You don´t have to, but it´s telling if you don´t feel the notion at all and rather save the money (for even just bar service), not because money is really an issue (not enough to give it as a reason), but you just cause you don´t see the point of doing others a favor and spend money on them to make them happy with something that doesn´t make a difference to you... It would bother me to realize my friends are egoists, as for you "Well-Dressed Wolf" it obviously wouldn´t and that´s okay
No- what’s “telling” is that you believe you are ENTITLED to get drunk and suggesting that the only way the couple can show their appreciation for their friends and family is by providing booze. Get help. You clearly need it.
They are not banning drink, just not providing it. If a lot of the guests smoked, but the bridal family didnt, should they pay for a smoking shelter?
Another MAGA person obviously
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
It´s not about what they should - they are absolutely entitled to not pay extra to make their guests happy! It´s just doesn´t makes them people I´d rather not be friend with... If say a lot of my friends and family were chain smokers and for some reason it would be inconvenient to just smoke outside (like they´d otherwise have to stand out in the bitter cold to smoke or so), I´d totally pay something extra to do them that favor and if money was tight I´d organize the option to have them pay for it if they want to. As I said in another post: it´s like not providing dessert or cake at your wedding because you don´t like it. I´d still provide a cake to make the people I care and love happy. I also prefer friends who are like that. You don´t and so it doesn´t bother you so that´s why I was asking and now I know...
If people can’t make it through a few hours with alcohol- if they literally can’t find a way to have fun without it and feel like the event isn’t worth attending without it- they have a problem. There will be food, friends, dancing- if that’s not enough- that’s alarming. How is it so many people genuinely believe there’s no way to have a good time without getting hammered? That’s just insane. Get help.
F
I wouldn't mind. They don't owe the guests alcohol. It's their wedding, they can do/don't do anything for any reason.
No, because it's THEIR wedding, not mine.
No. Why would it bother you? Is it your wedding?
OTOH, if the sole reason you're going to someone's wedding is so that you can get drunk for free ...
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
First of all princess you sound as stuck up as the bride. Something tells me as much of a douche as you seem to be on the Internet you probably don't get a lot of invites to much of anything. You have no idea if the guy was just kidding around. She wasn't just being holier than thou she was being cheap arrogant. The fact she got mad about it shows she knew she was being a cheap skank. The wedding is about the couple but these people are still your friend and more importantly your guests. Anytime I've invited anyone to anything I pay for everything it's common courtesy. If you can't afford it or are to cheap than do something small and happy instead of big and miserable. It's clear you know nothing of alcoholism because if this guy was an alcoholic he probably wouldn't go let alone complain about it in the first place and if it was a situation where he was obligated to show than he would just bring alcohol anyway. Alcoholics don't drink for fun.
First of all, YTA. It's clear you have no self-awareness and expect others to cater to your needs. It's clear you know nothing about alcoholism because most people that are active alcoholics are in total denial of that fact. To throw in, you're also a sexist. Anybody that calls someone princess as if it is an insult needs a reality check.
Yo, Dan. You seem to have a “holier than thou” attitude yourself. The “Princess” is right & so was the bride…The man asked her if she was joking about not serving alcohol THREE times before he got upset over it, so NO, he wasn’t kidding. And wow, you called the bride a “cheap skank” because the couple decided not to put alcohol on the menu…I bet you don’t get many invites either.
This guy is obviously MAGA Trumptard
You sound like you've adjusted well to being a snowflake. Congratulations.
Im going as far as saying truth apparently hurts.. If you can't have fun without alcohol.. that indicates you are dependent and that makes you an alcoholic. And a wedding is however the to be married couple wants it to be.
I've never seen the fun in waking up with a hangover and lapses in your memory. I like a drink now and then but things are plenty fun without it.